A/N: *cough* Uh, sorry for my absence. I actually have a really good excuse, which is I effing graduated from college. And it went down with a BANG. Meaning the last show I worked on went to shiz and all hell broke loose, and make up work was to be had, and now I have like three different disease things I'm recovering from. But I won a second award, so huzzah?
Anyway, I DO apologize for leaving you on such a cliffhanger for so long. And truthfully, this chapter is rather short compared to my others, and doesn't really move FORWARD that much. But it's necessary for what I have planned next, and it felt right, so. (Not to mention I'll probably have the next chapter out in the next couple of days now that school's done.)
I should let you get on with the story. Now. But I couldn't have done this without some major support, especially from those on tumblr (specifically skybluepinkwithpurplepolkadots, who gets me going as a writer when no one else can.) And ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS. I've never gotten so many on a chapter! They were all so wonderful and made me feel super guilty for not being able to update any earlier, because y'all deserved it.
WARNINGS: This chapter is actually really ANGSTY. It is thought based, not torture based or anything. In fact, it won't get worse than what I did last chapter, unless describing pain is worse. Which it might be. Okay, I take some of that back. There IS technically a psychological torture performed, but it's not bad, I promise. I'll go into more detail about it next chapter, maybe. Or on tumblr. Oh, and Alec cusses. *twirls flag*
Disclaimer: If Cassie knew what I was doing with her character she'd probably be proud of the pain this chapter shows. Because she's inflicting that on us right now. And it does not make me happy.
Enjoy~
Chapter Ten
"Alec! ALEC! LET ME GO, you BASTARDS!" Magnus screamed, pushing and pulling to try and get out the hold he was in. He had to get to Alec. He had to. He was pulled away before he could really see anything, but he had heard Sebastian's exclamation, and he had heard Alec's scream. He fought against the men holding him all the way to the front entrance, where he was then thrown down onto the concrete of the parking lot. He tried to get up, tried to push back the men to get back inside, back to Alec, but he froze when a gun was pressed against his gut.
It was only a moment before Valentine walked out, his expression indifferent, if disappointed.
"Why would you do this, Magnus? A Lightwood?" Valentine shook his head, as if he was talking down to a child. "You should have known I'd be able to get past your tricks."
"What did Sebastian do to him?" Magnus growled out, ignoring the nudge of the gun.
Valentine's eyes were lowered, observing Magnus keenly. "You could have found the Mortal Instruments, Magnus. Why give that up?" he asked, ignoring Magnus's question.
"Some things are more important," Magnus said, his stomach tightening. "What are you going to do to him?"
"Keep him, for a while," Valentine said. "Just to make sure he doesn't interfere any further. So he won't be a… distraction for you, while you finish the piece."
"You just took my artist, how do you expect me to finish it? Wait for it to come alive and finish itself?" Magnus drawled, not holding back his sarcasm. "And why would I finish it for you, after this?"
"Because I have that boy," Valentine said. "And I could have you and him killed just as easily as Ragnor Fell."
Magnus's eyes widened, his lips parting in shock. He felt a cold sweep over his whole body. "You… you killed Ragnor?"
"I suggested it to someone else," Valentine said, as if it was of no concern to him. "As I'll suggest to you to pick your partners better. Alexander Lightwood is more well known than either of you assumed."
The name seemed to vibrate through Magnus's skull, echoing. Alexander. Alec. Alec. Alec…
"Don't touch him," Magnus growled out. At least, he meant it to be a growl but it came out as more of a plea.
"Then do your job," Valentine said simply. "And know the consequences if you don't do it by the rules."
He could barely concentrate, but he tried as best he could. He knew what Valentine was capable of, and he knew Valentine was fully willing to get them killed. It was no bluff and if he wanted Alec back, he couldn't fight this. If he wanted Alec to be safe, he had to do this alone.
Not alone. He had Julian, a teenage boy at his apartment who Alec entrusted him with. He had failed to protect Alec, and he could not fail with Julian. He owed Alec that.
He was going to have to call Camille.
It was really white. Why was it so white? It was as if Alec was staring straight into a light, the edges fading into black. There was a low beat and he could see the edges of the light pulsing.
