That couldn't have gone worse. That away mission started as one hell and ended as another. Brass looked out of the infirmary window. The Bullhead had flown a b-line to the nearest settlement. Brass thought back to what had happened. It was a blur as he thought about it, an effect of events driven by adrenaline.
He remembered talking to Ember about how things were taking longer than he'd expected. Then his instincts screamed to protect the kids. He didn't hesitate and shielded them in a ball of earth. It wasn't well made nor was it fully formed when the room exploded. That's when things became a blur. He recalled one of the kids lightly slapping him awake, getting out of the warehouse with Ember on his back, and then being at the Bullhead.
He cupped his face in his hands trying to recall more details. He could only remember his sense of panic and concern for the kids. Thanks to his wall he saved them from the blast; most of them at least. Some of the kids had been seriously injured and he was waiting for updates on their condition.
"Mr. Stark?" a soft voice asked to his left.
Brass turned to see one of the nurses standing there. Brass looked her in the eye and knew she had good news.
"Everyone is recovering," she updated him. "The kids you brought in, while one was touch and go, they'll all make a full recovery. As for your friend Ember, he'll have some scars but nothing more."
"Thank you," Brass said. "Can I visit them? I feel useless in this bed."
"Yes," the nurse said. "You may visit all the other patients at this time."
Brass didn't hesitate. He shifted himself out of his bed and shuffled out of his room. It had been almost a full day since they got here. Brass had tried to visit his team earlier but had been cut off by staff insisting he and his team gets rest. He obliged after much persuasion.
He went to check on Ember first. He was just next to Brass on the right form where Brass was. The hospital in this settlement was small but busy. It was only because they were Huntsmen with an official Huntress that they were seen to immediately. Brass hoped they would be in and out so the hospital could see its regular patients accordingly.
"Oi, chief!" Brass announced as he burst into Ember's room.
He saw a bandaged Ember look back at him from his bed. Ember half smiled at his teammate. The bandages covered the right side of his face down past his eye. He had other bandages wrapped around that vanished beneath his gown.
"Hey, I see you're up and moving," Ember said. "I probably won't for a day or two."
"Huh?" Brass said. "Why are you always getting so injured? What? Couldn't handle the heat?"
"It was an explosion," Ember clarified. "Besides, Doctors say I'll just have some scarring here."
Ember gestured to the bandaged side of his face. Brass hid a frown. He was upset his leader had taken such a beating. It was his judgement call that led Ember to have been hurt. He'd do it again, but it still hurt.
"Hey," Ember said, "You made the right call."
"Yeah I did," Brass said.
"Don't feel sorry for me," Ember scolded. "I see it behind your eyes. These scars go great with my name. Burn scars and the name 'Ember.' It's absolutely perfect."
Brass smiled at these comments.
"Hey, I need a favor," Ember said.
"Sure, what is it?" Brass said. "But I won't scratch anything for you."
"No," Ember said. "Nothing like that. I need you to help me into a wheel chair and get me to Yale."
"Oh," Brass said, recalling what he'd heard had happened from Midnight. "Why?"
"He needs his leader," Ember said, "he's definitely going through some stuff."
Brass went and got Ember a wheel chair from some of the staff. As he reentered Ember's room he saw the wounds his leader had sustained. The bandages wrapped around his back and down his legs. His arms were bandaged as well. Even from the other side of the room the distortions from the fresh burns were visible.
"I burned my feet," Ember said. "You know, the feet are some of the most sensitive places on the body. Thing is, I don't feel them at all. Really shows how many chemicals I'm on."
Ember turned and gave Brass a huge smile. He wheeled the chair around and helped his chief into the seat. Ember didn't wince once as Brass carefully moved his burned body.
"You know where Yale is?" Ember asked.
"Yeah," Brass said.
He pushed his chief down the hall to the left. Yale was only three doors down. It was funny, for an instant, as Brass realized they'd been ordered Ember, Brass, Nick, and Yale. It was their team order exactly. He guessed Midnight had some odd hand in that.
