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Hermione found herself in a foul mood as she riffled through the drawers of her desk, searching for a document that she needed Malfoy to look over.
Nothing is going right today! First I scald my tongue with the tea, and then I can't find Collins and now this bloody paper… what's next? Breaking my quill?
But just as soon as she found the blasted document, she grabbed her quill to sign… but the nib of her quill broke.
Spoke too soon.
She yowled out of frustration, chucking the quill aside and swept all the papers from her desk and onto the floor. She slumped back in her chair, pressing the heel of her hands tightly against her eyes.
I'm a grown woman and grown women don't burst into tears like babies. I'm a grown woman and grown women don't burst into tears like bab—
"Granger? What in Merlin's sake happened?" asked the astonished voice of Draco Malfoy.
She let out a sigh that came out as a hiss, lowering her hands slowly before dropping them lifelessly onto her lap.
Just what I needed... Malfoy snooping around. He'll probably just make me feel worse.
"Not having a good day. Nothing seems to be going my way," she muttered petulantly as she forced herself to look up at him.
And Morgana, what a sight. He was wearing his usual black garments though his tie was silver today, reminding her of the disastrous date night; she groaned inwardly but feigned a smile all the same.
"Want me to make you some tea? Wait, don't answer that. I know it's just what you need," he said as he began to busy himself.
Hermione couldn't help but stare at him as he did, finding him to look so homely and unlike himself. As he set the steaming mug in front of her, she still couldn't help but gawk at him.
His face was earnest, no smirk or sneer in sight. His eyes weren't their usual steel grey either. Hermione thought they looked rather like liquid silver.
"Thank you, this was nice of you," she murmured as she let the warmth of the tea warm her hands.
He chuckled softly, taking a seat and watching her.
"I'm not nice, Granger."
"You hadn't done this in a while," she spoke, feeling drawn to his eyes.
A corner of his mouth lifted and said, "I didn't want to get told off, you see. I knew there would come a day when you'd tell me you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself."
She stared at him, unsure of whether he was joking or not.
"But I never did."
"But you never did," he agreed, giving her a peculiar look that sent tremors down her spine.
"Nevertheless, I always appreciated it," Hermione assured him, taking the smallest of sips.
"I suppose this'll come in handy someday…" he trailed off musingly.
She furrowed her eyebrows and looked at him curiously, cocking her head.
"For the married life. Don't you know, Granger? I'm engaged too," he told her, nary a smile in sight.
She felt her world stop and collapse in itself in that moment.
Deep breaths, deep breaths Hermione.
"You… you're what?" she whispered hoarsely, setting her mug on the desk so roughly that tea sloshed out of it.
He stared back at her, his eyes turning softer by the moment.
"Engaged, Granger. To be married, as I'm sure you know," he smirked then, the ghost of her words lingering between them.
"But… how? I didn't think… you never said..." she sputtered incoherently, blinking madly.
"Her name is Astoria Greengrass. Long story short, she went to my mother and showed interest in me. We've gone out a couple of times and… we're engaged now," he explained placidly, clasping his hands together.
Hermione's mouth hung open at his words.
"You've only been on a few dates and you've decided to get married? Just like that? What kind of rubbish decision is that?" she scoffed, feeling much more irked than she ought have been.
"Not all of us can afford to marry for love, Granger," he told her quietly, looking down at his lap.
"Look at you, Draco Malfoy, talking about something he can't afford," she said harshly, shaking her head in disbelief.
He smiled without any real humor and nodded.
"Do you… do you love her?" she asked timidly.
"No, not really," he replied shortly, looking away for a moment.
"That's no way to live."
His eyes snapped back to hers and Hermione noticed the iciness in them.
"Oh, it's easy for you to criticize, Granger! You've got Weasley," he spat out. "You've been with him for five years and love him. I'm aware that while any woman would marry me, there aren't many that would do so out of love. You know me. I'm stubborn, cynical and cold. They would only put up with me because I'm easy on the eyes and because I'm obscenely wealthy… and what kind of life would that be, really? Astoria, on the other hand… it's different with her."