That was when he realized it wasn't light at all. It was pain. His head was throbbing and he felt as if he had been thrown into the arctic water. He was so cold, a type of stinging cold that made him want to take a warm shower and just curl up in bed.
Why couldn't he just do that? He was freelancing artist. He could make his own schedule. He'd work on… on…
Alec sucked in a sharp breath and his eyes snapped open as the memories came flooding back. It was fuzzy in some areas but he remembered Valentine saying his name—his real name, and he remembered another man. Sebastian. He remembered being hit and he remembered Sebastian's words:
I'll make sure you won't have a hand in this again. Literally.
The flash of the knife, the sharp pain up his arm. Alec was afraid of what he would find if he looked at his hand now. There was definitely pain, but it seemed dull now; numb from the cold, but still very much there.
He dared to look down.
He let the breath out of his lungs slowly as he confirmed his hand was still actually there. Yes, it had a stab wound through the middle of it, but it was attached to his wrist and that was much better than what Alec had thought happened. He let the onset of a panic attack fade away as he tried to assess the situation logically. Facts. He needed facts.
One, he still had his hand. He tried to wiggle his fingers and pain shot up his arm.
Two, not all of his nerves were severed, but it hurt like hell.
He took a few more breaths. It was his right hand, his dominant hand, which was injured. He couldn't confirm anything medical without seeing a doctor first. It was pointless to worry about it until then.
Okay. He was okay. He could handle pain. Next fact.
Three, it was cold.
Alec looked at his surroundings and saw only cardboard boxes against frosted metal and plastic walls. He recognized the large metal door, having seen it from the other side.
Four, he was in a freezer.
He knew exactly what freezer, too. Alec looked hesitantly at his hand. It had stopped bleeding, somehow, but it was left untreated. With how cold it was, and how open the wound was, he could lose his hand if he didn't do something about it. He was sure the pain was dulled now because his hand was simply frozen. At least it felt that way.
His teeth were clattering as he made to stand up slowly, holding his head with his good hand as the room started to spin.
He was pretty sure he was concussed but he wasn't positive, so he couldn't add it to his facts. However...
Five, he didn't have the gun.
Six, he didn't have any of his belongings. No cell phone, wallet, or keys.
He made his way to the door slowly, not wanting the room to start spinning again, and tried the door, just by chance...
Seven, the door was locked.
Eight, he had no clue where Magnus was.
That fact had been sudden, but strong, accompanied by a feeling of dread. If they did this to him, what did they do to Magnus?
Fact nine: He had to get out.
He had to stay logical and work out a plan or else he would start degrading himself to the point of not doing anything. First thing first. He had to protect his wound somehow if he wanted to keep his hand. He looked around before his eyes landed on Magnus's clothes he was wearing. It was the only cloth around, even if it wasn't very absorbent, from the looks of it.
"Sorry, Magnus," Alec mumbled before he put an edge between his teeth and used his good hand to rip the fabric. The cold hit his bare skin underneath and he had never been more grateful Magnus made him wear a jacket. Even with it, his fingers were already stinging and he wondered exactly how long it took for a person to freeze.
Usually Magnus didn't find it odd to drive someone else's car. This was for reasons he'd rather not admit, but it was true nonetheless. Alec's car, however, was different. It wasn't like the artist had shown any particular attachment to it, but it was his, and that was all it took for Magnus's self-consciousness to wake up. He had little choice, unless he wanted to leave Alec's car in the hands of Valentine, which he certainly did not. So Magnus made his way to his apartment, refusing to even adjust the seat to accommodate his longer legs.
When he stepped out he noticed Julian outside, a cigarette between his lips. Magnus approached him.
"Alec would get onto you for smoking," Magnus said, his voice holding none of its usual energy. Julian's eyes flickered to the car.
"Where is he?" the teenager asked, not removing the cancer stick. It was such a simple question, yet Magnus had trouble not physically reacting to it.
"Go home, Julian," Magnus said, pushing past the boy to enter his apartment. Julian followed shortly after, his cigarette discarded.
"I don't live here, remember?" Julian said as he stepped in front of Magnus, blocking his path. "What's going on?"
