Chapter 11
Angela spent the next day in a fog. She hardly spoke to anyone. Her mind was a hurricane of emotions. She bounced between rattled, depressed, and a powerful sort of embarrassment that was the most constant of all her current feelings.
The morning was dull. All they did was pack their things into Brent's van. Brent also wanted them to pack stuff he needed for another camp his family owned. Brent asked the favor in his usual chipper manner, with a grin and a chuckle. Angela was having none of it while in her terrible mood. He was just using them. Angela was struck by the sobering realization that neither Brandon nor his older brother were as nice as they seemed.
Angela sat between Darlene and the door again on the ride home. Last night she had pondered Brandon's question. Why had she started dating him? Finally she had an answer.
She'd never felt that strongly about him. He was nice enough. They talked quite a bit. They had a lot of classes together.
Convenience.
Angela was the one who suggested they be boyfriend and girlfriend. That was around the time she really started looking at Elliot differently, and her feelings were becoming impossible to ignore. But she couldn't date Elliot, of course not. He was her best friend. She couldn't risk ruining things. She knew it was clichéd, but it was the truth. To go from a couple of friends who'd known each other so long to a couple was a big change, and one she was terrified to make. Even now she felt the same way, even after what had happened the night before. So, she'd started dating Brandon to avoid acknowledging her feelings. He was there, he already liked her, so she had used him.
Avoidance.
The ride home went by in a flash. Brent's van jerked to a halt in front of Elliot and Darlene's house, and the two got out. Angela climbed out of the van as well to help them with their bags. Unlike before, Brent didn't lift a finger. She supposed he was done being helpful, since they'd already served their purpose by loading his crap into the van.
Darlene dragged her bags across the yard with pained grunts and groans. Angela had offered to help, but she'd insisted she could do it herself.
Elliot didn't seem to be having too much trouble with his bags. He hung back, staring at Angela, looking like he desperately wanted to say something.
Angela looked him in the eye for the first time in a number of hours. She didn't feel quite as mortified as she thought she would. She wondered for how long they were going to avoid talking about the night before. She realized how on edge she was when Elliot started to speak and she almost jumped out of her skin.
"See you later," he said simply.
Angela gave a tight smile. "Yep. So…" She tried to say something more, but no words came out. She didn't even know what she wanted to say.
Elliot nodded. He was no longer looking at her. "Okay," he muttered. He trudged to his house without another word.
Angela climbed back into the van with a heavy sigh. Now things between them were more awkward than they'd ever been. Was this what it would be like from now on? I've ruined everything.
Angela didn't even notice they had parked in front of her house until Brent said something. She said thanks to Brent, even though she didn't want to at this point. She said goodbye to Reggie, and as usual he got all hot and bothered just because she'd spoken to him. She said nothing to Brandon, and continued to not even acknowledge his existence.
Angela retrieved her bag and crossed the small yard to her home. She found her dad in the foyer, sifting through the mail. On the living room table behind him sat a number of empty beer bottles. Some of his friends had been here recently.
He glanced up at her. "Hey, how was the trip?"
Angela forced a smile. "It was great!" she told him, then immediately retreated to her room. As expected, her father wasn't interested in the details. Angela dropped her bag on the floor and threw herself onto her bed.
Her father had been right about Brandon.
He was right about her too.
Why did she ever think she was deserving of "more credit," whatever that even meant? What did she want him to appreciate about her? Her recklessness? Her childishness? He'd only given her two rules, and she'd broken both of them.
Angela wondered why he'd changed his mind and let her go on the trip. He'd been right the first time.