Hanley

by NibelungVelocity

Amano Hanley wasn't quite normal, true, but she was sure she had never done anything to deserve near death and a strange adventure in another world. Begins ten years before Luffy leaves Fuusha Village. New chapter: Grand Line.

11. Coulrophobia

Okay, here is the next chapter! It took a bit longer than I thought—but in my defense, this is also the longest chapter I have written, at a whopping thirty-six pages if my Open Office is to be trusted :). So, at least you have something to sink your teeth into...right? Right?

As always, I thank everyone who has reviewed/favorited/alerted me over the past few months. I can't tell you enough how much it means to me to see tangible evidence that people are really enjoying what I write. I enjoy responding and writing for you guys, if you'll allow me to be sappy for a bit.

Special thanks to Spellcaster Hikaru for helping me out and taking the time to read it through before posting!

Hanley

Chapter Eight: A Slight Case of Coulrophobia

**********

Krut Hanley

"Rokushiki, the six powers, are that...um, which surpasses common human movement. The ability to break through the limitations placed upon the world of Illusions—only those...shit, can't read that, so skip ahead, skip ahead...Soru, to use leg strength explosive enough to seemingly cause one's body to disappear. Geppou, to kick on the air to float; Shigan, to pierce the body like an arrow; Kami-e, to move with the ease of paper; Rankyaku, to move fast enough to create slicing winds; Tekkai, to turn the body into an iron carapice...um, can't read that so skip ahead, skip ahead..."

Zoro cracked open an eye. "How's that training going? You're skipping quite a bit."

"Shut your hole, Roronoa, before I stick something in it and force you."

"...That wasn't intentional, was it--"

"No, that was a psychological slip that I don't even want to explore, so shut up."

If Hanley thought she was in cramped quarters before, she didn't know how lucky she had it. Two people in a dinghy that size pushed the boundaries of comfort, but three broke through them completely. She spent the night sandwiched between the two of them, which was all kinds of annoying (Luffy moved a lot and Zoro's elbow kept digging into her side, for starters). It was enough to make Hanley seriously start scheming to steal a ship. She was at the point she honestly didn't care if it was piloted by nuns and carrying poor, beleaguered orphans—the next ship they came across, they were fucking stealing it.

Still, nonexistent personal space aside, Hanley was just relieved that they were on their way again, provided they didn't run into another random whirlpool in the middle of the ocean. She stretched her legs as best she could and continued unraveling the techniques in the scroll. It wasn't going very well, and Hanley really wondered if her grandfather was right in handing it over. Why the hell did he wait until now, anyway? She guessed that he must have taught her the basics already; otherwise, her training would probably be an effort in futility. That still left her with bringing it all together, though.

It didn't help that Zoro found her frustration somewhat amusing.

'At least he has some sense of humor...even if it comes from a shriveled, black heart.'

At the end of the day, though, she really did like their new crew mate. He was sensible in a way Luffy wasn't, and that made things slightly easier. Hanley wouldn't go so far to say that they were polar opposites—really, it was more like they were complimentary. Similar enough so that the two of them got along very well, but different to the point that her sanity had a chance of surviving the voyage. It was very heartening.

Hanley had to keep herself from fretting too much over Zoro, though. He slept quite a bit. At first she thought it was boredom, but then she wondered if he was somehow diseased. Wasn't there some sort of sleeping sickness?

"Oi," Zoro spoke up after several moments of silence. Hanley looked up in surprise. He didn't seem to be the type for idle conversation (to be honest, she talked and muttered to herself enough for all three of them).

"Yeah, what is it?"

"What are you supposed to be anyway?" Zoro asked. It was probably for lack of something else to do on the cramped dinghy. He had been sleeping for the majority of their trip, but now it appeared he was going to remain awake for longer than ten minutes this time.

"Me?" Hanley scratched her chin, still a little surprised. "Nothing, really. Just a snake."

"A snake? I never head of that before. I figured you were a mermaid or something."

"Don't mermaids have tails and live underwater?"

Zoro shrugged. "It's not like I've ever seen one. It could be a lot of trouble—you stick out."

"Says the man with green hair, three swords, and a reputation?" Zoro only grunted in response, leaving her unable to tell if he agreed with her or not. Hanley shrugged and lightly tapped a scale on her knee.

"Besides," she continued, "I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to stick out no matter what I do, so I may as well do what I want. As the other solution would be to cover up my entire body as if I was ashamed of myself, I'd prefer the notoriety."

"Point."

Luffy groaned and slumped across Hanley, looking so pathetic it was all she could do not to coo at him. He had been unusually sedate so far. She quickly placed the scroll back into its container before it got damaged. She'll look at her grandfather's enigmatic crap later.

"Ugh, I'm so hungry," he complained, sticking out his tongue. Ah, that explained it...starvation.

"It's funny that neither of you have any navigation skills." Zoro somehow slumped down even further onto the deck, looking vaguely irritated.

Hanley gave him a half-hearted glare. "I don't see you getting us to land, Mr. Zoro." She got a small hint of amusement at the way he twitched when she said that. "Damn, if those Marines hadn't chased us out we could've gotten some food. But no...I should have taken more crap if I knew this was going to happen."

"'Sides, you wander like us, right, capturing hunted pirates for rewards," added Luffy.

Zoro yawned and idly leaned his head upon his hand.

"I don't remember me saying that I live completely off of rewards."

'Sure, but how much do you wanna bet that's how it turned out?'

"I was searching for a man," he continued, "that's why I left to the sea. But now, I can't find my way home."

"This may come as a surprise, but that's the definition of lost," said Hanley.

"Shut up! You're the ones who're lost!"

"And you're with us, idiot, what does that fucking tell you??"

Zoro rolled his eyes and ignored that remark. "Anyway, you should find a crew-mate who knows how to navigate."

"I've been telling Luffy that for years, for all the good it's done me."

Luffy nodded. "And someone who can cook, and someone who can sing--"

"Idiot!"

Then all of their stomachs grumbled and they nearly keeled over, crippled. Hanley hadn't felt this hungry since she first dropped in to One Piece, ten years ago. You never forgot something like that. She'll drag the damn boat with her teeth before she let herself get into that situation again.

Luffy tugged on her shirt. "Hanley, I really want bacon now."

"One, we don't have meat. Two, I don't have a stove up my ass, you realize."

"Yeah...hey, can you fish?"

Hanley groaned and pushed his hand away. "Again, how are we going to cook them?"

"So we eat them raw."

"Like sushi? I guess that's possible." It had crossed her mind that she could bring some fish on board, but she had been hesitant to do so for several reasons.

'This had better not be setting a precedent.'

"Fine, you useless men, I'll bring home the food," Hanley snapped, standing up and unbuckling her shorts. Zoro immediately began to wave his arms in a cease and desist motion.

"Stop, what are you doing??"

'Should I be insulted?'

"Zoro, I'm not going swimming with my clothes on. I have a bathing suit."

"Ah."

She folded up her shirt and shorts and neatly placed them aside. Good thing she decided to keep the two piece on under her clothes.

"Right, I'll be back soon." Hanley balanced on the railing before letting herself fall backwards into a dive. The moment she hit the water she headed for deep sea, wanting to get it over with already. There weren't any schools of fish in the immediate area, so she ended going further away from the boat.

'This will be fun. No one on that boat knows anything about sushi.' Well, she couldn't speak for Zoro, but she had a feeling she wasn't mistaken. She had watched her grandmother back in Japan and Master Thai prepare fish, but seeing was quite a bit different from doing. And who knows if any of the fish out here were even the right grade? Hanley was pretty sure that there was a decreased chance of parasites in saltwater fish, but it really would be just their luck that they got sick and died.

'And there's no way to wash it, and the only utensils we have are Zoro's swords, and where are we going to gut them? If it weren't for the fact that I'm starving...'

After several fruitless minutes, Hanley threw up her hands and shook her head. Of course, it would be a moot point if she couldn't find any.

'Oh come on, this is an ocean. Where the hell are they?' Hanley's eyes narrowed in annoyance and she looked up to check her position with the boat.

Only, it wasn't there any more.

Hanley panicked for a moment before she finally spotted something moving quickly in the distance.

'What the--??' Hanley angrily kicked off and sped after the boat, steadily gaining on it. 'What the hell is going on up there?'

When she was close enough, Hanley put on a burst of speed and leaped out of the water. She spotted Zoro rowing as if his life depended on it, and three men from who knows where, but Luffy was nowhere to be found.

Gravity caught up to her and Hanley fell back into the water. She kicked up and broke the surface again, but this time she grabbed the boat and hung on for dear life.

"Where's Luffy??"

"He tried to catch a bird and got eaten!" Zoro answered, keeping his eyes focused on the sky.

"WHAT??? Where is he?? I'll fucking kill him!"

"That guy's a lot of trouble."

"You think??" Hanley grumbled and she slid back on deck. She glanced over at their new guests. The three men looked pretty swarthy, possibly from a pirate crew if she wanted to be stereotypical about it. Hanley quickly dismissed them as harmless and was about to check on Luffy's position when one of the men all but shoved a short sword in her face.

"Hey, stop the boat!" He ordered, with his two buddies flanking him. "This is the pirate Buggy-sama's territory."

Hanley and Zoro looked at each other.

"Hey, give me a second," Hanley said.

"Sure thing."

"Unless you want to me to slit this woman's throat--" Hanley grabbed his wrist and sent her free fist crashing into his face. She grabbed the other two by their hair and slammed their heads together.

"What are you going to do with this woman's throat?" She ground their skulls together, sneering.

It took a moment for them to answer, but when they did they were very cowed. "N-Nothing!"

"Oh, well, that's what I thought."

Zoro cursed and checked the sky.

"I lost him."

Hanley bared her teeth and glared furiously at the men.

"Did you hear that?"

"Please don't hurt us!" What a set of weaklings. Hanley huffed and dropped them.

Zoro smirked. "Maybe we won't. Your next course of action decides that. Start rowing and we might have some mercy."

"Dammit, they made us lose Luffy, Zoro! Let me just toss them overboard."

"D-Did you say Zoro? Pirate Hunter Zoro??" cried the one with the cap, looking horrified.

Zoro smirked. "That's right, now start rowing."

"Y-Yes, sir!"

"We had no idea you were 'Pirate Hunter Zoro'! And we're very sorry, Miss..." groveled the man with the weird hair style. His cronies were rowing as if their lives depended on it.

Hanley ran her fingers through her hair and settled beside her crew mate.

"This is bullshit. Weren't you watching him?"

"Hey, don't blame me for this."

"I guess not. Still, this has to be the weirdest thing..." Hanley directed her attention to their slave labor. "But let me make one thing clear you three: if something so much as scratches Luffy I'll hold you personally responsible, am I clear?"

"Yes, ma'am!" It wasn't enough to soothe her temper, but she forced herself not to take it out on them physically. Hanley tried not to think about the bird eating him...or that he dropped into the ocean and drowned while they were wandering around like a group of jackasses.

Hanley grit her teeth and tapped her nails against the rail of the dinghy.

'We haven't even been out here for a week! I know piracy is dangerous, but this is fucking stupid! I'm so damn pissed right now I could scream!'

It took her several moments, but Hanley was finally able to cool off enough so that she was able to talk somewhat civilly.

"Bastards. Why the hell were you in the ocean, anyway?" Naturally, her civil still included the odd profanity or five.

"Yes, yes, good question!" Cap Man said, rubbing his hands together in a show of humility. It only left her thoroughly unimpressed.

Weird Hair shook his fist angrily. "That girl!"

"Yeah, a bad girl!"

"But she's real cute, too!" Unibrow added. He gave her a look, "Although, miss, you're very nice yourself--"

"Die!" Hanley literally snarled at him. The man with the unibrow flinched back, but he still had a look on his face she didn't really appreciate.

"A-Anyway, the three of us just finished robbing a ship, and on the way back we saw a little boat out on the water. There was a girl slumped over the side." Hanley sighed and shared another look with Zoro. They knew where this was going.

Weird Hair picked up the tale. "At first, we thought she was really dying. She said she was in a ship wreck and asked us for some water and a bit of bread. 'Course, we were very, very concerned for her. She offered us some treasure to pay us back, but when we went over to inspect it, she stole our boat!"

