"Eve, I think I've wasted enough of your time," M sighed. "Look, haven't you got something you need to be doing?"
"Well, I was meant to be at a debriefing/psychology test about ten minutes ago now."
"Then you're going to be in serious shit. Get a move on!"
Eve turned and left, and M slumped at her desk, accidentally elbowing over the open bottle of water lying next to her. Thinking about what she had just told Eve made her want to remember. Not the really bad, mentally - and physically, in some cases - scarring stuff. But her final debriefing...
Evelyn dragged herself out of the pool, still completely soaking wet and totally was a strong swimmer; not particularly fast, but she could go for ages. She trudged soggily over to her mobile phone, which was in her kit bag and ringing impatiently. "M?" She said, picking it up and holding it to her ear.
"Evelyn, where are you?"
"Swimming," she said. "But what're you calling for, our meeting's not for another fifteen minutes."
"How long have you been at it?"
"Three quarters of an hour; I was planning to keep going for another ten minutes."
"Right. How much have you done?"
"Just under four kilometers now."
"You're still on recovery, remember, don't overdo it. Look, the thing with the PM took less time than anticipated, can I get you as soon as possible?"
"Test results?"
"Affirmative."
"I'll be right there." With that, Evelyn snapped her phone shut, threw a towel around her shoulders and made her way towards the changing rooms.
"Right, you know why you're here,'' M said, as Evelyn took a seat, still wringing out her wet hair. "Now, I'm going to ask you. What do you think you got on your physical exam?"
"Forty percent?" Evelyn guessed, shrugging and investigating a random bruise on the back of her hand.
"Seventy-four," M said. "Psychology, now. What do you think came up?"
"All the general from someone who's been tortured. Mental scarring, chance of bad nightmares, possible alcoholism or substance addiction, that sort of thing."
"No less psychologically stable than you were when you left. All in all, Evelyn, I am very impressed with how you've turned out. With the exception of just one thing. Now, I very seldom call agents in here unless there is cause for concern or I think there is a need for them to step down, and you are no different. Why do you think that might be?"
"Search me," Evelyn murmured, looking up, completely drained of color. Okay, why the hell was she being told to step down after she had been *this* close to dying?
"Your self defense has gone completely down the pan. Your martial arts skills are severely lacking and your ability to fire a gun is totally nonexistent. I was intending to promote you to a 00, until these results came through. I am afraid that you have to leave MI6 unless you are willing to keep on as a mission controller or secretary. But, there is a silver lining. Look at this." M handed her an envelope. Evelyn could barely read it, due to the tears welling up in her eyes. She would far sooner die than leave MI6, but the three letters at the top of the paper changed everything.
They say that every cloud has it's silver lining. And that particular dark cloud that had swallowed M up after that last mission had gained her not one but two things. Her current position, as when the last M had retired, he had left the role in her well-capable hands. And the final three letters of her real name. MBE.
M stared hard at one of the scars above the inside of her wrist. Scars don't fade. as she knew by now, both physical and mental. But you have to let go. To quote Lana Del Ray, M knew how she felt about Silva;
There's no remedy for memory,
His face is like a melody,
It won't leave my head,
His soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine,
But I wish I was dead...
But she had to let go. She couldn't let her past haunt her forever. She sighed again, and started tapping into her computer the end of Silva's final dossier.
Raoul Silva was one of the best agents I have come across in my whole career. In a word; reliable. I would have trusted the man with my life. And nothing pains me more than to write these few words. Raoul Silva is missing and presumed dead after a mission in Dandong, China. H leaves no known family, but was an enormous credit to this service. Today, MI6 lost a great agent...
But life goes on, M thought...