Wait.What: UM MAYBE XD
meme: Yes, Dawn is a psycho. And yeah, only one vote per person.
MelodyStar: hahahaha, that's awesome. FANTA YAY! Thanks for the OC! She sounds cool. I'll work her into the Volkner part.
animecupcakes: The secret of Dawn's undies might never be revealed... mwahaha. And I don't really know how many chapters it'll be. At this rate, around 100. But maybe (probably) more. xD
Phyllis: PEANUT BUTTER! WHOO! I like that too! DO YOU HAVE OREOS? 8D
Kefka666: Hahaha XD
bobobo: The first fan character will be introduced in chapter 13. THAT IS A PROMISE. XD
Dagzar: -bilions of ice and shineys- :D YAY!

Hey everyone. VOTING IS STILL OPEN, just ta let you know. So please vote if you haven't. The contest is in chapter 13. And the first fan character will be in that chapter, too. WHEE!!

This is probably the shortest and crappiest chapter ever. But I blame it all on school coming soon and stuffs. Review anyway, though, so I don't become all sad. D:

ENJOYS.

Roark, Perv of Stone: Part Two
Tick, tock, tick, tock.

"Oh, great. I must have set off a bomb!" Dawn laughed, poking the place she had stuck her pick into.

Lucas's eyes went wide, and he pushed her away from the chipped rock on the wall.

"You idiot! You're going to set off a trap!"

Dawn got pushed into Taze, and he backed into a wall, setting off yet another trap.

"Now there's more beeping noises," the blond said softly.

"Great. Just great. Who's the idiot now?" Dawn sneered, sticking her tongue out at Lucas.

"Fine, you go ahead and act like a two-year-old. In the end, you'll just be screwing yourself over. Perry's watching us now, and he subtracts points for everything stupid you do. You're probably in the negatives by now—"

"Yeah, I know, GENIUS. I'm not THAT dense!"

"You're acting like it."

"Why do you have to be such a prick?"

"Why do you have to be so damn stupid?!"

"How DARE YOU--!"

Suddenly, the traps in the walls began to activate. Thick black smoke shot out of a crevice in the wall, engulfing the trio. The other trap went off at the same time, and hundreds of bubbles flew through the air, hovering around them.

"Gah! I can't see!" Dawn flailed her arms around, popping nearby bubbles.

"Just try not to breathe," Lucas said through coughs as he crouched to the ground, holding his nose closed. Dawn and Taze did the same.

The three trainers squinted through the murky smoke, and it faded slowly but eventually. The bubbles popped on their own while they waited for the smoke to clear. As soon as the conditions were normal, Lucas stood up and grabbed his pickaxe.

"Just let Taze and I do it," he said to Dawn, inspecting the rocky walls for anything suspicious looking.

"Well, those traps weren't that bad." Dawn sighed, slumping down with her back to the walls next to Ashes.

"Yeah, Roark said we'd die if we set one off…" Taze murmured.

"He only said that to get us scared." Lucas rolled his eyes, and he broke off a medium-sized rock with his hands, dropping it on the ground next to Dawn. There was a button of some sort built-in to the wall, and he pressed it. The iron door opened, and Lucas grinned satisfyingly.

"Huh." Taze followed Lucas into the dark tunnel, leaving Dawn behind.

"GET BACK HERE! Don't leave me! Something will come out and attack me…"

Dawn got to her feet, but the iron door suddenly clamped shut. She and Ashes stood there, eyes wide, as thoughts of what could have happened to them had they been walking through the door when it shut raced through their minds.

"::We're screwed.::"

"Shut up." Dawn pounded on the iron door, screaming for Lucas and Taze. "WHAT DID YOU TWO DO?! This isn't funny!"

Taze's voice was heard from the other side of the door a few moments later.

"We didn't do anything."

"Yeah, I guess you were just too slow," Lucas's voice taunted. "Now you'll be disqualified for not even completing the challen--"

"SHUT UP! ……You dirty bastards!" Dawn clenched her fists, signaling for Ashes to follow her back through the tunnel in the direction they had come from. "I'll show you..."

Taze raised his eyebrows. "What's she planning to do?"

"I don't really want to think about it at this point. Come on, let's get out of here," Lucas said as he released Piplup from her Pokeball.

"::Eww, the floor is... dirty.::" She stuck her break in the air, turning her back to Pokey.

"::Aww, it's not so bad.::" The Turtwig smiled cheerfully.

"::Easy for you to say. You... plant thing. You probably take delight in rolling in mud.::"

Lucas looked at Taze and the Pokemon. "Okay, don't touch the walls. There are probably traps planted everywhere. Just inspect, and if you see anything suspicious, tell me."