"And the weirdest thing happened. She predicted a storm would come up and sink our boat. Sure as I'm sittin' here, it came true! It sunk the boat and we were stranded. It was horrible."

Hanley raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, sure, I care."

"But a girl that can predict the weather? She must be something special. I wonder if she'd join us," Zoro said, scratching his chin thoughtfully. Hanley brightened and slapped his shoulder.

"Ooh, you're right! Luffy better find her for me!"

"...That's still disturbing, you know."

"Do you think she can navigate? Because then it'll be perfect."

"Extremely disturbing."

"It doesn't matter. If I find that wench, I'm gonna kill her." Weird Hair was scowling furiously. The other two nodded in agreement, although they looked hesitant. Finally Unibrow spoke what was on their minds.

"Still, we can't go back empty-handed. Buggy-sama will..."

"Buggy?" Zoro asked, "Who's Buggy?"

"He's our pirate leader. Haven't you ever heard of 'Buggy the Clown'? He's a dangerous man who ate one of the Akuma no Mi."

Hanley frowned thoughtfully. 'Buggy the Clown. Are you serious? How am I supposed to take that as a threat? Well, he did eat a Devil's Fruit. I wonder what kind.'

"Oh, this is so bad!" Cap Man moaned, "We're in deep trouble!" He pulled at his hat dramatically while his cohorts sobbed.

Zoro was a man of no pity, however. "Not nearly as deep as the trouble you'll find yourself in if our friend can't be found. Keep rowing!"

"Yessir!"

Hanley leaned back and worried her thumb nail. Dammit, Hanuman!

*

The trip didn't take that long, actually, about half an hour at most. Seeing as Luffy had been carried to who knows where, the only thing Hanley and Zoro could do was allow the men to take them to their current base. The three men pulled up to a fairly large harbor and quickly clambered out. One look from Zoro prevented their prisoners from running off.

"We're here, Master Zoro, Mistress Hanley!"

"Mistress? I don't know if I like the sound of that, but oh well," Hanley remarked as she tied the laces on her new boots. She grinned and shook her foot. They weren't that heavy and they fit fine. It would do until she got something she preferred. Hanley stepped onto the pier and looked around. She was beginning to think East Blue was filled with nothing but towns. This one reminded her a lot of Eagle's Peak, from the design of the houses to the wide, open streets. Unlike Shell Town, this place was far more affluent, with paved roads and the average house being much larger in size. There was even a fountain a short distance away. While it made for a very lovely picture, there was currently only one small sailing craft tied up to the dock, and the town itself it was completely empty and devoid of any activity from what she could see. It may as well have been a ghost town.

'I'm also beginning to think the Marines are fucking lazy. Isn't an empty town suspicious in the least?'

Hanley noticed one of the men was watching her and placed her hands on her hips.

"Hey, what's going on, here?" she asked Unibrow. He smiled at her and she barely kept from shuddering. Apparently, he was the type that liked getting abused.

"Well, y'see Mistress," arg, that sounded really wrong! "Our Buggy Fleet is here at the moment, raiding this village."

"I see..." Hanley waited for Zoro to make his way onto the pier. He was looking around as well, left hand placed on the hilt of one of his swords. "Well, Mr. Zoro are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"We better go see this Buggy for information," Zoro confirmed. Hanley nodded. At this point there was little else they could do.

"D'you think these idiots will lead us to him?"

"We can always force them. Or, you can ask your willing servant--"

Hanley could feel her upper lip begin to curl upward, and it was all she could do to keep from making such an ugly expression. "You're not funny."

"Never claimed to be."

"Death awaits you."

Hanley couldn't keep from baring her teeth and sighed. This is not what she signed up for. It's a good thing her grandfather wasn't here to see this.

"Hey, generic pirate number three, can you take us to Buggy?"

Once he realized that she was referring to him, Unibrow eagerly nodded his head, looking more than ready to please. Hanley silently prayed that the rest of her life wouldn't be filled with these awkward, traumatizing moments, but given her track record, she had some doubts.

'Looks like there are all sorts of men in the world.'

Cap Man looked nervous, but his fear for hers and Zoro's wrath seemed to have won out.

"Buggy-sama must be at the headquarters right now, we should--"

The relative peace was shattered by a near deafening explosion. Hanley's first thoughts were that they were under attack, or that a bomb went off. The row of houses to their left were utterly annihilated, and they had to duck and raise their arms to protect themselves from the flying debris. It was over just as suddenly as it happened, and the mess left behind looked devastating. The once sturdy looking homes and stores were reduced to smoking timber and stone. The air was filled with smoke and a nasty, acrid scent that she couldn't quite identify. Hanley slowly and shakily got to her feet, very disturbed. Perhaps Buggy the Clown wasn't such a joke after all.

Before she even had the opportunity to freak out, Hanley was forced to focus her attention on Unibrow when he lunged for her and grabbed her legs.

"What the hell was that??" Zoro roared when the ringing in their ears had faded to the point where he could be heard.

"Please turn back, Mistress! That was Buggy-sama's Special Cannon Ball! He must be really angry!"

Hanley snarled and tried to pry the man off. "Special Cannon Ball?? And get the fuck off me!" She finally managed to punt him to the side and staggered backwards before he got the idea to repeat the performance. The other men from Buggy's crew were in similar states of distress. They absolutely refused to go any further.

"It can destroy a town this size in one shot, no way we're going back empty handed when he's in that kind of mood!" Weird Hair was so upset he was shaking.

"We'll have to follow the path of destruction, then," Zoro sighed as he moved forward.

In the wrong direction.

Hanley raised an eyebrow and checked where the cannon ball had demolished a row of houses, just to make sure she hadn't gone blind or delusional. Nope, he was somehow going in the wrong direction. She had no clue how that was even humanly possible.

"You have to be fucking kidding me." Hanley rolled her eyes. "Zoro! It's this way!" She even waved her arms and pointed.

"She's right, you know," Unibrow added.

"Yeah, agreeing with me won't get you into my shorts, you realize."

Zoro scowled and tapped the hilts of his swords. "If you say so. You better not be leading us in the wrong direction."

'God. I want a girl so bad and I don't care how that sounds!'

"I'm sure I can follow a fucking path. But if you start running in odd directions I'll carry you again." Hanley approached the wreckage and turned inland. In the far distance she could make out a large building at the end of the destruction. That looked to be a good place to start.

Hanley smiled. "Try to keep up."

"That's my line."

**********

Nami

Nami had been in the business of thievery and the like for several years now, but this was the first time she seriously feared for her life. Not that there wasn't a constant threat of death, even if she didn't put herself at risk on a regular basis. Still, Nami had always been confident in her wits and the predictability of sea-faring brutes. While their reasons were incomprehensible, you could always count on pirates to be dishonest, selfish, and greedy, so it was really nothing to plan accordingly. Unfortunately, she was now in a place where no amount of intelligence could get her out of. Nami honestly felt like kicking herself. She always made absolutely sure she never plotted herself into a corner, yet here she was.

She couldn't stop shaking.

It was difficult to describe just how she was feeling at that moment. Buggy's crew was an oppressive, murderous force behind her, growing and calling for blood as each second passed. Time was running short; yet, the only thing she could do was shake. The straw hat idiot sat before her, staring at her expectantly with wide-eyed...what could it really be called? Innocence? The thought that a pirate, any pirate, could be innocent was hilarious in and of itself; however, Nami couldn't shake the notion that that was in the eyes that stared at her. He hadn't really done anything, had he? What if he was just some stupid kid mouthing off? It wouldn't be the first time.

To ensure that she was successful, she had to do a lot of things she wasn't proud of. Sometimes, she really wondered if she was being hypocritical.

'But if I let myself get killed here Kokoyashi will be doomed. But I can't be a murderer, I'm not like them!' Nami played a dangerous game and it appears to have finally caught up with her.

The men behind her were becoming increasingly rowdy. So far, luckily, they mistook her hesitance for feminine flightiness (which was also insulting, who could ever be that stupid, male or female?). Nami was sure the matchbox in her hand was going to slip right out of her nerveless fingers when the boy in front of her began to speak.

"Your hand is shaking. That's no good, y'know. There's an oath that a pirate swears by, and you lack the strength to see it through."

Nami clenched her hands into fists in a futile attempt to keep him from seeing her tremble. For some reason, she felt a little ashamed of that. Why shouldn't she be afraid for her life? She had a village to save, and even then, there was nothing wrong with self-preservation.

"Strong oath, hm? And what would that be, coming from some pirate?" Her anger and disgust had returned at that point, and it was easier to look him in the eye. "Is it killing innocent people like insects? Is that the pirates' oath?"

The boy simply smiled at her, and for a moment Nami wondered if he was being deliberately mocking.

"No, it's not. It's the idea of being strong enough to risk your life! Can you do that?"

'Strong enough to risk my life? What does he know, I do that everyday! Every second I spend under Arlong's thumb I'm risking my life! I...this situation isn't any different! Don't look down on me!'

Finally, one of the men roughly snatched the box of matches from her hand. He struck the match and bent down to light the fuse.

"Stop wasting your time, new kid. You have to put the fire just against the cannon fuse and light it, see?" His back was to her, leaving him wide open. If she didn't do anything, it would be just as if she lit the fuse herself!

Nami grit her teeth and whipped out the three pieces to her staff. Her arms moved as if they had a life all on their own, snapping the pieces together and bringing the staff down on the unsuspecting goon's head. He crumpled to the ground and didn't move. Even though it only took one blow, the adrenalin had her gasping for breath and her blood was pounding in her ears.

Almost immediately, the mob turned vicious behind her. Nami couldn't turn around, not wanting to face them.

'Crap, I didn't even realize what I was doing!'

Buggy was practically beside himself, and Nami barely managed to get through her fear to focus on his words.

"Nami, you idiot! What the hell do you think you're doing?? I actually gave you the honor of lighting the cannon's fuse because you're my crew member!"

"Oh, you're saving me now? How weird," the boy commented, seemingly unaware of what was about to happen. Nami wanted to strike him, too.

"You idiot, shut up! I—I didn't save you for that reason! Even though I was acting, I didn't want to become an evil pirate!" Because the line was dangerously thin already. "Pirates stole the life of someone precious to me, I hate them more than anything!"

"Ah...so that's why you hate pirates." He paused, then screamed. "The fuse is still burning! Dammit, I'm gonna die!" He began to chew on the bars in desperation, even though he didn't have nearly enough time to escape. Nami looked down, horrified to see that the bastard still managed to light the fuse.

'No! I was too slow! Was it all for nothing??'

Buggy gesticulated wildly, his face coming close to matching his nose in color.

"So much for your people-playing skills, you bitch! Kill her, painfully!"

Nami was sweating profusely, trying to come up with a solution that would get her out of this alive. Fighting her way out was out of the question, but she had a chance of defending herself if she ignored the lit fuse.

Which would promptly defeat the purpose of her risking her life.

Not only Buggy, there was an entire crew of angry murderers about to bear down on her. Her hands tightened on her staff, wondering if she was just delaying the inevitable. Once they took her out, the kid was still going to get blasted into pieces! It was all so frustrating!

Nami desperately swung her staff at the first wave of attackers, but they dodged so easily it was laughable.

"I can't die this way!" her victim screamed behind her. Nami threw her staff aside and dove for the cannon. In desperation, she wrapped her hands around the fuse, snuffing out the flame. If nothing else, she wouldn't be the direct cause of his demise.

'This was supposed to be simple! Bellemere!' Nami thought as she cried out in pain. The heat burned her palms, but she had no time to dwell on it.

"You damn woman!" a man shouted above her. Nami looked up and shrieked when another man fell from the sky and landed in front of her. Nami didn't recognize him, although the green hair and three swords were very familiar. Whoever he was, he took one look at the situation and was quick to protect her, blocking Buggy's henchmen with the scabbards of two of his swords. The man did it with such ease Nami couldn't help but feel a little intimidated. It didn't help that he looked pretty angry when he turned in her direction.

