She's short, she's flat, and she's got a temper to boot. But she's cute, and she can cook. Why not give her a second look? Ooo! Ouch...are you okay?

The Trials of Uzumaki Naruto, Girl

by MingShun

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

2 Narutos are standing together, one is hanging off of the other. One a boy and one a girl. The boy shifted uncomfortably as he tried to pry the girl off of his arm. There is a third Naruto right in front of them. This one is a girl.

Suddenly the lone girl fell to her knees. "Take me with you! Please!"

The boy recoiled violently, "One of you is too much to take care of already!"

"Yeah yo!" the other girl said as she hugged his arm even tighter. She paused, "Hey!" she shouted as she reared back to punch the boy.

"Ahh! I didn't mean it like that!" the first girl cried as she started to gag.

The Author stops watching the odd scene to move a corncob pipe aside and turn to address the audience. "I uhh...dunno if I own any of them. To be safe, I'll say that I don't and they all belong to Masashi Kishimoto. I'm just borrowing them...although..."

He turns and watches as the two girls stop shouting. Moments later, they were at each other's throat, totally ignoring the fact that they were stepping on the only male Naruto as they struggled to overpower the other. Soon after, friends from both sides leap in and join the tussle. A dust cloud started to form as the rumble went into overdrive.

"...ask my coauthor. Maybe she knows who these people are."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Oh wait, there were actually nine shadows, but the ninth one had an affinity for shadows and an incredible propensity for blending in. He was very difficult to spot, it's no wonder I missed seeing him.

He followed not because he wanted to, but because he knew that she would never stop bothering him if he wasn't there to interrupt the others. Troublesome.

-o-o-o-o-o-
Chapter 10: Shikamaru
-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto stepped into the living room with one arm stretched into the air and a large smile on her face. Her other arm was over her head and pulling on the first one a little as she stretched to work the kinks out of her back.

She stopped and blinked. Then she blinked again before she rubbed her eyes.

"What are you doing?" she finally asked when she realized she wasn't seeing things.

"Looking for a piece of paper with your signature on it so that I can forge it," Hanabi sleepily replied. She had been here all night.

"Oh." Naruto said after a moment. "Why don't you ask me to sign it instead?"

Hanabi suddenly stood up and walked over. She held out a piece of paper and said, "please sign here." She pointed at the indicated spot.

Naruto took the document and looked curiously at it for a moment. She finally looked up. "What is it?"

Hanabi sighed, "It's a signature form that gives me permission to add your name to our marriage certificate."

Naruto scratched her head for a moment before she held the document out, "No, that's okay. I have enough knives already."

Hanabi looked oddly at the blonde for a moment. She shook her head, sleepiness was making her hear weird things. "You don't want to sign it?"

"Of course not. I already told you that I have too many knives," the other girl briskly repeated.

So she wasn't hearing things. "Very well," Hanabi said as she took back the document before looking around the messy living room. "Could you sign this?" Hanabi asked as she picked up something from the ground and held it out.

Naruto looked oddly at it for a moment before she shrugged, "I don't know why you want me to sign a blank piece of paper, but okay. Do you have a pen?"

Hanabi helpfully held out the requested item and Naruto quickly signed in a random spot. The Hyuuga picked up the paper before she promptly walked toward the door.

"Bye whoever you are!" Naruto cheerfully called out right as the shorter girl stepped out of her apartment.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Meanwhile, Hiashi and Hinata were tirelessly scanning through Konoha in their epic search. They had been up all night searching for their missing family member.

"What if she's at Naruto-kun's home?" Hinata finally asked, proposing the one spot they hadn't searched yet.

"Hanabi is forbidden from entering that part of the village, daughter," Hiashi promptly replied.

"of course," Hinata quietly said.

Their search continued.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Back again?" the clerk asked as he glanced over the counter.

"Yes," Hanabi tiredly replied as she struggled to stand on the tips of her toes. She extended Naruto's completed signature form toward the clerk.

The clerk reached over and took it. Hanabi stepped back so that she could see the man behind the tall desk.

"This signature..." the clerk slowly said.

The girl remained silent. Did he suspect something?

The clerk then shrugged, as he set down the signature form and found the marriage form that Hanabi had filed yesterday. Sliding back a little, he opened a drawer and pulled a blank marriage certificate from his desk. He started to fill in a few of the blanks on the marriage certificate before he suddenly stopped writing.

"According to your birth date...you're 7 years old?" the man asked in surprise.

Hanabi nodded briskly.

"How old is," the clerk looked at the application for a brief moment, "Naruto then?" he asked.

"12," Hanabi replied, quickly recalling that Naruto was in her sister's class.

"I'm sorry, but both of you are too young to be married."

"Naruto is a nin," Hanabi promptly said.

"Okay, Naruto is old enough. But you're still too young."

Hanabi promptly glared, although her tiredness killed the effect. Sensing the weakness of her attack, Hanabi immediately used her family name. "I am a member of the Hyuuga main branch and I demand that you marry us."

Instead of being worried, a thoughtful look appeared on the bespectacled man's face. "Umm, well, I was leafing through the marriage laws one night..."

"And..." the small girl snapped.

"Well..." the clerk hesitated.

"Did you find any exceptions to being underage?"

