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When Robert had five days left in Sydney Matthew and Antonia said that they wanted to take him on their favourite restaurant. It was quite a fancy restaurant, Asian, and the decoration and the waiters made you feel like a sultan from the moments you walked through the doors. As usual, Matthew was late, which gave Antonia and Robert some time to talk, Robert took the opportunity to thank her for really taking care of him and Antonia had a confession to make. She told him that she hadn't been as forgiving as she had seemed at first, but that she now, after the two weeks, felt that they were closer than ever.
"To be honest I didn't even want you to come, I was so mad with Matthew for inviting you . . . You broke my cousin's heart and I felt that I needed to protect her . . . She doesn't really have a boyfriend, I tried to set her up with this guy, but . . . she isn't over you yet. "
"How many times do I have to say it? I am . . ."
"Sorry, I know. But no one knows what made you change your mind like that over night, anyway, I told her you were visiting. She asked if you could meet."
Robert didn't really know how to respond. In a way he was glad that Hannah wasn't over him, he wasn't over her by far, still it hurt him, but maybe he could tell her, maybe . . . That was the moment Matthew walked up to their table, gave Antonia a kiss and Robert a smile. "Hi, have you ordered yet?"
"Hi, darling, yes, we've ordered, I ordered you Chicken Pilau and a beer"
"Great, thank you, tonight we celebrate! Guess who's got a definite internship with Dr Turner next year! Oh and before I forget, Robert, I've got something for you" Robert congratulated his friend without knowing who Dr Turner was or his specialty, he also accepted the bag that was handed to him, opened it and found a book, a book on rheumatology, a book by Rowan Chase, dedicated to his beloved wife, his current wife. Robert kept quiet and Matthew continued. "He had a lecture at the university. I had some questions, talked to him a little, he offered to put in a good word for me with Dr Turner. When I went to thank him this morning, your name came up and he asked me to give that to you . . . So, what did you guys order?"
Robert didn't know how to handle his best friend and his dad. He didn't even know why he was upset, if it was because Matthew had talked to his dad, or the fact that his dad had helped Matthew. And what right did they have to discuss him and send him books? Matthew didn't notice that his friend seemed a little down, he was too focused on explaining his internship to Antonia, who didn't know Robert well enough to know when he was unusually quiet.
Robert felt that he wanted to go back to Victoria and thought of an excuse to leave Sydney earlier, but couldn't come up with a good enough reason.
But two days later Peter, Robert's friend from the seminary, showed up and told him that Father Harrison had sent him. Apparently Sister Norah had went to see Victoria and had found her unconscious on the bed, a bad mix of sleeping pills and alcohol had made her stop breathing and she was now in a hospital. Robert immediately went to pack his things, refusing Antonia's offer to help him. As Robert entered the bathroom to grab his toothbrush he could hear Antonia and Peter talk.
"Did she . . . Was it suicide, I mean, an attempt to . . ."
"Don't know, according to Father Harrison she says it wasn't, but most people know better than to mix Restoril with alcohol"
They were interrupted by Robert, who quickly hugged Antonia good bye and asked her to explain to Matthew. He and Peter then hurried out to Peter's car and the only conversations they had on their way to the hospital was when Robert asked Peter if he couldn't drive faster.
When Robert arrived at the hospital he hurried to the reception for direction to his mother's room. He then ran down the hallway and into the room where a very pale Victoria lay and next to her sat Father Harrison holding her hand. When Father Harrison saw Robert, he rose and went over to the boy. Gently he grabbed the boy's shoulder.
"She's out of any immediate danger, but very weak. You can stay with her for as long as you like, I'll be back in an hour"
Robert neared the bed. "Mum? Mum, it's me, Robert"
Victoria opened her eyes and tried to smile, failing miserably. When she spoke her voice was hoarse, not as when she had been drinking, but out of true weakness in the soul.
"I'm sorry, Robert, I wanted to make you happy. But then I was so lonely and I, I just needed some rest, just needed to relax a little bit"
Robert tried to remain calm "Mum, maybe it would be best if you went back to . . ."