"Stop manhandling me, you crazy woman!" Nami blinked and glanced behind her.

'What did I do to deserve this? Why are all these crazy people dropping in on me today of all days??' Nami had to assume the woman was the man's companion, from the familiar way he spoke—well, shouted—at her. The woman was easily taller than she was, probably even taller than the swordsman who saved her life. But what really made her stand out was the spattering of dark blue scales on her arms and legs. It was enough to set off several alarms in Nami's mind. 'Who is she? Is she one of them?? But Arlong couldn't have known where I'd be--' It was pretty paranoid of her, but she didn't live this long not to consider every possibility.

The woman wasn't intimidated by the man's glares at all; in fact, it looked as if they riled her up even more.

"Don't yell at me, Zoro! I wouldn't have had to throw you if you were capable of following a straight fucking path. Are you serious?? What is up with you??"

"You were going the wrong way!"

"Obviously not since I was the one that got you up here!! I'm starting to think you were dropped on your head as an infant!"

"And I'm starting to think you have some sort of complex!"

"Hi guys! Can you get me out, now?" The boy interrupted cheerfully, as if they weren't verbally flaying each other.

The two of them stared at him before sighing.

"Monkey D. Luffy." The woman squatted so she was able to look into the cage. Nami couldn't see her face very well, but the kid cringed a little at the tone before pouting.

"Aw, Hanley, what'd I do? You only say my name like that when I do something."

"For all the good that does me! Idiot! Why did you grab that bird??"

"Oh, is that all? I told you I was hungry and you were really slow like usual."

Hanley's lips thinned and she suddenly reached through the bars and grabbed his shoulder in a tight grip.

"Repeat that."

"Um, sorry?"

"You're learning, how nice. Now, tell me who did this to you so I can grind their bones to make my bread."

Nami heard Zoro sigh. "She definitely has a complex." He straighted and walked towards her. "Hey, you're not hurt, are you?"

"I'm...I'm okay," answered Nami, still trembling slightly. Somehow, against all odds, they were saved. She didn't really believe in a god but this was definitely a situation where some sort of thanks was in order.

The woman named Hanley slapped the iron top of the cage, face dark.

"I'm so fucking angry right now! I'll just beat them all up, hm? Is there one you want me to rip apart in particular? I can't forgive this."

Luffy (so that was his name, odd) only laughed, apparently finding her bloodthirstiness amusing.

"You worry too much!"

'He better not tell her who was the one that got him put into that cage in the first place!' Nami thought.

Meanwhile, the mere mention of Zoro's name had the pirates muttering nervously amongst themselves. It was also enough to jog her own memories of him. "Pirate Hunter" Roronoa Zoro, a powerful bounty swordsman that made his living off imprisoning famous pirates. Why was someone like that with this kid, a professed pirate? It made little sense!

Buggy looked Zoro over, thinking over the recent turn of events. He was no longer screaming for her blood, now that there was a genuine threat in front of him. He crossed his arms and chuckled.

"You're definitely Zoro. Are you aiming for my head?"

"No, I've no interest in that," Zoro replied, even going so far as to turn his back to him. "I'm no longer a pirate hunter because I have quit."

Hanley looked as if she didn't care for that at all. She made a face and leaned against the iron cage.

"Zoro, what are you saying? I don't really care if they're raiding this place or not, but they tried to blast Hanuman to pieces! We should break some bones at least!"

"Then you do something about it," Zoro shrugged, looking unconcerned.

"Tch! Like I need your help anyway. Once I'm done, I can carry you to safety, handsome."

"Do you know how creepy you can be??"

Luffy didn't appear to hear their conversation at all. "Hanley, get me out already!"

"Don't worry, I'll help you, Hanuman. It's a shame they didn't try shooting you. Hey, maybe for your next trick you can try stopping a cannonball."

"Heh, maybe!"

Nami stared, wide eyed, not sure if she should be surprised or just plain horrified.

'This is...the strangest thing I have seen.'

Buggy ended up being the one to break up their insane banter by drawing several knives out of his coat.

"Amusing! It's about time something amusing happened! Still, I have some interest as killing you would raise my status quite a bit."

Zoro didn't miss a beat, still looking as if he could barely be bothered with any of the nonsense going on around him.

"If you don't wanna die, then just leave me alone."

"Zoro, do you practice those kind of phrases in the mirror? You must be popular."

"Shut up, Hanley."

The pirates, on the other hand, began cheering, once more calling for blood. Nami began to inch backwards, a little too close to the conflict for her liking. Then again, that would move her closer to whatever Hanley was. Her decision was made for her when Buggy suddenly moved into action, forcing Zoro to draw his weapons.

"Fine, if that's what you want," he snapped, meeting Buggy's charge.

The scuffle lasted only for a moment, ending when Zoro's three swords sliced Buggy to pieces. Nami screamed in horror.

"Eh? What a weak guy!" Luffy exclaimed. Count on a pirate to be unmoved by slaughter, even if it was deserved. Zoro sheathed his swords and made his way over to the cage.

"Hm, he died really easily."

Hanley frowned slightly, but her attention turned to Zoro as she patted him on the arm.

"Nice going!"

"Hanley!" whined Luffy. She sighed and knelt on the rooftop.

"Hanuman, my little idiot, you're stronger than I am and made of rubber. Why couldn't you have just snapped the ropes and squeezed through the bars?"

Luffy stared, then gasped. "Oh!"

"It didn't even cross your mind??? Hold still, my god what have I done to deserve this—don't answer, Zoro." She reached through the bars and grabbed a hold of the ropes. She snapped the bindings with little effort and tugged them lose.

'Rubber? What does that mean?' Nami turned her attention back to Buggy's crew, her mind quickly turning to more important matters. 'What concerns me is those pirates. Their leader's dead but now they're laughing??'

Zoro just looked irritated with their behavior. His face looked grim, but Nami was starting to think that was simply his normal expression.

"What is so damned funny??"

"They're pretty weird." Luffy nodded in agreement. Hanley rolled her eyes and took a hold of Luffy's vest.

"Pay them no mind, Mr. Zoro. It must be the gore--" Hanley froze, and Nami suddenly realized what she was getting at. She was really off her game today—missing something so obvious was unacceptable!

'I must be stupid! There's no blood!'

"Zoro, he's not dead!"

It was too little, too late. A hand flew through the air, seemingly out of nowhere, with a dagger clutched tightly in its grasp. Zoro barely managed to avoid getting gutted through the liver, but the dagger found its way into his side regardless. He let out a strange gurgle and he fell to his knees, blood dribbling down his chin.

"Zoro!" Luffy screamed, lunging forward but was stopped by the iron bars. The laughter became even louder, unbearably so at the looks of shocks on their faces.

"Zoro, hey, hang in there!" Hanley was at his side, holding him up and pressing her hand against the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. "Shit!"

"W-What is it??" To his credit, Zoro remained relatively calm considering the nature of the attack. Even with Hanley fussing over him, he managed to turn and face the threat, sword held in a defensive position.

"The Bara Bara no Mi," Buggy said. Nami whirled around at the sound of his voice and nearly screamed again. Buggy's various body parts were twitching independently of each other, floating in the air like a demented puppet in some macabre puppet show. If she focused she could even see the bone and muscle and blood vessels between each. "That's the name of the Devil Fruit that I ate! No matter how you try to slice me up, you can't because I'm a sectioned man!"

'This can't be right, that makes no sense in the natural world! Is it magic?'

Nami shook her head. "I thought the Devil's Fruit was a myth!" Because who could believe people splitting apart and changing shape at will?

"A sectioned man?? What a monster!" Luffy exclaimed, clutching the bars of his cage. Buggy chuckled darkly and licked the blade of his dagger.

"I see I've missed your vital organs, Roronoa Zoro! But with that serious injury of yours, it's still an okay victory, wouldn't you say?" His men were quick to posture and cheer.

"Captain's so cool!"

"Go kill him off! Send 'em away!"

Nami looked back at Zoro, both in concern for his health as well as hers. He was red faced and huffing from pain, and his hand was doing little to stem the blood flow. With such a major injury, he'd bleed out in minutes.

"Dammit, I knew he had eaten some kind of Devil's Fruit...I was careless--" Zoro stopped short in surprise when Hanley ruffled his hair. Her face was stony and didn't match the light, carefree tone in her voice.

"Mr. Zoro, rest here for a bit, hm? Luffy, let me see something, okay?"

Nami herself was moments away from sinking into despair. And she was so close to getting away! She turned back to Buggy and his crew, who were already in the midst of celebrating his victory. In only a few minutes the situation reversed again. If she just sat there like a lump, they were going to get killed anyway!

"What can I do? I'm not a fighter, what can I--"

Luffy's iron cage flew over her head and slammed into Buggy with a sickening crash, sending him flying back through his makeshift throne and even the far concrete wall that surrounded the roof.

"Shut the fuck up, you classless circus rejects."

The men slowly turned and gaped at Hanley, looking torn between anger and horror. She looked furious, to the point of being wild eyed.

Nami gasped in shock. 'How did she lift it, much less throw it??'

"Who the fuck do you nitwits think you are?? How dare you do that to him?? I've never been so angry in my life!! I won't be satisfied until I've broken you all under my heel, you bastards!! Fuck you, don't overlook me, you pathetic men!!" Hanley was practically shrieking at them. "And what idiot starts cackling in the middle of a fight?? If you're going to be so goddamn stupid you deserve having your throats slit, every last one of you!!!"

"Are you insane??" Nami screamed, scrambling back so that she was behind the crazy woman. Hanley scowled at her.

"I don't know you, so butt out. If you're that scared, feel free to leave!"

'Dammit, pirates are definitely hard to understand! That's something I hate about them! I can't count on them, I better hurry and think of a way to escape!'

Zoro coughed. "Has she always been like this?"

"Like what?" Luffy scratched his head.

"Nevermind."

"Oh, we've known each other for ages. Hanley gets weird like that sometimes, don't worry about it. 'Sides, that big nosed bastard deserved it, attacking you from behind!"

"You bitch, we'll kill you first!" Nami couldn't see who shouted it, but they all shared the same sentiment as they brought their weapons to bear.

"Ha, like I'd be so weak as to get killed by such pathetic men! Go back to your mothers, you're a century too early to deal with me!"

'What does she think she's doing??'

"Hey Hanley," Luffy interrupted, "we gotta see to Zoro, so why not use that?"

"Huh, use that?..." Hanley blinked and looked at the cannon. She broke into a wide smile. "This is why we work as nakama, Hanuman!" Hanley dashed to the cannon and snatched up the box of matches off the ground. She gave the barrel of the cannon a sharp kick, somehow sending the heavy, cast iron mass up and over 180 degrees so that it faced their would-be attackers.

'What the hell—is that kid's entire crew made up of monsters??'

The men panicked once they figured out what she was going to do.

"AH!! It still has a Buggy Special Cannonball in it!!"

Hanley lit the match and put it to the fuse.

"Every last one of you, please die and go to Hell."

There was very little of the fuse left from when Nami last stopped it. The cannon went off with a deafening boom, obliterating that side of the roof and filling the area with smoke.

"I...wonder if I might have gone a little overboard." Hanley muttered.

Zoro shook his head and managed to stand shakily on his feet. His hand was pressed tightly against his wound. He was talking to her, but she had a difficult time hearing him until her ears adjusted. She finally managed to make out, "This is a good time to go. Who are you, anyways?"

Nami straightened when all of their attention was now on her. Her mind was already racing as she analyzed them; after all, the only reason her life was saved was because it was related to their crew mate's. She wasn't going to trust them to be very altruistic, considering they made it clear earlier that they didn't give a damn about Buggy and his men raiding the village. But they were her best bet to getting off this island alive.

'These people are clearly dangerous, if their previous displays of strength are any indication. But, the kid won't do anything, he's not even upset that I was the one that got him into that mess in the first place. Roronoa Zoro is really strong, and he says he's quit being a pirate hunter. He doesn't have a very good reputation, regardless of his former occupation. Still, he probably won't cause any issues...but the woman clearly isn't right in the head when it comes to these two. And those scales...is she related to Arlong in some way? I don't know, I've never seen a female merperson before! I don't know enough about them...'