"No."

"Can you look the other way?" Hanabi asked as she pulled out a large stack of ryo bills from her pocket and flashed it at the clerk.

The clerk looked interestedly at the bills before he quickly looked away. "No. There's a law against that too."

"Then what did you find?" Hanabi demanded.

"Nothing, the laws on marriage are pretty strict actually. There are even rules that restricts the number of partners that one can have in a lifetime. There really isn't anything I can do."

There was a thud.

"What did you do?!" the man that was next in line suddenly shouted.

The clerk peered over the desk to see the girl bent over, her palms on the floor. Spots slowly dotted the floor. Hanabi was crying.

"Hey," the clerk said. "Listen." Even though the girl on the floor wasn't looking up at him, he continued anyway. "I can't do anything, but there might be a way..."

The girl looked up at him with hope in her eyes.

"If you can get the Hokage to approve, you can be married that way. Just bring back the marriage declaration so I can file it away."

A neutral look immediately replaced the Hyuuga girl's expression. Quickly wiping her face with her sleeve, the girl bowed and ran out.

"Next!" the clerk finally called out.

"What was that all about?" the next in line asked as he slowly stepped up.

The clerk shrugged, "Marriage is a popular topic among young girls these days. They normally give up when they first see the forms but she took it farther than most."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto silently padded into the large office. She immediately saw that the large desk was empty. Looking slightly to the left and right, Naruto noticed that Shizune wasn't at her usual spot either. She turned to leave...only to leap back with a yelp of surprise.

"No missions today brat," Tsunade said as she entered the room with a large bottle of sake balanced on her head. Naruto noticed that the old hag had her hands hidden behind her back. Shizune followed close behind her mentor, her hands also concealed behind her body. Tonton was the last to enter the room. She was sniffing around warily as she followed the two taller women.

A grin appeared on the Fifth's face, causing Naruto to blink and step back.

"However," Tsunade announced as she brought her hands forward to show what she was hiding. "You get to choose today brat. Which would you like to wear?" the Hokage asked as she showed what was in her hands.

"Dammit! I don't want to...that one! Can I wear that one? Please?" Naruto begged. She was very close to falling on her knees and worshipping the clothing in Tsunade' hands.

Tsunade gave Naruto the requested item before she pulled something else out from thin air. "Don't forget this," Tsunade said as she held up a cap. It immediately disappeared from the Hokage's hands.

Forgoing modesty, Naruto quickly changed right in front of them. She soon had on bright orange overalls and an orange t-shirt.

A bright-orange buttonless visored newspaper boy cap perched precariously on her head. It was clearly too large for her head. Another interesting thing about it was the orange spiral within a white circle embossed on the front.

Naruto had a great big smile on her face as she dashed out of the room to show the world her new style.

Back in the room, Tsunade turned smugly to her apprentice.

Shizune stood to the side, forgotten, a sad look on her face as she held a nice black and white dress in her hands.

"Told you she'd wear it," Tsunade gloated as she pulled the sake bottle off her head and prepared to uncap the bottle.

Shizune looked down at the dress in her hands for a moment before she looked up with narrowed eyes. She growled long and low.

"Hey, what's with that look?" Tsunade asked as she backed away slightly, her hands in a warding gesture.

Shizune cried loudly in anger as she tackled her teacher. The sake bottle went flying through the air, only to land harmlessly on the desk.

After several minutes of floundering...

"It doesn't fit," Shizune cried.

"Of course it doesn't!" Tsunade roared in reply as she struggled to free her arms and pull the dress off of her head.

There was a small knock on the doorframe.

With great effort, Tsunade finally managed to remove the dress from her head without ripping it apart.

Now able to see again, she turned to find Hanabi standing at the door. She quickly looked down at the dress in her hands.

Looking up, she that her apprentice was also staring intently at the small dress. The mousy woman suddenly looked up as well. Their eyes met, and a silent message passed between the two of them before the two turned back toward the patiently waiting white-eyed girl.

Large smirks suddenly appeared on both woman's faces.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto sobbed quietly as she glared at the ground. She was currently sitting on a large root and leaning against an ancient tree in the park. Numerous cuts and bruises lined the exposed skin on her face, neck, and arms. The blue overall that she was wearing even had holes in them.

"Hey," came a lazy voice, Naruto looked up. It was Shikamaru. "I saw what happened."

"Come to gloat?" she angrily asked.

"No, I came to say sorry."

"Why," Naruto asked curiously.

"I was there, I should have stopped her before she started."

"Don't worry about it," Naruto quietly said as she leaned forward to rest her chin on her knees. She picked at the ground with a small stick in her hands.

"You do know that you look better right?"

"Do I?" Naruto sniffed.

Shikamaru hesitantly nodded as he took a seat next to her and laid down. "Don't tell her I said this, but Ino is an expert at makeup and..."

When he said that "blue is less troublesome than orange," Naruto's face morphed into a mask of fury as she leapt upon the lazy cloud watcher.

"I want them back!" Naruto howled as she struggled to punch him.

It's a good thing she was so small and light, Shikamaru was barely holding the angry girl back. He finally managed to place his hands solidly on her chest and push her off with one mighty grunt.

