Disclaimer: I don't own twilight.
(BPOV)
"Bella come down here, please?" Charlie called from downstairs. I rolled myself out of bed and glanced at my alarm clock beside my bed. The traitorous thing read 6:03 AM. What did he want to talk to me about so fucking early in the morning?
Rubbing my eyes I cautiously sauntered down the stairs taking care in not falling. Even though I had been sleeping the whole night without nightmares I still felt like I had only got a few minutes of sleep; leaving me a little incoherent today. But a soon as I walked into the living room I was shook to life by the scene in front of me. Charlie was loading his shot guns into his black, carry all, police marked bag. There were boxes and boxes of ammunition and a little sliver case with syringe type bullets with colourful ends lying on the kitchen table. Tranquilisers?
"What's going on?" I asked my anxious looking dad, voice laden with sleep.
Charlie let out an extended sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose before turning to face me. His eyes blurred with unshed tears. "I need you to stay out the woods and in this house at all times," his voice heavy with concern as he pointed to the floor. He placed his hands on his hips and turned towards the back door. "A couple went missing last night; eye witness said he saw the couple standing next to their car near the woods. When he came back out the ice cream parlour they were gone. The car doors were open and there was a grey wolf…or bear at the edge of the forest" he paused for a minute taking in deep breaths like he was about to hurl. "Their baby girl was put into a foster home last night…I need you to stay out of the woods. Do you hear me?" his voice cracked towards the end of the sentence.
"Yes" I whispered. All my fault the little voice inside me screeched. I tried to cover my ears to keep me from hearing the voice. But the voice was inside me already. I tried shaking the voice out but that didn't conceal the fact that I had effectively taken someone's life again. All my fault.
"We've set up a team to track it down. Don't call me on my cell, if you need me. Call the station they'll relay the message, okay? I'll be home at night." And with that he picked up his guns and left me standing alone and cold in the house. I was putting more people at risk every minute she was out there looking. I was putting my family and friends at risks even people I didn't know. What was the baby's fault? Why was she left alone in the world? You! All my fault.
It was all my fault. But I wouldn't take responsibility of not letting the pack know of Charlie's team. I needed to let them know, so no one else would get hurt.
Racing up the stairs I launched myself across my bed to my phone on the night stand. I violently forced the phone open like it had offended me and called Jake's mobile. But the phone rang out. I dialled again.
"Pick up, pick up, pick up. Damit Jacob, pick up the phone" I growled into the air.
"Bella?" Jake's gruff voice travelled through the phone.
"They know. Charlie knows about the pack, he hunting the pack" I rushed out in one bid breath.
"Whoa, whoa. Slow down. Charlie knows?" he asked confused.
"Yes Jake, he knows. And he's out in the wood with other people hunting you with guns and tranquilisers. Tranquilisers Jake! Fucking tranquilisers!" I shouted the last part.
"Calm down Bella. It'll be okay. I'll let the pack know, don't worry about it. We'll handle it." He soothed with his velvet voice, trying to trick me into believing him. But I wasn't about to fall for it. He had assured me last night that it was nothing to worry about. Guess he missed out the part where a baby was orphaned!
"But Ja-" he cut me off.
"We'll handle it" he outright growled at me and hung up the phone before I could offer to help. Fine! I'll find my own way.
My stomach was in knots and my heart heavy as I stepped into the shower to wash away the feeling of suffocation and guilt. There was something I could do anything. Every problem had a solution so why couldn't I think of anything to help. And then I remembered.
I knew how I could help the pack. Make sure that Charlie was safe, Jake was safe and everyone that matter to anyone was safe. That's all I wanted was for everyone to be safe.
Getting ready for school was a mechanical process and as always I skipped breakfast. I grabbed my bag by the door and skipped to the truck painfully cautious of the forest surrounding my house. I knew I was fairly safe with the pack hunting Victoria but they couldn't be everywhere at once. But now they also had to keep an eye on the people out in the depth of the forest hunting the pack; the one thing that could save them for the supernatural force of vampires.
