Mixed Feelings" – Part 11: "Missing You"
Title: "Mixed Feelings"
Author: ducainefanRating: M (to be safe)
Subject: H/C relationship
NOTES: This part of the story takes place during "Bang Bang, Your Debt." Again, it's kind of a "fill-in-the-blanks" for us DuCaine fans, since we have virtually no scenes of our favorite duo on-screen (Oh, and I refuse to count stupid scene in "Chain Reaction" – they didn't even interact!). I'm trying to keep this story as "Canon" as possible while still being DuCaine – which continues to be a big challenge. Thanks to everyone who's been following this – I'm glad to bring some DuCaine back into CSI:Miami and make it as plausible as possible. Your comments are inspiring and help me keep goin' with this one, even when DuCaine seems hopeless on-screen. Feedback is much appreciated – Please let me know what you think!
Part 11
Something was going on, and Calleigh Duquesne was going to get to the bottom of it. It didn't help that Eric Delko wouldn't talk to her, no doubt still hurting over her relationship with Jake Berkeley. She almost laughed at the irony of it all.
Several months ago, she had worried about how she was going to tell Eric about her and Horatio, and when she eventually did tell him, things hit the fan fast. But that mishap when Eric went toothing again— and got a knock on the head by Tobby Bender — had made him think Jake was the one she was seeing all along. Calleigh knew it was killing Horatio, lying to Eric and keeping their relationship a secret. But neither she nor Horatio would have to worry about that now.
"Hey, Officer Pretty," Jake drawled, coming up behind Calleigh, who was standing by the front desk, and shaking her from her thoughts.
"Jake," she smiled, still somewhat distracted. "Hey."
"Hey yourself," he said. "Thanks for a nice evening last night. You seemed pretty worked up."
"I, I know … I had a lot of things on my mind lately," she said, avoiding eye contact. "So, what's up?"
"Seems Delko found the possible murder weapon, outside the crime tape" Jake said. "Wonder how he missed it the first time."
"It can happen," she said defensively.
"Hey," he replied, holding up his hands, "I wasn't implyin' anything. What's goin' on with you?"
"Nothin'."
"Nothin'? C'mon Cal, I've known you for too long – I can tell when somethin's buggin' you."
"It doesn't matter…"
"It does to me," he said, leaning in close. "You matter to me."
"Jake, not at the lab, OK? Not again."
"I know, off-limits," he whispered. "But I want you to know I meant everything I said last night. And I'm glad you're movin' in with me. I mean, this past week … I felt like we were in Antigua again. Ever since we got back from there, you'd gotten kinda distant, but now … now it feels like I've got you back again, and I'm not lettin' you go this time."
Calleigh smiled back up at him. "So are you ready to get serious, Berkeley?"
"Oh, yea," he said in a low voice. "I'm ready."
"Jake I … I just don't want this to affect our working relationship, OK?"
"It won't," he said. "We're gonna be fine. You'll have me redoin' the place before I know it, I bet."
"Well, it could use a little southern charm," she smiled.
"Oh, it's got that," he said, raising his eyebrows. "Now, what's goin' on Calleigh."
"It's just, it's just Eric," she sighed.
"He jealous?" Jake smirked.
"It's not that …" she started.
"Then what?" he asked, placing his hand on her arm gently.
"It's—" Calleigh started answer, but stopped mid-sentence when she heard a familiar voice.
"Hey Calleigh! Calleigh," Eric called, walking toward her. He stopped when he saw Jake was with her. "Oh hey, I'm not interrupting anything, am I," he said, slightly annoyed.
"Not at all," Calleigh said kindly. "Whatcha got?"
"Well, I was about to head over to print this tubing, but H wanted me to find you first," he explained.
"What is it?" she asked, an edge to her voice. Horatio was sending Eric as a messenger boy, and it irritated Calleigh to no end. It was bad enough that he had ended their relationship — for her protection, he kept saying. But for him to avoid her like this just added insult to injury.
"He wanted me to ask you to check out Jessica Taylor's place, see what you find. Alexx thinks it might've been suicide."
"You don't sound so convinced," she replied.
"Well … I'm gonna wait and see what this tubing tells us. Think I'll let Coop get his feet wet on this one."
"Yea, he's been buggin' us about becomin' a CSI for a few months now," Calleigh said. "Let's see if he can cut it."
"We'll see," Eric said with a smirk.
"OK, well Jake and I are gonna head over to Jessica Taylor's place – we'll let you know what we find."
