Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.
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Chapter Eleven
"I'm impossible to forget, but I'm hard to remember."
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"Okay." I said, announcing myself as I entered Mattie's kitchen, only to find her sitting in her pyjama's, looking boredly at a bowl of cereal. "Who's your best friend?" I asked, sitting down next to her.
"Oh a quiz," She replied mockingly, "Let me think… now, it wouldn't be the evil person who rang me at EIGHT this morning on my ONLY day off this week, because my best friend would never be that cruel, right? So who is sitting next to me you ask?" She continued sarcastically, "That would be my former best friend who's body was invaded by the most stupid person in the world." She said, throwing her spoon into her cereal, causing milk to splatter all over her.
"Crap." She said finally, groaning as her head fell onto the table. "Just kill me now. Make it quick and painless."
"Drama queen." I replied, rolling my eyes and standing up, walking towards the sink in search of a cloth.
"Witch of the day." She replied in a snarky tone, her head still on the table.
"Why did your bestest of all best friends get you out of bed this early Matilda Hunter?" I asked, as she automatically lifted her head for me to clean under. "Why did she leave the new flavour of the month boyfriend behind?" I continued, laughing as she glared at me.
"Because its more fun to torture your best friend one on one?" She asked bitterly.
"Two words," I replied, dumping her now empty bowl and cloth in the sink and turning to her, flashing two shiny cards. "Shopping spree."
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"This is the life." Mattie said happily from next to me as she bounced along in the crowded shopping centre.
"So I've retained the best friend crown then, despite the early morning start?" I replied, grinning as she nodded sheepishly.
"Yeah, I must apologise for that, but you of all people should know how crabby I am in the mornings! I need my beauty sleep, especially if I'm expected to try and snag one of the yummy boys around here…" She said, her eyes wandering as a large group of males passed us. "I knew there was a reason we moved to Sydney. Shopping and boys." She sighed happily, any glimmer of the annoyed girl I'd spent the first moments of the morning with gone.
"It feels right to be back here, doesn't it?" I said, as she nodded.
"Feels like home." She replied, looking around her. "Because it is home." She said finally, smiling a little.
"Maybe." I replied, looking at her closely. "What about Summer Bay? Isn't that home?"
"Not any more." She replied, all too quickly.
"Mattie, what's wrong?" I asked finally, because confronting her was the only way I was going to get through this.
"I can't decide what I want for lunch." She said mockingly, as she reached the food court. "Pizza, to pack on the pounds, or a light sushi, healthy in every way."
"That's not what I meant." I replied, shooting her a look, which she tactfully ignored. "What's wrong?" I asked again, because there's nothing like persistence to open up an old friend.
"Nothing." She said, shutting herself off from me and looking down watching people walk on by.
"Yeah right." I scoffed. "Best friend of five years here, remember? I know when something isn't right Mattie, and I'm telling you, something is not right! So spill, or we'll never go home." I finished firmly, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Well I guess we're moving back to Sydney then." She said defensively.
"What's wrong with Summer Bay?" I continued, as her eyes glazed over a little, as if she were lost in all time and space "Why isn't Summer Bay home any more?"
"Maybe because it doesn't feel like home any more." She said, a little louder than expected. "Maybe because I miss this place. I miss its people. I miss the packed shops and how it takes half an hour to get somewhere. Maybe I'm sick of all the small town gossip, the small town shops, and the small town people. Maybe I'm made for bigger things." She said finally, pompously.
"Who the hell is speaking?" I asked angrily "Because it sure as hell isn't Matilda Hunter. Who are you?" I said, as she glared down at me. "You don't honestly believe all those things, do you?"
"I did once. When I first came. Maybe I've just been pretending, maybe I've just been in a Summer Bay Coma for the last five years? The town could have that effect on people." She joked, attempting badly to lighten the mood. I shook my head, looking away from her sadly.
"I'm your best friend Mattie. And you can't even tell me what's really wrong."
