Chapter 11

Now I Know

Contrary to what Niles would have expected, neither Noel nor Wilson commented anything about the identity of the donor. He had been resilient about letting his guard down, but apparently the two men had no more tricks under their sleeves.

At least that's what it looked like…

The news of C.C. having found a march had been thoroughly celebrated by her family and the Sheffields, and soon after the news had been made public, Niles had put his plan in action, his accomplices being the Sheffields, Noel and Dr Wilson.

He had put on a show of him getting a cold as soon as C.C. had been told about the donor, and had successfully managed to convince the blonde – as well as her parents – that he needed to go home and rest.

C.C. had insisted on him taking care of himself by alleging she could spend a few says without him. Not to get her wrong he did need him with her, but he had to think of his own health, too.

Niles had protested a bit just to keep up appearances, but he had eventually gone home putting on a show of reluctance. Next thing C.C. knew, was that the butler had a fever and that he was unfit to visit her for a few days. The Sheffields had told Niles that C.C. wasn't really happy about it, but she was coping, and the increased presence of both Noel and her parents also helped.

His stay at the hospital had been a short but boring one. The procedure had been fairly simple – after he had been admitted to the hospital, they had anaesthetised the area of his hips, inserted a needle into his hipbone and removed 1lt of bone marrow. That had been it. He had been told he'd probably be sore for a few days but that apart from that there were no other consequences he should worry about.

He left the hospital as soon as he was able, and returned to the Sheffield mansion to put away the things he'd taken with him for his stay.

Of course, he was also preparing for what he would do the very next day: go to see C.C. again. The few days without her had been long, and boring. He now had a vague idea of how C.C. must have felt in the hospital without any visitors to come see her, and with very little to do, even if her stay had been far longer than his own. It was good that he had people he could ask about how the producer had been coping without him for the first few days before he went in because it meant he had a vague idea of what she thought. But it didn't keep him from wondering about how she was every minute of the day when he was in for his donation; if she was missing him, if she was wondering how he was coping without her...

That last one might have been a bit of a stretch, even for him. But she did reportedly ask how he was, and if his sudden illness was getting any better. He hoped she'd be glad he was better, if aching, when he went to visit her again.

And it would all be more than worth it, if this treatment worked.

It seemed almost ironic, he thought to himself with a chuckle as he put the clothes he had taken with him into a laundry basket for later, that he had only just come out of a hospital, and now he was going to turn around and go straight back in.

But C.C. was there, so he'd do it gladly. After not having seen her in so many days, she could have been standing at the gates of Hell, beckoning him in, and he would have gone with a smile on his face.

He couldn't wait to see how she was, ready and waiting for her treatment. And he couldn't wait to see if it had the intended effect, either.

But he had to be patient, he told himself. The transplant wouldn't be done until weeks from then, and C.C. still had to stay at the hospital for a little while longer until she was allowed to go home. The only good news were that she only had two more chemo session to go, and then – hopefully – she wouldn't need to subject herself to that anymore.

Of course then came the hardest part – to see if she entered in remission. Wilson had said that it was the most likely outcome seeing as her cancer had been caught on time and that she had been properly treated for her illness, but the ghost of something going wrong was always there, lurking in the back of his mind.

He shook himself out of his depressing thoughts – he had just donated bone marrow to save her, he couldn't possibly be thinking about a scenario in which she didn't get better! The butler slowly made his way back to bed – the doctors had told him he would be sore, and it was no wonder seeing as they had inserted a syringe into his hipbone – and lied down, setting a few pillows behind him so he was sat partially upright. He then grabbed the phone and dialled the hospital's number – he had promised C.C. he would call her when he was 'feeling better', and seeing as he was planning on going to see her tomorrow, calling her now seemed like the most logical thing to do.

The tone buzzed for a few seconds until a receptionist answered, and after detailing who he was and with what patient he wished to speak, his call was derived to C.C.'s room. Niles could feel his heartbeat increasing by the second, and he was sure it almost burst the moment he heard her say 'hello'.

"Hello there, Babcock," he said, forcing his voice so it sounded slightly hoarse. "How are you doing?"

"Niles! I think it's me who should be asking that! How are you feeling? Have you gone to the doctor?" her voice was permeated with worry, and had Niles been in her room, he would have noticed the amused stares both Dr Wilson and Noel were giving the woman.

"I am fine, it was just a cold. I went to the hospital a few days ago and they gave me a clean bill of health. I'll be back there pestering you tomorrow."

