Chapter 11: Feel Good Inc.
"I didn't believe your mother at first, you know," Mr. Fudou said, "when she told me she didn't throw my last pack of cigarettes away."
Fudou averted his gaze, but his father's next words sent a chill through his spine.
"Look at me."
Reluctantly, Fudou obeyed, barely suppressing a flinch when his eyes met his father's. His gaze flickered briefly to his mother, who had regained composure. Her features could have been etched from stone. Swallowing, he looked back at his father. He wasn't some sort of spineless brat who couldn't face up to his mistakes. Fudou Akio could own up to his actions. Plus, his father's fury provided a welcome distraction from thinking about what happened at the alleyway. He could handle his father. At least he wouldn't kill him…
"Akio, have you been listening?" Mr. Fudou's soft voice cut through his cloud of thoughts. "I asked if you've been taking anything more than the cigarettes you stole from me."
Fudou kept his mouth welded shut as he thought. What would be the best thing to say? How much did they know? How much did they think he thought they knew?
But he dropped those questions as quickly as they came. He was way too tired for this. They'd caught him at the right time.
"Yes."
"What? What have you taken?"
Silence.
"You can tell me." Was that a slight tremor in his father's voice? Fudou knew that his father had had a pretty boring, standard life. School, university, and then a job in some company (until he lost it, of course). He probably never expected to be having this talk with his previously athletically successful son. Well, it just went to show how much he cared about the family. After Fudou started bringing back wads of money, he should've seen this talk coming a mile away.
"What brought this on?" the younger Fudou asked, genuinely curious.
His father hardened. "Answer the question. Don't stall."
Fine. "Beer."
"Where have you been getting it from?"
"I've been taking it from the trash when Mum throws your stuff out."
"And you share it with your friends?"
Fudou hesitated.
"Yes."
Behind his father, his mother buried her face in her hands.
His father's voice grew in intensity. "And you make them pay for it?"
Fudou didn't have the energy to shrug, or even to take the edge off his admission. "Yes."
There was another pause. At this point, Fudou's fatigue gave way to apathy and just the slightest curiosity as to how this was going to turn out. Would he be grounded? That didn't sound too bad right now…
His father looked way in over his head. He stared up at him, not even caring anymore. Witnessing a murder and having a near-death experience really made you re-evaluate your priorities. Was this the end of it, then?
Apparently not. Mr. Fudou seemed to make a decision, and he spoke again.
"What about drugs?"
"What about drugs?"
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about," Mr. Fudou said through gritted teeth, running one hand along his forehead and kneading his temples. "Have you been taking any drugs?"
"No."
"Don't lie to me, Akio. Come on. Tell me."
A spark of anger ran through Fudou's heart. Surely it was obvious that he had, so why didn't his father just grow a spine and call him out on it? "What do you want me to say? You know already, don't you? Ramen Shades must've told you everything. Yes, I tried it! I never want to again!"
Of course, saying it didn't make him feel better. His father's expression didn't change into something more sympathetic after hearing him express his regret. This wasn't a manga or a drama, after all. His mother shook, and buried her face into her hands.
"What was it?" his father asked.
"Ecstasy. Or so he said." Ah, that had probably been the wrong thing to say. Not that Fudou particularly cared at the moment.
"Who is this person?"
"Someone from the group that I get jobs with."
His father's expression turned grimmer, but Fudou couldn't look away. Moving his head would be too exhausting. Hell, moving his eyes would be too exhausting. His mother let out a sob, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Not right now. Not when they didn't know anything about the whole thing.
"So, your group…"
"It's a real jobs group," Fudou answered. "At least, it was. I never lied to you except just now." Well, he'd lied to his mother, but technically he was only talking to his father right now, and to mention that would make things more complicated, so…
His father seemed at a loss for words. When he finally said something, it only made Fudou feel worse.
"You had a future, Akio… You had a scholarship at a top sports school. And now? What happened?"
How was his past even relevant?