"Pack your things and go home to LA. I can't involve you in this," Magnus said much harsher and uncaring than he meant, but he didn't have the energy to worry about it.
There it was: that stubborn upwards tilt of his chin, the narrowing of his bright eyes. "No. At least not until you explain what's going on. I'm already involved."
Magnus weighed his options, and his own ability to be stubborn. "I need you to go home, for Alec's sake."
"For Alec's sake?" Julian repeated, a sneer creeping into his voice. "I'm not leaving until you tell me where Alec is."
Magnus put a hand through his hair and paused, noticing how badly he was shaking and noticing it was a habit he never had before he met Alec. His fingers curled against his scalp. "Valentine, he..." The words drifted off as if they didn't want to be spoken, as if speaking them was the only thing that made them true. Magnus had to accept the situation to be able to do anything about it. He pushed the words out, strained and broken. "Valentine has him. He knew who Alec was. He—" The thought stuck in his head. He had seen Alec snap to attention, and had seen the way his eyes widen in fear. Fear for him, for Magnus, when Magnus had been let go. He hated this, feeling like he had betrayed Alec's trust. "I can't let anything happen to you, too."
"Too bad," Julian said, quick and clear. "Because I won't let anything more happen to Alec."
"Do you think I wanted this to happen?!" Magnus exclaimed suddenly, his jaw tight as he glared at the teen. "Do you think I wanted something to happened; for Alec to be involved at all?"
"You brought him on, didn't you?" Julian snapped back. "You know that world, that side of the world, better than any of us because you live in it! That means you have a certain responsibility—"
"—I know that!" Magnus said, his energy fading yet again as he buried his face in his hands. "I know that. I thought I had outsmarted Valentine and I was a fool. Knowing Alec's pain is because of me—because of my mistake—is my punishment, and every minute he's not here, with me, I—" He cut himself off, not wanting to talk about the frustrating feelings battling inside himself, making his organs feel as if they were twisting in on themselves. "I just have to get him back, and I can't involve anyone from the FBI. They'd know."
"I'm not an official FBI agent," Julian said, seeming to have calmed down a bit himself. "I'm just an artist, like Alec."
"They knew who Alec was," Magnus pointed out, knowing what this means and already planning out the speech to Camille. He was sure flattery would be plenty, but he was not looking forward to the speech he would have to make.
Julian's hand inched toward his pocket, resting, perhaps unconsciously, on a pack of cigarettes. He did not remove one, however, and instead sat on Magnus's couch. "Tell me the whole situation. Then I can either pretend I didn't hear anything and go home or figure something else out."
"Valentine still needs Crouching Boy finished," Magnus said, his nerves too wild to sit down. "If I don't provide, they could kill Alec."
Julian winced. "Will they either way? Are you sure he's not already…"
The ending on the sentence was heavily implied: Are you sure he's not already dead? The thought chilled Magnus as he shook his head. "I—no. There's no proof either way. They didn't promise to release him, and even then it's not worth much in this situation." Alec had to still be alive. That scream—it was painful, but he had heard death, and that was not it. Alec was fine. He had to be. "I have to try, Julian. I can't give up a chance for his safety."
"Of course not," Julian said. "We just can't let them be the only ones with leverage."
Magnus raised an eyebrow. "And how do you suggest we do that? The sculpture is hardly enough leverage any more and Valentine doesn't really care about anyone. Not even his own son, even if the poor boy thinks so."
"Maybe not leverage, then," Julian said. "Maybe just a trump card, which you do have."
"And that would be…?"
"Alec," Julian said, as if surprised by his own thoughts. "Alec is your trump card. He's trained, Magnus. If we assume he's alive, then he won't just sit around. We have to believe he'll be able to help on his end."
"But what if he can't?" Magnus asked. "What if he's injured, or unconscious, or… dead?"
"Then we have a whole family of Lightwoods in the FBI to help," Julian said, seeing Magnus about to protest and continuing. "Ah, ah. Don't say we can't involve them. This is their job and I'm positive this is how Alec would want it—whether his life was at stake or not."