"Great," Eric said, slightly irritated. Calleigh sighed.
"Right … Listen, Eric, if you need anything, you give me a call OK?"
"I'm fine," he said defensively.
"OK," she said, turning with Jake to walk toward the elevator. "We'll be in touch."
------------------------------------
Usually, Horatio was on top of any case his team was investigating, but right now he was letting them take the lead on this one. He had other matters to attend to — particularly finding the SOB who put the bomb in Calleigh's car. And he already had a prime suspect.
"Aaron Schecter," Horatio said in a low voice, closing the blinds to the interrogation room in the prison. "It's been a long time."
"Do you want to tell me what this is all about, lieutenant, because I could have my old law professor down here faster than you could say 'gun shot residue.'"
"Oh, I met your old law professor, Aaron, as I'm sure you remember," Horatio said, giving him a grim smile. "I say I handled him fairly well, wouldn't you? I mean, you're here, aren't you?"
"Not for much longer, lieutenant," he smirked. "Haven't you heard? I'm about to get out on good behavior."
"Mmhmm, I have. Seems you've faired much better than your client, Ricky Murdoch, on that score."
"Ricky … Ricky was never very smart," Schecter replied, leaning back in his chair.
"Apparently not," Horatio said flatly, placing his hands on his hips. "He was killed not that long ago in here, if I'm not mistaken."
"That was unfortunate," Schecter said in his "professional" voice. "Random acts of violence abound in here. A man's got to know who friends are, if you know what I mean, lieutenant."
"I do," Horatio said, a bite to his tone. "Random acts of violence are all I see, Aaron."
"So I've heard," he replied, leaning over the table towards Horatio. His voice dropped to a low whisper. "You know, lieutenant, I was really sorry to hear about your wife and brother and all … and now your kid. Seems like you've got plenty of your own problems to deal with."
"So, you've been keeping tabs on me," Horatio said, restraining his anger.
"Oh, I'm a big fan," Schecter laughed. "And you know, if you really want a good defense lawyer for that little runt of yours, feel free to look me up once I get out of here."
"I wouldn't count on that," Horatio said.
"What are you talking about?" Schecter replied, giving a nervous laugh.
"Well, Aaron," Horatio began, circling the table, "it seems there's some evidence that indicates you were involved in my son's kidnapping."
"What? Another fiber, lieutenant?"
"I'm the king of fibers," Horatio whispered, leaning into his ear. "But … I'm also the king of DNA, Aaron, and yours was on my son's fist after the attack, so why don't you come clean with me before I put you in here for the rest of your life."
Schecter swallowed, looking down and to his right, away from Horatio. "You know, lieutenant, I think maybe your boy just up and attacked me. Maybe it was self defense."
"Defending yourself against a 16-year-old boy?" Horatio asked in a low tone. "I'm sure, what with your Ivy League education, you can come up with a better defense than that."
"You can't prove anything," Schecter said defiantly, shaking his head.
"That's what you said four years ago, Aaron," Horatio reminded him. "But I got you then, and I'm going to get you for this, too."
"I think I'm going to need to call my lawyer," Schecter replied, looking back at Horatio.
"Oh, I would agree," Horatio said.
"Terrific," Aaron spat. "Now is there anything else I can do for you, lieutenant?"
"There is actually," Horatio said, clenching his jaw and leaning in close. "I want to know who put the bomb in my CSI's car last week."
"You mean your girlfriend's car?" Schecter replied, looking at Horatio with an evil grin.
"Who did it?" Horatio asked, leaning into him.
"Now why would I know anything about that, lieutenant? There's hundreds of guys in here who don't necessarily like you. Why don't you go ask Memmo Fierro, or Joe LeBrock."
"Because I'm asking you," Horatio whispered in a tone that sent a chill down Schecter's spine. "And I'm not gonna ask you again. Who is after my CSI?"
"Well, I wish I could help," Schecter swallowed, "but I've got a phone call to make."
"I hope your old law professor fairs better this time, because the way I see it, with the evidence against you, you won't be getting out for quite some time. And that could bode pretty badly for a man who betrays someone like Joe LeBrock."
"Turn on LeBrock? I never … Are you threatening me lieutenant?"
"Word travels fast in prison, Aaron. Think about it."
"OK, lieutenant, I'll tell you this – I had nothing to do with that bomb."
"But you started the rumor right?"
"About you and that blond? Hell, that wasn't rumor, and you know it."
"Well, you're gonna fix this for me, Aaron. Right now."
