The Awakening Chapter Eleven: Human Fortunes
The winds of heaven change suddenly, as do human fortunes.
- Chinese proverb
My prediction about Han came true quite quickly. He once again developed a sudden change of heart regarding his newly formed camaraderie with the Rebels. Not that I entirely blamed Solo. When matters were examined from his perspective, it seemed almost a shame to not use his handsome prize, which consisted of 20,000 credits and a stash of valuables. Thus, the best thing to do would be to pay off the debt he owed to Jabba the Hutt. That way, Han would be clearing his name and would even be free to resume his aloof distance from both the Empire and Rebellion.
The day following what was to become known as the Battle of Yavin, he shot down an Imperial cruiser that was searching for the now defunct Death Star. After indisputably proving his vastly superior prowess (much to the chagrin of Rebel leaders), Han quickly scooted off with Chewbacca to square things with Jabba. Ironically, Crimson Jack, a space pirate with ties to Jabba, immediately stole Han's reward. With the help of Luke, Leia, Mari, Dashé, and I, Han and his Wookiee first mate managed to defeat and kill the pirate.
Broke and fearing Jabba's retribution, Solo and Chewbacca miraculously found an ancient treasure hidden in one of Yavin 4's temples purely by chance. Han took part of the cache to a trusted contact that in turn delivered it to Jabba. However, Jabba kept the booty and refused to call off the bounty he'd put on Han's head. To my great surprise, Han used the rest of the money earned from selling off the remaining Yavin 4 temple plunder to purchase new X-wings for the Rebellion.
Meanwhile, about a month into the Rebel occupation of Yavin 4, a gnawing suspicion began to eat away at me. A Rebel doctor confirmed my worst fears with a simple blood test: I was pregnant by Biggs. As scared and anxious as I was, I knew it was far better to report the news sooner rather than later to everyone that cared about me. Besides, one of them might have a clearer idea of somewhere safe to retreat to since I couldn't very well stay at a Rebel base under constant threat of evacuation at the first sign of a sizable Imperial threat. In addition, returning home to Tatooine was also out of the question because I knew I could still possibly endanger my family with my presence.
Once the shock of my pregnancy announcement had subsided enough, Dashé swiftly suggested I take refuge on Naboo with her mother Nandi and aunt Teckla. They both lived together in a quiet, soothing private place in Theed, Naboo's capital city, perfect for an expecting woman. Plus, the pair had close connections to the Rebellion, so I would have the Alliance's continuing protection. Everyone else heartily voiced his or her accordance with this common sense plan. In fact, not one word of judgmental condemnation crossed their lips. They only congratulated me and wished me the best. Of course, the atmosphere was still a bit subdued due to the father of my child having been recently killed in a violent manner.
I was definitely grateful to all gathered for their understanding and caring even as a huge sense of loneliness seeped into my brain at the thought of being cut off from those dear to me. There was nothing I could do to change my fate. The moment I discovered I was pregnant, my life had forever been altered. I had to follow that new course to wherever it led me, even if it meant severing my ties again. Two big exceptions existed in defiance of my mixed emotions, though: Han and Chewbacca. Somehow, it didn't seem appropriate to involve them in this situation with Jabba's bounty hanging over their heads. Therefore, only Leia, Dashé, Luke, and Mari were made privy to my pregnancy at that gathering.
Within a few days, my meager belongings were packed in a small travel bag, indicating the arrival of my date to depart for Naboo. Mari would fly R5 and me there in the Coral Star. No one else would be accompanying me except my letter of introduction from Dashé, the first of many more superfluous formalities I was sure to encounter in a household heavily influenced by political traditions. At first blush, such a place seemed more like an institution rather than a comforting home as Dashé had suggested. Nevertheless, I knew Dashé was a woman of her word and could trust her judgment.
My goodbyes with Leia and Dashé were naturally difficult, but my farewell scene with Luke was especially hard to handle. "I'll visit you the first chance I get," he promised with a rueful smile. "Until then, don't let Biggs, Jr. forget about his uncle Luke."
Smiling back at my best friend, tears stinging my eyes, I instinctively touched my belly, though I was nowhere near to showing yet. "Don't worry, Biggs, Jr. will hear so much about you from me that he'll get sick of you before he even meets you," I joked huskily. I gave Luke one last impulsive hug before forcing myself to join Mari and R5 in the landspeeder that would take us to the Star.
& & &
An Outer Rim world like Tatooine, Naboo was the primary planet of the Naboo System and orbited by two small moons. Naboo was unusual in that it lacked a solid mantle and molten core. Instead, the planet was a ball of softer metals riddled with caverns and small tunnels. As a result, Naboo retained copious amounts of water, giving the surface a swampy environment that hid the true extent of the depths of its oceans could reach. The small sections of solid ground were marked by wide, rolling plains.