"That's because there isn't anything that's really wrong." She snapped back at me, her eyes fuelled by an anger that I'd never seen before. "Why can't you just leave it at that?" She said harshly, glaring at me.
I opened my mouth to say something, but, for the first time in our relationship, found myself at a loss for words.
"Can we just, go back now?" She said finally, and I nodded, not commenting on the fact she'd said back, not home.
Because at some stage of today, my best friend had run away.
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The drive home was awkward. There was a heavy silence in the car. Of unspoken truths and misguided opinions. Mattie stared out the window for the entire drive back. Her eyes still had that look, and I knew that she was lost, but I just couldn't reach out to her, and pull her back into the world she knew. I'd done all the reaching I could. It was now her turn to reach out to me.
We pulled up into her driveway, but neither of us made any attempt to move. Finally, after an excruciating five minutes, Mattie turned to look at me. Her eyes were almost soulless, lifeless, a world apart from the woman I'd lived with for the last year.
Her eyes flicked to mine, and she opened her mouth, and I just knew that she was reaching out to me, wanting to let me into her lost little world. And as the first word was falling from her lips, a voice called out in the distance.
"Mattie, I'm so glad you're home." Sara said, as she approached the car. "Luke and I have been stressing all day. He wanted to do guy stuff with Ric, whatever that means…" She said, as Mattie muttered surfing under her breath. "And so he thought you, Cassie and I could spend the day together. Only, when we got up you were gone, no note or anything. And Ric had no idea where Cassie was either…" She said, looking at us worriedly. "And so we've spent the entire day worrying about where you two were. You've got to come inside now." She said, opening the door and practically yanking Mattie out of her seat. "They'll be so pleased to know you're home."
She looked up at Sara, her eyes vividly darting around her face. I watched on, as she pulled her arm out of Sara's grasp, and walked towards the sandy path of the ocean. Pausing for a moment, she turned around to look at me.
"Her home now. Not mine." She sighed sadly, as her hand reached up to wipe a single tear that fell down her cheek, before turning on her heels and running towards the ocean. Sara looked towards me, utterly bewildered and confused, but I could only give her a small smile before beginning to walk after Matilda.
"Hey." Sara yelled out after me "I want to come too."
"No." I sighed, turning to face her "Its not… she wouldn't…. you just, can't okay?" I said, ignoring the crushed look she threw at me.
"Oh," She said, spite searing through her fake sadness "I get it, its like a friends only thing, right?" She said, glaring a little.
"Yeah," I responded, walking away "A best friends thing."
I found her, alone, on the shoreline, her cheeks stained from tears shed only moments before.
I sat down next to her, gently putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her to me. As she fell against my arm, she sniffled a little, as she tried to calm her breathing.
"I'm not jealous." She whispered, under her breath. "Not like that. He was mine first though. My friend, my lover, my one. And its hard, letting go. Its hard, being here, because everything reminds me of us, and there isn't an us any more. This isn't who I am, I'm not part of a we. I'm not at home any more." She rambled, and despite everything being jumbled and messed up, I knew exactly what she meant.
"I don't want to be like this." She sobbed into my chest. "I don't want to be that person who can never move on. Because I'm not. I just, can't do it while they are here, together. I mean," She stuttered "I have moved on, but I haven't let go. I miss his friendship Cassie," She cried against my chest. "I miss his friendship more than anything, and I feel that… that… with Sara here, nothing can be how it should be, because I don't want to threaten her."
Whether she wanted me to speak or not, I didn't know. I couldn't know. Because this Mattie, this girl was someone who was only beginning to bare her soul to me. She was only now reaching out for the hand that had remained outstretched until she wanted to grasp it, and hold on for dear life.
So I held her, as she crumbled in my arms. A broken girl, needing to know she was no longer alone.
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AN: There you go, two updates in one. Thank you for all the reviews, but I get this story up as quickly as I can. It will be finished, and not forgotten. Hopefully there will be another update before Christmas :)