Chapter 11

"Do you want something to drink? Tea?" I glanced over my shoulder at Sian as we entered my living room before skimming my gaze swiftly around the room, checking that everything was just as it was before I raced out of the house. I'd been so focused on finding Sian that I hadn't locked the door. I could just imagine having to explain that one to my Mum.

"Well see Mum what happened was, I went to London, realized I'm in love with my best friend, ran home, she followed me, kissed me in our kitchen, then she ran off, I chased her around Coronation street half naked and kissed her back.

No, no, I didn't lock the door.

Yes, yes, we were robbed.

No I don't know if they took your favourite tea towel."

Something like that anyway. Only, with more screaming.

Sian hung back just inside the door, her hands shoved deep into her jacket pockets, and I smiled at the familiar sight. It was something she did without thinking, when she was nervous or unsure, she would stick her hands in her pockets, like a protection against the world. It was also unbelievably cute. I wiped the grin from my face, deciding to keep that piece of information to myself for now.

"Er…yeah. Tea. Please." Sian nodded vigorously, her eyes shifting uneasily around the room. "Tea's good."

"Ok. Two teas. Coming up." I turned towards the kitchen, chuckling slightly at Sian's nervousness, and then swung back around with a smirk. "I don't need to lock the door, do I? Make sure you don't do another runner?"

To be honest, I was a little surprised that it wasn't me displaying all the classic signs of anxiety instead of Sian. God knows that out of the two of us, it would usually be me jittering around the room like a hopped up Tigger, not her.

Sian snorted at the joke, some of the apprehension easing from her body as she laughed and replied with a wide grin. "No. That's ok." She drew her hands out, shrugging off her jacket and settling herself in one corner of the sofa. "I'll be right here." Sian pointed down at the couch beneath her. The smile was still in place as she lifted her gaze to mine, but there was a sincerity in her eyes now, as if she wanted me to know that she wouldn't be the one to run away this time.

I'd meant it as a joke, just something to break the tension in the room, but I couldn't stop the feeling of relief that coursed through me at the knowledge. Maybe I didn't want to admit the fear, even to myself

"And I'll be right back." I matched her expression, wanting her to know that I felt that way as well, that we were in the same place.

Because, whatever this was, I was done running from it.

Been there, done that, got the ice cream headache to prove it.

Sian smile widened once again as she looked up at me from her spot on the settee, and I couldn't help but match that too.

'Come on Webster, you can't spend all night grinning at her like a goober' I thought self-consciously after a few seconds.

"Right…tea." I broke her gaze reluctantly and moved quickly to the kitchen.

I spent the next few minutes busying myself making the tea, trying not to think about how big this talk was, and how things between us would never ever be the same. If I thought about it, my brain would probably explode with the enormity of everything that had happened this weekend. So I didn't think about, I just made the tea, and if my hand started shaking so badly that the sugar bounced uncontrollably from the spoon all over the worktop, then that was because I meant for it to happen, Goddammit!

Sian was still sitting in the same place when I returned. I stopped just inside the archway to the kitchen to watch her. Her head was thrown back against the cushions, one arm thrown out carelessly across the arm of the sofa, her eyes closed peacefully. She looked so much more relaxed compared to ten minutes ago, and it was hard to believe this was the same girl who had been shuffling so hesitantly inside the doorway.

The thought struck me that she had fallen asleep, that we wouldn't get to have this conversation after all, but Sian's eyes drifted open slowly as if she sensed my presence in the room, and she smiled up at me warmly. Sian threaded her hands together and stretched her arms out in front of her with a yawn, wincing as her knuckles cracked loudly in protest.

"Sorry." She murmured self-consciously as she reached out to grasp the steaming mug of tea from my hands and placing it down on the coffee table. "Just a little tired."

I smiled in sympathy as I sat down on the opposite end of the sofa and did the same with my cup.

I grabbed a cushion and pulled it onto my lap, partly because I wanted something to occupy my hands, and partly to cover my legs that were still bare.

The move didn't go unnoticed by Sian. Her eyes swept slowly down the length of my legs and back up again, lingering torturously at the top of my thighs before flicking back up to my face.

Had she always looked at me like that? With such heat?

No, she can't have done. I would have noticed that, wouldn't I?

A flurry of images from the weekend flashed rapidly through my mind. Sian's arms wrapped around me in her room, the two of us dancing so closely in the union, her straddling my waist on her bed seconds before Dan barged into the room. I had been so caught up in trying to keep a hold of my own feelings, that I hadn't been paying attention to the fact that Sian had been looking right back at me with the same intensity.