Naruto immediately rolled over before digging her feet into the grass as she prepared to leap at him with blood in her eyes. Except...she couldn't move.

"Kagemane no Jutsu was a success." Shikamaru lazily said as he slowly got up and backed away.

Once he was a comfortable distance away, he started to talk. "Calm down Naruto. I'll have Ino return them to you. Okay?"

Naruto stopped struggling. "Really?" she asked with glimmering eyes. Her face had lit up so radiantly that it was almost as if she wasn't angry or sad in the first place.

"Okay, I'm calm!" she chirped.

Shikamaru released her. But instead of heading towards Ino's house, Naruto watched as Shikamaru found a wide open spot and laid down.

A few minutes passed before a shadow suddenly blocked his sunlight. Shikamaru turned his head slightly to see why.

Naruto was crouched beside his head and peering curiously down at him. "Ne ne, why aren't you getting them now?" she asked.

Shikamaru gave a halfhearted shrug. "It's too troublesome to do it right now," he said. When a confused look appeared on the other's face, the shadow user sighed. "Ino wants me to join her on a shopping trip today. It'll be less troublesome if I went at night when all of the shops are closed." he clarified.

A vein started pulsing upon Naruto's forehead. "Get them now," she growled as she leaned forward menacingly.

"..." Shikamaru looked at the blond for a moment. "Troublesome," he said as he slowly sat up. She might look innocent, but that unseen danger wafting off of her in waves was a credible threat.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Yay!" Naruto cheered when she saw what was in Shikamaru's hands when he left Ino's house half an hour later.

"5 o' clock," The lazy Nara moaned as he handed over the orange t-shirt, cap, and overalls.

Naruto stopped admiring her clothing to look up at him. "Eh?" she asked with a curious look on her face.

In exchange for those, Ino wants me to take her on a date at five.

"Then take her on a date!" Naruto snapped before she started to walk away.

"I'm not even dressed," the shadow user lazily said, freezing the blond in place.

Naruto looked at him for a moment before she took his arm and started to lead him somewhere.

"I'd rather be cloud watching..." Shikamaru mumbled as he let himself be pulled along.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The two stood inside of one of Naruto's favorite clothing shop.

"Ne ne, how about this?" Naruto, now wearing her new orange overalls again, held up a shirt and pants comba. She was currently standing next to the store's bargain bin. It was full of orange clothes.

"I'm not wearing that." Shikamaru said irritatedly.

Naruto's face fell. She carefully returned the two to the box before she rummaged through it again. A happy look appeared. "This is nice!" she cheerfully said presenting what she found.

"No it isn't," Shikamaru deadpanned.

"Mou..."

After several more rejections...

"Find your own clothes then!" Naruto angrily shouted at Shikamaru when she finally had enough of him shooting down every single one of her choices.

"Too much trouble. Let's come back later," he suggested.

It really was too much trouble, and she wanted to agree, she really did. But she didn't want to see her effort go to waste. So "no, get it done now!" she screeched in his face.

With a sigh, Shikamaru turned and pulled something from off of a nearby rack.

Naruto immediately fell to the ground and burst out laughing. Shikamaru just stood there with a lazy look on his face.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The two stepped into the bright sun. "Good luck on your date with Ino," Naruto said as she prepared to walk away.

Shikamaru briefly grumbled something about clothes and being poorer before he lazily said, "I don't know where to eat..."

Naruto froze in place, the motion causing the oversized cap that she was wearing to slip over her eyes.

"Ramen!" Naruto loudly proclaimed into the cap.

"That's not a good restaurant," Shikamaru said with a sweatdrop.

Naruto lifted the orange cap with a hand, revealing her crystal-blue eyes. "It is too!" She defended as she reached forward and took his free hand. She was going to show him just how perfect ramen was for every occasion. Even for a date with Ino.

-o-o-o-o-o-

They hadn't gone far when Naruto felt a small tap on her shoulder.

"It's you!" she shouted when she turned and saw the girl that had been in her house earlier. The black-haired girl was still dressed in her traditional black kimono.

Back at the Hokage tower, Tsunade and Shizune stared at the nice black and white dress wondering what they were going to do with it. There was a knock. It was Sakura.

Back in the market district,"You look tired, are you all right?" Naruto asked the shorter girl with the cold look on her face.

She received a cool nod in reply. "Oh, okay. So what did you want?" The hyperactive blond asked before she was forced to fall back a little as something was pushed in her face.

As Hokage, I now declare Naruto Uzumaki and Hanabi Hyuuga married. This document announces this change in status and gives the bearer the right to change the records to update this new development even if...

Tsunade

Hanabi pulled the scroll back and looked expectantly up at Naruto.

"Oh...uh...what did it say?" Naruto dumbly asked. It was the language of law, how was she expected to read and understand it?

The ground shook slightly when the two near her suddenly fell over.

Just kidding! Shikamaru was too lazy for that and Hanabi was willing to work around her new partner's problems.

"We're married," Hanabi calmly explained as she pulled the scroll back and rolled it up.

Shikamaru's eyes widened but he said nothing.

Naruto's confused look remained. "Oh...what does that mean?"

Hanabi bowed her head in thought before she looked up. "Your home is now my home. Your food is now my food. Your clothes are now mine..." she sternly said.