"I...I'm a thief," Nami finally answered, unable to think of anything else.

"And our navigator!" Luffy piped up. "See, Hanley, I told you I'd get one for you! And she's a girl, too!"

Nami choked and immediately whirled. "Is that what you meant earlier, about me being a gift?? I'm not an object, you know--"

"Hanuman, do you really mean it??" Nami took a step back when Hanley practically sparkled at her.

Luffy crossed his arms and nodded seriously. "A promise is a promise."

"Yes! What's your name? Oh, sorry about snapping at you before, I lost my head a little bit. It's the stress from looking after these two. But now with another girl things should get better!"

'A migraine...I'm getting a migraine.' Once more, she felt a keen sense of desperation and looked around for help. Her eyes landed on Zoro and he just shook his head.

"I just go along with it." So much for assistance from that quarter.

'Pirates...I don't understand them at all...'

Hanley looked relieved. "Thank goodness, now we won't wander around the sea like headless chickens. Zoro, get on my back--"

"No, I can walk."

"Just get on my back, don't be stupid."

"You're not going to carry me again, you crazy woman!"

"Why do you keep saying I'm crazy??"

"And delusional on top of it. Don't butt in by saying anything, I'll do this my own way!"

"Fine! And when you bleed out and go into shock, I'm just going to tell you that I told you so—dammit, where are you going??"

"Can we leave now?" Nami snapped. She was already running to leap onto an adjacent roof. They might be fine just standing there and waiting for Buggy's men to come back, but she certainly wasn't!

"Shishishi, we're having so many adventures already, Hanley!" Luffy laughed as he followed her.

"Oh, yes, it's so wonderful, Hanuman. Are you sure you don't need assistance, Mr. Zoro?"

"No, and stop saying 'Mister' like that, that's also disturbing."

"I'm not that creepy."

'Definitely a migraine.'

*

Zoro finally collapsed in the middle of the road. They were far away from the pub at this point, but Nami was still very much uncomfortable with being out in the open. Unfortunately, she was obviously the only that thought so, as the other people with her weren't that concerned with hiding. Hanley, for all her talk, was hovering over Zoro while Luffy examined his surroundings.

"Since everything is abandoned, let's just steal some stuff to patch you up, Zoro." Hanley lifted Zoro's shirt to examine the wound. Nami shook her head. Just like a pirate...well, Zoro did need First Aid, and fast, judging from the amount of blood he was losing.

"Oh, my poor Mr. Zoro. I just got him for Hanuman and now he's defective."

"I can still hear you, Hanley."

"And grumpy. You must not be that bad off, then."

"Dammit, I'm not grumpy."

"Hey, it's a dog!" Luffy dashed up to a store a few meters away. Indeed, there sat a small, white dog, sitting quietly in front of the building as if it were standing guard.

"Hanuman, don't mess with it! It could be diseased!" Hanley called, looking a little worried.

'Well, these pirates aren't completely carefree, at least.'

"So, Nami," Hanley said, "you have a ship, right? Please say you have a ship."

"I have a dinghy," answered Nami, raising an eyebrow when Hanley's face crumpled.

"God, I was hoping you had one. We don't have a bed and they both snore, you know."

Nami's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "Wait, what?"

Zoro lifted his head and glared.

"That should also be my line, Hanley."

"I don't snore!"

"You talk in your sleep."

"It's certainly the only way I'm going to get any intelligent conversation!"

"You!--"

'I don't want to know! They're deviants, true deviants!'

"Hanley, look at this dog! He's not moving at all. I wonder if he's dead—ARRGH!"

Hanley whirled around, already scolding before she was fully facing in his direction.

"I told you not to mess with it, Hanuman! You better not get rabies!"

Luffy managed to pry the animal off of his face and began fighting with it.

"You stupid dog, what the hell do you think you're doing??"

"Idiot, don't you understand the situation, here??" Zoro sat up and joined in yelling at the supposed captain of their crew. Nami put her face in her hands. At this rate Buggy was going to find them from the amount of noise they were making!

"Zoro collapsed again!"

"I don't have enough blood."

Nami rubbed her eyes and tried to instill some kind of order into the situation. She needed their fighting power at least. Just bear with it a little longer.

"That's enough, you three! Buggy's crew is still not defeated!" Her statement was enough to quiet them down somewhat.

"Yeah, you're right—Hanuman, stop messing with the dog!"

"He started it!"

Nami groaned and was about to try again when a man cried out from behind them.

"Oi! You people! Don't do anything to Shushu!"

"Shu-who?" Hanley asked, gaping at the stranger. Judging from the look on her face, she clearly wasn't sure what to make of the sight before her, and Nami couldn't help but agree with her. The newcomer looked...odd. It was mainly due to his snow white hair, which was in some odd short of shape that she had never seen on a human before. The man was getting on in years, short in stature with bronze armor hanging off his frame.

"Shushu. You leave him alone, y'hear?"

Zoro sat up a little straighter and asked, "Who're you, mister?"

"Boodle. I'm the village's leader, or, in other words, the chief."

Hanley bit her lip and looked off to the side; it didn't take long for her shoulders to start shaking suspiciously.

"Oh my god, his name is Boodle and his hair looks like a poodle's..." she snickered quietly. Nami quickly stepped forward before the man heard her.

"Can you help us, sir? This man is injured and..."

"Yeah, I see that," Boodle sighed, "ran into Buggy, did you?"

"How'd you know?" Luffy asked as he helped Zoro get onto his feet.

"It's a nasty wound. Come on, hurry up, it's amazing he still has blood to lose."

In end, Zoro refused to go to the shelter despite the fact the doctor was there to fix him up. No amount of nagging from Hanley could get him to budge, and Nami admitted that if this is what she dealt with on a constant basis it was no wonder Hanley wanted someone of the same sex around. Zoro went to sleep immediately, and Nami was forced to shoo Hanley back outside before she picked him up and went to the shelter anyway.

'I'm not sure why I even care, though.'

Nami nearly jumped a meter high when Hanley hand suddenly landed on her shoulder.

"Ah, sorry about that," Hanley said, looking at her in concern. Nami took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. She still wasn't sure what to make of her, yet. Other than the scales, Hanley looked completely normal. Usually you could make an educated guess on what kind fish they were, but still, there was no doubt in her mind that Hanley wasn't human.

"D-Don't worry about it." Nami had to crane her neck back to look her in the face. Now that they were this close the difference in height was all the more glaring.

'If she's with Arlong, she won't do anything. Is this his way of keeping tabs on me? Or maybe I'm too paranoid.' Arlong never made her write frequent reports of her comings and goings, but if she was on a particularly long trip, she was required to send back some word—just for insurance, he would claim. It was possible he used her most recent missive to figure out where she was and sent out someone who wouldn't immediately call attention...

Nami shook her head. "Anyway, Hanley, what is it?"

"Hn? Oh! I was wondering if you wanted to help me out with getting some food. We haven't eaten in a while."

"What? I'm not going to help you steal food!"

"I thought you said you were a thief."

"I steal from pirates, not innocent people."

Hanley blinked before her lips twitched upward. Nami wanted to know what the hell Hanley and Luffy found so amusing about her.

"Well, I hope our navigator doesn't get the idea to steal from us."

"I'm not your navigator!!"

"Oh well, I'll just have to keep an eye on you. Hanuman's a little bad at that. He's so gullible about the strangest things. You wouldn't be thinking about tricking us, would you?"

Nami grew tense.

Hanley held up her hands. "Ah, I'm not saying all this to look badass or threaten you or anything, and since you're Hanuman's gift to me," she paused to laugh a little at that, "I'm not about to refuse. But, at the same time, I have to look after him and, by association, his crew. If one of his crew mates gets the idea of causing trouble then I'll have to put them down."

'Is this genuine? I've yet to see a fishman that cares anything at all about a human. But...it's too sincere.'

"I understand. Is that all, Hanley?"

"Yup. Welcome aboard, Nami. It'll be nice having a girl around." Hanley smiled and walked down the street, presumably to look for food by herself. Nami sighed and headed back to where Boodle and Luffy were standing.

**********

Krut Hanley

"I'm getting the sinking suspicion that Nami doesn't like me," Hanley announced to the empty store. Hanley also wasn't that comfortable with breaking into someone's house, but she was too hungry to wait; on top of that, after getting kicked out of Shell Town despite everything they had done, she wasn't about to leave it up to chance at this point.

Get food whenever you can. Lesson learned again, she won't be forgetting this time.

So, she made a compromise with herself and started liberating the Grocer's of some of their food. Hanley snatched up a burlap sack and started picking out food that wouldn't go bad that quickly.

"Is it my scales? It's been a while since I've gotten such a look." Hanley briefly held out her arm, examining the row of dark blue scales that ran all the way up and into her shirt. Nami wasn't staring outright, but she had an interesting look on her face whenever she glanced over.

'We'll work it out. It's best to be patient about this.' Hanley paused when she heard a loud roar and crash in the distance before shrugging and going back to testing the ripeness of an apple. Whatever it was, Luffy will handle it.

And not only that, it was a little worrisome that Nami readily admitted she only stole from pirates. Hanley didn't like being so cynical, but that simple phrase sent up a large amount of red flags in her mind. It'd be bad if Nami decided to make off with their stuff at the worst possible time. And it'd be even worse if Hanley was forced to beat her up as a result.

Another crash, another roar. Dammit, things would happen while she was out running errands.

'Ah, I should trust Nami more, I guess. It works the other way around, too. Still, we'll definitely become nakama.' Hanley nodded decisively and picked up a bar of chocolate from the front register as she left. Chocolate was a luxury in her household and she couldn't resist.

Hanley bit into the bar and exited the store.

"This is pretty good—oh shit." A dark, thick cloud of smoke was rising in the distance, around the area where she had left the others. "That's not good at all!" Hanley stuffed the bar into her mouth. She hefted the sack onto her shoulder and raced back to the pet food store.

The Grocer's was only two streets over, so Hanley reached the area in no time. By that time, the fire had burned completely out, leaving only one of the buildings in a crumbled ruin. The dog was sitting in front of the smoldering mess as Nami and the Mayor looked on. Hanley stepped out of the alleyway, catching sight of her husband making his way up the street.

'I...think I missed something.'

"Hi, Hanley!" he greeted cheerfully. One hand was stuffed deep into his pocket, while the other held a chewed up cardboard box that had seen better days.

"Yo. It looks like someone had a good time around here."

"Typical," Nami interrupted darkly. Hanley's eyebrows raised at the tone of her voice. She sounded as if she was moments away from blowing her top.

"You wanna say something, Nami?"

Nami didn't answer her directly, choosing to address Luffy instead.

"Welcome back, Mr. Pirate. I see that you're still alive. I thought you would have finally been finished off by that lion."

Boodle jumped. "What are you saying??"

"Lion? What lion?" asked Hanley, looking around. "They're taking that circus motif a bit too far, aren't they?"

"And I see you've gotten your share of these people's food!" Nami continued, voice steadily rising in pitch and volume. Hanley was openly staring at her now, not sure why Nami was yelling at them over...whatever it was she was yelling about. Was it about that store? Hanley held up a hand.

"I told you I was hungry, Nami."

Luffy heard the magic word and was practically all over her the next second.

"Alright, Hanley got food!"

Apparently, their attitudes were enough to send Nami over the top, to the point where Boodle had to physically restrain her from charging at them.

'What the fuck? What the hell did I miss??'

"Before you get your pirate pals over to raid this village, why don't you just go to hell?? Can't you stop??"

"One," Hanley began, "there's not exactly anything here worth raiding. I gave up finding a suitable ship here the second I landed."

"How dare!!--"

"Two, I'm not sure what's more surprising: the fact that you're yelling at us over something we didn't do, or that you actually think you can hurt us."

"I'm glad we got such a funny navigator, Hanley!" Luffy stuck his tongue out at Nami.

"W-What did you say?? You wanna fight??" Nami cried, lunging forward. "Stupid pirates!!"

"I still have no idea what you're going on about, you know," Hanley pointed out.

