Babies Will Be Babies
Someone's A Little Badass
Fang still had trouble wrapping her mind around the fact that she and Lightning had a child. It was simultaneously the most awesome and most terrifying thing that had ever happened to her. What if they weren't good parents? What if their child grew up to be some kind of horrible criminal? What if their child turned out grouchier that Lightning?
"Got your nose!" Fang tweaked Averia's nose and chuckled at the putout expression on the baby girl's face. "Who has got your nose? I do. I have your nose!"
Held securely in Lightning's arms, Averia glared. The baby did not seem amused by the interruption of her morning meal. Then again, Fang wouldn't have liked it either if someone pulled her away from Lightning's breasts.
"Fang, you really shouldn't do that." Lightning patted Averia on the back. "I don't think she likes it."
"What do you mean?" Fang grinned and tweaked Averia's nose again. The baby girl scowled ferociously. It was so cute. Averia was like a miniature Lightning. "Of course she likes it."
Fang leaned in again, intent on giving Averia's nose one last tweak. This time, however, Averia was ready for her.
"Agh! Damn it!" Fang jerked back and clutched at her face. "Did you see that, Lightning? She just poked me in the eye."
Lightning rolled her eyes. "Fang, she's a baby. Do you really think she did that on purpose?"
"I guess." Fang moved closer. "Got your – ah!" Only her quick reflexes saved her from another poke in the eye. "Did you see that? She did it again!"
Lightning chuckled and eased Averia back toward her breast. "Well, that's what you get for poking her nose. Besides, you know she gets cranky when she's hungry."
Averia shot one last glare at Fang before she returned her attention to Lightning's breast. She might be a baby, but she wasn't about to let anyone mess with her.
X X X
That's What Sisters Are For
Lightning worried about Diana. To be fair, she worried about both her children and her niece. But she really worried about Diana. Averia had never been one to look for trouble, even as a toddler. Diana was a different story. They'd toddler-proofed the house, and Lightning still worried.
Now that Diana was learning to walk, she seemed determined to try and put her fingers into every electrical socket in the house. When she wasn't putting anything – and everything – she found into her mouth, she was trying to negotiate the stairs on her own. They'd managed to avoid disaster so far, but it didn't help one bit that Diana's mischievousness was matched only by her cunning in trying to sneak away from them.
Averia had been an absolute blessing when it came to handling Diana. She took her duties as an older sibling very seriously and kept a close eye – Fang said too close an eye – on her younger sister. Diana soaked up the attention and had absolutely no qualms in dragging her sister over to play or begging for a cuddle. Averia, scowls and all, never failed to indulge her sister.
However, what Lightning was looking at right now was something she hadn't seen before.
Diana had her hands in Averia's mouth, and she was trying to pull Averia's lips up into a smile.
Next to Lightning, Fang smirked. "Somehow, I get the feeling she's going to be doing a lot of that over the years. Averia needs to smile more."
Lightning happened to agree, but it was hard for Averia to smile with Diana's hands shoved in her mouth.
X X X
Like Father Like Daughter
Snow made no secret of how much he loved Serah's hair. Sure, he loved the rest of her too, but her hair had always fascinated him. It was a very unusual shade for one, but it was also wonderfully soft and silky. There were times when they were curled up in bed together when he would just press his face into her hair and savour the feel of it against his skin.
After Claire had been born, it hadn't taken long for it become clear that she loved to follow him around. She would clap and giggle as she watched Snow train in the garage, pounding away at a punching bag or using other pieces of equipment. It was nice to have company when he was working out, and it was hilarious when she tried to punch him. It reminded him a little bit of Lightning, actually, but in a non-scary way. He was as proud as any father could be of Claire, and he had no doubt whatsoever that she would grow up into a wonderful woman one day.
Serah, of course, had taken their daughter's favouritism with her usual grace. She'd even bought Claire a pair of tiny boxing gloves. Unfortunately, though, Claire had also picked up a few of Snow's other habits.
He had come home to find Serah dozing on their bed with Claire. The baby girl had woken up and with nothing better to do, she'd decided to imitate her father again – by grabbing some of Serah's hair and bringing it to her face. Unlike Snow, however, she hadn't been content to savour the texture of Serah's hair. Claire wanted to taste it too.
Snow gently, but firmly, pulled Serah's hair out of Claire's mouth.
"This will be our secret okay." He picked Claire up and held her up to his face. "No eating mommy's hair."
A few minutes later, Serah woke up to find Claire giggling on Snow's lap as he moved her arms through a few lazy punches.
"Snow? You're home early." Serah sat up and then winced. "Ugh… why is my hair sticky?"