"Umm...okay," Naruto interrupted as she scratched her head. "Wow, so complicated," she mumbled to herself.

"So you agree?" Hanabi asked.

"Not really..." Naruto replied.

"Hokage-sama mentioned that you might not, so she gave me these..." Hanabi said as she reached into her voluminous sleeve and pulled something out.

"Okay!" Naruto cheered as she swiped the golden coupons that granted her 50 percent-off on her next Ichiraku visit.

She finally stopped drooling on the tickets to look up. There was a confused expression on her new friend's face.

"What are you doing?" Hanabi finally asked.

"Oh! I just took Shikamaru shopping for new clothes. And now I'm going to show him that Ichiraku's Ramen is a good place to take a date. I don't know what we'll do next but-"

"Have fun on your date," Hanabi interrupted as she passed them and continued on her way.

The two watched the younger girl slouch a little some distance out. "She looks a bit tired," Naruto commented before she turned to her companion. "Date?" she asked curiously as she lifted the cap out of her eyes again. "What do you think she meant Shikamaru?"

The shadow-user just shrugged.

-o-o-o-o-o-

After several bowls of ramen...the two left Ichiraku's. Shikamaru was still wholly unconvinced of the value of taking Ino to the ramen stand for a date, even if it was cheap. Naruto didn't notice because something else had caught her eye.

"Ne ne, do you need to show Ino something fun to do?" Naruto asked.

"No, why?" Shikamaru asked before he turned to see what the blond girl was pointing at.

Konoha 5th Annual Inventions Show
Admission: Free

"Waa! I've always wanted to come to this fair since it first started," the girl excitedly cried as she ran ahead.

"Naruto..." Shikamaru started to say. But it was too late. Naruto had already entered the large crowd. With a sigh, he slouched forward and followed. "Troublesome girl."

"Look Shikamaru!" Naruto shouted as she bounced on a cushion of a massage chair.

"SHIKAMARU!" Naruto suddenly shouted from the other side of the show. The megaphone was suddenly ripped from her hands by the angry booth owner. The girl pouted slightly before she ran into the crowd.

"Shikamaru! Look!" Naruto cried as she sat on a large rubber ball. There were handholds and a seat on the ball for a rider. Unfortunately, stability was still an issue as Naruto conveniently demonstrated when the ball rolled forward, throwing off its rider before running her over.

After flailing for a bit, Naruto finally sat up with an embarrassed smile. Her smile soon turned to shock and dismay.

A redhead woman had an unresisting Shikamaru in her grasp.

"Who are you? What are you doing to Shikamaru?" Naruto demanded as she reached out and picked up her oversized orange cap. She plopped it back on her head before she glared at the taller woman.

The redhead had a devilish smirk on her face as she said, "take a guess, brat!"

Naruto squinted at the woman for a second. When she saw soft furry ears and several tails flash for a brief second, she instantly knew who this was.

"Gaah! Ero-sennin how did you figure out my Orioke no Jutsu?!" Naruto demanded.

The redheaded woman was abruptly dogpiled by a group of angry women clad in towels.

Jiraiya took that moment to step out from behind Naruto. He smacked her on the back of the head.

"Ack!" Naruto cried as stars filled her vision.

"As if I'd learn such a stupid Jutsu from you, gaki!" Jiraiya shot back.

It had become suspiciously quiet.

"Get him!" one woman finally shouted as the rest jumped off of their somewhat-innocent victim and rushed the blond girl and the old man.

"Wait! I haven't presented my new toaster yet!" Jiraiya shouted as he turned and ran for it.

In a stunning moment of luck, Naruto wasn't trampled when the stampede passed her.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The redheaded woman quickly shot to her feet. "Nevermind brat," she angrily said as she walked over to Shikamaru and prepared to pick him up. However, there was another redheaded woman in back of Shikamaru who was kneeling down and trying to untie him.

Two pairs of red eyes met.

"Anata!" the one in back of Shikamaru suddenly shouted as she happily turned behind her and called to her husband. "Look! My long lost twin!"

The one in front of Shikamaru turned around happily as well. Her face soon fell and the words died in her throat when she saw who was behind her.

"Ow!" Naruto suddenly cried. "What was that for?" Naruto shouted at the redhead lady in front of her before she turned around when she felt someone staring at her.

"I was under the impression that you were sick." A man that looked suspiciously like the Fourth said as he stepped up to her.

Naruto didn't hesitate. Not when her life was on the line. "I am dattebayo!" she pretended to cough several times, "I was going to the drugstore for some medicine!" She coughed again, the jerking motion causing her cap to slip over her eyes once more.

The blond man continued to give her a long searching look before he shrugged and turned to his wife. "You don't have a twin, honey. Remember? You're an only child. Now, we have to hurry home. Little Naruto still doesn't have a babysitter."

"Oh! That's right," the woman enthusiastically said, agreeing with her husband on both points. She took her husband's hand and the two disappeared in a bright yellow flash.

Naruto raised the cap from her eyes, before she turned and glared up at the redhaired woman. Something had just occurred to her.

"You're the fox aren't you?"

The redhead lady gaped at the short blond for a moment before the shock disappeared and amusement took over. "That's right brat."

