Disclaimer: Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

Author: Hey, everybody! No, I'm not a zombie, I'm lazy. Well, last time we left off with Eddy, he had just uncovered an assassination plot. The twist? It's an assassination plot… to kill HIM! Oh, and last chapter (the one featuring Ed) was chapter ten not chapter eight. Sorry about the error.

Chapter Eleven- Four Days till the McRich Homeless People Charity Parade of DOOM!

Eddy stared at the paper. "No, this can't be right. It can't say assassination. It can't! It must say- assistance! Yeah, that's right! They want to assist me because I am such a great person! And even if it is an assassination plot, it can't be mine!"

Eddy's hand instinctively flipped the paper with the stages listed on it over. A detailed description of his assassination greeted his eyes. Apparently, eleven days before the McRich Charity Parade, Eddy would do his monthly update of his will. Eddy paused, and looked at the date of the Parade. It was in four days, so the will had already been updated.

Apparently, Eddy had his own float in the parade. At the beginning of the parade, Eddy would walk from the inside to the top of the float, and do his special routine of throwing out bundles of cash to the people in the sidelines. (This was everyone's favorite part of the parade.) Around the middle, Eddy would start a speech stating how there were too many homeless people, and his future plans to bring the homelessness rate down from the current rate of 9 to 0.

As Eddy would reach a middle part of the speech, a woman by the name of Rachel Motstrugaa would collect a gun from her ex-husband, Rolf…

Eddy paused. "Rolf?" He was surprised that Rolf existed in this universe. "Rolf is in on this? I always assumed Kevin or Sarah would do something like this…."

… Rachel would deliver this gun to Derrick Rosomon, who, Eddy figured out relatively quickly, was the father of Ilene and Irene Rosomon. Derrick Rosomon, would be on the top of a WalK-Mart, the perfect place to position his gun….

The next part he read scared him the most. Eddy's speech and the parade would end with Eddy declaring a dance, and Lady Allith's oldest adopted daughter, Lee Kanker Allith, would be his partner. The dance would be cut short, however, when Derrick Rosomon shot both Lee and Eddy.

During the funeral, Lady Allith would read Eddy's will. Eddy's will included a LARGE amount of money given to Lee, and Allith would take this money for the Eddy McRich Assassination Plot….

Suddenly, Eddy heard the slight shuffle of feet walking against dirt from behind him. He heard a tough voice growl, "Kevin, collect the papers for me."

"Yes, sir," a voice Eddy never thought he would be relieved to hear snarled. Kevin did exist in his universe… but was he plotting to assassinate him, like Rolf?

"That is Sir Derrick Rosomon to you, servant."

"And why should I call you that?" Kevin's voice snapped, angrier than usual.

"… With a clap of my hands you could be left starving on the streets again, servant." Derrick Rosomon's voice said, dangerously quiet.

Kevin's voice squeaked as he said, "Yes, Sir Derrick Rosomon." Eddy then heard Kevin running down the old stairs-

Old stairs! How could Eddy have missed those in this tiny basement? That was when Eddy realized he needed to hide…. So, his legs decided it was the perfect time to freeze up, of course.

Eddy watched as Kevin, who was wearing a butler's uniform (Eddy almost had to stifle a laugh) and dark sunglasses, approached the room. Eddy gulped- he was just out of Kevin's sight. "That's weird," he saw Kevin mumble. "The weird hidden meeting room thing is already open."

Eddy froze. Kevin walked right up to Eddy, but suddenly took a step toward the table. Eddy blinked- Kevin hadn't seen him at all! Eddy quickly looked down at his hands to make sure he wasn't turning invisible or something crazy.

"Darn it, are these Rosomon's papers? Fricken, stupid, evil disease. I'm practically going blin-" Kevin suddenly froze. "Is someone there?"

Eddy stood up straighter and held his breath. Kevin stared in his direction, seeming to notice Eddy for the first time. Eddy started to panic- Kevin was going to attack him, he knew it!

"I never did understand why these freaks have a McRich dummy down here. I don't get why they meet here, either," Kevin mumbled. He turned back to the papers and swiftly picked them up. "I don't think McRich would keep his dogs in this room."

Muttering, Kevin left the basement, walking up the stairs. Eddy finally allowed himself to breath- Kevin hadn't seen him at all. But why? Kevin had said something about a disease-

Eddy blinked. He was sure he heard Kevin and Derrick Rosomon walking away. Eddy took one last look at the room behind him, and ran to the elevator as quick as he could.

The elevator opened with a ping. Eddy jumped in, shaking as realization hit him truly: in four days, he would be dead. Eddy pressed the second level button, and, as the doors closed, yelled desperately, "FAY! GET ME OUT OF HERE! What do you want me to say? I shouldn't be so greedy? FINE! I DON'T WANT MONEY ANYMORE; JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

His pleads were only heard by the elevator walls. Suddenly, the elevator door opened, and Eddy stepped out-

-and right onto a butler's foot. "Sorry," Eddy whispered, hardly paying attention. He took a step forward- he was stuck here, in this terrible parallel universe in which he was so rich he had an assassination planned. Eddy should have listened to Double D, back when he said, "We should be heading home, or we'll waste a perfectly good summer's day."

"Sir Eddy?" He heard Kevin ask from behind him. Eddy quickly turned around, realizing that the foot he had stepped on was Kevin's.

"Uh, um-" Eddy paused, stammering. "Y-yes?"

"What were you doing down there, Eddy? I thought you hated the basement, you being allergic to dust and all," Kevin said casually. There was something else in his voice too, something Eddy didn't recognize… at least, not directed at him. Friendliness? Was Kevin being friendly toward Eddy?

Eddy laughed shakily. "I do hate that basement," he said. Ha, I can say that again…

"Are you okay?" Kevin asked, noting the waver in Eddy's voice. "You sound like you saw a ghost!"

"More like an assassination plot," Eddy mumbled.

"What?" Kevin said, concern filling his voice. "Did you say something about assassination?"

Before Eddy could respond, he heard someone call his name. Eddy turned around to see one of the scariest things he had ever seen….

He saw (the horror)… Lee Kanker… with her hair combed…in a silk dress! Before the realization that Lee was in a dress fully kicked in Eddy's mind, Lee was already hugging him. "Oh, Eddy, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!"

Eddy blinked. Lee's voice didn't have its usual tough-girl tone, and her hug wasn't actually choking Eddy. What kind of universe was this? A blind Kevin and a nice Lee?

Two other girls ran up. Eddy recognized both of them as the girl he had seen earlier… Irene Rosomon… or, in this case, Irene and Ilene Rosomon. "Well, looks like you've found him," one of the girls said in a joking tone.

"Wait, Eddy, what did you say before?" Kevin interrupted.

Eddy chuckled. "Oh, nothing! Nothing at all!"

Kevin gave him a look that, even through his sunglasses, said he didn't believe him. Eddy chuckled, again, nervously.

"Is something wrong, Eddy?" Lee asked in a syrupy worried tone. Again, what kind of universe was this?

"Er," Eddy said.

"Hey, Eddy, there's no need to-" one of the twins was saying. However, she was interrupted.

"Sir Eddy Skipper McRich!" Eddy shuttered. Would this bad day ever end?

He turned around slowly to look at one of his assassinators… Lady Allith. "Eddy Skipper McRich, do you have any clue how much trouble you are in?"