X X X
It Begins
Fang was at her wit's end. In typical toddler fashion, Diana had started to ask questions about everything around her. Fang loved her daughter to bits, but this getting ridiculous. There had to be something freaky in the Farron family genes because Lightning and Averia didn't seem the least bit bothered by all of Diana's questions.
"Mommy, why is your hair dark?"
Fang sighed. "Because it just is."
"But why?"
"Because my parents must have had dark hair. That's why you have dark hair too, Diana."
"Why are your eyes green?"
"It's the same as with my hair. My parents must have had green eyes. It's why Averia has green eyes."
"But why are my eyes blue?"
"Because you get your eyes from your mom."
"But why not from you?"
Fang twitched. "It's just like that sometimes."
A pause.
"Why is the sky blue?"
Fang took a deep, deep breath. She's survived three hours of this so far, but she doubted she could survive another minute. "How about we see what's on television?"
"Why?"
Twitch.
"Because it will be fun."
Fang turned on the television and was immediately greeted by one of the most horrifying things she'd ever witnessed. A bright orange gorgonopsid was dancing around a campfire singing a song about friendship with an assortment of bizarrely coloured animals. It was like someone had puked fluorescent colours all over the screen. Her eyes were bleeding.
Diana, however, was entranced.
"Do you… like this?"
Diana nodded eagerly. "It's cool." She pointed at the gorgonopsid on the television. "But why is he orange?"
X X X
Not Your Usual Babysitter
Bahamut had seen and done a great many things during his life. Some were strange, a great many were violent, and others were inspiring. When Fang had summoned him, he had arrived ready and willing to wreak horrible vengeance on her enemies and cause untold amounts of property damage. It had been a while since he'd had a chance to stretch his legs and levelling a block or two would definitely help loosen up the knot in his back.
Fang didn't want him to wreak horrible vengeance on her enemies. She didn't even want him to blow up a few buildings. No, she wanted him to babysit. Now, Bahamut liked Averia. She was, after all, the daughter of Fang and Lightning, which automatically made her very important to him. It helped that she thought he was the coolest thing in the history of forever. An Eidolon he might be, but he had his pride too. Odin might be as famous as he was, but Averia liked him more.
Still, he'd never done the whole babysitting thing before. He didn't know the first thing about looking after a small, squishy human. Nevertheless, he had his orders. While Fang helped deal with an emergency on the outskirts of New Bodhum, Bahamut would stay in the backyard and watch over Averia.
"Do you want some of my sandwich?"
Bahamut leaned down to examine the sandwich. It was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and it smelled delicious. Unfortunately, it was way too small for him. He shook his head.
"Okay." Averia took another bite out of her sandwich. "You're way cooler than Odin. You have wings and everything."
Bahamut preened. Take that Odin!
"Can you fly?"
Bahamut nodded.
Averia smirked in a very Fang-like way. "Can we fly?"
Bahamut weighed up his options. Oh, why not? It was getting boring staying in the backyard, and he couldn't even move around much without smashing something. He nodded and picked Averia up in one claw.
A short time later…
Fang was certain that Bahamut would take care of Averia. The dragon knew how much Averia meant to her and Lightning, and he would never let harm come to her. Now that the situation on the outskirts was under control, she could go back and home and get dinner started. Lightning would come back from her conference in New Eden without any idea that something had been amiss. It was the perfect plan.
Her phone rang.
"Fang." Lightning's voice was more of a snarl. "I'm on the ship coming into New Bodhum. Can you explain to me why there is a pink-haired girl who looks suspiciously like our daughter waving at me from Bahamut's claws?"
Fang gulped. She was going to kill Bahamut – if Lightning didn't kill her first.
X X X
It's In His Smile… And Hers
Serah had long since accepted that she was a sucker for Snow's smile. Her husband had one of the warmest, friendliest smiles she'd ever seen. It made her feel so nice inside, and over the years, he'd used it to squirm out of quite a few tricky situations.
Get caught drinking milk out of the bottle? Sorry, Serah. Smile.
Left the toiler seat up? Sorry, Serah. Smile.
Back home late after an expedition? Sorry, Serah. Smile.
She didn't mind much, especially since Snow was exactly the same way when it came to her smile. Marriage was all about knowing when to compromise and when to hold firm. Serah had learned how to hold firm the hard way – she'd grown up with Lightning, who was, as much as she loved her, one of the most stubborn, mule-headed people she knew. Snow had taught her about compromise. The two of them made a point of talking things through, and for the most part, it worked like a charm. They were very happy.
Claire's arrival had only made them happier. They both doted on their daughter, but Serah was surprised and impressed by how well Snow had taken to fatherhood. After some initial freaking out, which was totally understandable, he'd quickly established himself as an excellent father. He always had time for Claire, and he was gentle but firm in correcting her behaviour when she played up. Claire loved him back, and Serah was forced to admit that Claire was going to grow up into a daddy's girl.