Naruto's expression suddenly changed. "How come you're a girl now? Did you have a seal concealing you in a genjutsu too?"

Kyuubi fixed the blond with a half-lidded gaze. "Fool! I'm neither guy nor girl. My true form is a fox!"

"..." It was Naruto's turn to gape at Kyuubi in shock. The surprise quickly left as duty made itself known. "Let Shikamaru go! He has a date in less than an hour." she demanded.

"Only if you beat me," Kyuubi replied with a large toothy grin.

"Eh?!"

"But if I win, you remove the collar and I keep the worthless boy."

"Eh?!" Naruto cried in surprise.

"Agreed?" she asked with a seductive wink.

That annoyed her. "Fine!" Naruto shouted with a glare.

"Hey. Don't I get a say in this?" Shikamaru calmly asked.

"No!" both females shouted loudly at him.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered.

"What's the contest," Naruto demanded as she turned back to the redheaded woman.

The two suddenly turned when they heard someone loudly announce...

"Let's hear it for Kakashi Hatake with a score of 92!"

"Just like my eternal rival to beat me in a youthful match of Karaoke," Gai's voice came right after.

Naruto and Kyuubi look at each other before they pushed through the line of people waiting to sing. Despite the protests from the crowd, no one wanted to challenge the two who were obviously in the middle of a full scale war. Both were soon the next in line and once onstage, Shikamaru was abruptly tossed against the glaringly bright backdrop as the two picked their song and prepared to sing.

Naruto had a great voice. However...

...the crowd was soon booing and shouting for her to get off the stage.

Having almost never listened to a song in her life, she was completely tone deaf.

Steaming, Naruto stopped singing to shout a few choice words. A quarter of the crowd scurried away in fear.

"Only a quarter? You're slipping brat..." Kyuubi blandly commented.

"Shut up!" Naruto shouted into the microphone causing the rest of the crowd to cover their ears.

The song was halted midway through and the automatic scorer immediately gave Naruto a 23 out of 100.

It was now Kyuubi's turn. When she walked up, the crowd grew 5 times larger.

In moments, the crowd stopped leering at the redhead women to cover their ears.

It was too dangerous to remove their hands from their ears and pull her off, and Kyuubi was allowed to sing the song to completion. Three minutes of nightmarish agony that the crowd would never forget. When the song finally ended, Naruto congratulated Kyuubi on a song well done. On the television screen, the scorer gave a score of 'My ears!'. 'Truly the worst' flashed right underneath.

The blond didn't notice the crowd swarm onto the stage with murder in their eyes. However, Kyuubi certainly did, and she immediately pulled out a pair of weapons to defend herself.

One of them was her trusty bullwhip and the other was...the legendary sword. Kyuubi took a long look at the sword for a moment before she thrust it into Naruto's arms.

Naruto looked at the weapon in her hands in surprise before she pulled it out of the sheath. She swung and the crowd in front of her reared back in fear.

She used it fairly well. When someone tried to blindside her, a wide threatening swipe in his direction scared him off.

For a minute, she kept the crowd around her at bay while Kyuubi cleared a path. But then Naruto thrust a bit too hard and her cap fell over her eyes.

Now blind, she panicked. In moments, she was wildly chopping the sword in all directions. Really wildly...

"Stop brat!" Kyuubi ordered as she ducked out of the way to avoid friendly fire.

"She's armed!" someone from a group of peacekeeping nin shouted as they arrived to break up the conflict. They pulled out shuriken of all types and threw.

Quickly batting the flying metal shards from out of the air with the whip, Kyuubi leapt at Naruto. Several cuts appeared on her loose sleeves before she managed to knock Naruto's hat off.

Naruto immediately stopped swinging to bend down and pick it up. Kyuubi had other plans, however, as she grabbed the blond girl around the waist and leapt high into the air.

"No! My hat!" Naruto cried as she vainly reached for the orange eyesore.

"After them!" the leader of the pack of nin shouted. They quickly followed after the troublemakers.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Kyuubi easily lost their pursuers. And soon she returned with Naruto to the scene of the crime. There, they found Shikamaru untied and being chewed out by Ino.

Ino suddenly rounded on them.

"You hussy. I can't believe you!"

"Who's a hussy," Naruto shouted angrily as she looked around for the target. She didn't know what hussy meant, but it sounded as bad as a pervert. She was about to attack the fox when she felt someone grap her overall straps.

"You," Ino coldly replied as she hauled the other blonde over.

"Me?! I'm not a hussy," Naruto cried as she grasped Ino's arms and tried to pull them off.

"Explain why you have boys following you everywhere you go then,"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Naruto said as she opened her mouth wide and prepared to chomp down on one of the hands holding her.

She never had a chance to bite before Ino shook her vigorously before hauling her aside with one hand. "There," Ino shouted.

Naruto slowly turned her head to see where Ino was pointing and shrieked. She immediately leapt at Ino for support.

Peering out of a nearby alleyway, Kiba and Lee were grinning and waving sheepishly at being spotted. Gaara stood behind them, with an emotionless look on his face. In the blink of an eye they disappeared around the corner.

"Get off!" Ino shouted as she struggled to pry the girl off.

"How long have they been following me?!" Naruto demanded as she clung fearfully to the taller blonde, almost like an octopus. She had a wild look on her face when she turned to Shikamaru for an answer.