As much as he wanted to protest that, he couldn't. Alec always thought about others first, and he would risk his life for something like this. Not to rescue him, but to stop Valentine and help others. To help people like Magnus. In fact, Magnus was sure Alec would do something stupid just to not be a burden on anyone else, and that was exactly how he would see himself in a hostage situation.
So maybe he did have others to help him. Maybe this kid was right, and he could put a little more faith in the system. Maybe everything would be okay and he wouldn't have to call in Camille.
"Fine," he said before pointing a ringed finger at Julian. "But you're calling Jace. I am not prepared for his wrath yet." Not that he thought he ever would be.
Julian whipped out his phone and dialed.
Alec wondered if Valentine or Sebastian had turned down the temperature. He wondered if that was even possible. Surely a freezer had a certain temperature limit labeled "unnecessarily frigid" or something similar. He wasn't sure how much time had passed but it was enough that it didn't matter if he had a jacket on or not. His skin was turning blue and he had no control over how much he was shaking any longer. His body was already bad at regulating heat and no amount of fiction was helping. Even his breath was cold, his lungs stinging with every inhale. That wasn't including his hand, which was surely a mix of blues and reds underneath the ripped cloth.
He had tried pacing to try and at least get his blood flowing, and to try and think of a plan, but even that got hard to do after a while and he instead lodged himself between two boxes, making sure he could still see the door before curling in on himself, hoping his own body heat could do something in this space.
It didn't. Not really. He huffed in frustrated, hating not being able to do anything, and hating not know what was going on. He was already starting to lose track of time and that in and of itself was making him anxious, let alone the pain from his hand reminding him if he didn't take care of it, he'd have to learn how to paint with his left hand, which he was always awful at. Of course he was given a photographic memory instead of the ability to be ambidextrous, because that was extremely useful now. He could tell his frustrations were making him more sarcastic and he hoped Valentine or Sebastian showed up when he was calmer to avoid unnecessary consequences for his probable snide remarks. Apparently Jace was rubbing off on him.
He took deep breaths, ignoring his lungs and his hand, closing his eyes to try and calm himself for what seemed like the hundredth time since he was locked in here.
"Think, Alec. You are not an idiot and you are not defenseless. Magnus needs you out of here," he said to himself, noticing a slight rasp to his voice but ignoring that, too. He focused on thoughts of Magnus, and how warm he felt next to the man, lying next to him, hugging him, kissing him. It was warmer than any hot cocoa or fireplace could have made him, and so he imagined it and let it overwhelm his thoughts.
He wasn't able to let it fully take affect before he heard a noise from the door, a small creak at it opened and he opened his eyes quickly. He didn't make a move to get up, knowing he wouldn't have the time to, especially with his body as frozen as it was. So he watched as Valentine stood in the doorway.
"How are you doing, Alexander?" The words slipped from Valentine's mouth easily, but with an air of confidence. Yet it was such a different set of confidence than Magnus's, who said it as if his name held personal significance. In comparison, Valentine said it as if to prey, a sense of dominance laced in it.
"Valentine," Alec said, feeling his younger rebellious nature kicking in. He wanted to seem equal to Valentine, which was just a bit difficult while shivering in a corner with an injured hand. At least his voice didn't crack. "W-where's Magnus?" There it was, the shaking in his voice from his clattering teeth.
Valentine laughed then, a hollow yet amused sound. "My, you ARE a bit different from the other Lightwoods, aren't you? You have been in a freezer for six hours with at least an injured hand and you're wondering about MAGNUS?"
Six hours. Had it really been six hours? Alec knew it had been a while but that meant it was around midnight already and his internal clock disagreed. So he swallowed and repeated himself. "Where's Magnus?"
There was a moment then, where Valentine's eyes sparked with recognition. Alec felt dread pooling in his stomach. "How interesting, that the two of you seem so focused on the other. Magnus gave up his chance to find the Mortal Instruments, you aren't focused on getting out—or saving your hand, for that matter. I have a feeling this is much deeper than just business partners," he said, taking a step closer to Alec, who just clenched his jaw. He couldn't answer Valentine. He wouldn't. He knew not to give up anything more about himself, and he already wasn't sure of Magnus's condition. Valentine frowned then, a mocking frown. "It seems I'm using the wrong tense, though. I guess you can't actually be in a relationship with someone who's dead."