A spark could be seen in Victoria's eyes and her voice turned desperate. "No, Robbie, I couldn't, it would kill me. I didn't mean to . . . please don't do that to me, Robbie. Promise me you won't" She sounded as if he had been a psychotic killer with an axe, he had never heard her like this and it absolutely terrified him. He held his mum and rocked her back to sleep, soothing and promising her that he would take care of her, everything would be fine.
And that was what he said to Father Harrison and anyone else who uttered the idea of Victoria going back. "It was an accident, she didn't mean it. She just needs me to be there and she will be fine"
But for the first time Father Harrison actually raised his voice towards his protégé "She is not fine, Robert, she needs . . ." and for the first time Robert interrupted his Father "I'm not sending her back, she is my mother and I know what's best for her. You can't tell me what to do" And Father Harrison realized that the lost boy he had tried to protect and help for so long had grown into a man, a lost and confused young man, but still with the power to step outside his reach if he wanted to. He had to let the boy, sorry, the man, make his own decisions, find his way. And all Father Harrison could hope for was that when it all came crashing down, he would at least be able to save the boy.
And the young man stayed at the seminary, studying, praying, serving God in every way, only now he was just doing it half-time, the other half was spent watching over his mother and he was never away from home longer than a couple of hours. Surely then, God couldn't take his mother away. Now it was really high school all over again, yet it wasn't, yes, he was taken care of the same sick woman that he loved more than anything else, but he was different. Back then, he thought, he had been confused, scared and so much time had been wasted trying to gain his father's attention. Now he was a grown-up, rational, doing what he must without thinking too much, and to hell with Rowan's attention and approval. People around him, Father Harrison, Peter, Matthew, tried to talk to him, tried to make him talk, but he just refused to say anything else than that everything was fine. He was driving a train towards a wall that everyone could see except him.
And so it came, the crash, a normal Tuesday in May. Robert wasn't there, he should have been. Ten minutes after he had left the house and taken the car to the seminary, Victoria had called Father Harrison and told him that her heart felt strange, he immediately called 000 and within ten minutes an ambulance had pick them up. Victoria was taken to the ER and Harrison tried to get hold of Robert. Robert hurried to the hospital only to find a calming doctor, who tried to explain the term "cardiac arrhythmia" and that "she didn't suffer". After that came a load of questions about health and alcohol abuse, none of which helped Robert's conscience. Father Harrison helped him answering and thanked the doctor, then, with tears in his eyes, Father Harrison put his arms around the motherless, looked him in the eye and said "She's in good hands, Robert . . . remember, you're not alone in this." Desperately Father Harrison searched for the lost boy to comfort him, but he was nowhere to be seen and the young man in front of him didn't cry. Robert hugged the old man back, but then said he wanted some time with his mother.
He spent an hour next to her bed, but finally a kind doctor convinced him to say good bye and let them take the body. He went out into the corridor and tried to call his father. First dial, second dial, third dial, fourth and then a female voice. "Hello?"
"Caroline Chase?" Robert asked, although the voice sounded nothing like his father's new wife.
"No, It's Sophie, mum and Rowan is out. Do you want to leave a message?"
"Yeah, tell him . . . tell him his wife is dead" As he put down the phone he could hear Sophie's voice 'What? Who's dead?', but he ignored it. Instead he went to find Father Harrison. "Could you call Gary Pritchett, please? I want him to know . . . He can come to the funeral if he likes."
It took his father four hours and thirty-seven minutes to call back, Robert clocked it, thought it to be a record and sadly realized that it had been much easier to contact Gary in the US than Rowan only a few miles away. Robert could hear the anxiety in Rowan's voice, or maybe he was imagining it. It was the usual questions, short answers and then Rowan mentioned the funeral.
"Do you want me to be there?" He doubted that his son would welcome him with open arms, but he wanted him to know that he was there and now when Victoria was gone . . .
"You don't have to" Robert forced his voice to be stern and cold. It didn't take much effort.
"I want to, and Caroline too. Robert, let me come." It was a mix between a plea and a demand. Robert felt both relieved that he would have his father with him, but also angry that Rowan thought he had the right to make such a request.
"Ok, but don't you dare bring her to mum's funeral. Oh and by the way, Gary will be there. You remember him, Gary Pritchett?" and with that he hang up, went home without telling anyone, locked the door and started crying.
As always, thank you for reading :)