"I saw them when Ino dragged you into her house," Shikamaru helpfully supplied.

"We've been following you for a lot longer actually," Kiba volunteered as he stepped out from behind them. "At least a weak now," he said as he pulled out several pictures. A few had Naruto in a wedding dress. Another few had Naruto appear from around a corner with a small bundle in her hands. Another subset had her walking back out in a patrolling fox costume...

Naruto suddenly stopped looking at the images to swing around and hide behind Ino when Gaara and Lee decided to appear from behind Kiba.

"Can't breathe," Ino gasped.

"Naruto, you're killing her," Shikamaru calmly said.

Naruto wasn't listening, instead she was shouting "Why? Why?!" into Ino's back.

Every single boy chose that moment to look away, with the exception of Gaara.

Ino was turning purple.

"Hahaha, I see. Brat, they're interested in you," Kyuubi said as she pantomimed lots of kissing and hugging to emphasize her point.

Gaara gave a slight nod as he took a fearless step forward, "What she said." he neutrally said.

Ino found herself on the ground right after. She immediately took a deep breath.

"Nooooo!" Naruto shrieked as she disappeared in the distance.

"We are, Gaara-san?" Lee curiously asked.

"...Yes," the redheaded boy neutrally replied.

Inwardly, Shikamaru was wondering why he wanted to ask the blond girl for a raise in his allowance. It's not like Naruto was his mother.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto soon found herself in front of the Hokage. After relaying her plight, she was given a brief no.

"Baachan!"

"No brat." Tsunade said without looking up.

"Please!" that made Tsunade pause in her writing. "Hokage-sama," the girl begged.

The Fifth looked up curiously at the blond girl. "You must really be desperate."

"I am!"

"My answer is still 'no'." Tsunade said as she returned to the paperwork.

Naruto hung her head and left the room. It wasn't her fault she lost the cap.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto quickly shoved several boxers into her travel pack.

She didn't care if the Hokage said no, she was packing and leaving Konoha.

Picking up the travel pack after throwing in a few cups of ramen, closing it, and mounting a sleeping bag on top, she ran for the door.

-o-o-o-o-o-

And with that, Naruto snuck past the gates of Konoha on her way to freedom.

The 8 hidden shadows minus one chose the following moment to reveal themselves. And when they did, they exchanged confused looks with each other when they realized that they were not alone. They wordlessly turned and started to follow the blonde.

"I'm not going to let you pass," growled a voice from behind them.

The entire group turned as one to the new voice.

It was dark, so they could not tell. But it appeared to belong to a redheaded man with a whip in one hand.

They chose to ignore him and continue forward. They had the advantage of numbers.

Except there were now two standing in front of them. Hiashi and Hinata.

"Where's Hanabi?" Hinata demanded.

The group turned to the shortest one, only to discover that she wasn't there anymore.

"..." none of them, Kyuubi included, knew what to say.

Hinata mistook their silence. "So you refuse to answer?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

There was a shout as Chouji was suddenly restrained by Shikamaru's shadow.

Hinata took that as her cue. "Very well then, I will make you answer," the white-eyed girl determinedly shouted as she charged.

Hiashi passed his daughter almost immediately. Jounins are like that. Extending his palm, he struck her intended target first.

Gaara flew back and landed heavily on the ground. There were no followup attacks as his sand immediately leapt up to protect him from further harm.

"Let us go, Kiba!" Lee called out. Kiba nodded. They both turned and prepared to run after Naruto.

As Shikamaru slowly led Chouji away from the battlefield, Kiba and Lee took a step forward, only to stumble and back up when Kyuubi suddenly appeared in front of them.

"I take my promises seriously, brats," the fox growled as he bared his fangs. With both hands, he shoved them back before he turned and ran after a white-haired man that was currently making a run for it.

That was a strong push! Falling upon their backside, the two slid a meter back before they rolled to their feet. They tried to chase after Naruto again.

They didn't go far before something struck them hard from behind, causing the two to fly forward.

"Hinata! Wait!" Kiba shouted when he saw who it was.

"Where is Hanabi?" Hinata demanded, her Byakugan giving her a menacing look in the darkness.

"She's probably following Naruto!" Kiba shouted back as he hurriedly backed up. The rough bark of a tree soon impeded his escape.

Hinata stopped advancing to look up her father.

"Where did Naruto-kun go?" she demanded looking down at them once again.

Lee wordlessly pointed in the right direction.

Hiashi and Hinata turned and started to run off. Only to be knocked aside when Kyuubi blindsided them. Getting to their feet, the two Hyuugas and the fox faced off.

A large shadow suddenly blocked out the moon.

Lee and Kiba barely had time to realize that this shadow was not natural before the tidal wave of sand swept them away.

Lee dug his way out of the sand in a heartbeat and running toward Gaara an instant later.

"Gaara-san! Stop!" Lee shouted when a wave knocked him back.

However, Gaara wasn't going to stop with a single wave of sand. A second wave immediately sprung up to follow the first. And then a third, and a fourth. Gaara's grin grew as an eerie laugh emanated from his lips.

Coughing, Lee struggled against the waves crashing upon him. For every step forward that he took, he was knocked back two. But that wasn't going to stop him. In fact...