He wheeled Ember into Yale's room. Already sitting inside was Nick. He was sitting quietly in a visitors chair next to Yale's bed. Yale was sitting up, with the assistance of his bed, starring out the window. All that was out the window was a small wall and beyond that was the forest of Grimm.
"Hey, Yale," Ember said slowly.
Yale turned to look at Ember. His eyes were distant and seemed to not even recognize his leader. It unnerved Brass to see his teammate like this.
"Hey," Yale replied softly.
"I'm sorry," Ember said.
"About?" Yale asked.
"I know what happened," Ember continued, "at least, what you've told us so far."
"Oh," Yale returned. "It wasn't your fault. I… I made a mistake. I… I…"
"No," Ember cut him off. "You made a judgement call."
"I killed him," Yale argued. "I killed him. He's… dead, because of me."
"And who do you plan to blame for that?" Ember asked.
"What?" Yale asked.
"Are you going to blame yourself for killing him?" Ember asked. "Or are you going to accept you killed him. Are you going to understand the burden or reel from it?"
"There's no difference," Yale responded.
"There is," Ember said. "We don't react like this when killing a Grimm – "
"THIS WASN'T A GRIMM!" Yale screamed.
Brass and Nick reacted as though they'd been slapped. They'd known Yale for about half a year at this point and neither had ever heard him raise his voice. Ember hadn't flinched at the outburst. His eyes stayed locked on his teammate.
"I killed a living, breathing, human," Yale continued more subdued. "He won't come back. His family will never see him again. Everyone who cared for him… I took that from them. I don't have the right to do that."
"No one does," Ember agreed. "However, as Huntsmen we will be called to do things we shouldn't. We don't get to follow the rules. We aren't people, we are glorified killers. That is only because we kill to protect those unable to protect themselves."
"I'm not," Yale said. "I'm… I'm…"
"Someone teetering on the edge," Ember said. "You killed a man, yes. You cannot undo that. However, because you killed him he won't be kidnapping anymore children. You have to ask yourself, was that worth it? Was that right?"
"It isn't that simple," Yale pleaded. "I can't just decide what is worth someone else's life."
"Then let this be a reminder," Brass interjected. "No good, even for children, is worth taking another's life. You can remember today as the day you vowed to never kill again. That man will save you from yourself."
Yale starred at brass for a few seconds. Tears began to well up in his eyes. He didn't brush them away. He sniffled and let them roll down his cheek.
"I will never forget this man," Yale said.
"Catharsis," Midnight said, suddenly appearing in the room. "Always good, but you don't even really know his name. Also, speaking from experience, you won't always have the luxury of mercy."
"Midnight, get out of here," Ember said.
"So rude, and to your teacher," Midnight returned sarcastically.
"He doesn't need this," Ember said.
"What, can't us killers all be friends?" Midnight joked.
"Mission's over," Nick said. "We don't need you anymore."
"My, my, my," Midnight said. "This is just a room of bad asses."
"Please leave," Yale asked.
"What, or you'll kill me?" Midnight said, with a laugh.
"Midnight!" Ember said.
When her laughter subsided, she said to Ember, "No, you're far more likely to do that."
With that Midnight left the room. Everyone sat silently for a moment. Brass really wanted to know what Midnight meant. He hesitated to ask because he'd felt an immeasurable dread when Midnight made the comment. Brass's instincts had screamed to get out of the way of something, but nothing had happened.
"Ember?" Yale ventured.
Brass could feel the tension in the air as Yale tried to ask what everyone wanted to know. He looked down at the half broken leader in the wheel chair. He wasn't afraid, but his gut told him his earlier dread was the cause of this tiny person.
"I don't want to talk about it," Ember returned.
"Will you ever?" Nick asked.
Ember looked up with dead eyes as he said, "No."
Brass saw him holding his left arm tightly with his free hand. He wasn't sure if Ember realized it so he didn't say anything.
"I need to rest," Ember said. "Midnight is… a lot to handle. Brass, if you would please?"
"Sure," Brass said.
He took his leader back to his room and helped him back into his bed. Ember thanked him and fell asleep. Brass left the room but looked back at his leader as he went through the door. There was no way that Ember was a killer. If he was, it had to be similar to what Yale experienced. He knew it.