"I'll be right back, Hanley," Luffy said as he walked forward, ignoring Nami's cries. When he reached Shushu, he put the box down before him. It was enough to get Nami to calm down, and even the mayor looked surprised.

At that point, Hanley simply gave up trying to figure out what was going on. It was probably something heart wrenching and important to the plot.

'When it's all said and done, this place is still a manga, isn't it? Dramatization and all.'

Luffy plopped down onto the street and crossed his legs. He smiled widely and nodded toward the crooked box.

"That's the only one I could bring back! The rest was eaten up, if you can believe me!"

Obviously, the dog couldn't reply, but as he didn't move Luffy continued.

"It was admirable, you fought well! Er, not that I saw it, but I basically know what happened!" A moment passed before the dog picked up the box and began to leave the area. He paused to give Luffy a respectful nod and barked.

Luffy replied, "Yeah, you're strong, too!"

'He can't possibly understand that dog.'

Shushu picked up the box of pet food and turned down the side alley. Hanley approached Luffy and lightly nudged his head with her knee.

"Why is it that the second I turn my head you get yourself into a situation?"

Luffy shrugged and leaned back against her leg. "I dunno!" They fell silent when they saw Nami approaching them. She looked vaguely sheepish as she held up her hand.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you both," she apologized.

Luffy hopped to his feet and brushed the dirt off his shorts.

"It's okay. You lost someone important to you because of pirates. You've been through a lot, haven't you?"

Hanley cocked her head to the side. "You lost someone to pirates, Nami? Is that why you steal from them?"

"Mostly," Nami hedged, but was cut off when Boodle let out an angry roar.

Well, it was probably supposed to be a roar, at any rate.

"I can't stand it anymore!!" Boodle raised his arms and yelled to the sky.

Hanley coughed. "Oh my god, Hanuman, the old man's lost it."

"D'you think we should put him to bed?" Luffy frowned thoughtfully.

"What do you mean, sir?" Nami asked, far more polite than either of them at the moment. Boodle bent his head and shook it, as if to clear it. His entire body was so tense Hanley was surprised his muscles didn't just snap apart like a string pulled too taunt.

"It's just so miserable! Shushu and you young people are fighting like this, but...why is it that I, being the village chief, can only watch helplessly??"

Hanley stepped forward, worried he was about to run off and do something very, very stupid.

"Wait a minute, Boodle-san, calm down. I don't want to sound mean, but you don't stand a chance against Buggy."

"Why?? Because I'm too old? I'm too weak and feeble??"

"...Honestly? Yes. He'll snap you like a twig and, frankly, I don't want to see that."

"Please, Chief, you have to calm down!" Nami added, placing her hands on his shoulders. Boodle snorted and shrugged the both of them off.

"To a real man, there are some fights that cannot be avoided! Isn't that right, kid??"

Luffy gave his signature grin, and Hanley knew it was a lost cause.

Hanley looked at Nami, looking throughly exasperated. "Do you see why I wanted a girl on the crew?"

"I'm starting to understand," came the dry reply.

"That's right, mister!" Luffy cried, pumping his fist.

"Don't encourage him!!" Hanley and Nami screamed. If Boodle ran off on his own and got himself killed it'd be on their heads, dammit! Then again, it was just like Luffy to be so careless about such things.

"No, he's right," Boodle began, crossing his arms and sighing heavily. He was looking off into the distance, as if seeing something there that no one else could. "Forty years ago, this land was just a barren wasteland. From there, we built everything from scratch as a fresh start. Our old village was razed to the ground by pirates, and we had no where else to go." Boodle paused and smiled sadly as he reminisced. The three of them were quiet as he poured out his heart.

Boodle continued, "At first, it was tiny and only had a few houses. But, the population slowly grew and the houses slowly grew. Then we added stores and tried our best to make a new homeland. And now look! Now it's a successful harbor village! This place was built by the old people, it's the village we made! This village and its villagers are my treasure! What kind of chief doesn't protect his own village?? I'm going to fight!!"

Hanley pursed her lips looked to the side. Damn, that was actually moving...but, still, as nice and heroic as his intentions were, he would only be throwing his life away.

"Look, Boodle-san--"

A familiar earth-shattering boom filled the air seconds before the row of houses before them exploded in a shower of debris. Hanley dropped the sack and quickly yanked Nami back before a flying piece of timber took her head off.

Boodle turned to where the cannon shot originated. "Damn, even my house!!!"

"Zoro was sleeping in there!!" Luffy screamed. Once Luffy's words sank in Hanley promptly had a heart attack. She raced forward to what remained of the Chief's house and began digging in the debris.

"Zoro?? Zoro, hey!! Are you still alive??"

"Yeah," he answered from somewhere to her right. He was sitting on the ground, amongst what was left of the bed they left him on. He was rubbing his head, still half asleep and obviously very irritated. Somehow, someway, he didn't have a scratch on him. It was so mind boggling Hanley thought she was imagining him at first. She cleared her throat and tried speaking.

"Bad wake up call, huh?" she croaked.

"Yeah, it sucked." He grumbled, scratching at the bandages on his chest.

"And...just how was it that you survived?" Nami squeaked.

"What was that anyway? A cannon—ack!!"

Hanley wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug. "You're such a sturdy guy! I'm so glad!"

"You're about to kill me, woman! Stop that, I'm clearly alive!" He growled when Hanley roughly rubbed his skull with the knuckles on her hand.

"I guess you're not defective after all!"

"You're disturbing! There's a name for women like you!"

"Ha, and what would that be? Lighten up, a kid like you shouldn't be so serious all the time."

"You're only a year older, don't call me kid!"

Boodle's cry of anguish interrupted their squabble.

"It feels as though my chest is being scraped out!" He slapped his armored torso for emphasis.

"Oh, it's probably a heart attack--" Luffy started before Nami slapped his head.

"Idiot, don't say things like that!"

"I don't care how weak or old you think I am! Do you honestly think I'll allow pirates to trample all over us again?? That Buggy bastard, he has absolutely no right to trample over forty years! I am the chief!" Boodle raised his arms to the sky, as if invoking some kind of deity. His face was turning increasingly red from his fervor. "I won't leave and let this village be treated this way!"

"...Um." Hanley commented. Boodle took the spear from his back and started running down the street towards the pub.

"I'm going to fight!"

Nami managed to grab him and hold him back. "Chief, wait! It's too reckless--"

"I know!" Boodle sobbed. "I know it's reckless! I know you're right! I know I'll probably be killed!" He pulled himself out of Nami's grasp and continued down the street.

"You just wait, Buggy the Clown!"

"The chief was crying..." Nami whispered. Luffy adjusted his hat and shrugged.

"Oh really? I didn't see anything."

Hanley huffed in amusement. For some reason, the entire situation made her think of her grandfather. She wondered if this was why he insisted she join Luffy's crew. She probably wouldn't have had this much excitement traveling by herself as a law abiding citizen.

'I suppose this is how life is outside of Eagle's Peak and Fuschia Village...is this why, Master Thai? Still, things are now coming to a head.'

"For some reason, this is starting to feel more fun," Zoro said, practically grinning. Hanley nodded in agreement while Luffy laughed.

"I agree!"

"How can you still laugh??" Nami demanded, glaring at all of them. Hanley looked at her in slight confusion, not sure what the problem was this time. Sure, it was a little morbid, but it wasn't that hard to understand.

Luffy waved his hand and turned in the direction where Boodle took off.

"Don't worry, I like that old man! I'm not going to let him die!"

Hanley sighed. "Aw man, looks like we're going to do the Marines' job again. Eh, I still have to kick their asses for what they did."

Zoro gave her a look. "You really know how to hold a grudge."

"Hey now! You were the one that was stabbed!" Zoro grunted and got to his feet. He placed a hand on his wound.

"It's no good staying angry like that. It's a learning experience. I know better now, that's all."

"...I'm still going to break them into little pieces."

"I don't even know why I bother."

"I don't understand you people!" Nami threw up her hands in exasperation. "How can you still laugh in this kind of situation? Where the hell does your confidence come from?"

"That sounds familiar..." Hanley muttered, stroking her chin thoughtfully.

"Our destination is the Grand Line," answered Luffy. He held out his hand to her, "We're going to steal that map again. Come on! You need it too, don't you?"

Nami looked down at the proffered hand. Instead of shaking it, she lightly slapped their palms together in a high-five.

"I'm not going to become a pirate. Instead, let's just say we're cooperating, helping each other achieve our goals."

"That's an interesting choice of words, Nami." Hanley picked up her sack and gave her a pointed look. Nami pressed her lips together and glared back, leaving Luffy and Zoro to stare blankly at the sudden tension in the air.

"I don't get girls."

"They're weird."

Nami and Hanley were quick to turn on them. "Shut up, you two!"

Zoro picked up his swords and fit them securely into his haramaki. The bandages wrapped around his torso provided enough support to keep him somewhat fluid in movement, but to Hanley it was all too obvious that he was favoring his injured side.

'Now I'm going to worry myself to distraction. How inconsiderate of him.'

Zoro just continued on as if he was never stabbed in the first place, despite the fact he should have bled out and died before they even managed to bandage him up.

"Whatever it is, let's just go before we're too late to save the geezer."

Nami scowled at him. "You're going too? What about your stomach injury??"

"It's all healed."

Hanley had to admit that as much as she liked the guy, that had to be one the stupidest things she had ever heard. She scoffed and turned to their new navigator.

"Is he serious? Tell me this man isn't serious."

"I wish I could. Doesn't he realize the trouble he'll cause if he aggravates the wound?" Nami shook her head, rolling her eyes at the blatant recklessness.

"And what if he actually gets in the way? But he doesn't care about that, does he?"

Luffy beamed. "Oh, now they're getting along!"

"To gang up on me. That figures." Zoro grumbled. He untied the black bandanna around his bicep and tied it securely to his head.

"The injury to my body is nothing compared to the injury my name took when all I did was get hurt. Should we go, Captain?"

"Yeah, let's go!" Luffy emphasized his order by cracking his knuckles. Nami groaned softly and put her hand to her head.

"I'm dumbfounded."

Hanley nodded. "Oh, it gets better."

"You're not that different yourself, you know."

Hanley's jaw dropped in horror.

Luffy called back to her when he saw that she was frozen on the spot.

"Hanley, you're falling behind again! Don't be so slow—but don't lose the food, either!"

"Hush up, Hanuman! N-Nami, what do you mean by that? I'm not like that, really!"

Nami blinked. "Oh, I must have misunderstood the situation."

"Yes, thank you--"

"It's denial, isn't it?" she asked Zoro who nodded. Hanley sniffed and lightly kicked the ground with the toe of her boot. She picked up her pace to catch up to them.

'What does she know anyway?...'

When they arrived back at the pub, it was nearly too late for Boodle. Luffy moved forward quickly and wrenched Buggy's hand off the poor man's neck. Boodle fell to his knees, gasping for breath around the blood in his mouth.

Hanley scowled at the sight before pointing to Buggy.

"Hey! I see you're still alive! Congratulations on surviving!"

Buggy snarled. It wasn't a very good look for him, considering the large nose.

"You crazy bitch! I see you come without a single trace of fear! You morons, you're all dead!"

"Listen, I don't care whether you fight or not, you guys do as you wish. I'm just here for the map and the treasure," Nami reminded them.

"We know, we know." Zoro roughly jerked his head aside, cracking his neck.

"All of you," Boodle interrupted, "what did you come back here for? You four just stay out of this! This is my war!! I must protect this village, don't interfere!"

Hanley winced. "Guys, what should we do about him? Tie him or--"

Luffy punched Boodle in the face, sending him flying back into a building. He slumped to the ground and remained motionless.

"--or punch him in the face. Why not do that? Nothing morally shady about attacking senior citizens at all." Hanley slapped Luffy on the head. "Be more gentle!"

Luffy rubbed his head and grumbled. "But you always hit hard..."

"Then stop asking for it!"

"Deviants." Nami muttered. Then she went back tot he matter at hand. "Idiot! What the hell was that for?? Why did you do that to the chief??"

"He'll just get in the way otherwise. Better to have him unconscious. It's more harsh but safer." Zoro explained patiently.

