Music Choice: Dirty Paws by Of Monsters and Men

Looking Glass

Chapter 11

Small

...

You might be wondering why I'm writing this specifically to you; especially since I don't know where you are, or if you will come back. Consider it instinct, I suppose.

You know how hard it has always been for me to confide things in people that I consider to be 'too much' for them to handle. However, in this case, I know that I must exercise caution; because I know that I'm probably going to die for knowing what I know, and if you are reading this now, then I guess I did.

I can't risk Taiyang and Qrow, too, because of the girls. And Tai can't look into the abyss and walk away, not like you can. I'm sorry if that sounds unfair, my love. Please understand, that it's not because I treasure you less, or don't respect Taiyang. We all have things that we are more capable of than others.

You have always valued truth above all things. No matter how horrible that truth may be. And if I should die, I know that you will do the right thing.

Raven, someone has to do the right thing for once and stop this. Because goddess help us if no one does.

…

Summer sniffed again, her nose stuffy. The wind blew strands of her hair hither and thither, and the moon reflected off the waters brilliantly. The immense ship rocked gently over the waves; at the height she was, she could feel the wind sway the mast. She was easily a hundred feet above sea level, likely more.

Summer had gone somewhere she doubted anyone would look for her when she ran from her teammates that morning: the ship's mast. She was positioned away from any stray radiation from the radars, not that they were potent enough to hurt her.

She had been up there literally all day and half the night. Her team could have searched the entire ship and never spotted her. It was the perfect hiding spot.

So when a dark shadow crouched down beside her, Summer nearly flipped out, assuming it was Raven. Yet, upon turning, she saw that it was not.

She glared at the intruder angrily, not that the woman would care. Nwyfre dangled her legs over the edge of the platform, staring out over the horizon. She sat there for nearly ten minutes, neither talking nor making any gesture that might indicate a want to converse.

Summer was extremely tempted to punch her. Bite her. Something to drive this horrible person away. Finally, Nwyfre sighed, making Summer flinch.

"…when we first found them, they were starved, bruised, and in Raven's case, nearly raped half to death," Nwyfre said, watching the distance.

Summer paused, eying her unwanted companion carefully. The imagery threatening to invade her mind was extremely unwelcome and horrific.

"Ciara pulled Qrow out of an iron cage. They had fettered and gagged him because he kept biting. He couldn't speak, because of how raw the welts were around his jaw and he couldn't walk easily, because of how the shackles had worn around his ankles."

Summer sniffed again, staring out over the ocean herself.

"Raven had managed to break out of her crate when one of my men tried to pull her out; but she was feral, and terrified, and tore herself free. At some point, she stumbled across the man who had been assaulting her and killed him. She was seven. I would place him at about forty-five."

Summer closed her eyes, ears folding back; she could smell salt, sea creatures and certain elements of the ship.

How could someone do that to anyone? To a child? What is wrong with people? Gods help us…

"I managed to scoop her up and bring her home with us. She was terrified. Anyone that tried to touch her, she bit or clawed, myself included at times," Nwyfre chuckled, pulling a sleeve up and showing her. A small set of teeth marks had left a pale circle on the meat of her forearm. Summer stared in fascination.

"Qrow was more manageable, at least with Ciara. My love has a way with people. And kids. That I lack. He would follow her around the camp, Semblance making a mess of everything as he tried to help her with things. It was adorable."

Summer glanced at Nwyfre again. The ex-witchfinger was smiling gently. It made her look like another human being entirely, in the soft moonlight as she thought of fond memories. Summer briefly wondered how many different faces a person could have.

"But Raven was as suspicious of her as everyone else. I think it's because she was too nice," Nwyfre laughed. "She didn't believe her."

Summer felt a familiar pang aching in her chest. Nwyfre paused for a time, and Summer didn't speak.

"She and Qrow would…make these little nests to hide in. It made them feel safe. I would go into a tent, not just ours mind you, any tent. And I would find them, hiding in some weird spot. Like a cupboard. Or under a bed. Or anywhere they felt like they were safe."

A tear ran down her cheek, and Summer tried to not swipe at it.

"Raven wouldn't accept food from us unless she thought she was stealing our own. I assumed she had been drugged into compliance a few times and learned her lesson, so she refused to take anything complex we gave her. So I would pretend to forget my own meals where she could 'steal' them. She thought she was being very clever."

Another tear followed the first.

"One of my lieutenants, Breana, found her during one of her first panic episodes," Nwyfre continued, glancing at the lights far below. "I was asleep in a hammock in the sun and suddenly, this heaving, terrified baby was being pressed into my arms and my grownass warrior was swearing to everything under the shattered moon that she didn't do it. But didn't know how to fix it."

Summer sniffed, tears falling freely now.

"It's not like I knew how to either. Because how can you fix the past? You can't," Nwyfre said. Her greyish eyes were glittering as she watched people below them. "So I just held her."

Nwyfre's left foot swung carelessly through the air.

