I think I got this chapter up pretty fast! I'm surprised, expecially since I spend so much time playing Kingdom Hearts and working, I barely seem to have time for anything lol. And I was just getting in to the World That Never Was and I fought with Axel, then he faded away. I can't remember if that's the last time I see him or what, I haven't beaten the game since I first got it. I hope not. Axel's the shit.

There's quite a bit of a jump of time between Roxas' story this chapter and from last chapter. About a four or so year difference, actually.

Disclaimers: I own nothing.

Warnings: Swearing, mostly on Axel's part. boy/boy love.

P.S. I reposted this chapter because I was skimming through it this morning and realized that the section that was the same as the prologue was still in third person! Lol So I quickly changed it to 1st person again. Lol did anyone notice my mistake? Lol I feel stupid haha

Chapter 10
Going Under

Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again

I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under

Olette

"Did he really?" Hayner leaned back in my computer chair, setting his feet on my desk.

I glared at his dirty socks and crossed my arms, "Yes, he did. Get those off! I just cleaned."

The blond rolled his eyes and set his filthy feet back on the ground, "And you said yes?"

"Yep."

"But... it's Pence."

"Your point?"

He shook his head, "This is too weird."

I shrugged, "Deal with it. Besides... I think Pence would be great for me. I highly doubt he bets his girls off to strangers."

"That was one time!"

I crossed my arms, trying to silently convey the message to him that I would never get over it. He took in my expression carefully before sighing and looking away, muttering half-hearted apologies.

"Olette! Dinner!"

"You staying for supper?" I asked him.

"Like I would pass up free food?"

--

"So... Hayner... how has your mother been? I haven't talked to her in ages." My mum gave him her sweetest smile, waiting patiently for an answer.

Hayner swallowed the food in his mouth and shrugged, "She's good. Dad's in the process of building her dream office for her. As an early birthday present."

"Oh, how sweet!" She pouted out her upper lip and turned to my dad, "Why don't I get my dream office?"

"Hmph." Was his only reply.

"And what about Pence? He hasn't been over lately. What's he been up to lately?" She asked both of us.

Hayner snorted something that vaguely sounded like "Mauling your daughter." and I kicked him in the shin.

His face contorted in pain and mum watched us, confused, "Did Hayner say something?"

I shook my head, "Pence is great, Mum. He's just been busy with homework lately is all."

"Oh." She still looked a little confused, but accepted the answer.

X.

"So where are we going?" I hooked my arm through the shorter boy's.

He glanced at my hand, biting his lip with nervousness, "Well, uh... I was thinking we could go to the beach."

"The beach! But the beach costs a lot of money!" I was genuinely surprised. A ticket to the beach WAS a lot of money.

"I've been saving up." He glanced shyly at me. I squeezed his arm lightly and we continued towards the station.

The ride towards the beach was peaceful. Several elderly people made polite conversation with us for most of it, and the rest was a semi-comfortable silence. I could sense Pence's shyness and tried to rub some of my calmness on to him. He relaxed a bit when I set my hand on his shoulder and then took a deep breath. "Sorry." He muttered as we stepped off the train and in to an unfamiliar station.

"For what?"

He shrugged, "I don't know... being all shy, I guess."

I laughed lightly, "Pence. It's perfectly okay to be nervous."

He nodded, "Yeah, you're right."

"I mean, come on, it's just me. Olette."

"Exactly!" He gave a frustrated grunt.

"What do you mean?"

"Seriously, Olette? You don't see it?"

I watched him, confusion written all over my face.

He turned away, "You're amazing! You're smart, pretty, caring, and even popular. I've liked you since the day you moved here. When we first became friends, I pondered the thought of asking you out, but was too scared. Then Hayner beat me to the punch and everyone knows he's the hottie of our grade. I knew you'd say yes." He swallowed, glancing at me over his shoulder, "And then on your first day of high school, you become friends with the most popular kids in school! I thought you'd never say yes to someone like me."

"Oh, Pence." I reached out, taking his short hand in mine, "I don't base my friends and... significant others... on popularity. You should know that."

"I do know that! I've always known that. I'm just... now realizing it. It's just another one of your amazing qualities."

A silence drifted between us. Pence thought I was amazing. Me... ordinary, plain-faced, nothing special, me! That meant more to me than if it would have come from a stranger. A friend who knew you in and out, spent almost every waking moment with you, and knew all your bad habits, still thought you were the most amazing person out there. How could anything feel better? Hayner had never called me amazing.

"Thanks." I whispered, clenching his hand a bit tighter, "That means a lot to me."

"You mean a lot to me."

We stood there smiling at each other, not paying any attention to the people walking by. They didn't matter anymore.