"Don't do anything unnecessary!"

Luffy nodded. "Okay!" He took a deep breath and began shouted, "Hey, you huge, red, ugly Big Nose!!"

'Oh Hanuman, you just had to go there.'

"Fire the Buggy Special Cannonball! FIRE!!" Buggy roared, so furious that Hanley could even make out the veins popping out on his forehead. The crew fired yet another shot, this time heading right for them. Nami screamed and began running to the side. Zoro started to move but quickly turned back.

"Oi, you two, dodge it!"

Hanley sighed and gave her husband a look. "Hanuman, did you plan this? Should I be impressed or horrified?"

"Hehe, both! Hey, Big Nose! Do you think a cannonball will make me move a single inch? Gomu Gomu no Ballon!"

Hanley jumped to the side to give him the room he needed. Luffy took a deep breath and inflated his body to monstrous proportions. The cannonball struck his torso a moment later, sinking into his gut and eventually coming to a stop.

"What is that kid??" screamed Buggy as Luffy sent the cannoball flying right back where it came from. This time, the entire building fell victim to the explosion. It was so bad Hanley wondered if anyone managed to get out of that alive.

"You could have mentioned something sooner," Zoro said, irritated.

"Hanley was the one that suggested it." Luffy deflated back to his normal size.

Hanley coughed. "Um, you do know that I was joking, right?"

"You were??"

"My god..." Hanley rubbed her face with her free hand.

"Oh well, it worked out great! Their numbers decreased, shall we start??"

"GOD..."

"What the hell are you??" Nami shouted from her position on the ground. She had slumped to the pavement when she realized there was no way to dodge the cannonball and had yet to stand.

"Still, Hanuman, I wanted to exact my revenge properly!" Hanley reminded him.

"Oh, sorry, Hanley! I'll try to remember next time."

"I doubt you will."

Nami interrupted them and marched up to Luffy, nearly hysterical. "Enough, you two! Luffy, explain yourself! I don't understand this at all! From the moment you fought with the lion and came back alive! That isn't humanly possible! How the hell did you just swell up like a balloon??"

"Oh, that's right, you still don't know!" Hanley said.

"Know what??"

Luffy just looked amused by Nami's behavior. "Gomu Gomu no Balloon--"

"I didn't ask for the name, you monster!"

"Hahaha! You're chatting around, making a lotta noise, like you're not scared..." Buggy's voice came from the smoke. As visibility increased, Hanley could see that he was still standing amongst the rubble and his fallen crew mates, shielding himself with two of his men. Beside him was another member of Buggy's fleet, a slender man with dark greenish hair that covered half of his face and a checkered scarf around his neck. Instead of a human, he had done the same as his captain and shielded himself with a lion. It was probably the same one Luffy had defeated earlier.

"They used their crew members as shields!" Nami exclaimed.

Hanley frowned in confusion. "Wait, that makes no sense. The momentum from the cannonball should have still gone right through! They're flesh and bone, not metal. Not to mention that simply holding a person in front of you shouldn't keep you from being scorched and concussed from the resulting explosion—and weren't they on the roof? If they didn't get hurt from the debris or the fall, why would they still hold their crew members like that...are they posing? Are they trying to look cool or something? Because this is--"

"Hanley, what are you even talking about?" Zoro stopped her rant short.

"You know what? I don't know. I can run up walls and crush boulders with my bare hands, should I even care anymore?"

Buggy growled and released his hold on his meat shields. They fell to the ground in a heap.

"You bitch, stop running your mouth! I haven't forgotten about what you did!"

"Then come get me—I'm in a bad enough mood as it is!"

Buggy roared and held out his arm. "Cannon!" His hand shot from his arm and headed toward her with incredible speed. Hanley immediately shifted her weight to the balls of her feet to dodge, but Luffy's hand suddenly reached out and snatched the hand in midair.

"Oi, bastard, your fight is with me."

"How admirable that you're protecting your woman," Buggy hissed, straining as he tried to pull his hand from Luffy's iron-like grip, "but you should let her take responsibility, punk!"

"Hanley did that because of me, so I'm taking responsibility."

Hanley laughed in delight. Sometimes, he could be a really cool kid. Of course, those moments would happen more frequently if he wasn't so ridiculous the majority of the time.

"Oh Hanuman, you cut such a heroic figure! I'm getting the vapors from simply watching!"

Luffy snickered and let the hand go, watching it as it flew back to its owner.

"I know you can beat him up, but let me make up for earlier, okay?"

Buggy's remaining crewman turned to his captain.

"This is the biggest humiliation we've ever received under our flag, Captain!"

Buggy reattached his limb and fumed. "I'm so mad, words fail me..."

Suddenly, a broken wooden beam shifted behind the two and another man crawled from the wreckage. Hanley took one look at his hair and decided she wouldn't even touch that one. He rubbed his head and looked around.

"Dammit, I was unconscious! What is this mess?"

"Oh, Mohji, so you're still alive..." commented the man with the lion. Mohji, apparently, took one look at the scene and his face twisted in anger.

"Cabaji! What have you done to Richie??"

Cabaji gave him a disdainful look and tossed the lion to the side.

"Ah, this kitten? I was afraid my clothes might get a little dirty, so I just used him as a shield."

"Which is still fucking impossible..." Hanley muttered, stopping when Nami shushed her.

Mohji ran forward and gently shook his partner.

"Richie, are you okay??" Richie slowly came to, but he quickly jumped behind a slab of concrete, shivering from terror.

Hanley shook her head in dismay. "That is one of the weirdest fucking things I've seen."

"No kidding." Zoro agreed. Mohji finally noticed them standing there, and he screamed in surprise.

"Ah, the kid in the straw hat! Captain Buggy, be careful of that kid! He's also one who gained powers from the Devil's Fruit! He's a Rubber-Man!"

Nami gasped. "Rubber man??" Luffy nodded and stretched his cheeks to demonstrate. Hanley was just glad she finally got to the point where she could look at it and not think about how gross it was.

"Devil's Fruit! So that's why he could bounce back the Buggy Special..." Buggy said thoughtfully. "But, Mohji, if you knew that already...why didn't you say so??" Buggy used one of his detached hands to grab Mohji by the front of his shirt. He sent the hapless man flying right towards their group.

Mohji screamed. "Get out of the way!"

"So that was the guy who attacked you, Hanuman?" Hanley asked, setting the sack aside and moving forward.

"Yup, him and his lion. They were easy, though."

"Be that as it may..." Hanley held up her right palm, catching Mohji's head and stopping him cold. She grimaced when she felt the cartilage in his nose shift under her palm, breaking from the force. She was going to have to get used to it. His body continued forward, swinging as she firmly gripped his entire head. "You know I don't like it when people pick on you. I worry. Zoro, too! I feel responsible, you know." She tossed Mohji to the side and through the brick wall of a building.

"You're showing more concern for me than my mother." Zoro unsheathed his swords in preparation for the next battle. Hanley stared at him, eyes wide.

"Oh Zoro, your mother? Was she bad?" Zoro's expression went blank before his eyes grew wide and his mouth twisted in horror. His face became borderline comical as he realized he quite possibly made it worse.

He coughed and turned. "Try to control your complex, Hanley."

Luffy laughed. "I know Hanley, sorry. Well, the fight's begun!" The moment he said that, Cabaji hopped on a unicycle and sped towards the group, sword held tightly in his right hand.

"Buggy's pirate fleet's Commander, Cabaji the Acrobat! I'll avenge the pain you've caused to my crew!"

'Wow, it really is a circus.' Then she started in alarm when he put on a sudden burst of speed, crossing the distance far more quickly than she thought he would. Luffy noticed the same thing, and began to dive to the side when Zoro got in between them and blocked Cabaji's sword with his own.

"If it's swords, I'm all for it." Zoro seemed to hold Cabaji at bay easily, but Hanley knew he must be hurting. Cabaji smirked and nodded his head.

"It's an honor, Roronoa Zoro. As a swordsman I get to slay you."

In a startling move, Luffy tried to intervene, stating that Zoro needed the rest. It seemed his supposed carelessness only stretched as far as his nakama's well-being. It didn't completely surprise Hanley as he'd always been like that, but sometimes she just forgot he was capable of it. Unfortunately, Cabaji didn't give them a lot of time to make any real decisions, as he suddenly breathed fire in Zoro's face, sending him reeling backward. The diversion allowed Cabaji to race forward and send the point of his boot into the exact spot Buggy stabbed earlier. Zoro's pained scream echoed throughout the town square. He fell to the ground, nearly writhing in agony and clutching his side. His blood was quickly staining the bandages and haramaki red.

"Zoro!" Luffy took a step forward when Zoro held up his arm.

"Dammit, stay back, he's mine!"

Luffy growled and paused, while Nami gesticulated angrily.

"You dirty bastard! Aiming to the wounded area!"

Cabaji ignored her, already moving to his next technique. He stabbed the tip of his sword into the pavement and spun his sword, sending up a cloud of dust.

"Acrobat technique! Murder Mist Trick!"

Zoro grunted and sat up, sweat pouring down his face.

"Some trick, it's just a cloud of--" Zoro contradicted his own statement as he quickly brought up two of his swords to block Cabaji's sudden attack. The blow jarred his wound even more.

'How does he even have any blood left?? Dammit, Zoro!' Hanley hesitated and glanced at Luffy.

"He said he'll take care of it, Hanley." Luffy didn't even have to look at her to know what she was thinking. Hanley sighed in frustration. They must have known each other too long and well if he was able to do that.

Cabaji chuckled and once again kicked Zoro in his injured side. Zoro was sent rolling along the street until he came to an agonizing stop.

"That bastard did it again!" Nami cried angrily. Hanly hissed.

"Unfortunately, that's how it goes in a fight. If you're alive in the end, then the methods are hard to dispute."

"How can you say that??"

"My master is one such person. He's the sort of man that will attack from the sky with no warning and go straight for your spine." Hanley tugged Luffy's hair. "Hanuman, is this what you want? We can gang up on him easily."

Cabaji, meanwhile, shouldered his blade and laughed.

"What's wrong? A grown man rolling around and crying out loud is absolutely pathetic to watch."

"...I'm this close to snapping that freak in half." Luffy didn't answer, and Hanley sighed. "Ah, it's like that...well, alright." Maybe Zoro wasn't in as much trouble as she thought?

Nami wasn't ready to concede the point that lightly, however.

"Fighting with that injury was already too much from the start! Why are you watching all silent and stony-faced?? That's guy's gonna die!"

Luffy still didn't answer, although Zoro did it for him by quickly leaping forward and knocking Cabaji clear off his unicycle and onto the ground.

"You annoying bastard, do you find tearing up my wound that much fun??"

Hanley cheered. "Alright Mr. Zoro, you're as sturdy as ever!" Zoro grinned and turned his sword.

Then he cut himself across his wound.

Hanley's jaw nearly dislocated itself when it dropped from shock. The self-mutilation brought Luffy right out of his apparent apathy.

Cabaji wasn't in better shape. "He cut himself!"

Zoro took a deep breath and placed his final katana in his mouth. He held out his sword toward Cabaji, taunting him.

"My goal is to become the world's greatest swordsman. Is my condition satisfying enough for you? Lemme teach you the difference in level between us."

"So cool, Zoro!" Luffy threw up his hands in excitement.

Hanley wasn't in nearly as good a mood.

"Idiot! What the fuck do you think you're doing?? Now look at your wound! I have half a mind to finish you off myself!"

Zoro jumped in surprise. "You're missing the point--"

"And what was it? Self mutilation?? You don't have the leeway to look cool when you're bleeding all over the place! Hurry up and kill him off so I can scold you properly!"

"Are you serious??"

Cabaji grit his teeth and raised his blade, pride clearly stung.

"Zoro, you impudent fool!"

"Ha, you only have the right to say that to me after I'm dead!" He was now losing blood faster than ever.

"Should I make him see a therapist?..." Hanley muttered, tapping her chin. Then again, where was she going to find one? And Zoro wouldn't go anyway, short of tying him up and dragging him.

Nami looked squeamish. "Just looking at him makes me feel like he's going to collapse any second."