This meant that Victoria had a higher chance of getting to me, while the pack was distracted. I could end it now. Just walk out into the forest, wonder around for a little. She'd get to me eventually, so why delay the process? Why should Jake get hurt or anyone else for the matter, they did nothing wrong. Why was my life more valuable than theirs? The truth was that my life wasn't as precious.
The people that had gone missing were someone's son, brother or father someone's sister, aunt or mother. No one was reliant on me. Charlie would be upset but he lived the without me before. He could live without me again. And as for my mother I doubt she would care at all. She had Phil; she had someone there for her.
I pulled into the car park at school and it felt like all eyes were on me. They probably were! Ever since the Cullens left, I had been the schools hot gossip topic. I thought the little sniggers and stares would die down after a while but I guess the Cullens were unforgettable. Ignoring the groups of girls whispering my name I trudged to my locker were Angela and Jessica rushed towards me.
"Morning" they both greeted rather sullenly.
"What's wrong" I enquired shoving books into my locker so my bag wasn't heavy with books I didn't need until later.
"Nothing" Jessica supplied rather a little rushed.
"Hmm" I groaned shutting my locker. They both looked at each other and then back to me, leaning against the lockers. I knew the looks they had just shared and without meaning to they had just spoken a thousand words.
"Lauren" I stated confidently. I had just about had enough of her. She'd taken an unhealthy interest in my life lately and it was getting on my last nerve. She was going out of her way to make my life harder than it already was. Believe me there was no fucking need and it was really starting to piss me off. Maybe I could channel my lost inhibitions and slap her like I had squared up to the pack alpha and slapped the most volatile wolf of the bunch. In my books that made me a badass and I sniggered maliciously at he looks on the girls' faces.
Shaking my head at their confused and slightly concerned expressions, I pushed past them to my first class just down the hall.
"Bella wait!" Angela called from behind me. "Don't take it to heart" she offered supportively when I turned round to look at them. I nodded my head mutely and made my way to English. I class the, unfortunately, shared with Lauren.
I walked in the classroom buzzing with excitement. Everyone was huddled in the middle of the room around a girl who animatedly explained something to them. The people I could see had mirth shinning in their eyes.
"Oh, hey Bella" Laurens voice announced laced with amusement. The whole class stopped listening with rapt attention to Rose and turned to me instead.
17 pairs of eyes flickered between me and Lauren expectantly. Though I wasn't quite sure what they were expecting to happen. So I zoned in on my desk and took a step towards it. But Lauren stepped in front of me, blocking my path.
"So, Bella. What have you been doing lately?" she started.
"Nothing that concerns you" I coated my voice with as much venom as I could conjure.
"Come on Bella. How did you do it?" she whispered through her sweetheart, pink, lips.
"Do what?" I asked genuinely confused and what she wanted to know.
I took a step back because she was now invading my private space. But she followed, "you know what" she placed a demanding hand on my shoulder. It was funny really; she was trying to dominate me. I looked down at her perfectly manicured, French tip, hand with disgust. Then back up at her make up caked face with the same contempt. I shook her hand of my body and tried to step around her but she was now flanked by her two minions; deadly smiles adorning each of their faces.
But when I didn't speak "You and the res hunk" Rose's sickly sweet voice projected throughout the classroom. What? Now I'm really confused; which probably reflected on my face.
"C'mon Bella, don't play dumb" Lauren turned towards Rose, smirking. "We saw you yesterday. How did you do it? How did you go from depressed to getting up close and personal with a native?" she spat stepping towards me suddenly. Native? Jake! He was with me last night, dropped me home after the bonfire.
"What's the secret, eh? They never give a second glance at us" Rose leaned forward glaring me up and down. By us she meant place faces. Jake had explained to me before that most natives don't associate with pale faces, but I didn't know why. They were fine with me, but maybe that was because Charlie was friends with Billy and Harry? The only person who seemed to have a problem with me was Paul. "What did you do to get his attention?" she glowered at me crossing her skinny little arms across her huge boobs.
"I didn't do anything" bitches could take a fucking hike.
