Severus' POV:
I stood there in shock. My hand reached up to my cheek, slowly tracing the place where Valentina's plump lips had rested. She kissed me. She kissed Severus Snape. Why? It did not seem in her nature to go around flaunting such affections to whom ever is nearest. Could it possibly be that she felt the same for me as I felt for her? I snorted, shaking my head. What a ridiculous thought. She would never feel the same! I am below her! Furthermore, a girl as visually appealing and intelligent as her deserves someone worthy of her, which I am not. Not even close!
Sighing heavily, I place my hand back at my side and went back down the hallway I came from, robes billowing ominously behind me. My long strides quickly took me to the dungeons. I entered the door to my classroom, slamming it forcefully behind me as I made my way to an worn oak desk, the glossy varnish long gone from the countless years of use. I sat down on the matching chair, leaning back as it groaned in protest of the weight put on it.
Clasping my hands in front of me and resting them on my stomach, I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. No matter how hard I tried, I was unable to block out all of the thoughts that swirled around like a violent storm in my brain. Every time I tried to focus, her face would appear in my head. Her rosy cheeks, plump lips, silky hair... They distracted me from everything. From life.
This girl could take away the pain of my past and replace it with something new and exciting! I loved how she could take charge and control those around her, but then she was so fragile at times and needed someone to rely on. She was mature and wise beyond her years, hardened by the tumultuous nature of her childhood. She understood pain better than even him. She was so much like him except for the fact that she was not as adept at hiding her emotions. Yes, she could clear her mind and remain expressionless for short periods of time, but then she snaps.
I sighed again, rubbing my face with my hands. Why did I even offer to teach her? Why did I torture myself with these things? The confusion I was feeling threw me off. I was usually sure of everything. Trying to distract myself from thoughts of the young woman, I settled on preparing for my next lesson, sorting out my lesson plan and notes on the table before me.
Moving over a large stack of papers that needed to be graded, my gaze landed upon one that was written by a first year. The name was Harry Potter. Lily's son was here at Hogwarts. For years I had both dreaded and eagerly awaited the day when he arrived. I was disappointed when I saw that his appearance and personality were much like his father's, though he had Lily's eyes. They were a startling green with flecks of gold dispersed throughout, grabbing your attention easily.
This boy, just like his father, would become a famous teenage heartthrob sooner or later. I had to admit that I was still jealous of James Potter, though he was long gone. I always wished that I could take back what I said to Lily that day, and maybe we would have been something more than friends, but now I wasn't so sure. Did I really want Lily as mine? She didn't get me like Valentina did. She didn't understand the pain that I faced. She didn't know just how much I was hurting. I wasn't sure whether or not I was jealous of James for getting Lily, but I knew that James was a pompous prick that was completely self-centered.
I paused in my thinking, realizing that no matter how I tried, my thoughts still come back to Valentina. I had stopped sorting through my papers and was just sitting and staring at the wall. I looked around, realizing that there were students in the room. I quickly stood, clearing my throat, and began the lesson.