"Looking at him makes me feel like he's going to die at any second."

Luffy wasn't paying either of them very much attention; he was too busy cheering as if he were on the sidelines of a football game.

'This is ridiculous. Between the three of us we could have taken them both down by now. Am I the only one who thinks that?' Hanley looked around. 'Probably.'

"To anyone who calls himself a swordsman," Zoro continued, undeterred, "I won't allow myself to lose to him."

Cabaji gave an unattractive snort. "You got a strong determination there. But don't worry, fighting me with such a serious injury, you can use that as an excuse when I defeat you." Zoro surprised him by laughing and adopting an odd stance, holding his arms straight out with the swords in both hands facing downward.

"Nonsense! With this sort of injury, if I lose against the likes of you, my future carries an obvious fate."

"You asshole..."

Nami made her move then, grabbing Luffy's attention by tapping his shoulder.

"Hey, behind the destroyed pub there's a warehouse. Their treasure is there. The Grand Line map is probably still with Buggy. Since the pirates are still unconscious, I'll use the moment to slip over there. After I acquire the warehouse's treasure, I'll make my escape. After all, whether you win the fight or not has nothing to do with me." Nami began making her way toward the side alley. She paused and pointed at them. "But if you actually manage to fulfill your part and get the map, let's 'cooperate' again when that happens!"

"Actually, I have a better idea," Hanley suddenly said, the beginnings of a plan forming in her mind. "We're not quite done here, yet. I'll go with you."

"What??" Nami shrieked, jumping. Hanley smiled and put a hand on her shoulder.

"I need you to do something for me. Thanks a lot, Nami, I really appreciate it!"

"B-But--"
"Come on, come on."

"Have fun, you two! We'll meet again in a bit!" Luffy called as Hanley dragged Nami off. Nami stumbled along for a bit before finally managing to shrug her off.

"Why are you butting in? Afraid I'll run off?"

"Haha, not really. You're pretty slow and easy to follow."

"HEY!"

They reached the warehouse in good time and Hanley stopped outside, crossing her arms. The fight was still going on and in clear view in the background, which was good.

"Actually, you've been here longer and I need you to lead me to their ship."

Nami frowned slightly and tilted her head to the side.

"Their ship? You said you were looking to steal one."

"Oh, nothing like that. In any other circumstance, I would be taking it, but once Hanuman and Zoro clean up back there, I would prefer if we gave the pirates a way to leave. I don't have much faith in the Marines coming in time to subdue them if they get any ideas. Those men are way too dangerous for the villagers to handle, and they'll be even more dangerous if they were cornered." Nami stared at her in surprise and began to think about what she said.

'Is it so surprising that a pirate can be nice? The world isn't so easy that all pirates are evil people, Nami. I think you know that, though, deep down.'

Hanley continued. "I need to get to it. I know they have one here somewhere, right?"

After a few seconds, Nami finally nodded.

"Yes, you're right. It's very close, actually. There's a separate port on the west shore that's used by larger vessels and it's currently docked there. However, you have to help me carry the treasure. I can only get so much by myself."

"It's a done deal, Nami." They shook hands.

"By the way...you can tell Arlong that he doesn't have to send someone after me. I'm not about to forget our arrangement."

Hanley slowly blinked and raised an eyebrow.

"Who?"

Nami rolled her eyes as if Hanley were being deliberately obtuse.

"Arlong! You're with him, right? He sent you to check up on me."

"...Nami, who?"

Nami looked surprised and poked her arm.

"You mean you aren't with him? Even though you're a fish, er, woman?"

Hanley floundered for a moment, having never come across a situation like this. Though, should she be so surprised that mermaids actually do exist in this place?

"... ...Nami, I'm not a fish."

"What??" Hanley bristled a bit at her blatant disbelief. "But you have--"

"Oh, the scales? Well, yeah, but I'm no fish. I can't breathe underwater, for starters. Ugh, just the thought of being all slimy and having gills makes my skin crawl!" Hanley shuddered before throwing open the door to the warehouse.

"I...see. I was wrong." Nami breathed a sigh of relief.

"But Nami, who's Arlong?"

"No one."

"I'm not that fucking stupid, Nami. The way you spoke about him, that would make him some kind of employer, hm? So I'll ask you again, who's--"

"You bastard!!" Luffy's enraged scream filled the air. Hanley forgot all about her interrogation and turned back to the fight. "How dare you mess up this hat?? This is my treasure!! I will never forgive anyone who messes up this hat!!"

"I...thought that guy never got agitated at anything...!" Nami whispered.

"He normally doesn't, but Shanks' hat..." Hanley's hands clenched into fists. "I won't interfere. Nami, we have to hurry. The fight won't last much longer if Hanuman's acting like that."

Nami nodded and quickly entered the warehouse. From what Hanley could tell, it was a former holding place for the goods merchants brought in from other islands; however, that stuff was either pushed to the side or carelessly destroyed when Buggy and his crew converted it into a temporary holding area for their spoils. Hanley's eyes nearly popped out of her sockets at the sight of the gold and jewels. She could feel her mouth begin to water. If she could get some of this and exchange it, that would go a long way commissioning a ship to their tastes! And clothes! If she was able to go shopping on the budget that lay before her--

"It looks nice, doesn't it? Hurry up and start bagging it!" Nami was way ahead of, sack open and stuffing the better items into it with practiced ease.

"Yes, ma'am," Hanley answered, grabbing some loot as well. She was going to have her hands full when they got off the island! She'd find a way to make it fit in their dinghy.

Nami was already finished and waiting impatiently by the time Hanley filled her bag to her satisfaction. Her sack was slung over her shoulder and bulging with ill-begotten jewels and precious metals. Hanley had to admit Nami was stronger than she looked if she was able to haul that around; clearly, Nami was an old hand at this sort of thing. She tugged open a side door, revealing the west-side port in the distance.

'...What the fuck is that thing??'

Buggy's ship was one of the largest vessels she had seen in East Blue, including the merchant class and Marine class ships that would enter Green Harbor. It looked to be a sloop-of-war, modified to carry an even larger amount of cannons and their supplies. She could see that the gun deck was heavily armed, and the top deck was practically bursting with artillery. The man certainly liked his cannons, that was obvious. However, that wasn't really the issue. What did bother her was the aesthetic design; Hanley couldn't decide if it was simply ridiculous or disturbingly psychotic.

The main feature was the giant circus-like tent hanging from the main mast. It took up the majority of the top-deck, and the ship was further painted in bright colors, predominantly red and white, to give off the look of a large, floating circus. Even the figurehead wasn't spared, which was crafted to resemble an elephant's head with an erect trunk.

If Hanley had wanted to steal their ship before, she would have abandoned the notion then and there.

"Give me a moment, Nami, my eyeballs have just been violated and I need to recover."

Nami scoffed and headed toward the lowered gangplank.

"I know it's ugly, but whatever it is you came to do, hurry up!"

Hanley shook her head and nodded.

"Right." She cracked her knuckles and approached the vessel.

"What are you going to do anyway?"

"I'm just going to have a little fun. You're looking at Green Harbor's top salvor and ship dismantler." Hanley grinned and rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, that's what I like to think, as least..."

"So you're going to dismantle this huge thing by yourself? I thought you said you were going to give them a way out."

"And I am. I'm not about to tear it apart. It's a little bigger than I thought it would be, but it shouldn't be so hard. I'm going put some stress on the keel."

"The keel?" Nami yelped when Hanley began dragging her up the gangplank.

"If the ship were a human body, the keel would be the spine. It is the single most important part of the ship. A ship with a damaged keel isn't going to move very far, just like if your spine became damaged."

Nami smiled and stroked her chin.

"So we're talking sabotage."

"Keep a lookout while I go below deck, alright? I'll make these bastards sorry to have ever crossed my path." Locking up Luffy, stabbing Zoro—did they think she was joking when she said she wouldn't be satisfied until she made them suffer?

"You really care for them, don't you?" asked Nami. Hanley nodded.

"They're my nakama, of course I do." The fact of the matter was that Hanley never had a lot of friends. Back in Japan, that was solely her fault, and the situation didn't really improve when she started living on Eagle's Peak even though that was more due to her location and crazy schedule than any malice on her part. So, any nakama she gained now she vowed to protect. She didn't want to lose anyone else—Hanley just wished there was a way to have the best of both worlds. Impossible, but that didn't make her wish for it any less. What was she to do, if she found a way home?

Hanley found the entrance to the lower decks easily enough.

"Okay, give a scream if someone comes back. I'll come back up and help you out, okay?"

"Oh? So I'm going to get the same treatment?"

"Yup. We can be nakama, too, you know."

Nami smiled, but it was half-hearted.

"I...yeah..."

"Right, I'll be back soon." Hanley jumped down the steep stair way, using her hands and boots to slide down the railing. The ship was indeed pretty big, as there was another deck below. She slid down once more and landed neatly. Hanley had found the crew's quarters. The unlucky bastards were pretty cramped down here. Hanley moved aft towards the stern, looking for a place she could enter to reach the keel. After a moment, she found it, at the back in a storage area. Hanley formed a spear hand with her right hand and struck the wood, easily breaking through. She yanked out a few boards, keeping an ear out for trouble above. She hoped she could hear Nami if something happened.

Hanley grabbed a nearby candle and took out the box of matches she kept when she lit the Buggy Cannon earlier. After lighting the wick, she checked around the storage hold. Luckily for her this was where the tool and other building supplies were kept; she could have done it with her bare hands, but this would make the job go faster. She tucked a hammer and axe under her arm and grabbed the handle to a bucket of adhesive with her teeth. She squeezed through the small opening and landed onto the dirty wood below. Hanley wrinkled her nose but quickly went to work. With her physical prowess, she was able to use the hammer and axe to their full capacity. She worked her way up the keel quickly; it looks like her experience would come in handy after all. While she couldn't build a ship worth a damn, she knew the best spots to take them apart quickly. The adhesive served as a temporary stop gap against leaks.

Hanley wiped her forehead and sighed as she examined her work. She had noticeably altered the thick beam of lumber. She used the axe to cut long, diagonal gashes in the wood, weakening it so that the ship's own girth would ultimately be its demise. Hanley didn't want to go overboard—after all, it wouldn't do if went under too quickly. She could only hope the ship finally gave out when they were in the middle of nowhere.

Hanley couldn't help but cackle in delight.

'Wow, that was sort of fun, actually.'

*

"Nami?" Hanley called as she hoisted herself into the sunlight. She looked around in surprise when she realized the top deck was very much empty. Hanley sighed and jumped over the side of the ship. She plucked up her sack and began heading back to the demolished pub. From here, she could easily see the amount of damage Buggy and his crew caused. Half of the village was easily gone, reduced to rubble from Buggy's cannons. Hanley sighed and looked down at her bag of loot. She made a face and quickly headed back to the warehouse for an extra sack.

'Dammit. I'd feel bad it I didn't leave them something to pay for this mess...' Hanley didn't know how much the treasure went for. She never bothered to pay attention to Marxby as he appraised her findings back in Green Harbor, as she couldn't afford to be picky anyway. Instead, Hanley split it in half as best she could (she wasn't that fucking gone to leave them everything, she wanted some too, dammit). She dropped the bag in plain sight in the warehouse and exited out the side.

'Now, where on earth did she go? Didn't I tell her to keep a look out?' Hanley made her way around the warehouse and stopped short. Luffy was holding his hat and looking incredibly upset while Nami was expertly knotting up—were those body parts??

"Hey guys, what's going on?" she asked as she approached.

"Oh, there you are, Hanley! I kicked that guy's ass."

Hanley glanced once more at the pile of human limbs and parts and nodded. It certainly looked that way. She set down her loot and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Hey, you okay? I heard about Shanks' hat..."

Luffy's face fell briefly and held it up for her inspection. Hanley winced as she looked at the damage. She carefully took it from him and examined it. After a moment or two, she nodded decisively and lightly put it on his head.

"...I can fix it."

Luffy perked up and gently ran his fingers over the rim. "You can?? Really??"