Alec's breath stopped in his chest before coming out in small hitches. His eyes widened and as his lips parted in disbelief. No. No, that couldn't be true. It couldn't be. Magnus had to have been alive. There was no purpose for him being here like this if there wasn't. "You-" Alec choked out, not realizing how tight his throat was. He tried again. "You... need him. He can't be..."
Valentine looked curiously at Alec. "He was a man who had hope in the world. He believed that every person had a significance, so I can see why he took an interest in you. However, he was wrong. He was one of many. I have others who can do the work he did for me, others who are smart and won't betray me." He paused as he bent at the knees, his eyes level with Alec's. "Then there are those I can blackmail. Those are the ones I can trust the most. Alexander Lightwood, you have a talent I could use."
"F-Fuck off," Alec stuttered out, but putting as much hate as he could in it. His whole body could not stop shaking, violently so.
"I could take you out of here, give you a hot tea to drink," Valentine said, as if he had not already been rudely denied. "Your brother and sister would live..."
Alec tried to move. He tried to lunge at Valentine, to do SOMETHING, but his muscles were tight now and his legs were becoming numb, and so when he moved it was more like a spasm and he instead fell, bracing himself on his hands and letting out a yelp as pain shot up his arm from his hand. It was humiliating and Alec could only stare at the ground as Valentine stood. He nudged Alec's face with his shoe, tilting his chin up with it as a tear slid down Alec's face.
Valentine shook his head, this eyes filled with a type of pity. "Come on, Alexander. You can protect them by working for me. I will promise to do them no harm." He lowered his foot and Alec immediately looked away from him as tears of anger and frustration filled his eyes. Valentine tsked. "I'll give you time to compose yourself before you give me your final answer. I would just like it to be before you lose your painting hand," he said before turning around and leaving the freezer, locking the door behind him.
Alec closed his eyes tightly as his whole body seemed to become as tense as it possibly could until his forehead was pressed against his knees, his good hand holding his head as he took deep breaths through his nose. He was overwhelmed yet again and his brain was having a hard time sorting through everything.
Magnus couldn't be dead. He couldn't be. But he hadn't exactly seen what happened to him, either. There was nothing telling him that Magnus wasn't already dead.
Then again, there was nothing proving he was. Alec dealt with facts. He had always dealt with facts, and believed those came from those he trusted. He did not trust Valentine. He couldn't. Not when every part of his being was telling him not to. But was that simply because he didn't want it to be true?
He couldn't think of that. His brain wouldn't process it. It shoved the thoughts away, locking them tightly, only to be unlocked with facts.
Then there was Valentine's offer. As much as he strove to keep his family safe, they were also a part of the FBI. Izzy had bodyguards most of the time, and she could fend for herself fairly well. That is, unless they used snipers, which was how Ragnor was killed. But joining Valentine was not the best way to protect him. Alec still believed in the law, and believed honesty was the quickest and safest route to get what he needed. Obviously, lying had done him no good in this situation and he wasn't about to risk that again. He couldn't protect his siblings when they were on opposing teams, so it was completely out of the question.
Keeping these thoughts in mind, his worry was turning into anger. Anger towards Valentine for what he had done to Magnus—whatever he had done to Magnus—and anger fueled by his own frustrations at himself. For being weak, for humiliating himself. He let it fill him as he pulled himself back up to a standing position. It was still extremely cold but he couldn't let it beat him. He couldn't give up now. He had a job to do. Now he just needed to figure out how to get his body to cooperate and come up with a plan.
Then one did. A thought planted itself instead of his head, and it started to grow. So maybe he would take one more risk, to save his family, and possibly Magnus. He just hoped he was making the right decision.
A/N: So see? I didn't cut off Alec's hand. Never in the plan, but it had it's purpose. You're lucky because I do WORSE in some of my other stories. Even though ti was short, I hoped you liked this chapter! Personally, I'm looking forward to writing the next scene with Magnus and Jace. haha But let me know what you think!
RANDOMLY... I uploaded some of my oneshots if you're interested. _;
As always, thank you for reading! Seeing that people like this, and reading your reviews brightens my day! I hope to hear from you~!
~Annie