Hermione felt a sharp pang in her chest and she wasn't too sure whether it was because of his self-deprecating, downright loathing comments or implying that Astoria herself was different. Quite frankly, she didn't want to dwell too much on it lest she uncover something she ought not. She belatedly realized that her eyes must have filled up with tears because Draco's outline had grown fuzzy.
Oh, no... please don't cry, Hermione.
"How can you appreciate yourself so little, Malfoy? Sure, you may be those things but from what you've shown me, you're capable of much more. But only if you let yourself! It seems as if you're stuck in the past and who you used to be… that's going to get you nowhere. Sure, you made mistakes in the past… but you're past paying for them, Malfoy. Why won't you let yourself be happy? Why won't you believe that there's a woman who's bound to make you happy without having to settle for whoever shows the slightest bit of interest your way?" she asked through gritted teeth, gesturing wildly. "Because that's what it feels like you're doing to me, Malfoy. You're settling and I've never thought of you as a man who settled for anything, most especially a woman."
Even if said woman is seemingly perfect.
He simply stared at her, seemingly at a loss for words.
"Well then, Granger… where is this woman who will give me so-called happiness?" he asked tiredly, running his fingers through his flaxen locks. "If you happen to see her, would you please let her know that I'm looking for her?"
"It's not fair that you're just giving up. It's not like you," she told him quietly, ignoring his pithy comment.
A ghost of a smile lurked on his lips as he watched her.
"I wouldn't have minded marrying you," he spoke softly.
Hermione blinked, staring at the man before her in surprise.
"What?"
"You're so unlike anybody I know, Granger. I never expected myself to become close to you, yet here we are. I enjoy working with you, regardless of how demanding, aggravated or stressed you become throughout the day. I have grown... to... to care for you. I have even managed to find a semblance of tranquility and happiness by your side. I can't even remember the last time I felt one of those things yet I feel like that every day, with you. I can see why everybody in the department, hell, the whole Ministry, respects you. You truly are the best boss," he spoke fervidly, his eyes never leaving hers.
Hermione tried to respond but couldn't because of the lump in her throat; a large part of her was sure it was her heart. She couldn't even help the tears that trickled down her eyes during his impassioned speech. Draco looked distressed for a moment after taking notice of them but with cold, shaky fingers she hastily brushed them away.
"Not even… not even Ron spoke of happiness when he proposed, that git," she sniffled, unable to contain the tears that continued to well up in her eyes.
"I've always known and voiced how much of an idiot Weasley is, Granger. You could have spared yourself the trouble and just listened to me," he told her, half jokingly. "Don't you love him? Don't you want to marry him?"
"I love Ron, I do… but he's so insensitive all the time and he can get ridiculously jealous," she admitted exhaustively, running a fingertip along the rim of her mug.
"Is he jealous of me?" Draco asked, deeply amused.
"You have no idea," she muttered, rolling her eyes.
Draco grinned widely then, letting out a pleased bark of laughter.
"As he should be, really."
"That doesn't make our relationship any easier. As a matter of fact, I can't recall the last time we were both happy," she whispered uneasily, biting her lip.
"It seems like Weasley has yet to learn the fine art of appreciation," Draco told her dryly.
"I love him, but there are times when he drives me up the wall! It makes me question what I saw in him in the first place..."
"You've just got to keep on loving him. It won't make things easier, but it'll certainly help," he said to her after a long moment of silence.
She let out a watery chuckle and gave him an incredulous look.
"Who would have ever thought that Draco Malfoy would ever give me, Mudblood Hermione Granger, relationship advice?"
He scowled fiercely at her and leaned forward in the chair.
"Don't call yourself that, Granger," he snapped at her. "I'm sorry I ever did."
"Why deny what I am, Malfoy? But… don't worry. I eventually learned not to let it get to me."
He gave her a weak smile and watched as she drank the remains of her now-cold tea.
"I guess I won't be invited to your wedding, huh?" he smirked halfheartedly.
Hermione chuckled softly but shook her head.