"Want to get something to eat?" He suggested after a while.

"Sounds good." He tugged gently on my hand and led me towards a restaurant on the pier.

X.

"Jeez, whats got your spirits so high today?"

"Huh?" I looked up from the window.

He laughed softly, more like a chuckle, and stepped closer, "You've been in a different world all morning."

"Different world?"

He laughed again, "You know... up here." He knocked on the side of his head lightly, indicating his brain, "What's going on?"

I smiled and twirled a lock of hair, "Well, Pence asked me out the other night and I said yes. Then we went to the beach last night and I don't know... it was a lot of fun."

"Pence..." He said the name outloud, trying to think, "Is he the kid with the bandanna? Red jersey?"

"That's him."

"Ah, I see. Well, hey, why not? He seems like a good kid."

"Yeah." I agreed and lay back on the bed, "He is."

The blond slid on to the bed next to me, staring up at the ceiling.

"Roxas?"

"Yes?"

"How long did it take you? To get over Namine's death?"

He turned his head to look at me, studying my face as he contemplated the question, "I'm not sure I ever really did get over it. I just moved on is all."

"Isn't that the same thing?" I flipped on to my side, propping my head on my hand.

"I don't know. I guess."

"So what happened? What made you move on?"

He sat up, getting ready to pace the room. I recognized this as his story mode and quickly tried to make myself comfy.

"Nothing really made me move on. It was just time. Lots and lots of time."

Roxas

"Roxas?"

"Mm."

"Yup, it's you."

"Obviously."

"Aw, cheer up."

"Why?"

"Because it's Riku's birthday, silly!"

"Your point?"

"Come on, Roxas! He's sixteen! You should celebrate!"

"Why, Kairi? How's sixteen any different from fifteen?" I threw an arm over my eyes, shielding myself from the sun. Currently, I was laying in the sand of my backyard, the water washing on to the shore only wetting my calves. Kairi was standing off to the side, ineffectively trying to block the sun for me.

"It's different because I said so! Now stop being a spoil sport and get your ass up! NOW!" She placed her hands on her hip, glaring at me from beneath her reddish hair.

My eyes widened fractionally with surprise before I sat up and just stared at her, "Uh... okay."

She nodded triumphantly, "Good. Now, we're throwing a surprise party for him tonight. You better be there."

"Sure."

She waved and ran off, leaving me sitting alone. Where was Cloud?

I stood up, brushing the sand off my legs in the process. I had grown taller since freshman year.

"Hey."

I jumped at the voice. How did he always sneak up on me?

"Cloud." I stated, breathless, as I turned.

He smiled at my startled expression, "Didn't mean to scare you."

"I bet."

He smiled wider, his blonde hair moving with the wind, "Think what you want. You going to Riku's party tonight?"

"I should."

He nodded his agreement, "You should make more appearances. The gang's becoming all worried over you."

"Why? I'm perfectly fine!"

"Yeah, but you smile less. And you go missing a lot."

"Speak for yourself! You're missing way more than I am! Guess Leon keeps you pretty busy, huh?"

His cheeks tinted red and he shifted, uncomfortable. He was so easy to embarrass.

"Guess he does."

I laughed at this, surprised he even spoke about it. Cloud was very private, especially when it came to his brunette companion. He tried to tell me they were just good friends, but I highly doubted that's where it ended. Cloud was a seventeen year-old gay boy, with an astonishingly good looking nineteen year old friend. I'm not sure of Leon's preferences, but it's pretty obvious they're closer than most guy friends.

"Don't give me that look." He crossed his arms, the sun shining off his silver earring.

I smiled, "I don't know what you're talking about."

The corner of his mouth turned up, forming his cocky half-grin that was so rarely seen.

X.

"Shhh! He's gunna hear you!" Selphie whispered harshly.

Kairi stopped her insane giggling and we all covered our mouths.

"Here he comes!" Tidus dove behind the couch. We all ducked and hid as we heard voices on the porch.

"That was a weird movie." Sora pulled open the front door.

"I know, right?"

"I can't believe he just bit her head off like that!"

"Yeah it was-"

"SURPRISE!"

"Holy shit!" Riku jumped backwards, slipping and falling on his ass. Everyone laughed and crowded around him, offering their congratulations.

Sora helped the silver headed boy to his feet and smiled, "Man, you were scared!"

"Hell yeah I was scared! How often do you open your door and have ten people scream at you?"

I wasn't feeling festive and stood behind the rest, watching. I examined my twin brother closely. He had grown just as much as me in the past few years. His hair, which had once been scruffy and unkept, now just fit his tan skin and fierce eyes. All the chubbiness that had once lined his face was gone, leaving him completely handsome. The brunette patted his older friend on the back and I watched him too. No doubt Riku had grown the most since we were preteens. He had definitely shot up a couple feet, and his silky, silver hair had grown incredibly long.