"What do you want from me?"
"I want you to spread the word that Calleigh Duquesne is no longer seeing me. Got it?"
Schecter laughed again. "Lieutenant, in all honesty, whoever did this, they have eyes and ears on the outside. They'll know I'm lying."
"You won't be lying," Horatio said, unable to hide the regret in his voice.
"You're telling me you two are done?"
"I'm telling you you don't have to worry about it."
"Well, I'm gonna need more reassurance than that," Schecter said, giving a nervous chuckle.
"Then here," Horatio said, handing him a folder. "See for yourself."
Schecter opened the folder, raising his eyebrows. "You've been stalking her?" he asked, slightly surprised.
"No," Horatio said flatly. "But I think that should tell you enough."
"All I see is pictures of your cop holdin' hands with some greaseball outside an apartment complex."
"And that's all you're gonna see," Horatio said. "I just want everyone to know that she's moved on."
"On one condition," Schecter replied. "You lessen the kidnapping charge, and I'll let everyone know your favorite CSI ditched you. Maybe I'll even jazz it up a bit, you know? Just to convince them."
Horatio gave him a warning look. "Aaron, do not push me right now."
"Oh, hey, I just wanna help," Schecter said, holding up his hands. "I mean, maybe you couldn't get it up enough for her? That'd be a good enough story for the guys in here. And I'm sure I'd be able to convince them of that. I mean, just look at you. You're not exactly a young buck, are you, lieutenant?"
Horatio looked to the side, clenching his jaw. When he looked back, Schecter had a full-blown smile on his face. He wanted to wipe it right off.
"Yea," Aaron said, laughing in Horatio's face. "Yea, and that detective, she is quite a beauty. I don't know what she ever saw in you, but she looks like she could use a real man, you know? To take care of her needs, if you know what mean. I'm sure she's a hell of a —"
"HEY!" Horatio yelled, slamming his hand down on the table, barely restraining himself. Giving Schecter a death stare, Horatio continued in a low voice, "That's enough. Now you know what you have to do, so do it. And if anything happens to Calleigh, I'll make sure you never leave these walls, you understand me?"
"Loud and clear, lieutenant," Schecter swallowed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd still like to make that phone call."
"Nothing would make me happier," Horatio said angrily, putting on his sunglasses and walking out of the room.
--------------------------------------------------
Driving back from the prison, Horatio was about to call Calleigh for an update on the Jessica Taylor case when he hesitated. They hadn't spoken much since Horatio broke off their relationship, and it was killing him. He wanted to see her happy, but it was like watching Yelina go off with Rick Stetler all over again.
'No, no not Rick,' Horatio thought to himself. 'More like Raymond.'
Horatio shook his head, angry that he so jealous. And he still felt guilty about those photographs. He had asked Yelina to shadow Jake and Calleigh one evening – just to get a few pictures of them together, but nothing intrusive. When she asked him why, he felt he had no other choice but to come clean with her about everything.
"I can't lose her," he told Yelina. "And I need to make sure she's safe. If I can just circulate those pictures … maybe they'll be convinced, and maybe they'll back off."
"Horatio," Yelina began, tears in her eyes, feeling betrayed, "why didn't you tell me this before?"
"Well … umm … it, uh, it hasn't been easy," he sighed. "I wasn't really sure how to tell you."
"So is that why you haven't been coming around, at least not to see me?"
"That's a big part of it," Horatio admitted. "But it's over now."
"You say that, but I know you, Horatio. I can see it in your eyes, it's not over for you."
"I don't have a choice," he swallowed.
The ringing of his cell phone brought Horatio out of his memories. "Caine," he said, not looking at the number.
"It's me," Calleigh said in her familiar southern drawl. He hated to admit how much he missed the sound of her voice. "Just wanted to bring you up to speed on the case," she continued.
"What's goin' on?" he asked.
"I just had to inform Brandon Fox that his girlfriend is dead."
"He's awake?"
"Yea, Eric and I got back from the hospital. We're about to head out to question that guy Reynolds, the one you and Tripp talked to at Liberty Coast."
"That's interesting. I had a feeling about him …"
"The old Caine instinct, huh?" she said with an awkward chuckle.
"We'll see," Horatio replied in a light tone. It amazed him that, even though they weren't together anymore, she still could make him smile despite himself.
"Umm… Horatio," she started hesitantly, her voice dropping to a whisper.
"Yea?" he said, his voice cracking slightly out of nervousness.
"There's something else."