To say that C.C. was smiling would have been a gross understatement – she was beaming all over her face. The days without Niles had been extremely boring and hard, and the pain she had had to endure after her last chemo session had been the worst by far – the butler hadn't been there to hold her, so it was no wonder. But now he was coming back, and that was what mattered!

But even though she wished the conversation to last forever – she had missed his voice too much as it was – her doctor had to place her IV in place so as to start yet another chemo session; hopefully one of her last. After exchanging a few more zingers and saying goodbye to him, she hung up the phone, but not before promising to pick up the verbal sparring tomorrow. She was glad that he was coming back, she'd need him to bear the side effects of the treatment.

"Finally! I thought your conversation would never end," Wilson huffed, putting his rubber gloves on. "How is he doing, by the way?"

"He is fine! He said he went to the hospital and-"

It happened in a second – Noel and Wilson exchanged a look and nodded minutely; the time to put their plan in action had finally come. After their talk the day C.C. had been informed about the donor, Noel and Wilson had agreed that, in order for those two to stop uselessly circling each other and finally get together, they'd have to act. They had come up with a brilliant, but subtle plan of action, and they had only had to wait until the right opportunity presented itself.

And here it was, served on a silver plate.

"Oh, so he told you the truth? He told you why he really went to the hospital?" Noel asked, feigning surprise. "I didn't think he would!"

"Neither did I," Wilson piped up. "It looks like he changed his mind about it."

C.C.'s face screwed up in confusion. What were Niles and Noel talking about? Niles had…lied to her? Why? And about what? And why did Dr Wilson and Noel look so surprise? What did they know that she didn't?!

"What… what are you talking about?" she stammered out.

There was a silence in the room, one that seemed to seep into their very skin. It was Wilson who eventually broke it with a sigh, and grabbed C.C.'s hand in an almost comforting manner, drawing her attention to him.

"Niles wasn't sick," the doctor started, "He actually had to be away for a few days so as to make a bone marrow donation," the oncologist looked into C.C.'s eyes, now full of tears and understanding, "He is the match we found for you – he is the person who is saving your life."

The producer's mouth dropped open, and she suddenly found herself unable to speak. Niles? All along, it had been Niles?

He had sat there and celebrated right along with her when Dr Wilson had said that a donor had been found. He'd grinned in happiness when she said she had a saviour out there somewhere and agreed with her without missing a single beat. He must have known then – but why didn't he tell her? There didn't seem to be any reasonable explanation for him keeping quiet over something like this! She could feel part of herself becoming angry, and confused, as to why he didn't say anything, and she looked down, away from the doctor and her brother, shaking her head minutely.

"But...why didn't he tell me?" she suddenly glared up at Wilson again. "He told you so he could make the donation – why didn't he want me to know?"

Wilson replaced her hand on her lap, and settled his in his own, "I believe Mr Brightmore's exact reasoning might have been that he felt you would...take offence, at a donation coming from him. He didn't want you to think it was done out of pity, and refuse the procedure."

She wanted to argue that she'd be a fool to refuse a donation from anyone, even from someone she knew, but she also understood the point being made, and her shoulders slumped in defeated understanding. She didn't even want anyone from the outside world to know at first, so why would she allow anyone she knew well to kick things up a notch and save her life like that?

"He also might have mentioned that he didn't want you to feel like you owed him anything for it," Noel joined in, his understanding smile holding back the beam he wanted to let loose. "Or that he was taking advantage of your condition."

She exhaled, and dropped her gaze to her lap, fumbling with her hands. Niles had saved her, because he wanted to, and he didn't want her to know about it...

"But why?" she asked. Surely he didn't-

Her thoughts were interrupted by Wilson shifting on the bed to look at her more directly.

"Come on, Babcock, I think we all know the answer to that one, don't we?"

Yes... they did.

More importantly, she did.

It was something that had been going around in her mind for quite some time now, but she hadn't been brave enough to truly think about it. But now that she had been showed the length to which Niles was willing to take things in order to save her life, she couldn't keep ignoring the fact he was in love with her.

Even thinking about it was weird... but it felt good. She had known Niles wasn't just a concerned friend, not after his actions suggested his motives were guided by love – a love he felt for her. He had stayed by her side during most of her worse days, he had held her when the pain had been too much for her to bear, he had entertained her whenever the monotony of the hospital got the best of her, and now... now he was giving her a second chance, and expecting nothing in return.

She felt tears running down her cheeks, and she simply laid back against her pillow, floored by the revelation she had just heard. The man who had been her enemy and then her friend, was in love with her.

Niles loved her...