"Roxas?" Riku was suddenly in front of me, "What? No 'Happy Birthday!'?"

"Sorry." I patted his arm, "Happy sixteenth birthday."

X.

"I can't believe we're sophomores all ready!" Kairi shook her head as we entered the school grounds.

"I know... it's so crazy." Sora agreed.

"I'm sure it's no different from being freshman." Riku spoke from between them.

Wakka pulled open the school doors for us and we trudged in. School sucked.

Schedules were being handed out at the front desk and we each waited for our own. After several moments of comparing classes, we separated for our lockers.

I wasn't really looking forward to this year, especially since none of my classes were anything special, and to top it all off, I had third lunch with only Wakka for company.

"School sucks." I grumbled as we jumped down the front steps.

"Sucky schedule?" Riku asked from behind me. I nodded and sighed. Did I mention school sucks?

--

"Wake up Roxas! We have school soon." Sora nudged me.

I groaned.

"Get up!"

I rolled away and groaned again. Did you ever have those days where all you wanted to do was sleep in? Well, today was that day for me. I just wanted to lay in bed forever. Fuck school. Fuck my life.

"We're gunna be late." The brunette ripped my covers away and I flinched at the loss of warmth, "Okay! I'm up, I'm up!"

"Good, now get dressed. We only have a few minutes."

I sat up and crawled out of bed. There was all ready a pair of clothes folded on the floor and I figured Sora grabbed them for me. I didn't even bother to look at what I had on. Sora knew what he was doing.

Everyone seemed so cheerful on the way to school and it nearly made me sick. Cloud walked silently by my side, quieter than he had been lately. Perhaps him and Leon were in a fight?

"Roxas, who is that?" Riku shifted to my side.

"Huh?" I stopped, looking around.

"Over there." He pointed towards the street and I turned to see, "I'm not spotting anyone."

"Right there, by the pole. Who is he? He's staring at you."

"At me?" I was a little shocked.

"Yeah, look!"

I spotted the person he was pointing to and stopped dead. Riku and the others stopped as well, questions forming on their lips.

"Axel?" I barely whispered the name.

The redhead tilted his head slightly to the side, squinting to see me. He red hair had grown longer and crazier, but the look only suited him. Even from the distance I could make out his twin emerald eyes. But what's this?

Were those tattoos?

I swallowed and stood frozen to the spot. What was he doing here? I hadn't seen him for nearly four years!

He seemed to snap out of his daze and stepped closer. I still didn't move. I could hardly breath. Axel was here, at my school, looking more gorgeous than ever.

"Roxas?" He asked.

My eye twitched at his voice. It was so addicting, the way he talked. I hadn't heard that voice in so long.

"Axel." I responded.

"Axel?" Sora spoke from behind me. Did he remember that name?

The redhead's gaze drifted quickly between me and all my friends, "Roxas..." He looked to me again, "Would you wanna... talk?"

I found myself nodding without really meaning to. Mum would be pissed that I skipped school. Oh well, you only live once, right?

Sora said my name a few more times, trying to reason with me, but I ignored him and followed the redhead off the grounds. He led me across the street and down the hill. There was a diner located on 8th Street, and I was pretty sure that was where he was taking me.

"So..." He began as we were seated, "How've you been?"

I simply stared at him. I hadn't said a word the entire walk here. The only reply I gave him was a shrug.

He examined my motions with interest; one thin eyebrow cocked upwards.

"You've grown." He smiled, his eyes traveling the length of my body.

"So have you." I sat back.

He seemed surprised by my little speech. "So you can talk?"

"One would think."

His grinned lazily, leaning back in his chair and running a hand through his red locks, "Shit this is awkward."

"A little." I squirmed. He wouldn't look away from me; it was making me uncomfortable.

I pointed to his twin tattoos, "I see you got some artwork done."

His eyes glanced down, as if trying to see them, "Yeah. They're an apology. If you'll take it."

"I will." My voice came out in a whisper.

"Did you forget me? Through the years?" He turned serious, leaning forward and looking me in the eye.

I swallowed, "Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"Yeah, I did." A lie.

He nodded, as if expecting this, "Figured."

"Did you forget me?" I looked up.

"Never."

His emerald eyes sat unblinking. I found myself staring in to them without meaning to. They were the most amazing color.

He smiled, "I missed you."

Those three, simple words were what broke my daze, causing my normal Roxas temper to creep back, "There was nothing to miss, Axel. We barely knew each other."

My slight anger took him by surprise, "Even so... something happened between us. Something felt off that entire time I was without you. You didn't feel it?"

