Chapter Eleven - Need You Now
Monday, March 14th 3:30 PM - Anders' house
Kori's POV
Broken. That's how I feel. Like apart of me is missing that I can't fully function without. It has been two weeks since Richard has said a single word to me, during which time I have lost myself in deep, empty state of depression. I don't smile anymore, don't talk unless I have to, don't hang out with my friends after school. Really I prefer being alone. I've missed five days of school in the last two weeks alone. It's just to hard to see him.
He walks around school with a fake smile on his face, which everyone else is oblivious to, but not me. I see the truth and the truth is that apart of him is hurting just as badly as I am. He has slept with at least four girls I know for a fact, but that doesn't bother me because I know the next day he won't even remember their names. He may treat me as if I am a ghost of his past, but I know for a fact that he remembers me. Rather those memories are fond or not, I don't know.
Despite him not talking to me, he has taken up for me a number of times. People have said some pretty nasty things about me, and I guess he has heard them because he blows up one whoever does. People have pretty much learned to leave me alone, for fear of him. I don't know why he sticks up for me. I like to think it's because he still loves me, but I know that isn't any more true than the smiles on his face.
Xavier has tried to cheer me up, but has failed with each attempt. I think he feels somewhat guilty, but I have assured him that none of this is his fault. It's all on me, I accept that, but it really just makes things so much harder. I know if I hadn't messed up we would still be together, so that has a way of eating at me. I find myself reminding me of that fact quite often.
I love him so much, and the fact that he acts like I no longer exist is what kills me... that and the dreams. I have found that often dream of him. It's usually things we have done together replaying themselves in my mind, but sometimes my mind makes up new scenarios. Us getting married, raising children, a vacation to a private island where it's just us, completely oblivious of the outside world. Needless to say I find myself waking up in tears quite often.
Most would assume that I can't wait to get over him, but that isn't the case. I still have hope that we will get back together. Maybe it's only a delusional fantasy with no possibility outside of my own mind, but I just have to keep hoping. Hope is the only thing that is keeping from an emotional breakdown. Have I thought about suicide? Sadly yes. Am I hurting enough to do it? Yes. Am I dumb enough? No. It scares me just to think about it.
I just keep encouraging myself with maybes. Maybe things will get better. Maybe he still loves me. Maybe we can work this out. Maybe he's thinking about right now. Maybe he is in is car, on his way here. I know it's sad, but the fact is, maybe is all I have...
Monday, March 14th 4:00 PM - Jump City Mall
Dick's POV
Another day in hell. It's the same thing everyday. I wake up, go to school, pretend to ignore Kori when she is all I really see, ignore the pain it causes me to see her hurting, find some easy girl, bring her home, have meaningless sex, send her away, cry the pain and guilt out, go to bed, do it all over again the next day. I hate this so fucking much. It's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Just to say you're not going to cry anymore is ridiculous, but I find myself doing it after every breakdown only to make another unkept promise to myself.
She's missed a lot of school lately and I find myself worrying about her all day when she doesn't show up. I just worry that she is going to do something stupid. I couldn't take if she ended up hurt or worse because of me. I would never forgive myself. I hear people call her names. Whore, slut, skank, and it pisses me off. I'm very quick to silence them. I myself have made the mistake of calling her a whore and it eats at me because it just isn't true. She didn't cheat on me. I just know it. She wouldn't do something like that, not her. She's perfect in every way, boundlessly amazing, an angle fallen to Earth.
I love her so much and it's absolutely killing me to see her like this. I haven't seen her smile in two weeks, but then again I try to avoid her as much as possible. It's not that I don't want to see her, It's just that it's so damn hard. Her eyes have no life in them when they used to exude it. Her smile is gone when it used to light up the room. Her skin is pale when is used be so golden. She's just a shell of my Kori.
My Kori... It just sounds so right. Like that's how it should be. She should be with me. We should be together, but at the same time I just can't risk my heart again The pain has just now started to dull. Don't get me wrong, it still tears me apart to even think about her, but I'm learning to suppress it better. I got pretty good at blocking out pain after the death of my parents and it's really becoming useful in this situation.
It's crazy to think that breaking up with a girl can hurt as bad as losing both parents at once, but the strange fact is that it actually hurts worse. That's just a testament to how much I loved and still love her. She was my world... still is. Maybe I'm a coward from running this, running from my feelings, but what am I supposed to do? Take her back and wait in fear for the next time she breaks my heart? I just... I just can't. I would love to think that if I did take her back that everything would go great. You know, we would live happily ever after like a fairytale, neither of us breaking the other's heart, but unfortunately I'm a realist.
I know eventually a time will come that we have a really bad argument break-up again, and I just couldn't deal with that, not a second time. So, I just have to keep pushing her and my feelings farther and farther away. From where I'm seated in the food court, I spot a blonde girl sitting by herself a few tables away. I'm sure she can help me do both.