And why didn't it exactly feel like a surprise?

In hindsight, she had always suspected it, but she had never been brave enough to admit it or event think about it. She also knew that the reason behind this was that, if she accepted that Niles loved her, she would be forced to analyse the feelings she had for him.

She knew, of course, but one thing was knowing, and another was accepting those feelings.

This... thing they had going on had started long before she had gotten sick, but due to the circumstances of their lives she had never actually stopped for a minute to even consider what she felt for the butler. The dancing, their dates, the kiss in the den... those were hints that she should have taken into account.

Ironically, it had been her illness what had finally given her the strength she needed to let him in. Granted, it hadn't been a conscious act, but she now realised why she had accepted Niles' offer of supporting her through her treatment.

She now understood why his touch was soothing when she was in pain, she now understood why she liked having him around and why she had given him medical power of attorney...

She trusted him, and she'd be damned, but love had a lot to do with her wanting him near, too.

C.C. was not ready to say it aloud, at least not to anyone but herself, and perhaps, to the butler.

"Yes... I think we do," she eventually said, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

The producer then closed her eyes and snuggled under the covers, letting only her arm out so Wilson could put her IV in place and start the dripping.

Both Noel and Wilson understood this was their cue to shut up and leave her alone with her thoughts so, after the oncologist had finished with the IV, both men quietly left the room, praying that their meddling meant that these two finally found a way to be together.

Niles couldn't believe he was back at the hospital, the time he had been away had felt almost like an eternity! He almost didn't hear the nurses' greetings as he made her way to her room in auto pilot; his mind could only focus on her.

He knew she was going to be in pain, she had had a chemo session yesterday, so the prospect of holding her in his arms was enough to lift his spirits. He wasn't happy for her pain, of course, but he was happy about the fact that he was going to hold her in his arms after having missed her like he had.

You can imagine his surprise when he entered the room and found that C.C. – unlike what had been happening since her parents and the Sheffields had found out about her cancer – was alone in her room, sitting on her bed with her arms crossed across her front and (although it was clear that the pain was making it difficult for her to keep herself together) had an almost unreadable look in her eyes.

Her posture reminded him of the one she adopted whenever she had to deal with important backers – it reminded him of when she had to discuss a matter of vital importance.

"I think we need to talk," she said before he could even say 'hello'. "I know what you did and I think we can't pretend that it didn't happen, so come here and hold me as you usually do after every chemo session so we can talk about you donating your bone marrow."

Niles froze, but everything in him felt like it had suddenly just dropped to the floor.

She knew. Someone had told her. No doubt that certain "someone" was very pleased with himself, too, especially after having promised over and over again as they'd bought the coffee that he wouldn't tell his sister about what Niles intended to do.

Why had Noel gone back on his promise? What did he think could possibly be the result of this?

"I-I...uh," he managed to stammer out, perhaps trying to form a coherent explanation that just wouldn't come. Not that he really had a chance to go any further, because C.C. calmly raised one hand to request his silence before she spoke again.

"Get over here first, and then start trying to come up with something to say, okay?" she didn't sound angry, just tired, and resolved for a long conversation.

Niles took the lack of any rage in her tone as a hint of a good sign, nodded, and slowly made his way towards her. He seated himself next to her, and gingerly placed his arms around her. She leaned into him, getting comfortable, but she was soon frowning.

"Try to relax, would you? It's like leaning on a statue," she muttered, glancing up at him. "I'm not mad, if that helps."

It did somewhat, and Niles breathed out to try and calm himself, before quietly asking, "Who told you?"

"Noel, and Dr Wilson," she replied. "They said you wanted to remain anonymous because you didn't want me to think of this as a pity donation, and that you felt, if I knew, that you'd be trapping me into owing you something by doing this."

Niles hung his head, sighing, "Yes."

"So it is true, then," the producer shifted herself so that she could look him in the face, frowning. "I mean, I believed them when they told me that's what you'd told them, but...I guess I needed confirmation."

The butler nodded. Of course she'd want to hear it from him as well, just to make sure.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm still a little upset you didn't tell me," C.C. continued, and Niles felt a slight stabbing pain in his chest. "But I also understand why you didn't and, like I said, I'm not mad. I'm actually really grateful. You did all of this without expecting anything in return, which is more than can be said for most people."

Niles lifted his head again, and C.C. lifted herself up to meet his eyes with her own.

"There is one more thing I still need confirming, though," she murmured, almost seeming afraid or embarrassed, and she swallowed and bit the inside of her lip before finishing. "Why did you do all of this for me?"