"I'm afraid not. I'm sure Ron would think you have a dastardly plot up your sleeve. Something like attending solely to steal me away before walking down the aisle," she said with an eye roll.
"That's not a bad idea..." he mused, stroking his chin in thought.
"Well, what about your fiancée? I'm sure she wouldn't find it terribly amusing to discover that you've brought somebody else's fiancée home."
"Oh, we don't live together," he responded, shrugging a shoulder.
They watched each other for a few moments as a strange, fluttery feeling crept up on Hermione.
"So you're really getting married then, Malfoy?"
"Yes."
Hermione nodded slowly, a feeling of disparaging sadness spreading all over her; it felt akin to the coldness that overtook her when the Dementor boarded the Hogwarts Express third year.
Oh, no… oh, please Merlin no… the last thing I need is emotions confusing me! I… love Ron. I love Ron. Absolutely. I've loved him since I was thirteen and now we're engaged!
"I wouldn't have minded marrying you either," she spoke softly, biting her lip.
His dove grey eyes grew to the size of saucers.
"You may not consider yourself to be nice, but you're certainly agreeable. You're responsible, hardworking, surprisingly thoughtful… and in the time you've worked here, I've become fond of you. Hermione Granger, fond of Draco Malfoy. Who would have thought?" she chuckled softly, giving her head a shake.
He opened his mouth to speak but closed it upon second thought. She licked her lips nervously and watched as his eyes darted down to her mouth, watching the motion intently before focusing on her eyes once more. The silence stretched between them and although it wasn't awkward, it felt electric. Hermione couldn't help but think that sparks would fly if they were to touch.
I need to get him out of here before I tell him something I might end up regretting. Now, Hermione!
"I need you to look over this. Please and thank you," she said dismissively, handing over some documents without looking at him.
She felt Draco continue to stare at her as she held the papers out in her hand. He seemed to shake himself before reaching for them, grabbing the opposite side from where her fingers gripped the document. Even so, Hermione could have sworn that she felt a jolt pass through her.
"I'll, erm, bring these back later," he murmured as he walked out of her office.
She nodded, not bothering to look at him.
"Would you be a peach and close the door? Thanks," she said coolly, still not looking up at him.
Hermione could feel him staring at her but she forced herself not to look back. She finally heard the door get closed and slouched forward in her seat, pressing her forehead against her desk.
I'm such an idiot. What kind of engaged woman tells another engaged man that she wouldn't mind getting married to him? I must have shocked the Slytherin out of him for not to reply. But could he… have been serious? Did he truly mean that? I guess it doesn't even matter at this point, seeing as how he's engaged to Astoria Greengrass and I'm engaged to Ron Weasley.
She let out a heavy sigh and frowned at the scattered papers on the floor. With a flourish of her wand, the papers were once again stacked in neat piles on her desk.
I like Draco Malfoy. I must! Or else I'd never have told him… oh, bugger. But how could I do that to Ron? Sure, he may not be the best man sometimes… but he still loves me. Merlin… why would he propose to me now, of all times? Could he sense my shifting feelings towards Malfoy? Is that why he's been so selfish and jealous?
She flicked her wand at her quill and it became as good as new.
Of all times for Malfoy to get engaged, why did it have to be now? Could he… well, he said he liked me. But 'like' me how? Oh, seriously, Hermione. Does it even matter? You're engaged! This is so confusing. Continuing to work with him will undoubtedly confuse me further. Perhaps I should quit now… no, that wouldn't be right. Who am I kidding? One of the reasons I enjoy coming to work is for his witty banter. I enjoy seeing that part of Draco Malfoy I was deprived of for so long. Most teachers were over the moon with me and my grades, so I can imagine just how overshadowed Draco must have felt but he's really very brilliant. I just love our mind-stimulating chats and it's not like I can just talk to Ron…
Hermione looked out her window and saw that the "sky" was dreary and grey.
Like his eyes. As if I really need a reminder of the man when he's quite literally next door. I just knew today was going to be a bad day. I wish I wasn't always right.
When it rains, it pours, huh?
Anyway, happy Monday!