"Please." He let his gaze drop, and leaned back against the wall. Tired, he fell back onto the familiar excuses. "Spare me. Kageyama was a psycho. He had it out for Raimon all this time. It was only a matter of time. He was the one who endorsed me for the school. He told me to challenge Raimon to a match. It wasn't my fault it turned out that way. It's not like I had a choice."
"We always have a choice, Akio! You sent three boys to hospital! We have to look within ourselves with every action we make, see the consequences of those actions, and decide based on those consequences, not based on who's telling us to do things!"
Fudou kept his mouth shut. His father didn't understand. His father didn't understand anything, as always. Having the nerve to preach from his soapbox when it was because of his idealism that they fell into this mess all those years ago.
"I am so, so disappointed in you, Akio," his father said, and that was the final straw. Fudou looked back up at his father, glaring at him through his eyelashes. He could feel his face contorted into a horrible scowl, and his next words were venomous.
"And what have you been doing, huh? At least I've been bringing money back. We got sardines yesterday because of that money!"
Mr. Fudou gaped. "It's dirty money. What happened three years ago—you were too young—but profiting off this kind of money is the worst kind of act. I can't believe that my son lacks so much in morals. I'm just ashamed of you, and myself. I truly am." Yep, his father had officially gone off the deep end. Fudou tried to pretend that his words didn't hurt, that his father was just somebody who didn't know better, who didn't know what the world was really like… but hell, even now… who was he kidding?
"Go ahead!" he spat out. "I am a cruel person! It's a harsh world! It was working. We actually had a good dinner for once. They paid. They never told me to stop bringing things over. You're just too much of a coward to dare to do things differently!"
Mr. Fudou stared at his son, and as the seconds passed Fudou felt that burst of righteous anger drain away. It was quiet, and he wondered if he had really yelled at his father just moments earlier. When his father opened his mouth to speak, he rolled his eyes, but this action felt strangely hollow.
His father closed his eyes. "Akio, go to your room."
"No." The reply slipped out of his mouth. One part of Fudou was telling himself to stop being so stubborn, and to get some rest, and this was what you wanted just now wasn't it? But Fudou wasn't going to let his father end this on his terms. He'd end this his own way.
"Fuck this." Fudou backed through the hallway, one step after another, keeping his gaze on his father. "I'm outta here." He swiped his key from the lock, spun around, and stalked through the yard.
It was only when he swung the fence shut that he realised two things.
One: His father hadn't flinched even once during their whole encounter. And two: Neither of his parents had come running out to call him back in.
Fudou had barely turned the corner of his street before he started to regret what had just happened. It wouldn't have been that huge a blow to his pride for him to accept his punishment and go to his room. At least he would've been able to sleep on a soft bed. He would've been able to get something to eat too. His parents may have been angry, but they wouldn't have been heartless enough to deprive him of dinner.
He started to make his way to town, wanting to put some distance between himself and the house. Though his fury was gone, a dull irritation remained. He accepted that what he did to Wada and the others was wrong on some degree, legally, and probably also morally, since he did overcharge them quite a bit. But so? They couldn't get the goods any other way. He had been doing them a favour. Who was his father to turn his back on all the effort Fudou had put in to try to help the family?
But this had happened before, hadn't it? Shin Teikoku had dropped him when his ties with them became inconvenient. Kageyama didn't even try to hide his reasons and just did it outright. The ramen guy, Hibiki, as well. For all his posturing and pacification that day in the alley, where had he been just now?
His stomach growled, and he cursed. He hadn't eaten anything since breakfast… Fudou dug into his pockets. There were no more cigarettes in there but maybe there would be some odd change. Sure enough, there were a few coins in one pocket, one coin in another, and a few more coins in the zipped compartment just above his knee. Fudou gathered them all in one hand and counted them.
96 yen.
Great. That could probably buy him a bun or something.
Still, it was better than nothing. Fudou set off, not worried in the slightest about being out while it was dark. He was far from the turf where he'd witnessed the murder, so he didn't have to worry about them. Nobody would ever think of mugging a ratty-looking skinny kid with a mohawk and a blood-red tattoo. And even if they did, all he had on him was 96 yen. Sometimes it was good to feel like you had nothing to lose.