"What is it, Calleigh?"
"It's Eric," she said sadly. "I think something's going on."
"What happened?"
"He's been acting strange …"
"And?"
"And I think he's been … seeing things. I think it might have something to do with Speedle."
Horatio's heart skipped a beat at the sound of his former CSI's name. A memory of Speed hitting the ground, covered in blood, flashed before his eyes. He squeezed them shut, willing the painful memory away.
"Horatio? Horatio are you there?"
"I'm here," he rasped. "Why do you think this has anything to do with Speed?"
"Well," she started, "I'd seen him looking out on the beach today. He looked like he saw a ghost, and then in the Hummer …"
"What?" he asked, urging her to continue.
"I found Tim's credit card between the seats," she sighed, swallowing.
"His credit card?"
"Yea, I … I gave to Eric. I don't know, I don't know, Horatio. You and I … we saw him. He was … he was dead. But I don't think Eric believes that."
"He never saw the body," Horatio said, remembering how hard it had been when he thought Raymond died, how he hadn't viewed the body. And although it turned out that Ray was alive and well all that time, Horatio knew, unfortunately, that was not the same fate for Speed. But Eric didn't know that – he couldn't have. He'd never let himself view Speed's body.
"What do you want to do?" Calleigh asked.
"Stick with Eric, keep an eye on him, please," Horatio said. "Let's get through this case."
"OK … I'll keep you posted."
"Thank you," he rasped. "I'll be at the lab if you need me."
Hanging up, Horatio pulled over to the side of the road. Staring at the horizon, he flashed back to the jewelry store, to Speed coughing up blood.
'I can't … feel anything …'
Tears stung Horatio's eyes as he let the memories play.
'I know, just keep breathing, partner.' One last breath, then a convulsion … and then nothing.
"Speed," Horatio said out loud, his voice riddled with grief. He could still remember the distinct scent of Speed's aftershave as it mixed with the smell of his blood, which pooled around his friend. He had checked one last time for a heartbeat. All he got was covered in blood. More blood on his hands.
Closing his eyes tightly, Horatio bowed his head, pushing back the tears. This time, the memories would not go away. In his mind, he heard another shot, and saw Eric lying in a pool of his blood – just like Speed.
"Eric," he said sadly, realizing what was happening. "I think you might need to get help, my friend," Horatio thought out loud, shaking his head. Opening his eyes, he gathered himself together and headed back to the lab. He'd have to have a serious conversation with Eric once this case was closed.
-------------------------------------------------
"H!" Dan Cooper called as he ran up to Horatio, who had just stepped out of the elevator.
"Woa, slow down," Horatio said. "What is it?"
"Shots were just fired at Dade University!"
"That's where Eric and Calleigh are," Horatio said, a tinge of panic in his voice.
"I know!" Cooper replied.
Horatio immediately raced to the front desk. "Turn that up, officer," he said, gesturing toward the police radio. It was Calleigh, and Horatio's heart dropped.
"This is CSI Duquesne, we have shots fired at Dade University!"
Horatio could hear commotion in the background, and then heard Eric.
"Calleigh, you alright?" Eric yelled.
Horatio swallowed, praying that they were both unharmed. He never heard the reply.
"She must've clicked off her radio," Horatio said, thinking out loud, hoping that's what it was. "Mr. Cooper, if anyone asks, I'm at Dade University, got it?"
"Yes, sir," Cooper replied, watching his boss forgo the elevator and run toward the stairs.
-------------------------------------
"Calleigh!" Horatio called, seeing her bent down on the ground. "Calleigh, are you alright?" There was an urgency in his voice, almost a panic. She looked up immediately.
"Horatio?" she said, standing up. "I … yea, I'm fine. I was just checking for shell casings." Horatio looked her up and down, unconsciously checking for injuries. "You gawkin' at me, lieutenant?" she asked in a playful tone. He looked up, confused. "Hey," she said softly, "I said I was fine."
"Sorry," he said, looking down.
"No, it's … that was sweet," she smiled. "And no, Eric's not hurt … at least not from anything that happened today."
"Is he still acting strangely?"
"He said something about Speed while we were checking out the crime scene. I don't know, Horatio. I think you ought to talk to him."
"Have you spoken to him about this?"
"Oh, I tried, a couple of times, but he's not exactly thrilled about … well, you know."
"Oh, I … I see," Horatio said awkwardly.
"Yea, so … so I'll let you know what we find."
"Any evidence that this was related to our case?"