Monday, March 14th 4:30 PM - Anders' house
Kori's POV
I lay face first on my bed, earphones in my ear, listening to music on my iPhone, something that I do with most of my time now. Music just comforts me in a strange way. Suddenly my music pauses due to an incoming call I raise my head and open my eyes to look down at my phone, finding that It's my Uncle Galfore calling, which is odd considering he is usually at work this time of day. Galfore lives in Tameran, working as a General for their army. He is a busy man and therefore, he doesn't visit often and rarely makes social calls. I guess he has some free time on his hands.
Setting up in bed, I answer the phone. "Hey, Uncle," I greet him with as much cheerfulness I can muster.
There is a pause on the other end before I hear a sigh. "Little one, I have some terrible news... There... there was a bombing today at the Tameranian Embassy..." My eyes widen in horror and a gasp escapes me. My parents work at the Embassy. Unable to find words, I just continue to listen. I hear a stifled weep escape him. "Your... your parents... they are gone."
My heart stops in my chest. "Gone?," I repeat. "What do you mean gone?," I ask even though I know.
"They... They have passed on," he clarifies, his deep voice somber.
For a moment I am utterly frozen in place, my mind repeating what he said a thousand times over as if to check and double-check that I heard him right, praying the whole time that this is a misunderstanding, but seeing that it's not, the gravity of the situation takes hold of me. "No," I cry, breaking down into a fit of tears. "No. No. No," I repeat over and over, shaking my head. How could this happen? First I lose Richard and now my parents. What have I done to deserve this? Is some unseen force trying to break me completely? Because if so, they now have succeeded. I can't take anymore.
"Little one, I promise you I'll break the rebel's backs who did this. Your parents... my brother, they shall be avenged! That I promise you," he roared, anger now fueling his voice.
I just continue to cry my eyes out, now shaking my head. I can't even comprehend the thought of my parents dead. We weren't truly close, but they have always made sure I had food, had clothes, had a roof over my head, but now they were gone... And even worse than that is I never got the chance to say goodbye, or that I loved them.
"Is your sister there?," he asks me after a long while.
"No," I whine, unable to say anymore. I have no idea where Komi is and I don't care right now. She's probably off somewhere getting high or drunk. She want care.
"I shall call her and inform her of the tragic events. Is there anyone you may stay with?," he questions. "I do not wish for you to be alone during the terrible times."
He is right. I don't need to be alone right now. I need someone... I need Richard. He may hate me, but I know he knows what I'm going through. After all he has lost both of his parents too. "Yes," I answer.
"Good. Please go there now, and I'll call you tomorrow. I pray to X'hal for you" he says before hanging up. I put my phone in my pocket before standing up from my tear soaked sheets and quickly walking over to my nightstand and opening it, to pull out a silver key, the very same one that Richard gave me for Christmas. He said if I ever needed him, he would always be there for me and I need him now. He's the only who can understand me, the only one who can make the pain dim.
clutching the key in my hand, I wipe my tear filled eyes and run out my door. I need my knight in shining armor.
Monday, March 14th 5:30 PM - Dick's house
Richar's POV
I pull into my house, the girl from the mall in my passenger seat, and I am bewildered to find Kori's SUV out front. "Kori?," I say aloud. "What is she doing here?"
"Kori?," the blonde-haired girl questions. I'm really not to sure what her name is. Kelly or Katie or Katlyn or whatever. It doesn't really matter, especially not right now.
Ignoring the girls question I get out of the car and hurriedly walk to the front door, her following behind, rambling on about who Kori was, still being ignored. I have a far bigger issue at the moment and I don't have time to listen to her. I enter my house and search the entire first floor, finding it empty, before running upstairs, the whole way wondering what Kori could possibly be doing here. My guess is it isn't good. She hasn't come to my house yet, so I know something really bad must have happened to drive her to do so.
When I open the door to my room I find her laying face first in a pillow on my bed, sobbing roughly, her body shaking badly. My heart almost instantly drops. Something is definitely wrong. "Kori, what are doing here? Why are you crying?," I question softly from the doorway.
"Who the hell is she?," the blonde girl asks, crossing her arms over her chest, only to once again be ignored.
When she hears my voice she looks up from the pillow and I can see her eyes are red from crying. "Richard," she exclaims. Darting from the bed, she runs to me, burying her face in my chest and wrapping her arms so tightly around me that I can barely breathe.
I stand stund for a moment before a overwhelming need to comfort her takes me over and I wrap my arms around her. I don't have a clue what's wrong and it doesn't matter at the moment. All that matters is that she is obviously in a undescribable amount of emotional pain and she has came to me for comfort. I stoke my hand through her red hair, slightly rocking her from side to side. "Baby, what's wrong? What happened?"
"My parents... Richard, they were killed in a bombing in Tameran," she cries, her voice muffled by my chest.
My eyes widen in horror. "No," I breathe, praying that it's not true. Now I see why she is crying so hard. I know exactly how she is feeling. I watched my parents fall to their deaths and I could describe down the smallest detail what is going through her mind right now.