"Right, you expect us to believe that? What's so special about you anyway? Frist the Cullens and now the natives" Lauren backed me up against the wall. "You must be doing something?" we were now toe to toe. She leant into me further and brought her mouth to my ear. "You must be a good fuck" she breathed.
"Not everyone is a whore like you Lauren. I have substance; I don't need to get on my knees to prove my worth." I laughed in her disgruntled face and pushed her back, away from me and stormed out the classroom before the lesson had even started.
Lately I felt worthless, I felt useless. I couldn't do anything, for anyone. I was the person who was responsible for all those death by the hands of Victoria. And all I could do was sit idle while he people I loved fought day and night to keep me safe, keep everyone safe. I had to help them and I need to do it now before anyone else lost their life. So I hoped into my truck as the late stragglers to school filed into the building. And I drove to La Push.
Stay at home
We'll handle this
Don't worry
We'll get her
It's okay bells
Don't go into the woods
Lies. It was all lies. I couldn't stay at home anymore, I had to do something. They weren't handling it, otherwise she would be caught already and they shouldn't have been seen either. I could help but worry, worry about the pack. Worry about Jake, worry about Charlie. It wasn't okay that everyone risked their lives for a problem I had brought upon them. It wasn't okay that other people were being punished for a decision I had made. I had to find a way to stop her, and she would only stop once she had me. I had to go into the woods to save the lives of the people I love.
Wiping the tears from my eyes I pulled into the trial just before the border and parked my truck behind some thick foliage. Once I was satisfied that it truck couldn't be seen from the highway I dug into the glove box and pulled out my red pocket knife. Charlie had given it to me because it had a little canister of pepper spray built in. said it would keep his mind ad rest if he knew I was carrying this for protection. Little did he know that I needed protection from something that was out of the human realm; and pepper spray wasn't a useful defence tool. But this little thing that I was now twirling between my fingers was going to be used as protection. Just not for me, but it would offer protection for everyone else. Forks would be safe, La Push would be safe and there will be no one orphan babies.
Taking in a deep breath I studied the forest around me. Everything was eerie quiet and I dint like it one bit. There were no birds no insects no squirrels. There was just a whole bunch of nothing. Which I suppose was great for me. The quiet signalled that she was somewhere close by. At least I hoped it was her and prayed it wasn't the pack doing; scaring all the animals into hiding.
There were several trails leading off to different directions, I didn't know where any of the led so I choose at random. I figured my best bet to some across her was off trial but I didn't want to be too close to civilisation that I ended up coming out the forest and not delving deeper into it. That was just counterproductive. So I decided to stick to the trail until I felt I was deep enough into the woods and then go off the route and deeper in to the green abyss. I was bound to come across her at one point or another. Hopefully I didn't bump into the pack or the trackers with guns and fucking tranquilisers.
I had been walking for a while and I knew it couldn't be past noon but still the light was poor under the canopy of the tress. And when I looked up to see how out the lights out I noticed the thick black clouds covering the sky. Typical! It was about the fucking rain on me, but that wasn't any good. My scent would be washed away and there would be no way of tracking me. I remember that Jake had said that they couldn't petrol in stormy weather because the wind and the rain distributed and diluted Victoria's scent; so why wouldn't it be the same for me, right?
What I need was a concentration of my scent and this is where my pocket knife came in handy. I looked around the forest and found a log to rest on for a little while; my legs were turning to jelly and I had rolled my ankle a few times on the uneven forest floor.
I pulled the knife out my pocket and placed it in the ground in front of me. I fought to remember why I was doing this. I fought to psyche myself up to what I had thought of doing. And I was doing this. I was doing this for everyone that loved someone they lost because of me. I was doing this so no one else would get hurt.
I rolled up my sleeves; I picked up the cold metal and placed it against my head, willing myself not to be weak. I could do this, it could all be over. And that was all the encouragement I needed to give myself. It would all be over.
It was all still quiet, so I still had hope that she would find me. All I could here were the sounds of my breathing and the howl of the wind through the trees. I brought my hands out in front of me and decided the best way to do this.