"Not even the slightest." Definitely a lie.

He sighed, "Well, I did. Maybe for you it was just a small crush, but not for me. When you went home I could barely think. I wanted you to come back so bad."

"You're the one who pushed me away!"

"You kissed me!"

"Oh, come on Axel! What are we? Second-graders?"

"What the hell did you expect from me Rox?" He threw his hands up in defeat, "You were fucking twelve!"

I glared at the red head, "What the hell does that have anything to do with?"

Axel's emerald eyes flashed with anger, "Oh, come on, I was a freshman! Not only was I dealing with the fact that I could possibly be GAY, but I was gay for my friend... and not just any friend... it was you! My twelve year-old, blond, innocent, little, HOT best friend! You think I didn't want you? Oh god... did I want you..." His eyes flashed with lust. "But I was four years older than you! I freaked, okay?"

"So you left me? Do you know what I've been through? The hell I had to make it through all on my own... managing to barely thrive off a promise you once made me?"

"A promise I also kept, might I remind you!" The taller boy brought his hand on to my shoulder, "If I truly didn't care about you, why would I wait for you for four years? Four fucking years!"

I scowled, "If you really cared, you never would have thrown those scissors at me, huh?"

Axel growled, "What do you want from me? I apologized for that shit!"

"Never ever did you apologize!" I crossed my arms. And Axel hadn't apologized, well, at least not out loud. The two simple tattoos under his eyes were a tribute to me, though; a silent and permanent apology for the invisible scars that had been left behind.

Axel stood and backed a step away, fingering the black triangles on his face.

I looked away.

"I'm sorry, okay? I made a mistake and I know it... I was..."

His voice trailed off and he swallowed.

Neither of us spoke.

My head tilted to the side, "You were what?"

Axel sighed and glanced between me and his shoes, "Scared."

I snorted, "Ha! Now you're just being dramatic... you've never been scared a day in your life!"

The emeralds flashed dangerously, "You don't know a thing about me, Roxas! You really fucking don't. You didn't then and you don't now. I was a fool to wait all this time. I wasted all my high school years for a dream that you refuse to let come true."

With a final sigh, and no response from me, the red head turned to leave, "I kept my end of the deal... what about you?"

I swallowed, "I can't."

Axel scoffed, "I swear to God... you were more mature when you were twelve."

"Years changed me." I shrugged, feeling braver than I actually was.

"Yeah, no doubt."

"Fuck you, Axel."

"Fuck you right back, Roxas."

"Ugh! I hate you! I sincerely hate you! Why did I come with you?" I pushed back my chair. Several customers were watching our display with horror. One of the waitresses seemed to be deciding whether or not to step in.

Axel smirked, "You came because you're a liar. A little fucking liar. I know you thought about me in the past few years. You had to of. Otherwise you wouldn't have come."

"Don't pretend you know anything about me, Axel."

"I'm not accusing you of anything I don't know. I never said your favorite color was pink or your favorite movie was 'Stand by Me', because those things I don't know. But your personality... I'm definitely learning that."

I gritted my teeth but couldn't think of anything to say. Stupid idiot.

"I'm right, ain't I?" His face turned in to a cocky grin. It suited him.

"Black and white."

This definitely threw him off. His face fell and he looked at me, confused, "Huh?"

"Black and white." I said again, "You said you didn't know my favorite color. Well, it's a tie between black and white."

He took this in to consideration before smiling, "Red. That's mine."

I nodded, "Okay... well... what's your favorite kind of cookie?"

He took two careful steps back to our table, "Snicker doodle, you?"

"Sugar."

He nodded his agreement and slowly sat back down. I followed his lead and did the same. The many people eating in the diner went back to their food. A waitress popped by our side, "And what can I get you two?"

"Pancakes. With strawberries." I smiled. She nodded and wrote it down, turning to Axel. The redhead didn't even glance at her, "Bacon, lots of bacon. Oh! And a couple pancakes as well. Only butter."

She quickly walked away and he thought for a moment, "Favorite movie?"

"The Boondock Saints."

"All Dogs go to Heaven."

I burst out laughing, "You're kidding?"

"No! I love that movie!" He crossed his arms.

"Okay, okay..." I cut off my laughter, "You're middle name?"

"Embers. You?"

"Don't have one."

"You don't have one?" He looked confused, but didn't question the matter.

"Favorite animal?" He leaned on to the counter with one elbow.

"Wolf." I didn't really have a favorite animal, but it was Cloud's, so it was the first to come to mind.

"Dragon."

I rolled my eyes, "Dragons aren't real."

He narrowed his eyes but left a smile on his face, "Anything is real."

"Weirdo." I muttered, smiling as well.

-Jaspen