The only native inhabitants of Naboo were the Gungans, an aquatic, amphibious-looking race. However, the primitive Gungans had long ago been pushed into the deep recesses of the swamps by a group of technologically advanced human colonists. The descendents of these colonists called themselves the Naboo and learned to harness the plasma energy of the planet's core. Eventually, the Naboo founded their capital city of Theed. Theed was bounded and bisected by water, although it was located at the edge of an unusual tall steppeland. Over time, urban expansion split up the waterfall that originally fell over the edge of the steppeland into numerous waterfalls that surrounded the city. This abundance of waterfalls kept the air around Theed in constant motion and thus exhilarating fresh. Theed's architecture was a mixture of classical domes and ornate arches with wide thoroughfares that allowed all manner of traffic to reach Theed Palace.
I was admiring Theed's beauty from above as Mari touched the Star down in Theed's main hangar. Teckla and Nandi were already there waiting for us. The half-sisters were both in their fifties, yet the only signs that hinted at their true age were some slight wrinkles around their dark eyes and a touch of gray in their tied back brown hair. Their figures were still amazingly slim and supple under the flowing dresses they wore. My own mother, who was in her late forties, didn't look nearly as youthful as her older siblings. Once again, I was confronted with the stark contrasts of Mama's wealthy origins and her present self-imposed poverty.
Not surprisingly, Mari treated Teckla and Nandi the same as she did Dashé: with quiet, unpretentious esteem. The two aunts obviously returned the favor to their Jedi niece. Upon presenting my letter of introduction to the pair, I was also warmly welcomed to Naboo by Nandi and Teckla without any hint of stiff formality. I smiled, extremely grateful for their hospitality. Perhaps my difficult, awkward situation really wouldn't be quite as painful to experience with these two kindly women to lead the way. Little did I know how knowledgeable they truly were on this sticky subject of out-of-wedlock childbirth.
Following the introductions, Mari inclined her head toward the Star and declared somberly to her aunts, "Well, I must be on my way. I leave Carithlee in your very capable hands."
"It was good to see you again, Mari," Teckla answered with a doleful smile, "to know you're still alright."
Nandi's face suddenly spilled over with sorrowful bleakness. She placed a motherly hand on Mari's shoulder, softly requesting, "Please give Dashé my regards."
My cousin nodded, her face frozen in the perfectly calm, grave expression she normally wore. However, Mari's eyes exhibited an unusual display of emotion. That emotion was pain, and she clearly felt it for Nandi. It was also equally easy to comprehend the reasoning behind Mari's commiseration. Mari had already spent a good portion of her life as a fugitive living on the fringes of society. Now Dashé ended up sharing Mari's fate, leaving Nandi heartbroken and anxious about the uncertainty of her daughter Dashé's future.
An instant later, the pangs of agony melted away from Mari's eyes. To me, she directed this terse parting remark: "May the Force be with you, Carithlee."
With a spin of the heels, Mari turned to face her ship, strode toward it purposefully, and boarded it, not once glancing over at the small group she'd left behind. Similar masks of unreadable looks scattered across both Nandi and Teckla's faces while they silently watched the Star take off. To be honest, I felt a little embarrassed for having witnessed such a private moment between the trio, even if they were my so-called family.
The two sisters didn't allow their stillness to be drawn out for any longer than when the freighter had disappeared into a tiny point of light in the atmosphere. "Come, Carithlee, let us show you our home. It's only a short walk away," Teckla offered amiably, sweeping her hand toward the main pedestrian entrance, which was congested with plenty of foot traffic. Like Teckla, Nandi's face had reverted back to that familiar friendly expression I had been welcomed with earlier. Thus reassured, I followed my aunts, travel bag in hand.
& & &
My time with Nandi and Teckla had officially begun. For the most part, they let me be. Apart from the day of my arrival where they'd so dreary at Mari's parting, they delivered no less than what Dashé had promised helpful, kind assistance toward ensuring I had a healthy baby. Otherwise, they seemed to give me more than enough breathing room to reflect on my current situation. Such an action was both a blessing and curse. On the one hand, I could better select choices regarding my child when living in a supportive setting with a relatively composed mind. Conversely, this decision-making unleashed the embarrassment and regret I'd been holding back since my discovery of the pregnancy.