"Are we doing this or not?," the girl behind me asks, sounding irritated. How could she possibly be thinking about sex when she just heard that a girl just lost both of her parents in the blink of an eye?
I turn to her, still having my arms wrapped around Kori. "Listen, you need to go," I say seriously. I don't have the time or the desire to deal with her right now. Taking care of Kori is my only concern at the moment.
"How am I supposed to leave? I rode here with you," she exclaims. This girl is really starting to piss me off.
I reach into my pocket and pull out a one hundred-dollar bill. "Call a taxi. If you didn't notice I have something far more important to take care of at the moment," I retort, handing her the money.
She grunts furiously before turning on her heals and walking out of the room and down stairs. With her gone I turn my attention back to Kori. Lifting her and allowing her to wrap her legs around me. I carry her to the bed and sit down, her sitting in my lap, while I kick off my shoes. Once that is accomplished, I pull the covers back and lay her down, which is a difficult task considering she is clinging to me... not that I mind. Once I have her laying in the bed, I lay down beside her, pulling her as close as possible with one hand, while I pull the covers over us with my other.
Once situated, I gently start to rock her. "Shh, I know it hurts. I've been there."
"I never got to say good-bye. I never got to tell them I love them," She sobs into my chest.
"I know baby, but trust me, they know you loved them. They wouldn't want you to hurt like this. I'll do whatever I can to make you feel better," I whisper comfortingly into her ear as I run a hand up down her back, while she uses my other one as a pillow.
"Just hold me," she requests.
"I got you. I want let go," I continue to whisper soothingly to her. Though I'm not the cause of her pain for once, it hurts me no less to see her cry. She is everything to me and I hate to see her hurting so visibly. If there was anything I could do to make the pain go away I would do it without a second's thought. The next two hours I lay there trying to do my best to comfort her. She eventually cries herself to sleep, but I don't dare move and inch. I just continue to lay there and hold her tightly to me.
Listening to her snore softly for a moment, I say what I never could if she were awake. "I love you, Kori. I love you so much. I know it hurts now, but it will get better and I won't leave your side until it does," I slowly inch forward and plant a soft kiss on her lips, hoping it'll ease the nightmares I know from experience she is having. Feeling her grip on me tighten, I lean my forehead against hers and shut my own eyes, sleep eventually taking me as well.
Tuesday, March 14th 8:00 AM - Dick's house
Kori's POV
The instant my eyes open, the events of yesterday come flooding back into my memory. I am terribly sad, but nowhere near as much as I was yesterday. Richard was so nice to me, holding me the entire night, comforting me with soft words and soothing whispers. I know he cares about me, or at the very least, he understands my situation. I become aware that he is no longer in the bed beside me, but now sitting on the edge behind me, his hands running up and down my arm, which sends chills down my spine.
I roll over to face him, and he smiles sadly down at me. "Hey beautiful, I made you breakfast."
My eyes begin to water for reasons I'm not even sure of. I think it has more to do with how Richard is treating me rather than my parents' death. "Thank you for this, for everything."
"Of course. When I gave you that key, I meant what I said. I'll always be here when you need me," he says softly, his eyes showing sympathy.
"So, you don't hate me?," I ask hopefully.
"I have never hated you, I never could." He leans down and kisses my forehead and I fight the urge to raise my head and take his lips in my own. There just so warm and soft, so much comfort in them. "I called the school and explained what happened, and that we both would be out for a while."
"Both of us?," I ask, blinking my eyes.
"You need me and I'm going to be here for you every step of the way. I refuse to leave your side," he says, leaving no room for argument.
I just smile and set up in bed to hug him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his lap. With everything that is wrong, this is the only thing that feels right, the only thing that brings me anything even close to happiness. I close my eyes a lay my head on his shoulder, enjoying his hand gliding up and down my back.
"I hope you don't mind, but I called everyone and informed them of what happened. They'll be here as soon as school is over, even Xavier," he says after a while.
I raise my head in surprise. "You're going to let Xavier into your house?"
He sighs before shrugging. "He was jut as surprised as you, but he needs to be here. You need all the support you can get right now and regardless of my feelings towards him, I know he cares about you. This is about making you happy again, and I'll do anything for that."
I cup his cheek with my hand, allowing my emotions to overtake me. "You make me happy."
He studies me a moment, our lips slowly nearing each others, and right when I think he is about to kiss me, he drops his eyes and moves back. "How about breakfast?"
I just sigh and nod. It's going to take time, I know that, but this is a start. Maybe through the darkness of this tragedy there will be a sliver lining. That's all I can hope for. With intertwined fingers Richard leads me from the room, but my mind is focused on the battle ahead. I know I have hell coming.
Kori just can't catch a break. Next chapter: Xavier and Richard have a conversation, Kori wakes up in the middle of the night in tears and Richard comforts her the best he can, and Kori and Richard make a decision before he leaves for the summer.