He walked into the store, made a beeline for the bread section and spent a few minutes picking which to buy. He didn't want to waste his money buying something horrible for what would basically be his entire day's worth of food, after all. When he was done, he headed to the cashier and dropped the bun on the counter. He picked out his money, and looked up at the cashier to see Cap.
It would be hard for passersby to tell who was more shocked. After Fudou realised he was staring, he pushed the bun further towards Cap, not sure what to make of the situation. Cap had a sniffy look on his face, like he was looking at roadkill. Displeased would have been an understatement. It was actually kind of funny, since Fudou could count the amount of times he'd seen Cap without his stoner face on with one finger.
But still, quite an awkward situation.
"Look, Cap," Fudou started to say, but Cap held up a hand.
"Save it. I'm working here. What do you want?"
Fudou still had enough presence of mind to think that it was obvious, what with him holding the bread just now and all. "Apart from a bun, not much. How're you?"
"All right. You gonna pay, then? A line's growing behind you."
The moment he walked out of the line, Fudou ripped the bread packaging apart and wolfed it down. For all his careful selection, making sure that he picked his absolute favourite, he finished eating in seconds and didn't remember anything of what the taste was like, except that it tasted great. He probably could have bought some shitty-ass brand and still have it taste like heaven.
Fudou still had some things to settle with Cap, so he stayed near the counter, waiting for him to finish dealing with the line. When Cap was done, he approached Fudou and glared at him with arms crossed. Fudou curled his lip and stared back. Some things he hadn't lost yet.
"Did you see a necklace around your place anywhere?"
"The one you always wear? No. I cleaned up after you guys left." Cap's normally easygoing eyes gleamed like brass. "Didn't see a thing."
"Okay. Okay." Fudou shook his head and tried to back off, but Cap wouldn't let him leave.
"What you been up to lately? Corrupting more kids and expanding your gang? Starting a drug dealing ring?" His words battered Fudou and he recoiled sharply. No, today was really not a good day.
"Stop it about the drugs thing," he hissed. "And I'll have you remember that it wasn't me who brought them in. Your childhood best friend Takan did," he stressed, and there was a twitch in his heart at the sudden jolt in Cap's expression. He'd hit a nerve.
"It doesn't save the fact that you were stoned off your ass and that Maki was about to give you head," Cap said in a quiet, yet viciously ugly voice. "In my room. I couldn't stop you. You guys, together, you were all lovey and cuddly, but when Shogo or I tried to talk to you, you answered with punches and kicks."
"What can I say?" Fudou put both hands on the counter and leaned forward, because he was clearly going to be there a while. "Maki's much hotter than you. Obviously I don't want to make out with you." His tone was insincere (take that, Cap), but he was watching him carefully for any signs of concession. Fudou was ready for a fight, but after everything that had happened today… he really didn't want one.
Cap scoffed. "How's everyone doing?" Fudou heard the question within that, so, naturally, he didn't answer it until the last possible moment.
"Maki is fine. She's becoming more girly. Wada is just around. Takan is fine, too." He knew his tone was bitter, but hell, he'd had enough of hiding things for today.
"You speak of them like they're strangers," Cap observed, dismissing him briefly to deal with a customer and turning back to Fudou when he was done. Cap looked odd on duty. Fudou had half-expected to be kicked out or yelled at already, not this strange thing in between. "The drug thing not working out? You not getting your share?"
The dead body flashed past his retinas again, and Fudou recoiled. "Shut it about the drug already!"
Cap's expression rippled. He looked right about to turn his back.
"Wait. That's not what I meant. Just… don't talk about it." No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the image of the body in the alleyway out of his mind.
Cap paused and backed off, a thoughtful expression on his face. Seconds later, he said, "Well, you wanna wait till my shift ends?"
Next chapter: IS THIS THE BEGINNING OF SOME CAP X FUDOU BROMANCE?! Or something more?! We'll see.