There was a part of him that wanted to lie and say something like "I did it because I care" or "I did it because you are my friend", but he knew better. The butler could sense that wasn't the answer she was expecting, and he doubted he'd sound truthful enough to make her believe those were his reasons even if he tried his best.

Besides, she knew they were going to have this conversation since she had been told he was her donor, so all the questions she did, must have been carefully thought and analysed in depth before she'd decided to make them. He supposed she had a clue of why he had done it, and that made him feel incredibly terrified. What if she didn't return his feelings? Could he handle the rejection? And if that was the case, what would happen with them? He wouldn't be able to come and visit her and he was certain he wasn't going to be allowed to hold her anymore, and that felt like a destiny worse than an eternity in hell.

He was shaking, and although part of him wished to cast her eyes away from her, he simply couldn't do it. There was something in her eyes, a certain... hope? Dare he say so? It was like a magnet, pulling his eyes to hers.

He felt his breath catching in his throat when she calmly took his hand in hers and entwined them together. It was as though she was trying to show him that everything was okay, that he could share the truth with her...

And really, her touch combined with the closeness of their bodies and the look in her eyes sealed the deal.

"Why do you think I did it?" he asked, taking his other had to her cheek and brushing his fingers against it.

"I have an idea, but if we are going to enter a new stage in our relationship, I need to hear it from you."

Niles' heart skipped a beat when she said she had a clue, let alone when she referred to what they had as a 'relationship' – he actually thought his heart was about to stop in that moment. He took a deep, calming breath and tightened his grip on her, bracing himself for what he was about to confess. This was, probably, the most important conversation of his entire life, hence him dreading it going wrong.

"Alright... I did it because... because I love you," he sighed again, feeling his heart thumping against his chest. "I truly do."

The seconds spent in silence felt like an eternity, but eventually C.C. smiled.

"You know... I think I love you, too."

And without giving him time to process her words, she pulled him down for a kiss, trying to pour in it all the love she felt for him.

It stunned him, but only for a split second, as he registered the feeling of her soft lips on his, and melted into the kiss, allowing it to deepen. C.C. moaned softly, and slipped her hand out of his, caressing along his sleeve to snake her arm up and around his shoulders and pull him in closer. He responded in kind, fervently, by pulling her towards him, and the hand that now found itself free slipped to grip her waist, his other arm wrapping fully around her back.

Eventually they had to pull away for air, but remained in each other's embrace, not talking just yet, and enjoying the sound of each other's heavy breathing as they rested. They could almost swear the other would be able to hear their heart beating, too, given that they were thudding so forcefully in their chests.

The hand that Niles had placed on C.C.'s hip gently made its way up to her cheek, stroking it softly, and he smiled at her, beginning to laugh. Looking him in the eye, the producer began to chuckle as well, and removed her hand from his shoulder to take his hand in hers again.

Mere months ago, if anyone had told either of them that they would have had quite possibly the best kiss in their lives in a hospital room, with each other, in this exact scenario, they would have scoffed at them. And now...now, the idea didn't seem ridiculous at all. It seemed a long time coming, as a matter of fact – what seemed unbelievable was the fact that they had taken so long to get to where they were.

"Nothing quite like a life-threatening disease to bring two people together, is there?" she joked. Niles tried to look unamused, but right then he was too happy for other reasons to really concern himself so much with what C.C. had just said.

"Nothing like it in the world," he eventually ended up agreeing, before planting another kiss on her lips, and the two were soon lost again to the outside world, absorbed only in each other and the feeling of love that surrounded them.

It was a good thing, too, otherwise they might have noticed Dr Wilson fist-pumping outside the door.

The oncologist tiptoed to the door and looked at the couple. They were lost in their little, blissful world, and it was beautiful. The way he held her, the way she smiled up at him as they exchanged little kisses, their soft laughs as they embraced…

They had gone through so much, those two – it hadn't been just her cancer, but also years that had been wasted pretending that they hated the other when that was clearly untrue!

But now it was over, that was the past, and from now on they would face everything together. The doctor carefully closed the door behind him and walked down the corridor, stopping Nurse Cameron, who was running to C.C.'s room because the monitors had registered her heartbeat increasing not one but three times in the last ten minutes.

They deserved their privacy, and after having spent so long trying to get them together, he was going to let them have this little while for the two of them.

And, he thought to himself as he gave Nurse Cameron a once over and laced their arms together, he now might start working on another relationship he wanted to happen.

"Cameron, mind if I invite you out for a drink?"