Author's Note-- Last chapter was horrible wasn't it? Thank you so much for your reviews! I'm happy no one thinks I'm a total psycopath who gets off on rape. SO not the case. I've noticed a pattern in the reviews I recieve. I'm glad that intelligent people are reading this! :D I AM hinting at multiple personality disorder. Congrats to you all! Now, as a challenge to you...I want you to look up multiple personality disorder, then see how and why it develops. It's tragic...and yes, once you look it up and figure out the how and why, I will finally reveal how it developed. For now, we watch the mind of Derek and the tortured soul of Casey; until it starts affecting the rest of the family. (And for those who don't feel like going to search it I'll say it later when Casey finally figures it out. So it's not really a requirement.)
Disclaimer-- I own nothing.
Casey blinked a few times. There were dried flakes of eye juice lining her eye lids. She wiped it all away and sat up. Derek lay sleeping, facing the wall.
Her heart sank. The heaviest object seem to completely pass through the top of her brain and straight through her body. She couldn't scream. She couldn't cry. The only thing she felt was that heaviness, and some strange new empty feeling.
The world was different now. Casey looked around Derek's room. It's colorless…and dead. Casey took the cover off of her and stood. Instead of just her lower half being naked, she was entirely undressed; her clothes rested the side of his bed.
Just as she bent to grab her clothing something wet and slimy slid slow down her leg. She jumped and reached down to touch it.
Upon inspecting the fluid, Casey realized what it was. Ugh…That's…Oh my…god. He didn't even wear a…Casey grabbed her clothes and quickly walked to the bathroom, trying to be quiet; she didn't want him waking.
She locked the bathroom door and grabbed a washcloth. Desperately, she tried to clean herself. It wasn't enough. She threw the washcloth down and got into the shower.
The warm water didn't get him off good enough. She turned the cold down to make it hotter. Not hot enough. Casey made it hotter.
No matter how hot she made it, his hands were still touching her, his semen was still in her.
It was more than a rape of her body. It was a rape of her soul. Liberated Casey lay dead in the background and the true Casey wasn't the same.
I shouldn't have done that. I was doing just fine. There was nothing wrong with being predictable. It was a part of who I was…Now…I'm nobody. I'm not me, I'm not liberated…I'm nothing.
Nothing but Derek's toy that he uses to any need he wants to fulfill. Torture. Pranks. Jokes. Sex even. And there was a time I thought he was good…deep down. Turns out he was more evil beneath it all. I'll never stop it will I?
I have no one…
And it's all my fault.
The hot water started to sting her, so she turned the cold up.
Casey sat down and let the water pour over her. It felt as cold and lifeless as her heart felt, but it was little condolence to her.
She grabbed the soap and started washing in between her legs. It was the first chance she got a real look at her body. There were more bite marks on her neck, and some new ones on her breasts, lower stomach and on her inner thigh. Casey lightly washed them. Touching them hurt, and she knew that there were going to be bruises.
After her entire body was lathered in soap, Casey leaned her head back against the wall. What am I going to do? Is there anything I can do? Will he want to do this to me again…or will he toss me like a rag doll and expect me to deal with what he's done?
Her eyes wandered around the closed space of the bathtub, and a thought occurred to her.
He didn't use a condom! Which means, I could get pregnant! Her mouth was gaping open and she tried to breath. Weakly she stood under the shower to wash the soap and scum away.
When she was done she got out shakily and put her clothes on.
She stared at her reflection. Her eyes weren't there anymore. They were someone else's eyes. Cold, empty, and lifeless. Nothing that once was Casey were in that set of eyes.
And she had to live with them.
Angry at herself for letting Derek possibly impregnate her, she opened the mirror door and slammed it shut causing the medicine within to rattle.
Casey left the bathroom and stared at Derek's bedroom door. It seemed so far away, but much too close to comfort. The door was the gateway to hell and it held so many different monsters. She had smiled at that monster. She had laughed with that monster. She had tried on many occasions to hug that monster.
And instead of smiling at her; he cringed and turned away. Instead of laughing with her; he laughed at her. Instead of hugging her; he pushed her so far away she thought she did something wrong.
Instead of giving the simple things that she desired…he gave her something she never wanted. It was hers to keep, and for him…it would just be a memory that would fade away.
Because he never cared…and I was foolish to think he had a heart.