"Well I'm assuming it is — our main suspect just ended up dead. Why wouldn't it be related?"
"You know, you're probably right. Don't worry about it."
"Horatio … are you thinking this might be connected to that bomb in my car last week?"
"No, I … I took care of that."
"You took care of it?" she asked, a hint of annoyance in her tone. "And how exactly did you do that?"
"Don't worry about it, Calleigh," he said, turning to leave. "I'm going to go back to the hospital and —"
"No, you're gonna tell me what's going on. Right now." Her eyes bore into him.
"Calleigh … I, uh—"
"Hey H," Eric called, running up to them and breaking up the conversation. "I think I might've got something."
"What is it?" Horatio asked, relieved that Eric had interrupted.
"Well it's … it's just a leaf, but I think it might have some evidence on it."
"Nice work," he said, glancing back at Calleigh, who was still staring him down. "I'm gonna touch base with our boy Brandon and see what he's hiding about all this."
"Fine," Calleigh said, trying to hide the fact that she was upset, but doing a bad job of it.
"To be continued," Horatio promised before walking away.
Eric looked at Horatio, then back at Calleigh. "What'd he say to piss you off?" Eric half-laughed.
"It's what he didn't say," she sighed, not realizing she'd spoken out loud.
"Huh?" Eric asked, confused.
"Don't worry about it, it's fine. Let's try and reconstruct this scene, OK?"
"Sounds like a plan," Eric replied.
-------------------------------------------------------
"It should be Jessica sitting here." Those words, spoken by Brandon Fox, still rung in Horatio's head. As he drove back to the lab, he thought about how many times that phrase crossed his own mind.
'It should be Speed sitting here. It should be Raymond sitting here. It should Marisol sitting here. It should be my mother sitting here.'
He thought about these things almost every day, before he went to bed at night. He also realized that the only time these painful thoughts left him was when he was Calleigh.
'I almost lost her today,' he thought to himself. Calleigh had just called Horatio to let him know that they nailed Brandon for Reynolds's murder. While it put his mind at ease knowing that it wasn't some sniper out to kill Calleigh, the thought of her caught in another crossfire made him cringe.
Horatio always knew the job was dangerous. That's why he shied away from getting involved with other cops. You never knew who would be next. Speed's death had brought that reality home to his team – and it hit them hard. None of them had really recovered from it. They'd moved on, but the memories remained.
He parked his car in his usual spot at the crime lab and sat there, processing everything. Despite his most valiant efforts, Horatio knew he could never protect Calleigh completely. Her job was to protect and serve, just like his, and she, too, would give her life if it meant saving one innocent person.
"What did I do?" he sighed out loud, pinching the bridge of his nose and shutting his eyes. "What did I do?"
-------------------------------------------
"So you want me to help you load some stuff in your Hummer tonight?" Jake asked Calleigh as they walked out of the crime lab.
"You know I don't get to take the Hummer home with me," she laughed.
"Oh, c'mon," he whined playfully. "It's only one night."
"Jake Berkeley, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were tryin' to get me fired," she smiled.
"Well you know it's not gonna all fit on my bike," he replied smartly. She gave him a look, and he laughed. "OK, OK," he said in defeat. "I tell you what. I'll borrow a truck from a friend of mine and we'll get this goin', OK?"
"What about my cappuccino machine?" she asked sweetly.
"Hmm … If it makes you happy, I guess I could arrange that after all."
"Well aren't you sweet," she said with a smile.
Heading toward the steps of the crime lab, Horatio stopped in his tracks as he saw the two of them, watching the conversation unfold. They were laughing, smiling. And it turned his stomach. He wanted to hide, but there was nowhere to go, and in a matter of seconds, Calleigh had noticed him.
"Horatio?" she asked, calling to him.
"Hey," he said awkwardly, walking toward them. "Detective Berkeley."
"Evenin', lieutenant," Jake replied.
"You heading home?" Horatio asked, turning to Calleigh.
"I was about to. Did you need me?"
The irony of her question was not lost on Horatio. Of course he needed her. He wanted more than anything to tell her what a big mistake he'd made, how he wanted her back. But seeing Calleigh and Jake together, and seeing her smile again … he didn't want to jeopardize her chance at happiness.
"Umm … I think we're OK," he said, nodding his head.
"OK," she replied. "You know, Jake, why don't we talk about this later, OK? I'll see you tonight."
"Alright," Jake said hesitantly, realizing she was asking him to leave. "8 o'clock OK?"