"Uwoah! I shall break through this moving wall of sand in one minute! And if I can't do that, I shall try to jump over each wave until I reach Gaara-san! And if I can't do that, I shall run against these waves for 2 hours. And..." Lee determinedly shouted as he charged forward, his energy renewed.

Meanwhile, Kiba finally dug himself out with a gasp. Pulling his weakened body out, he soon found himself rolling limply down the hill of sand and straight toward the red-haired man. A sandaled foot stepped on him, stopping his roll.

Kiba suddenly grunted when he was suddenly used as a launch pad...the man wasn't light.

Since Kyuubi was currently high in the air, the reaching palms of the Hyuugas struck nothing. Right when he reached the apex of his jump, he suddenly flickered out of view.

And ended up behind Hiashi. The white-eyed man turned around just in time to prevent himself from being knocked unconscious.

Hinata slowly approached the red-haired man from behind in an attempt to flank him.

Meanwhile, Kiba was painfully pushing himself off of the ground and to his feet. A body suddenly flew over his head, missing him by scant centimeters.

It was Hinata. And she was off of the ground and on her feet in mere moments. She glared at Kiba.

"You are here to keep us from taking Hanabi back aren't you?" Hinata demanded.

"No, wait!" Kiba shouted as he dodged.

He quickly swerved around a series of attacks. It was obvious that Hinata wasn't listening. "Akamaru!" Kiba shouted loudly.

There was a loud bark and a small white dog heroically appeared in the clearing. Kiba's companion quickly ran over.

Kiba gave a sigh of relief when Hinata stopped fighting and bent down to pet Akamaru.

His relief was short lived when he realized that Hinata and Akamaru were looking strangely at him.

"Hold him down Akamaru!" Hinata ordered.

"Akamaru you traitor!" Kiba cried when Akamaru's sharp teeth nipped at his pant leg. He turned and tried to run back to the gates. But a blur passed him. Turning Kiba's eyes widened when he saw that Hinata was now in front of him.

He almost didn't dodge the glowing palm strike.

"Hey hey, isn't that going a little too far Hinata?" Kiba stammered before he heard a low growl from behind him. "Dammit."

He was surrounded.

The battle was slowly winding down by now. Gaara was starting to feel exhausted. With tremendous effort, Lee finally managed to pierce Gaara's continuous waves of sand.

"I am sorry, Gaara."

Taijutsu was Gaara's weakest point, so it was easy to take down the sand genin.

"Too easy," Kyuubi said with a smirk as he finished off his knot. He had tied Hiashi to a tree with his whip as the rope. Without Hinata as backup, it had been easy to manuever around the Hyuuga Head and knock him down.

Nearby, "Agh, Akamaru!" Kiba and Hinata's fight was about to end.

Distracted by his companion biting his ankle, Kiba soon collapsed bonelessly. "I will not let you steal Hanabi away," Hinata proclaimed as she pulled back her glowing hand away.

It was time for the finals, the three remaining fighters were Kyuubi, Lee, and Hinata. Due to the lack of the prerequisite number required for a paired match, 2, it was time for the three to engage in a battle royale.

"I don't have time for this," the foxman proclaimed as he grabbed both of the tired genin and threw them into a nearby swamp.

The winner? Kyuubi.

He dashed off into the night.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto successfully escaped from Konoha's walls that night.

As for the fate of the night crowd:

Throughout the entire battle, Neji was sleeping peacefully.

Hanabi was indeed following Naruto. She had managed to sneak past without anyone's notice. Perhaps it was her age and small size. Or maybe it was her apparent exhaustion that screamed pushover. The thing is, she passed under everyone's threat radar.

If it weren't for Hiashi's and Hinata's attempt to chase after Naruto, Jiraiya would not have managed to break past. However, when faced with three people trying to pass him, Kyuubi quickly decided to let Jiraiya pass so he could stop the two with more malevolent intent.

Kyuubi tried hunting for the white-haired sennin afterwards, but Jiraiya was good at disappearing when he didn't want to be found. Especially since the pervert was a master at hiding without the need for genjutsu.

Along the way, Jiraiya picked up an exhausted white-eyed girl as he continued to track Naruto.

Hinata and Lee were finally able to crawl out of the swamp. A leaf patrol arrived right then, and with their help they returned the unconscious or sleeping people to Konoha.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Omake! Ichi!

Kyuubi sat in a bar in girl form.

"Bartender! Another round for the miss here!" a newcomer shouted as he took a seat on the stool next to her.

He was soon gaping in surprise when the woman took the large mug, and chugged the entire thing down in one gulp.

"How many has she had so far?" he asked, turning and asking an inebriated patron.

"I lost count after the first 6," was the reply.

It was cheating, her chakra burned off the liquor before it entered her system.

But she really liked the taste of liquor. And it was so easy to take advantage of these monkeys.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Omake! Ni!

Lee struck Gaara a bit too hard on the head. The next thing everyone knew, Shukaku was out and rampaging about. Everyone scattered, even Kyuubi. The fox returned moments later however, aboard a giant ship that miyahed. Yes, it was the same type of ship as the one that successfully managed to break through Jurai's space defenses and wreak havoc before slipping out again.