If I go straight up it would probably be fast. But the thing is I needed slow and steady not fast and furious. So my best bet was across. It would give me enough time and she could definitely find me in that time frame. But I guess it all had to do with her location and the direction of the wind. All I wanted was for her to find me and this to be over. So without delay I placed the knife to my pale wrist and sliced. Don't faint. Don't faint. Don't faint. I chanted and switched the knife to my left hand and cut across my opposite wrist. I watched as red liquid trickled out of the cuts and on to the dirt near my feet. The blood flow from both wrists was decent. But it could be better, so I flexed both my wrist until the cuts were wider. I whimpered as the pain skyrocketed and I suppressed the scream that was dying to be let out. But I had to be strong and carry on. It had to end and it had to end today. Either Victoria found me and killed me herself or I would bleed to death waiting for her.
I sat for a few minutes listening for any sounds of movement, but nothing. However the next sound I heard was fucking unexpected. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I thought I had left the fucker in my truck. How the hell do I have a signal strong enough to receive calls? Maybe I wasn't far enough in the forest yet? But how was the possible, I had been walking for years.
But by the time I had pulled out my phone, the call had rung out and probably went to voicemail. I wasn't about to answer the bloody thing but I was curious to see who was calling me in the middle of the day. Everyone believed I was at school, so who could it be? I was shocked to see Jake's name flash on the screen. What did he want? Was someone hurt? Was it Charlie? Stupid little man-child had left me a voicemail message, convenient because I wouldn't need to call him back. Amateur.
"Bella, just to update you, everyone is fine. Call me when you get this" oh thank god. Nothing had happened yet. Which was good but it could all go tits up at any point. I had to move, keep moving so my scent was spread out wide; meaning she had a better chance of finding me. I was getting a little light headed which meant she was running out of time.
So I got up from my perch on the broken tree and made my way deeper into the woods. Or that was where I thought I was going. But I was surprised to smell the air around me take on a salty taste. The sea. The fragrance got stronger and stronger. The sound of the waves crashing against rocks got louder and louder until I found myself on the cliffs by the sea. I had fucking navigated myself to the cliffs. Nice one Bella. Walk straight into a dead end, why not?
I sauntered over to the edge to see the waves crashing against the rocky cliff face. It was kind of beautiful. The sky was an angry grey, the waves down below rolled violently towards the shore; both equally aggressive in tone. The drop into the ocean was positively fatal for anyone attempting to dive today. Looking out towards first beach, I couldn't see a soul. Not even any surfers? Nobody, except me to admire the hostility of the weather and it was peaceful.
Until I heard her
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" her voice made the hairs on the back on my neck stand to attention. This is it.
Turing around, I scanned the small clearing for her form, but it wasn't there.
"Up here" she chimed.
And she was; up in the fucking tree, like she was afraid of something. And then I heard it, just as I was about to ask her why she was so far away. Well felt it first, to be exact. The ground shook the distinctive thump of paws hitting the dirt. And it was. Who was it? Jake? Sam? Embry? I didn't really want to know I just wanted it to be over. So I extended my hands out in front of me and pulled up the sleeves of my bloodied jacket.
"It ends today! Either you kill me or he kills you. Your pick" I called to her, even flexed my wrist as extra incentive and she bit down on the bait.
Her curly red hair bounced as she straightened herself from the crouch she had landed in, on the forest floor. The rags of her clothes flailed helplessly in the wind. "I wanted you to die slowly, but I guess this'll have to do" she shrugged her bony shoulders and sprinted towards me just as a grey wolf appeared from the thicket; snarling and growling viciously. I didn't know enough about the packs wolf forms to tell who it was. But I knew just enough to know that it was either Paul or Embry. Guess it didn't really matter now that it was as good as over.
I was hurtling towards the cold black ocean the next second while a pained howl rung out through La Push. The sudden drop had pushed me over the edge, literally, and I was fighting to stay wake. However the darkness didn't take over like I had expected and I felt the distinct burn of salt in my wrists as I hit the water. I was waiting for the ice cold hands of Victoria to finish me off; waited for it to all be over. I looked out across the ocean, under water, and saw the fiery hair of the last thing I would see alive. But before she could get to me the dark spots that littered my vision merged together. And that was it. It was all over.