"Perfect," she said, nodding her head with a smile.
"Alright, then, Officer Pretty," he smirked. Horatio noted the cringe Calleigh tried to hide.
"Later," Calleigh called, giving a wave as Jake walked away.
"You ever gonna tell him how much you hate being called 'Officer Pretty'?" Horatio asked.
"We'll work it out," Calleigh said. "That's what people who care about each other do, you know. Work things out."
"Right," Horatio swallowed.
"Listen, Horatio, I didn't send Jake out so I could rail on you. I just wanted to tell you that you need to talk to Eric. I'm really worried about him."
"He still having problems?"
"This credit card thing … he says the card's been active. I think he's convinced that Tim's still alive."
"But we know different, don't we?" Horatio rasped. Memories of their embrace flooded both their minds as they looked down, unable to meet each other's gaze.
"We do," Calleigh said in a low voice, looking up. "But Eric doesn't."
"I'll talk to him. Where is he?"
"In the locker room," Calleigh rasped. "When I left, he was staring at Speed's locker."
"His locker …"
"You know, the one you said you didn't need help cleaning out," she replied, more harshly than she intended. "Oh, Horatio, I'm sorry, I just … this is all —"
"I know, it's OK," he said gently, reaching out to touch her cheek. She looked at him, confused, and he stopped himself. "Now I'm the one who's sorry," he said.
"No, Horatio—"
"Let me find Eric," he said. "And thank you for looking out for him."
"It's what I do," she replied.
"I know," he rasped. "I'll see you."
"Not if I see you first," she said, giving him a small smile before walking away. Horatio was left standing alone on the steps, but he knew his heart had left with Calleigh.
------------------------------------------------------------
"Son-of-a-bitch," Calleigh hissed as she walked out of the bar. Eric had driven off, fuming with rage. She'd just given Dan Cooper a piece of her mind, but she was still incredibly angry. Running her fingers through her hair, she paced the sidewalk, trying to calm herself down. The slamming of a car door caught her attention.
"Calleigh?"
"Horatio," she sighed.
"What's goin' on?"
"I can't … I can't believe this… it was Dan Cooper. He stole Speedle's credit card from his locker."
"Is he still inside?"
"I told him he had 24 hours to turn himself in before I put out a warrant for his arrest."
"You mean you left him alive?" Horatio asked, giving her a small smile.
"How can you joke about this?" she said, more exasperated than angry.
"I didn't, it wasn't meant to … I know how much hurts, Calleigh. I guess I was just thinking of what Speed might say about all this."
"You mean like, 'Only an AV tech would rip a credit card off a dead guy'?" she said, smiling through her tears. She missed Tim Speedle terribly, especially at times when they could use a good laugh.
"Something like that," Horatio said, looking around. "Where's Eric?"
"He drove off. I don't know how he didn't clobber Cooper."
"Did he say where he was going?"
"No, but I have a pretty good idea."
"Me too. Care to join me?" Horatio asked.
"I … I don't think so," she replied. "You two are close and … and I don't think he feels comfortable around me anymore."
"I don't think that's true," he said. "He knows he can trust you."
"It's Jake … you know how Eric's been …"
"I understand," Horatio replied with sigh.
"He really looks up to you, anyway … I think he'll listen to you, if you talk to him."
"Things are never easy for us, are they?"
"I doubt they ever will be," she said, shaking her head, tears stinging her eyes. "You know I … I really miss Tim."
"I know," Horatio swallowed. "I miss him, too. Every day."
"Wonder what he would've said about us, huh?"
"Us?"
"I mean … when we were, you know…"
"Yea, I um …"
"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to make things awkward. I just, I was thinking about how Tim would probably get a kick out of it, you know? Maybe tease you about goin' to Artie's Playground or whatever." They both laughed nervously.
"So," Horatio started, "are you, I mean I just wanted to know …"
"What, Horatio?"
"Are you happy? With Jake, I mean."
"I … I'm getting there," she said carefully. "Besides, I've always had a soft spot for bad boys."
"I noticed," Horatio said, raising his eyebrows.
"I mean, I wasn't talking about you, I … oh, let's just call it a night, OK? It's been a long day and I don't even know what I'm sayin' anymore."
"Yea, I … I should get to the cemetery," Horatio said sadly.
"You'll do fine," she said reassuringly, patting his arm.
"Thank you," he smiled.
"Good night," she said softly, brushing past him and walking toward her car. As he watched her walk away, he wondered how he would ever get along without her.