"Why did they give us these picks in the first place?" Taze looked down at his sharp tool thoughtfully.

"Probably to give Dawn the chance to do something stupid. I bet Perry's laughing his ass off by now in front of his monitoring screen."

Dawn ambled out of the tunnel into the main room of the Gym. It was completely empty, and the fan in the corner of the room was still blowing dust through the air.

"::Sooo... you gotta plan?::" Ashes asked.

Dawn poked her chin. "Mmmm... maybe."

"::You do know that I'll probably lose this Gym fight. And when I say lose, I mean, PHAIL. Horribly.::"

"Yeeeeeah, whatever." Dawn led the Chimchar over to the room Perry had gone into earlier, before they had started their challenge. "I think I have a plan for the match, though. So long as you cooperate."

"::I hope that plan doesn't involve me... uh, evolving.::"

Dawn smirked, rapping on the door. Clumsy movement could be heard from inside, and moments later Perry's face poked out.

"Hey, baby. I was wondering when you'd show up."

"Yeah, let's skip the sappy crap. Just let me in there." Dawn tried to push the boy aside, but he gripped onto the frame of the door, refusing to budge.

"Sorry. This room contains some hardcore con-fi-den-ti-al shit." Perry nodded firmly as he started to close the door.

"What?! Let me in," Dawn growled, trying to crawl underneath him.

"As much as I'd love to be locked up in a tiny room with you, I'm afraid I have to say no--"

"Ashes, Ember this pitiful loser—"

"Okay, all right, you can come in!" Perry opened the door, looking around the main Gym room discreetly. "Just make sure Roark doesn't see."

Dawn and Ashes practically had to crawl on top of Perry to get into the crammed room. It probably shouldn't have even been considered a room. It was more like a closet.

Perry sat down in a swiveling chair in front of a computer. It was one of the newest models out. He opened a window on the screen and a video of Taze and Lucas was shown.

"This is live feed," he said, unpeeling a banana. Dawn craned her head to take a look. She couldn't even move anywhere the room was so crowded with books and other useless junk.

"What're they doing?" she demanded, turning the monitor to face her. "Can we hear what they're saying?"

"I wish." Perry took a bite of his banana, looking up at Dawn.

"Sooooo... what brings you to my humble lair?"

Dawn shot him a disgusted look. "Well, that iron door got shut before I could go through, as you know. So what am I supposed to do?"

"Well, technically you'd be disqualified, but..."

"BUT?!"

"But I'd be willing to... make an exception, if ya know what I mean." Perry smirked.

"No, actually, I don't really WANT to know what you mean. You're creepin' me out, dude."

"::I suggest we run. Fast.::" Ashes tugged on Dawn's pink boots, but she didn't move.

"Aw, but you wouldn't be able to win your badge if you accept my offer. So whaddaya say, hotcakes?"

"If you EVER call me that again, I'll castrate you with my bare hands. But otherwise, I'M IN!"

Perry grinned. "Awesome. Great. All you have to do is--"

"::PERVERT ALERT!::" Ashes wailed, hitting Dawn's feet with clenched fists.

"--Make out with me!"

Perry promptly received a slap on the face.

"IN YOUR DREAMS! I should have expected this from a sick psycho like YOU!" Dawn stomped on his foot in rage.

"Why didn't I see this coming?" Perry rubbed his cheek in pain, and Dawn turned, her hand going toward the doorknob.

"WAIT! I was just kidding! Yeah! Ha, ha... okay, here's the real offer."

Dawn turned around. Flames could practically be seen in her eyes.

"What?"

"In a couple of days, I have to go to Jubilife City. Pick up a shipment for the Gym, the usual stuff. Since you guys will be heading there anyway, I was thinking..."

Dawn blanched. "NO. Just... NO."

"Here's the deal. I sneak you into the battle room at the last second, so Roark doesn't see. And you let me come with you guys to Jubilife. Come on, it won't be that bad."

"No."

"Please?"

"NO."

"Pleaaaaase?"

"NO!!!"

"It's not like I'll be coming along on your entire journey! Just to Jubilife. And it kills me to say this, but then, I PROMISE I'll leave you alone.

... Forever."

Dawn's eyebrows went up a bit. A tight smirk formed on her lips. "Really?"

"Really."

"Fine, then. Just tell me what to do..."

11/End

Hahahha. Yeah. Sorry about the lameness and shortness. The next chapter should be better. And the chapter after that is MY FAVORITE CHAPPIE YET. So stay tuned... dun dun dun!