'Oh Jesus!' How the fuckity fuck did I not notice that?

I swallowed nervously, shifting awkwardly in my seat, not knowing what to do with the surge of adrenaline I was feeling in reaction to her intense stare.

Part of me wanted to bolt. But, there had been plenty of that already this weekend. From both of us. And a bigger, less intelligent part of me wanted to jump across the settee and pounce on her, talking be damned. Talking was overrated. I could think of a thousand better things we could be doing with our mouths anyway.

My thoughts must have shown clearly on my face because Sian smiled knowingly and dropped her eyes, breaking the spell. She blew out a long breath and reached out for her drink from the table.

"Soooo…you kissed me." Sian stared down at the cup clasped between her hands, the not so innocent grin still tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Yeah well…you kissed me first." I muttered, feeling a blush prickling its way across my cheeks.

Sian glanced up at me and gave a small laugh. "I did." She paused for a second. "Is that something we do now?"

"Do you want it to be?" I answered her question with one of my own, still more than a little anxious that her answer would be no.

Sian didn't answer for a few seconds, her eyes never leaving her mug, which did nothing to calm my already jangled nerves. Eventually she put her cup back on the table and turned towards me purposefully.

My attention was drawn down to her hands, which were fidgeting nervously in her lap, her nails clicking quietly as she snapped one thumb across the other repeatedly.

Sian inhaled deeply, her clear blue eyes meeting mine intently, and I braced myself for the disappointment I was sure was coming.

"Sophie…I'm crazy about you." Sian declared openly, stealing my breath from my body in an audible whoosh.

I blinked slowly, trying to comprehend what I had just heard.

"I always have been." She continued, her eyes staring past me now, oblivious to how stunned I was. "When you were so upset yesterday and you didn't want me to touch you, I thought you'd finally figured it out, and that you didn't want anything to do with me."

I racked my brain quickly trying to think of when I'd told Sian not to touch me, it didn't seem like something I would say. Touch me more maybe, never less.

Then it came to me. Under the railway bridge.

She had grasped my face so tenderly between her hands that I was afraid that I would tell her everything. I didn't even consider how she would feel at those unthinking words. I winced as I remembered the wounded look in Sian's eyes, the way she had snatched her hands back instantly as if I'd scorched her.

'You pillock Sophie!' I chastised myself bitterly. If I'd have opened my eyes even once this weekend we could have saved ourselves a whole load of heartache.

Sian scooted towards me, reaching up with one hand to soothe her thumb over my furrowed brow. "Hey," She whispered gently. "I'm sorry. I just kind of dumped all that on you didn't I?" Her hand moved down to cup my cheek. "I promised myself I wouldn't do that. That we'd take this slowly. But I just…I thought.."

Sian sighed and moved to draw back.

"No!.." I grabbed her hand before she could pull it away. "No…" I tugged on her hand, pulling her to me and wrapping my arms around her neck.

Sian returned the hug, her arms spreading up across my back and tightening the embrace. I let myself relax, soothed by the steady sound of her breathing and taking in the light, fresh scent of her shampoo as I pressed my face into her hair.

"I'm crazy too, you know" I murmured into her ear after a few moments of comfortable silence.

Sian let out a surprised bark of laughter at my choice of words and pulled back to look at me with an amused grin. The kind that made always made my heart beat faster.

"I..I..meant about you." I stuttered, my cheeks colouring with embarrassment. I closed my eyes trying to regain some composure.

It seemed that all my ideas about Sian not affecting me so much now that I could be more open about my feelings, were complete, and utter bollocks. If anything, knowing that she felt the same about me provoked even more of a response.

I opened my eyes, meeting her gaze fully. "I'm crazy about you too." I said certainly, wanting there to be no more doubt. I cupped her cheeks with my hands, stroking the skin softly with my thumbs.

Sian let out a long slow breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them a few seconds later they were shining with unshed tears and I fell for her all over again.

I kissed her gently, putting all of my feelings into the kiss, hoping she would understand.

I pulled back with a sigh, placing one last peck on Sian's lips and rested my forehead against hers. "So…" I questioned happily, suddenly reminded of something Sian had said. "…When you said that you've always been crazy about me…you meant?"

"Always." Sian whispered, her hand grasping behind my neck and pulling my mouth to hers once more. "Always." The words breathed against my lips as she kissed me fervently, making all other thought impossible.