"She was so small, and so scared. I remember being stunned by that, how little she was. How big her eyes were as she fought to breath. Was I ever that small? That afraid? Surely not?"

Nwyfre chuckled ruefully, shaking her head as she looked up at the sky.

"I was in over my head. But it was right there that I decided that no one was going to honestly, truly hurt her again."

Summer's eyes were blurry as she stared out over the water. Nwyfre tilted her head, staring at her.

"So. Quit being an ass, go downstairs and see her and Vanilla Bean. Before I toss you off."

"Wh-what?" Summer stammered, rubbing the tears from her eyes. "I bit her-"

I was a rabid animal, and I bit someone I love-

"With the amount of biting that girl's done, it's only fair she get a little karma," Nwyfre chuckled. "Besides, it was just a nip, she shouldn't have put her fool arm in your mouth like that. That was stupid."

Summer gaped in confusion, and no small amount of anger. This lady made no sense.

"But! What?! I hurt her! I was out of control-"

"No you weren't. You thought I was going after her and Vanilla Bean, and attacked me. That was it. It was just a love bite anyways; she's gotten worse scrapes training with me."

Summer stared at her in bewilderment.

"But. Weren't you trying to hurt them?!" Summer yelped. "You, you don't make any sense at all!"

Nwyfre smirked, tilting her head to observe her. Under the stars, she looked like a wild thing, surreal. Ethereal.

"Sure I do. I was provoking you intentionally. I wanted to see what you would do. Dust, didn't Tormund teach you a damn thing?" Nwyfre sighed.

"He taught me how not to be a manipulative jerk," Summer mumbled.

"Impressive, considering he is both those things," Nwyfre laughed.

"No he isn't," Summer growled.

"He can be. When he wants," Nwyfre sighed again. She didn't sound angry or bitter, however. Just blasé. "Listen, I'm not gonna argue with you about semantics. Raven's been having a literal conniption since you've been up here, but refuses to fetch you because 'you don't want her here'. And Qrow is threatening to go back to Beacon if I don't apologize. Which, for the record. I'm not doing. Because I'm not a liar, when it counts."

Summer glared at the ex-witchfinger distrustfully. She didn't understand, and Nwyfre was incredibly hard to read. Summer knew witchfingers trained to control their expressions and bodies to an impeccable degree; Nwyfre's heart rate was the same, and she didn't smell afraid or angry. She could be telling the truth or lying, and Summer wouldn't know. It was disconcerting, like interrogating smoke.

"She isn't mad at you. She's extremely angry at me, though," Nwyfre chuckled after a moment. "I guess I can't blame her. But she doesn't understand what it's like. To be a parent."

Summer wasn't certain being a parent meant acting like a sociopath; all Nwyfre had to do was…well Summer didn't know herself. What would she do, if she was a parent?

"….Why do you hate us so much?" Summer asked. She had asked Qrow the same thing before. However, she wanted to hear it in her own words.

Nwyfre stared at her for a moment, mouth twitching in amusement.

"I don't hate you."

"You sure act like it," Summer muttered.

"Mmm. I act like a lot of things."

"You're not very kind then, whether it's for show or not," Summer said, her ears flattening.

Nwyfre smiled at her, and Summer felt it was the most genuine thing the woman had done the brief time she had known her.

"No. I'm not. But wolves don't apologize for their natures, do they?"

…..

Summer took a deep breath as she opened the door to Tai's room. The lights were dim, but she could see just fine. She could smell her teammates, and a combination of fear and happiness flickered through her.

She spotted them immediately and hesitated. Raven was asleep in Taiyang's lap, who had his ribs wrapped from the beating Nwyfre had given him earlier. Tai had his fingers tangled in her hair, leaning against the bedframe facing her. He was asleep too, mouth hanging open slightly.

Qrow was awake, lounging on the bed and watching her. His mouth twisted upwards as he met her eyes. Summer paused, afraid, before he waved two fingers at her in greeting.

Some of the tension went out of her shoulders as she entered the room properly, making no noise as she padded over the carpet. Qrow sat up, making a strange face she didn't immediately recognize.

"So Ma found you?" he whispered.

Their sleeping teammates didn't stir.

"Yes."

"She apologize?"

"…as best as she's able," Summer said after a moment.

Qrow snorted, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

"I'm sorry, kiddo."

Summer blinked in confusion before sitting down besides Raven and Taiyang.

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong."

"No, but she did," he sighed. "She shouldn't have done that."

Summer shook her head slowly.

"That's not your responsibility, Qrow."

"Maybe. Sucks though."

Summer sighed softly, glancing at the sleeping forms of Raven and Taiyang. Something nudged her in the back of her mind, and Summer scooted closer to them. After a moment, she cuddled even closer, resting against them. Tai mumbled in his sleep and Raven stirred slightly.

However, they didn't wake up as Summer leaned against them, chest aching. She didn't say anything, closing her eyes as she leaned into them and listened to their heartbeats. It was a symphony, one she could listen to for the rest of her life. Perhaps, if she was very lucky, she would.