She glances at her wristwatch, one that Rick had conveniently bought her. It was 9:55 pm.
She knew visiting hours were over in five minutes but she still came. Technically she had been here for twenty minutes, but most of that time had been spent with her debating whether or not if she should really go in and see him. She spent ten minutes simply sitting in her car with her keys in her hand, unsure if she wanted to stick them back into the engine and leave or put them in her pocket and walk into the hospital.
She ended up sticking them in her pocket and heading into the lobby. That's where she spent another ten minutes simply pacing. The nurse at the sign-in desk had originally kept pestering to sign in and she finally had after giving in. So here she was, just a few steps away from Rick's room, with only five minutes.
Kate slowly made her way to the doorframe and peeped in. She was relieved to see his body at rest and eyes closed. From the look of it his nightmares were far away. She approached his bedside and sat in the chair that she had claimed hers when she had desperately waited for Rick to wake up.
She shouldn't have waited this long to come see him. When Esposito talked to her she hadn't seen Rick in three days. Today it made four. She knew she had caused tons of questions for the author, but over the past couple of days she tried to answer some of hers.
How exactly was she supposed to continue on? She had spent the majority of the fourth day away from him vehemently denying that she liked Rick and wanted a relationship with him. Towards the end of the day though, there were far more pros than cons. He was a great man in a horrible situation that she didn't know how to deal with.
The fact that Esposito had mentioned he was having horrific flashbacks didn't help either. What could be haunting him? What could possibly be more terrible and gut wrenching than the murder that he had grown accustomed to? Was it is past? Was it simply nightmares that his mind conjured up in it's most vulnerable state?
Two minutes now.
She took in the author's face. Taking note of the furrow in his brow she wondered what could possibly be disturbing him. He had no recollection of the past, yet surprisingly it was still troubling him. Could she be there for when he needed someone? She figured it would be hard for him to talk to Alexis or Martha about his sufferings simply because they were family. If Kate knew anything, it was that Rick would not want to place another burden of his shooting upon his family members. But would he confide in her? Would he trust her enough to delve into his past?
Realization dawned upon her when she realized that she didn't know much about Rick's past. Sure, they had grown closer over the past couple of months. Their movie nights had become more frequent as well as outings to the park and moments that only they knew of. Their time together wasn't spent dwelling on the past however; it was about living in the present and looking towards the future with hope. He was the one man that was able to convince her that tomorrow and the days following should not be dreaded, but looked forward to.
She knew what type of man Rick was, but she didn't know the memories behind the man that shaped him to be what he was now. He knew about her mother's murder, the essence of her persona. Kate quickly realized that she knew his characteristics and how he acted around her, those subtle touches and longing looks, by heart, but she really only knew the surface of Richard Castle.
He was an enigma with apparently a haunting past that no one knew about. Not even he knew about his past. He was trapped by his own mind, being tortured by the scarce memories he did hold. When he had first woke up, she could see through his facial expression and eyes that this would be the most frustrating obstacle he would have to overcome.
She would overcome it with him though. Despite not knowing where they stood relationship wise as a result of his amnesia, she wanted Rick. She would help Rick remember that he wanted her too and that their friendship was solid.
It would be a bit difficult to describe that to him though when she had been avoiding him. This most certainly will be a challenge.
It was time to go another night nurse said. She offered to let Mr. Castle know that you stopped by while he was sleeping. You politely decline, saying she'll be seeing a lot more of you, sitting here in your chair. No matter what hour.
xxx castleelovee :]