The origin of these two emotions emerging stemmed from realizing how obviously stupid Biggs and me were to not take proper precautions before having sex. At the time, I didn't believe we would survive the Battle of Yavin, so what did foresight matter? Of course, I had no good justification for not acting safe and smart, especially not one as lame as the above excuse. Nor did I look upon the consequences of our foolish action as some kind of punishment. Life is a precious commodity for all beings, no matter what they are or how they're conceived. As a result, the very least I could do was give the baby growing inside of me a fair chance at life. The process just would've been a whole lot easier if Biggs were present with me now to shoulder some of the responsibility.
Another topic of vital interest to me was my mother's past. Ever since I'd arrived on Naboo, curiosity raged in me at what were time here was like. In fact, I only knew my mother hailed from Naboo when Dashé told me so. Unfortunately, Dashé didn't reveal any further details, and neither did Nandi or Teckla. Although I could readily understand their hesitation due to the pain recounting old stories can dredge up, I was also upset at being kept in the dark on something that couldn't be nearly as dangerous as when I'd found out about the Death Star. Mari, too, was included in this equation of ire. Still, as much as I sensed Mari no doubt had all the answers to both my mother's life on Naboo and then her time with my father, Mari was a lot more reserved than our other relatives. It'd be a far easier feat to convince someone else to open up to me.
Thus preoccupied with the past, I watched the days swiftly blur and evaporate like moisture in the Tatooine atmosphere. Nevertheless, the present still persisted in intruding on my consciousness, thereby forcing me to reluctantly acknowledge its presence. This moment of compelled concession occurred almost following a full day of aimlessly attempting various pointless activities in a vain effort to keep myself busy during my aunts' long shifts at Theed Royal Palace. When Nandi and Teckla finally arrived home in the evening, the hired help (who did all the housework and left me to languish in idleness) served dinner to the three of us together. Ensuing this brief reunion, we broke apart again, the sisters to retire for the night, and I to enjoy the beauty of the summer night from the comfort of the main balcony of my aunts' spacious, shell-white villa.
Besides painting a panoramic view of Theed's graceful skyline, the balcony offered a more intimate view of beautiful Theed Palace, the ancient seat of Naboo's government. As much of an oxymoron as it sounds, Naboo's progressive-minded democratic political system revolves largely around elected monarchs, not representatives. Kylantha was the current queen in this long line of rulers when I lived on Naboo. Although Kylantha acted outwardly loyal to the Empire, she failed to implement any of the sweeping changes to government often associated with Imperial doctrine. Most significantly, Kylantha refused to dissolve the Naboo Royal Advisory Council, a governing body formed to assist the monarch of Naboo in day-to-day affairs. Many believed her actions, or lack thereof, nakedly revealed her support for the Alliance. Considering the large amount of Rebel agents and sympathizers I had come into contact with recently, I wouldn't be surprised if Queen Kylantha turned out to be yet another Rebel in disguise.
As I observed my nightly routine of staring grim-faced before a brightly illuminated Theed Palace, the present and its dismal prospects slapped me full in the countenance. My involvement with the Rebels had definitely been a factor in steering me to this disturbing and unsettling period of my life. How foolish and naïve I was to actually believe leaving Tatooine would be the easiest decision of my life. Nothing about my departure had developed the way I'd wanted it to be. Even if I had actually ended up joining the Imperial Academy, I most likely would've become disillusioned with the Empire just like Biggs. Then I would've had the additional sin of traitor on my hand I defected. Honestly, if I had to to choose between either the path of outright Rebel or turncoat Imperial, my nerves could handle the former much better than the latter.
One warm summer evening about two months after I'd reached Naboo, Nandi's slender figure hesitantly ventured onto the balcony where I sat in a chair, my hands resting on the slight bulge of my stomach. "Carithlee, may I join you?" she softly inquired, indicating with hand an empty chair next to me.
I nodded, and my aunt lowered herself onto the chair. Her body shifted uncomfortably, yet another physical sign she was feeling as awkward as I was. Neither Nandi nor Teckla had ever bothered to spend time with me on this balcony, much less anywhere else in this villa. Their lives seemed busy enough as it was simply tending to their demanding jobs and the ongoing matter of my prenatal care. Since I knew the two sisters were doing a huge favor by taking me in, I tried to stay out their way as much as possible so as to avoid becoming a burden.
Ensuing a brief silence where we both thoughtfully surveyed Theed Palace, Nandi fixed her eyes upon me, speaking in that same tone of profound sadness that I'd fleetingly caught a glimpse of my first day on Naboo. "I've passed by this balcony every night on my way to bed, and you're always here, gazing at the palace. For the longest time, I knew the palace reminded you of our family's association with Naboo's rulers, and the status that accompanies such a position which is something completely at odds with what you were led to believe about your mother." I nodded in the affirmative, waiting for Nandi to continue her startling perceptive speech. "It wasn't until tonight that I at last mustered up enough courage to hazard an amble out here. You see, you reminded me so much of another family member of ours that had been in a situation similar to your current one."