"It looks bad, but the cuts are clean and very linear. It won't be hard. Not harder than what I had to do for your clothes, at any rate." Both Luffy and his brother were hard on the clothes they wore, and to make it even worse Ace was notoriously cheap and Luffy spent his money on the wrong things. Threadbare and torn clothing really rubbed her the wrong way. Ace would laugh at her about it, but...

'And now I'm thinking about him again. I swear, it's the weirdest things that make me all nostalgic...'

"Oh, you're okay, Hanley," Nami greeted as she walked up. When she saw Hanley's scowl the girl held up a hand in an attempt to pacify her.

"Ah, sorry I left you. But you could handle yourself, right--"

"Don't be ridiculous! That's why I wanted you to stay close by! If I just wanted you to be a lookout, I could have made you stay on land." Nami's jaw dropped slightly as she tried to think of something to say, but in the end she shook her head and shrugged.

"You guys are certainly the weirdest bunch of pirates I've met."

"Oh? Are we?" Meanwhile, Luffy had gone to check on Zoro who was just waking up from his nap on the pavement. Luffy knelt by his side as he managed to slowly, achingly, move into a sitting position. Nearly the entire left side of his torso was stained red; even his haramaki wasn't spared. Not that you could tell from his attitude that he was horribly wounded, of course.

"Ah...I don't think I can walk yet." He swayed slightly from dizziness and held a hand to his head.

Nami snapped, "Obviously! If you guys can still walk, then you aren't human."

"Why did you include me?" Luffy complained.

"Because you're the worst!"

"Oh...that's okay, then!"

"Isn't he cute?" Hanley asked Nami, snickering when Luffy quickly became unamused. Nami threw up her hands in exasperation. Hanley grinned and caught Luffy's attention.

"Good news, Hanuman, the food's okay."

"Yosh! And we got the Grand Line map and a navigator! This is great!...Oh, who're those guys?" Luffy pointed to the crowd of people walking up the main way, carrying a variety of homemade weapons.

"They must be the villagers. I guess they got tired of hiding and came out to fight. Guess I really underestimated them...maybe I should have sunk that eyesore of a ship."

"Huh, what ship?" Hanley didn't answer; instead, she fell silent as the villagers approached, waiting to see what would happen next.

Finally, they came close enough for one of the men to step forward. He was an average looking guy brandishing a thick, wooden stave.

"We're the people of this village," he began, confirming her earlier assessment, "did the pirates stir up a fight amongst themselves? If you know anything, please tell us."

Nami looked relieved and smiled brightly.

"Well, I think some of the pirate crew are still here. If you want us to tell you, then there isn't anything left--" She was interrupted when one of the men cried out in horror.

"The Chief!"

'Oh shit. I have a bad feeling.' Hanley slowly picked up the food and the treasure. Nami grew visibly tense beside her, clearly thinking the same thing. The villagers began crowding around the chief's unmoving form, trying to revive the poor man.

"Hanuman," Hanley began, "do me a favor and keep your mouth shut."

Luffy pouted slightly. "Huh? Why?"

"Just shut it up. For once, please don't say anything unfortunate."

"Like what?...Oh! D'you mean how I was the one that knocked the chief out?" Once again Hanley had to seriously consider getting her husband some medication. Surely there was something that could be done; no one his age could really be that oblivious. Nami wasn't nearly so forgiving or concerned, as she used her free hand to grab Luffy's vest and shake him.

"You just said it, idiot!" she shrieked as the villagers quickly turned against them. Some of the men were already pointing their spears and makeshift swords at them.

"How dare you do this to the chief; it doesn't matter what sort of excuse you give us! Who the hell are you?? Could you be pirates??"

"What should we do, Hanley? If we confirm it, it would look very bad," Nami whispered urgently. More than that, even if they did come up with something good, the fact remained they knew that Luffy assaulted the chief. They were probably screwed either way, but Hanley still had to try to salvage the situation.

Hanley nodded. "I know, let me think for a second--"

"We're pirates!" Luffy answered proudly, dashing all of her hopes.

She sighed, feeling a little drained. "--or we could just run. You got a tight grip on your treasure, right?"

Zoro burst out laughing even though the villagers started charging at them the next moment. Luffy snatched him up and took off down a side road. Nami was close behind, with Hanley hanging back to take up the rear.

'I called it. I knew this was going to happen, and I should have known better than to expect anything but trouble when Hanuman's around. Why haven't I given up after a decade? Maybe I'm masochistic? Oh god, I'm a masochist, aren't I?'

"Luffy, why the hell did you make the situation more complicated??" Nami panted as they ran. Unfortunately, the villagers blocked the direction they needed to go. They were going to have to do something about that soon. Luffy had to readjust his hold on Zoro's arm before he could answer properly.

"This is a good village!"

Hanley raised an eyebrow, easily sidestepping a stone one of the villagers threw at her head. Damn, they had projectiles, too??

"I don't follow, Hanuman, please explain."

"Well, for their chief, for just one person, they're all getting that mad!"

Hanley glanced behind her to see them waving a variety of hand axes. Angry was an understatement. And, shit, for a bunch of untrained villagers, they were certainly able to keep up pretty well! What the hell did they do, here?

"No matter what excuse they give, they'll still be mad at us!" Luffy continued. Hanley could practically hear the smile in his voice, as if the notion alone made him extremely happy. And, to be honest, it probably did. Luffy was the sort of person that could find happiness in the simplest of things. The sight of a village standing up for themselves and their leader was one such thing. It made him happy to see people becoming strong and protecting what they believed in, even if it meant attacking him.

"I see, you goof! Well, there are worse ways to live! Hey, turn down that alley up ahead! We have to double back!"

"This one?" he called back, taking a sharp right. Nami was also nimble on her feet, turning at nearly the exact same time. Hanley followed a moment later, and had to jump quickly before she ran over a small white dog.

"Hey, was that Shushu?" she yelped in surprise. Shushu bared his fangs and began barking furiously at the villagers, blocking their path. "I don't believe it!"

As they went around the corner to head back down to the south harbor, Hanley decided not to think too deeply about it. In the end, Shushu was giving them enough time to escape. The rest of their run to the main harbor was undisturbed by villagers, and it was only a couple of minutes later that they came upon their respective sailing craft. Hanley sighed in relief and headed toward their dinghy.

"Ah, I was getting worried. We just barely escaped!" Nami did look a little peaked from running throughout town lugging a heavy bag of gold and jewels. Luffy ignored that in favor of staring at her boat. It was the one Hanley noticed earlier, and it was clearly bigger than their own. Maybe Nami wouldn't mind if she rode with her? That would be so much better than before!

"It's so cool! I envy you!" Luffy cried, looking it over.

Hanley moved quickly. "I call dibs! I'm riding with Nami!"

"H-Hey!" Nami protested.

"Too late."

"Ah ha!" Cap Man shouted as he jumped up from Nami's boat, followed by Weird Hair and Unibrow.

Nami coughed. "Ah, you guys are..."

"We knew you'd come back here if—Mistress Hanley!" Unibrow cried. Hanley cringed and held up a hand.

"I told you already, stop that. What the fuck did you guys think you were doing?"

Cap Man rubbed his hands together. "Oh, and Master Zoro is also back! We were just keeping the boats safe until you came back."

"Sure. Whatever, just move aside, weaklings."

"Ma'am!"

Nami stared at her as they stowed their cargo and began making preparations to leave.

"What was that all about?"
"I'm not telling you."

"Hanley, why did he call you mistress?" Luffy looked irritated. Hanley rolled her eyes and plucked his hat off his head. "It's not like that, silly. Be careful how you arrange Zoro. I'll have to bandage him up again."

Zoro grunted. "Trying to tell me something?"

Hanley pointedly ruffled his hair, ignoring his protests.
"Only that you're an asshole for injuring yourself during a fight, and if I catch you doing it again I'll fucking kick your ass and leave you out for the buzzards."

"Huh, she didn't have to try too hard, did she?" Luffy asked brightly. Zoro waved his hand, not bothering to take her seriously.

"Oh, but before that, can you please toss my bag over? I have my materials in there and I need to fix this hat before it gets worse."

"I'm telling you: complex." Zoro easily held up her bag with one hand, regardless.

"I see you're riding with me whether I like it or not." Nami said, sounding resigned as she unfurled the main sail. "In any case, we should go."

"The two of you will be okay over there, right?" Hanley called.

"Yeah, yeah." Zoro yawned and settled down for a power nap.

"Stop right there, you morons!"

Hanley growled in irritation. "Oh what now?"

"Mister Chief!" Luffy shouted in surprise. They looked back in surprise to see Chief Boodle standing on the dock, gasping for breath. He must have come to during their wild run through the town's streets. Finally, he held up his hands and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry! I owe you!!"

The four of them smiled at that and Luffy waved his arms happily.

"Don't worry about it! Just live happy lives!"

Nami faced eastward and sighed happily as she collapsed on deck.

"This is so great. Look at all the money I got..." Her voice took on a sing-song quality as she hugged her sack close.

"Mmhmm, congratulations." Hanley carefully began to repair Luffy's hat.

"Where's the gold you got?"

"Right there." Hanley distractedly pointed to her bags behind her.

"What? That can't be it!! It was twice as large last time!"

"Oh, that? I left some behind for the villagers. I felt bad."

Luffy nodded, pleased with her actions. "Good idea, Hanley!"

"What?? That must have been five million berri!!"

"Really? That should just about cover it, then. But, um, what are you doing?" Hanley blinked as Nami's hands fell on her shoulders and she started to push. Or attempt to; Hanley shifted her weight so she wouldn't budge an inch. Nami's boots were sliding against the deck before she gave up.

"I was trying to push you overboard!"

"Um, I might not be a fish, but I can swim just as well as one."

"Figures."

"Don't mind, Nami! New adventures await!" Luffy held up his hands in excitement. "I can barely wait! This will be so much fun! We have to hurry!"

Zoro chuckled. "The Grand Line isn't going anywhere, but I understand completely."

"Hanley, are you done with my hat, yet?"

"No. You can't rush this."

"Okay!"

"Soon, Hanuman. We'll meet that man again. And we'll make him proud."

Luffy's expression became determined at her words. He nodded emphatically before looking over at her bags.

"Hanley, I'm hungry. Is there bacon?"

"Um, I got jerky."

"That's okay!"

"Just don't grab anymore birds, okay? My heart is weak."
"Wow, really??"

Nami sighed. "No, she's just exaggerating."

Zoro was already fast asleep.

**********

OMAKE: Krut Hanley

'How, oh how, did it come to this?' Hanley thought as she stared at the exceedingly weird and disturbing sight before her feet. 'Truly, there are some strange things in this world.'

It was a snake—well, it was an odd snake, rabbit hybrid—and it was currently winding and swirling in the dirt before her. Its rabbit ears twitched in a multitude of directions while its tail flicked towards her in a way that made her feel distinctly uncomfortable. Once in a while it would pause to look up at her, as if to check if she were still watching, before going back to its wild dance. It had been like that for several minutes, and she was getting more creeped out by the second. Her so-called husband was no help at all, finding it more interesting to mess with the other creepy animals on the island.

But, at least, he wasn't being intentionally unsympathetic. Nami and Zoro, however, were merciless. Nami was laughing so hard she could barely breathe, and Zoro was smirking in a way that Hanley really didn't appreciate.

Zoro took a bite out of a mango as he watched. "I think it likes you."

"Shut up, Zoro."

"I guess your charms were too much for it."

"Death awaits you."

"Soon we'll be beating the male snakes off with sticks."

"That is beyond disgusting."

"Tell that to your admirer."

Hanley shuddered near violently, trying to ignore Nami's helpless peals of laughter at her expense.

'Fuck! Will I ever meet a normal guy?? This is insane! Why is it I'm only attracting the weirdos or the nonhumans?? This thing is delusional if it thinks I'll—this is nasty!' Hanley finally couldn't take it anymore and lashed out, kicking it hard and up past the treeline. The hapless snake was soon flying into the distance and out of sight. Gaimon wailed in horror.

"N-Noooo! He was so young!"

"Wow, Hanley can be really mean." Luffy commented. Zoro nodded.

"Love is cruel."

**********

To be continued.