Serah came back into the dining room with Claire's juice and sighed. Claire had used the few moments Serah was out of the room to smear her spaghetti all over her face in imitation of the war paint they'd seen in a movie last night.
"Claire…"
Claire giggled and then, showing she really did take after her father, she flashed Serah the sunniest of sunny smiles.
Serah chuckled. "Fine, fine, you're off the hook for now." She wiped Claire's face off. "But don't make a habit of it." She paused. "And no more spaghetti. If you're not going to eat it, you won't get any."
Claire's pout was a picture-perfect replica of Snow's as well.
X X X
The Assistant
Vanille had never trusted babies. They looked entirely too innocent. They had to be plotting something. She'd received confirmation of her hypothesis when Averia had responded to a bit of harmless nose tweaking by poking Fang in the eye.
However, the past few months had done a lot to change Vanille's opinion. Apart from glaring a lot, Averia was actually surprisingly cute and cuddly. She might scowl and frown, but she never tried to get away when Vanille picked her up for a hug. In fact, she even snuggled closer most of the time. Even so, Vanille had worn safety goggles the first few times, just to be safe.
Averia was a lot like Lightning then: hard on the outside and soft on the inside. Besides, Fang had probably deserved it. Now that Vanille thought about it, she probably would have poked Fang in the eye too if Fang kept tweaking her nose.
However, despite all of the similarities between Lightning and Averia, Vanille was still taken aback by what was in front of her. She'd come over with a new toy for Averia – a fluffy chocobo plush toy – to find Lightning on the couch going through paperwork. That wasn't the surprising part. The surprising part was that Averia was helping.
As Lightning filled out each form, she would toss it into one of two piles. One pile was for things that were approved. The other pile was for things not approved. Averia had been given the prestigious duty of stamping the paperwork with the appropriate stamp, either 'APPROVED' or 'NOT APPROVED'. The really scary part was that she seemed to be using the right stamp each time.
"Are you sure that's normal?" Vanille asked.
"It's fine." Lightning passed Averia another piece of paper. The girl scowled and then stamped it NOT APPROVED.
"Right…" Vanille bent down to watch Averia stamp a few more pieces of paper. "I'm telling you, this isn't normal. Babies can't use –"
Stamp. Averia glared and lowered the NOT APPROVED stamp she'd just pressed against Vanille's forehead.
"All right, I see." Vanille waved the chocobo plush toy around. "I was going to give you this but…"
Averia brandished her stamp again.
Vanille handed over the chocobo.
Lightning smiled and ruffled Averia's hair. She had an awesome daughter.
Averia frowned and stamped Lightning's hand. NOT APPROVED.
X X X
Not Very Mature
Snow loved his daughter, but he was glad to have a bit of a break. Claire never seemed to run out of energy. She could spend the whole day running, laughing, and playing and still get up to mischief after dinner. She was running both him and Serah ragged.
Serah had taken Claire to the doctor for a routine check up. Snow doubted there would be anything wrong. Claire shared his obnoxiously good health. Whenever Serah went down with a cold, both Snow and Claire could be counted on to go on unharmed and uninfected. It drove Serah nuts. Lightning had also taken Averia in for a check up. The two sisters and their daughters would probably spend the day together.
Rather than hang around at home alone, Snow decided to head next door and pay Fang and Diana a visit. Diana was absolutely adorable. She was like a miniature Fang with the attitude and temperament to match.
He knocked on the front door. Fang greeted him with a quick smile before she darted back into the dining room. How odd. Snow shrugged and settled down on the couch in the living room. It probably wouldn't be long now before Diana toddled in. The little girl seemed to find him incredibly interesting because of how tall he was.
When a few minutes had passed with no sign of either Fang or Diana, Snow went into the dining room. As he got closer, he heard the sound of giggling. Diana giggling he could understand. Fang giggling was not something he heard very often. He peered into the dining room.
Diana and Fang were rolling around the dining room floor. Both of them had porridge smeared over their faces.
"You think you've won?" Fang rubbed some porridge across Diana's forehead. The girl gave a little cry of delight. "You've won nothing!"
"Mommy!" Diana threw some of her porridge. "Take that!"
Fang dodged and the porridge hit the wall with a wet thump before it slid down toward the floor.
"You're too young to beat me, kiddo. Wait until –" Fang trailed off as she finally noticed Snow at the door. "Uh…"
Snow grinned. He might have participated in a food fight or two with Claire himself. "Don't worry, I won't tell Lightning."
"Thanks."
