My period of being super busy is just about over! It turns out I lied about getting a bunch of chapters written ahead of time. Instead of doing that, I just started a new fic, as if I don't have enough to do already *manic, sleep deprived laughter*. Despite Ramadan (I am sorry) there is more than the usual amount of swearing in this chapter which I needed to write because it is a thing that needed to happen. If it provides any comfort to whoever might be reading this and celebrating I did wait until after sundown and I didn't say anything out loud.

Prentiss had to do a double take when she saw Reid walk through the doors that morning. His eyes were trained to just above the floor, unblinking, and he was holding his coffee with elbow bent mechanically at ninety degrees perfectly straight in front of him, feet barely lifting from the floor. Without moving her eyes from him she clumsily get up from her desk to go see him where he had stopped moving just inside. He looked like he was in shock.

"Reid. Reid, are you okay? What happened?" She moved herself right in front of his face in an attempt to break his gaze, but his eyes stayed where they were, concentrated on anything.

Surprisingly, he responded monotonously, "I'm going to be fired. This is going to be my last day. I'm done for. I'm done."

Prentiss searched his stoic face for clued but found none, "Why do you think that?" She placed a hand on his back and shoulder and guided him to his own desk.

"I have to take the physical. I can't. I've already failed. I've already failed." He practically fell into his chair, nothing but his knees to bend moving.

"You've gotten physicals waved before, haven't you? Didn't you say that when you were first hired you failed every physical but they brought you in anyway? If I were to guess, I'd say that would happen again. You've proved your usefulness and intelligence. Everyone knows we need you." Prentiss sat on the corner of his desk, appealing to the logical side that always was more of a comfort to Reid than emotional assurance.

"Hotch made this one sound important. And the things I failed last time weren't weight requirements, they were stupid things like push-ups and miles. This time it actually matters. The one time it matters I've fucked up." Before Prentiss could respond, Reid snapped out of his trance and jumped up, throwing his thankfully empty cup across the room with something only describable as rage that she had never seen on him before and he shouted "I am such a fuck up!"

Prentiss was too startled to move.

"Reid. My office. Now." Hotch glared from just outside his door, worry invisible because of the distance growing behind his presented anger.

Reid ghosted through the silence of the room, eyes delving into him. He shook when Hotch's office door closed.

"What was that?" Hotch demanded, though he couldn't quite make his voice sound like it was a demand.

"I am a fuck up." Reid didn't sit down. He had gone back into the state that looked like shock. "My whole career... I threw it away because... because... because I don't know why. Because I fucked up. Because I am a-"

"If you swear one more time-"

"What? You'll fire me?" Reid broke his gaze at nothing to lock eyes with his boss, "That's already going to happen. It's already happening. This job is all I have, Hotch."

Hotch sighed and looked around the room for something to say, "I know. I'm sorry. Trust me when I say I will do whatever I possibly can to make sure you keep this job. As much as we need you I do care about you more, and I believe that you not being on the team would only lead to bad things for everyone."

Reid gulped something down and made his eyes water, "Thank you."

Come two o'clock, Reid was sitting at his desk, going through the motions like normal, already haven taken the test.

Prentiss rolled her chair over, "Hey, how are you?"

Reid looked up and looked his coworker up and down, hands with papers in them paused mid page flip, "Fine, I guess?" He looked back down and finished turning the page.

"Really?" That earned her a sharp look from the younger agent. "Sorry, I just meant that you seemed... not fine this morning."

"Sorry about that." There was an uncomfortable while of silence where Prentiss thought it rude to scoot back away and Reid seemed to have nothing to say. Until he did:

"Um, Prentiss?" He set down the papers and looked at hers slowly.

"Yeah?" She answered casually, but was ready to be bombarded with some internal conflict or another.

"I don't." Reid took a small breath, "I don't remember whatever you were referring to when you said 'this morning.' I actually have no memory of today between the time I left my house and about fifteen minutes ago. And I'm pretty sure I wasn't drugged or hypnotised or hit or anything like that." Reid's eyebrows involuntarily twitched together when he said the words "I don't remember" that were so foreign to him.

Prentiss sat still with her eyes open as wide as her mouth looking for words, "I..."

"Don't tell me what happened. I think there's a reason my brain is protecting me from it. After everything I've seen I can't imagine what would've hurt me enough to make me forget." Reid averted his eyes in shame. He had an idea what it was.

"In itself the thing wasn't horrible, you were just really freaked out." Prentiss tried to be comforting so Reid wouldn't think his mom had died or something.

"Okay, just tell me this... Have I been fired? Say yes or no only." He swallowed down hard.

"No." Prentiss abode by Reid's term and kept everything else to herself.

Reid sighed in relief, but was still worried about what must've freaked him out so much. For now, all he could do was hope it wasn't something completely life-altering and keep working as normally as usual knowing that his memory could fail him. It had actually been doing that a lot recently.

"Do you think eidetic memories can, I dunno, fade away?" Reid asked.

"Like I said, you were just really freaked out. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

"No, but before today. Things have been going missing. Little patches from long ago that I haven't revisited, and nearer things, even whole days have been clouded over for me. I don't know what to do. If you're about to suggest undernourishment then I'll tell you that I have done so much worse to myself before and it had almost no effect on my memory." Reid brought himself to hold her eyes the whole time he was speaking. He could feel the worry spilling through them like hot water out of two dark caves drenching him.

"I'm sure you'll be fine." She said one second too late. "I should get back to work." She rolled back away.

Reid decided on another experiment.

Turns out I was wrong about having a lot of free time to update. Sorry... I wrote this over a period of a few days so I hope there were no inconsistencies. I've made a few new acquaintances from the comments so if you're looking for someone to just chat with I'm open. This fic will get back to hardcore focus on ED hopefully next chapter. I'm planning a sequel of a different theme (hint: the last conversation of this chapter) that will continue with some ED and depression stuff but won't focus on the ED part. I wasn't even going to finish this chapter until I got denied a high level math class I wanted to take and no job I applied for wanted me. That depression was such inspiration. Let's hope I continue having shitty days so I can actually post. Maybe I'll get a NASA application. I'll definitely be declined for that.