Disclaimer: I don't own CATS!

Tantomile turned her head and stared at the ceiling as the old queens poked and prodded at her growing belly, wincing now and then as one would touch a tender spot. She really hoped they would be done soon, sitting on this bench with no support for her back was making her sore.

"Alright Tantomile," said Jenny, stepping back and smiling, "it looks like everything is fine, you are in good health and your kittens are growing well."

"Do you have any complaints?" asked Jelly.

"Well," begun Tantomile, looking like she was trying to hide something, "besides having to go pee every ten minutes and feeling sore all the time, I'm okay."

"Do you have any questions?" asked Jenny, noticing the look on Tanto's face.

Tantomile bit her lip and looked totally embarrased, but finally said, "The Jellicle ball is next month, and well... Tugger and I are becoming mates that night and I'll be moving into his den so... I was wondering if it's, you know, safe for us to um... consummate our union? Would it hurt the kittens?"

Jelly covered her mouth to stiffle a laugh and Jenny simply chuckled, although Tantomile didn't find it funny.

Jenny continued to chuckle as she nodded her head, before she finally said, "it's perfectly safe, just tell Tugger to be gentle. Really, it can be quite healthy to mate while pregnant, it's"-"That's all I wanted to know thanks," said Tantomile hurriedly, not really comfortable discussing this with anybody.

Jelly couldn't help but snicker a bit and asked knowingly, "has Tugger been acting crazy everytime he gets a wiff of you?"

Tantomile turned red at this and simply nodded, Jenny and Jelly did nothing to hide their amusement.

"That's typical," said Jenny, with a wide grin, "that's a typical tom for you."

When Tantomile finally got away from the two older queens and their attempts to tell her funny stories about their first pregnancies she went to go find Tugger. It was odd, walking through the junkyard without having the others stare at her, since her brother had disappeared, Munkustrap had told the tribe to stop bugging her. halfway there, she stopped and sat behind an old refrigerator, she slowly brought her paws up to her face and closed her eyes.

"Cori," she called, "the kittens are doing well, just so you know. I hope wherever you are, you are okay. And I hope you come back soon to be a good uncle to your future nieces and nephews." She sent out this message, using most of her psychic energy.

She slowly came out from behind the fridge, looking around to make sure nobody had seen her. She had told the rest of the tribe that she was doing alright since her brother had left, but really she was desparate for him to come back. She just couldn't let him go, and didn't want anybody to know that she was still obsessed over him.

When she got to Tugger's den, she found that he was outside laying in the sun on an old tire. She walked up to him on all fours because walking on two leggs was becoming difficult. She nuzzled his mane gently with her face and asked, "so, how is the most sought after and noble tom in the junkyard doing?" in the sophisticated sarcastic voice she so loved to use when addressing him.

He cocked his head to one side and sat up to face her. "Alright for now, although I got quite a shock earlier when I saw Etcetera, she's gone a little insane."

Tantomile laid down with a little help from Tugger and looked at him curiously, now completely distracted from the almost ever present thought of her brother.

"What's she doing that's insane?" she asked, hoping it was something funny.

Tugger grinned and said, "I knew I drove the queens wild and all, but I had no idea that any of them could be this crazy. Etcetera dyed herself all white and painted on leopard spots like mine and then she strung a bunch of catnip and tied it around herself and ran up to me and kissed me right on the mouth. I had to take her back to her parents because she was totally stoned from inhaling to much nip."

Tantomile was trying to do everything she could not to burst out laughing as Tugger continued. "When I got her back to Admetus and Exotica's, they had to carry her into the den and she yelled something about stealing a human queen's bakini and shaving all her fur off except her head fur if it would get me back."

Tantomile was in stitches by this time but realized it was really sad and even a little pathetic and quickly regained her composure.

Tugger watched her as she took some deep breaths and tried hard to keep from laughing. "It's funny, so just roll with it."

Tantomile shook her head, still trying to not laugh at the thought of a shaved Etcetera. "It's wrong to laugh at that, she could be throwing her life away to catnip. And it's not healthy for her to be so obsessed." A twinge of guilt passed through her as she said this last part, knowing she was really being a hypocrite when it came to being obsessed over someone.

Tugger shrugged this off and said, "she's a good kit, she just has some growing up to do, like me. Soon the novelty of being a fan queen will wear off and she'll get on with her life, they all do, but it's fun while it lasts. And besides, you know it would be hilarious if she did shave herself, I like it when you laugh, why is it you used to act so aloof?"

"Because," begun Tantomile, "Cori taught me that if I showed emotion, nobody would respect me. In fact, the day I took the pregnancy test was the first time I had actually cried in years. He wanted me to be respectable so it would reflect on him, so that meant I had to be stoic and unemotional. He always said that respect was what we deserved, because we were different."

Tugger sat up and looked at her, to him none of Cori's logic made any sense. "Your brother doesn't have a clue what he was saying! You know why I respect you Tanto? Because you've been so strong handling becoming a mother, coming to terms with it and accepting your situation and wanting to do better. You do take it really seriously, I still can't seem to pay attention in the classes we're in, they're boring, it takes a really serious parent not to fall asleep in them. I like how you're not afraid to be completely blunt and serious but you know how to make anything funny. Like, pregnant toms, what is it with you and pregnant toms? You're sarcastic like me, I like that! And even though I don't understand it most of the time, your existential perspective is interesting, the things you compare and find the meaning in. Like when you said the other night that you feel closer to the stars than the lights in the city. If you had been yourself, you would have had the all the toms just swooning over you."

Tantomile was kinda shocked, Tugger had never actually said what he liked about any queen besides superficial fluff until now, she decided to toy with him a little.

"It's a good thing toms can't get pregnant, there's no way they'd be allowed in any birthing class."

Tugger dropped back down onto his side closed his eyes. "Enough, enough, just no more of that. Please?" he pleaded comically.

"No," she said simply.

Tugger decided to completely ignore this and sat up and begun to fluff his mane, Tantomile slowly stretching out on the tire, smirking. Suddenly, Tantomile felt a pull on her mind and for the first time in weeks heard her brother: "Even if you choose him, I'm still coming back to find you. I won't tell you when I'm coming, you won't be expecting me when I show up."

Tantomile stared blankly into space as the message from her brother passed through her mind, only Tugger's voice bringing her back to reality.

"Tanto... is something wrong?" asked Tugger.

"No," said Tantomile, shaking her head, "I just thought I saw something, that's all."