"Fire at will, Kyu-ohki!" Kyuubi cackled.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto Profile:
Surprisingly, Naruto wasn't very depressed this chapter. It's neat how she bounces back really quickly.

I must stress that she isn't stupid. What she did in the beginning says otherwise, but she's merely a bit out of it.

When Naruto helps out...if you ask her to choose, she tends to select things that will make her happy.

Naruto can be bossy at times, particularly when she wants something.

She trusts technology. While it can fail on you, technology will never lies to you, deceive you, nor does it glare at you. That's why she's so eager to see the newest innovations.

Naruto believes that when you marry someone, you declare your friendship to them.

Hanabi Profile:
There isn't anything significant to add other than the fact that Hanabi was too focused on the marriage problem that she completely forgot to wonder what her father would think. She was just returning home after a long day at civil service when she caught sight of Naruto sneaking away with a backpack on her back.

Why was she at civil service? The scroll that she showed Naruto was permission from Tsunade to alter the records despite her underaged status. It didn't give her the ability to circumvent red tape though. Hanabi still had a lot of forms to fill out and she waited in line for a long time.

Hanabi understands that because she's married to Naruto, Naruto is now her partner. However, when she thinks partner, she thinks of someone who will go with her on missions in the future. She has no clue that this is not marriage.

Tsunade and Shizune wanted to dress the girl when she arrived. However...well...even I don't know what Hanabi did. All I know is that she managed to freeze the two in place. When it came to the marriage issue though, Tsunade laughed wholeheartedly and then agreed. No bullying from the small girl there.

Ino Profile:
Ino...well, she's forceful. And overbearing. And if you wear bad fashion, don't expect to escape. Especially if you're a fellow blond girl. The cuts and bruises on Naruto's arms and face were the result of her epic struggle against the 'girl with a hundred arms,' Ino. Ino actually has only 2 arms, but when there's an obstacle in front of her, her determination, and an oddity where her hands are hard to grab and hold, makes it easy for her to get around the obstacle with a bit of effort. In short, it seems like she has a hundred hands to attack with. Theoretically, Ino could probably beat up a giant squid, which only has 10 large arms.

Kyuubi Profile:
Kyuubi is a master of illusions. So why can't he take on the form of a woman?

-o-o-o-o-o-

A/N: Naruto with a sword? The first thing that came to mind was that, guy or girl, she can't use it very well. The second thing that came to mind was that Naruto would be like a Nodoka that I had read once who scared the hell out of her husband. To summarize, Genma didn't want to commit seppuku with his wife as a second because she was so bad with the sword that he was absolutely certain that she would would miss his neck the first time...and the second time...and the third time...and...well, it'd be a long, messy, and painful death.

A/N: Despite what you see in this chapter, I stand by my 'No Pairing' stance. You'll see why in the next and last chapter.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Acknowledgements:

Thanks to arielrocks for asking whether Kyuubi has the ability to disguise himself so that he can stalk Naruto. This is my answer.

Thanks to Ami for suggesting an orange costume for Naruto. I bring you...an orange luigi costume! Because Naruto isn't fat enough for a Mario costume.

Thanks to Andrew Joshua Talon for pointing out the redheaded lady in Lee's chapter and Kyuubi in the recent chapters. I hope this addresses the issue.

Because of you three, I was able to rapidly create this chapter despite the two term papers due in two days.

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-o-o-o-o-o-

Himitsu Omake! Ichi!

Hanabi woke up with a large yawn. She immediately realized that she wasn't on her bed or in her room.

She quickly peered outside in confusion.

"Ah!" Naruto shouted, when she saw her tent flap move. "Hanabi-chan! Good morning!" she shouted from her place by the campfire. Jiraiya sat on the other side, heartily eating his breakfast. She held out a spoonful of rice from the cooking pot. "Want some?"

Hanabi immediately hid back in the tent as she started to panic. Yesterday wasn't a dream! She really did get married without her father's permission!

But that wasn't what worried her. It was easy to fix...if she were in the village. But she wasn't in the village! And once her father found out then...then...th-

The tent was empty mere moments later, the tent flap flying outwards as Hanabi zoomed outside.

"Hana-grrk?!" Naruto was suddenly hauled up into the air by the shorter girl.

"We have to go! Now!" Hanabi shouted, her eyes wide with fear. A surprising expression on the normally reserved girl.

They heard a large tree suddenly toppled over. There was a dull roar as several more cracked and fell soon after the first one.

Then the ground shook as a particularly large tree came from the air and landed a little ways off from their campsite. It looked as tall as the Hokage tower, and a quarter the width. To see it bounce like a rubber ball...

Hanabi immediately ran off in a random direction.

The sennin and his new student wasted little time packing what they could and dashing after the fleeing girl.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A/N: In other words, I use Hanabi's sleepiness as the reason for not returning home and consulting her father on a serious matter.

No, Hiashi didn't actually start throwing trees. Who do you think he is? Superman? For the next several days though, he dogged the trio relentlessly. Because she had went against her father's wishes several times in the previous day, Hanabi was too scared to turn around and return to him. What if her father disowned her because she had disobeyed him by mistake? Yeah, this is a flaw of good girls. They don't know what will happen if they fail to live up to their parent's expectations.