X X X
Grandpa
Sazh settled Claire down on his lap. He had the baby for the day, and he couldn't be happier. There was nothing quite like a few hours on the porch at his ranch on a sunny day. He had a cool drink nearby, a baby on his lap, and his favourite chocobo beside him. Life was good. Holding Claire reminded him of what Dajh had been like as a baby. She was definitely more energetic than Dajh had been, cooing and babbling all the time. She only quietened down when he talked, and he'd spent the past hour or so sharing a few stories with her. He doubted she understood much of what he said, but he didn't mind. Babies were good listeners – just like chocobos.
"You know," Sazh said to Claire as the baby reached up to try and grab his Afro. "I wasn't sure you'd ever be born. I actually had some money on your aunt killing your dad. I'm glad I was wrong though. You're a cute little thing."
"Kweh." Chirpy got up and leaned over to examine Claire more closely. This was the first time he'd met Snow and Serah's chick. "Kweh kweh… kweh."
Sazh chuckled. "I know, Chirpy. She does look kind of squishy, but that's just how babies are. And no, she can't walk yet."
"Kweh." Chirpy stilled as Claire ran her fingers through a few of his feathers. He smiled and nuzzled her back, drawing a giggle from the baby when the smooth surface of his beak rubbed against her cheek. "Kweh kweh."
"Yep, babies are kind of cute." Sazh grinned. "And no, I don't think she'll end up as big as Snow."
"Kweh."
"Okay, maybe she might, but that would be pretty scary. Snow is huge."
A car pulled up in front of the ranch. Snow and Serah got out of it and walked over to the porch.
"I hope she wasn't too much trouble," Serah said.
Sazh shook his head. "No, it's fine. I told her a few stories. She's a good listener." He handed Claire over to Serah. "Here."
Chirpy looked at Claire and then at Serah. He nudged the pink-haired woman's stomach. "Kweh kweh kweh."
Sazh and Snow guffawed.
"What did he say?" Serah had no idea how Sazh and the others could understand what Chirpy said. Maybe it was an exposure thing because every now and then she was sure she could pick up a few words.
Sazh patted Chirpy on the back. "He was wondering how something as big as Claire managed to fit inside your stomach and then get out without breaking you in half."
Serah flushed. "It's complicated."
Chirpy rolled his eyes. "Kweh kweh."
"What does that mean?"
Sazh translated for Chirpy. "He said that chocobos have it much easier. They just lay an egg."
X X X
Author's Notes
As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.
I've said it before, but I'll say it again: it's nice, sometimes, to be able to work with a few short snippets rather than one big block of a chapter. It's definitely easier to do these more slice-of-life style moments with this format.
In this chapter, I wanted to cover a few of the baby/toddler moments in the girls' lives. Children can seem like a separate species at times, and every childhood has at least a few bizarre moments in it. For the members of the Villiers and Yun-Farron families, there are more than a few bizarre moments.
We saw a few interesting things in this chapter. For instance, we now know how Diana first stumbled across Gary (Fang has only herself to blame). We also know another one of the reasons that Averia and Diana like Bahamut more than Odin (any dragon that gives free rides is going to be a hit with the kids). And we also know that Claire and Sazh have gotten along since they first met. Funnily enough, I actually think Chirpy might make a better babysitter than any of the Eidolons. At the very least, he'd try to keep the girls indoors.
As an aside, it's November now, and in the spirit of the month, I have a few original fiction projects that I'm working on and planning. I'll keep you posted on those (I do plan, in one of those, on putting my sense of humour to work). If you are interested in my original fiction, you can finds links to that in my profile. If you're after some fantasy with a healthy dose of action, check out The Last Huntress and its sequel The Lord of Dark Waters. If high fantasy is more your style, The Burning Mountains might be for you. And if you like paranormal Westerns featuring zombies and demons, then have a look at The Gunslinger and the Necromancer.
The third story in The Last Huntress series will be coming out soon (within the next week or so). To mark the occasion, this Sunday 17th of November, The Lord of Dark Waters (the second story in The Last Huntress series) and The Gunslinger and the Necromancer will be available for free. That's right, from 12:00 AM midnight 17th of November to 11:59 PM that same day (Pacific Standard Time), you can get The Lord of Dark Waters and The Gunslinger and the Necromancer for free (there may be some delay at the start due to Amazon's occasional scheduling issues). I know that it's tough to give something new a go, but if you've enjoyed my fan fiction, I think you'll enjoy my original fiction too.
I already have links to The Lord of Dark Waters and The Gunslinger and the Necromancer in my profile, but I will be updating them to be more visible once the free promotion starts on Sunday (both my deviant art and tumblr will be similarly updated – there are links to both in my profile). If you don't have a Kindle, don't worry. You can still get The Lord of Dark Waters and The Gunslinger and the Necromancer for free – all you have to do is download a completely free Kindle app from Amazon (link in my profile) so that you can use your PC, Mac, laptop, phone, or iPhone/iPad instead.
As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome (they will receive Averia's official stamp of approval).