"Who do you mean?" I questioned with keen interest, all semblance of stiffness between us promptly vanished.
"Mari's mother Versé," Nandi furnished, her voice wistful and her expression full of unspoken remembrances. " Versé became pregnant at only the age of sixteen." The next moment, though, Nandi's tone became bitter and twisted with a palatable anger unbated over the years. "The good-for-nothing father abandoned her as soon as she told him of her condition, leaving Teckla and me to care for her and her child."
My aunt paused to examine me through much calmer eyes. I suppressed the urge to squirm under sudden and inexplicable close even as I instinctively sensed the reason for her evaluation: she was weighing her next words carefully.
"It's...eerie how much you were like Versé. While she was pregnant, she would quietly sit out here at night just like you. Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to talk to her since I had Dashé and Airten to raise." Nandi smiled ruefully. "Still, I knew Versé had a great attitude in spite of the numerous obstacles she had to overcome. After all, motherhood was the mutual state of being from which we'd gain our new purpose in life. We'd ceased to exist living for merely ourselves. Our children became the future, a future that we hoped included a life better than the the one we knew. You, too, will come to understand this realization even if you don't already now," Nandi concluded significantly.
Again, I nodded, preferring to refrain from as little conversation as possible on my part, afraid I would somehow break Nandi from the strange spell that remembering the past can conjure up. In spite of my concern, though, Nandi's face still held that distant appearance, compelling her to resume her narrative.
"As you already know, Carithlee, Versé's child Mari turned out to be Force-sensitive. Mari was sent to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant for training not long after birth. Versé wanted to see her daughter grow up, so much so that she accepted a position as a bodyguard for a Naboo Senator on Coruscant. For the first five years of Mari's life, Versé watched Mari from afar since the Jedi had strictly forbad any familial interference."
"Why would the Jedi do that?" I couldn't help blurting out, shocked by such a restriction. Even if I didn't always like my family at various transitory periods for various fleeting reasons, I couldn't imagine completely cutting them off from my life. Well, unless I was forced to abandon them due to dire circumstances, and this qualifier had indeed already happened.
Wanly, Nandi only offered a slight wisp of a smile. "The Jedi separated potential students from their families to minimize the chances of their being distracted from the training. In short, these future Jedi's minds can't be clouded with preconceived perceptions that would detract from the main expectation for Jedi: to be fair and impartial in all conduct."
"Well, I better understand the Jedi's position now that you explained everything," I slowly admitted, Mari's eternally somber face flashing through my mind.
"As a family where Force-sensitive individuals have abounded for countless generations, we just accepted the inevitable path of giving up all of those particular family members to the Jedi," Nandi further clarified. "In my lifetime, my sister Alicka and my niece Mari both joined the Jedi ranks. Versé, though, refused to let go of Mari and followed her daughter to Coruscant with that bodyguard post. Eventually, this job cost Versé most dearly: she lost her life in the line of duty when an assassination attempt was unleashed on the Senator she protected. Your mother then used her political connections to secure Mari a place at your father's side as his Padawan. Alicka already had an apprentice of her own, but even if she hadn't, the familial ties definitely precluded Alicka from serious consideration."
Any fool could easily detect the massive curiosity frozen in my features. Knowing Mama's headstrong personality, I could absolutely envision her wielding power in a political arena. I'd suspected as much since my initiation into this ancient and influential clan. Yet to have this possibility corroborated by someone who had at one time been close to Mama only heightened my sense of surprise.
Suddenly, a sharp pain originating in my lower abdomen section caused me to double over. To my horror, thick blood rapidly soaked my thin white dress. Acute cramping completely wiped out whatever remaining resolve I possessed, and I fell to my knees on the ground. The severity and abruptness of my symptoms keenly impressed upon me what they meant when headed as a set of related events: I was miscarrying. Not that it mattered if the dangerous indicators had had a more gradual onset. My shock and terror would've still been just as potent because I was losing my final link to Biggs either way.
Frantic, Nandi kneeled beside me and protectively wrapped her arms around me. "Carithlee!" she exclaimed. I was unresponsive, my low threshold for pain pulling me down into unconsciousness. As if from a distance, I heard my aunt yell for help.
With the last of my strength, I, too, called for assistance, only the cry was not spoken aloud. I was using my meager command of the Force to beg Luke to come to me at once.