Light appeared to be suffering from a mild heart attack. His jaw had dropped and sweat began to trickle down his face; it would have been understandable if it hadn't been in reaction to Naomi's outfit. She felt like punching him in the face and telling him to stop being a pervert, sadly she had the vague feeling that it wouldn't be a good idea whenever he chose to enact his revenge. And whatever that revenge might entail, it depended when Light Yagami found his brain.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He screamed and pointed at the skirt in horror; honestly he looked more terrified than when his father had tried to kill him, as if his whole universe was being ripped apart.

"Clothes, Yagami-san, I am wearing clothes."

Someone coughed and muttered something that was either 'slut' or 'whore', personally she'd rather be called a whore because they didn't necessarily enjoy it and they actually made some money off of it. Being a slut would just be insulting; she could handle being a whore.

She bet it was Aizawa, because secretly he must have been harboring dreams of becoming a pimp. Why else would he have that obnoxious fro? Or maybe it was Mogi because she would suspect him the least. Or maybe it was Matsuda because he was a blunt moron.

"Eh? Light, why are you chained to Ryuzaki?" That of course would be Light's blonde dog dressed in white pajama's; L had decided that Light's pseudo execution would much less entertaining if everyone was distracted by Misa-Misa's strawberry underwear.

Naomi's official answer would have been 'Oh he needs to keep an eye on Light that way he can catch him in the act.' But her true answer was much more insulting, 'L is actually a gay bastard who intends to seduce and keep Light Yagami all to himself; the chain just makes Mr. Snuggles officially his bitch.'

It was true, but she was never going to admit it. Especcially when Soichiro had already had one heart attack, god knows what a second would do to him.

"Because Light Yagami could be a dangerous criminal and needs to be watched at all hours of the day, does that answer your question Misa?" No it answered nobody, because everyone was really wondering when L was going to come out of the closet with a pair of handcuffs in tow.

The Beyond Birthday case made so much more sense now, BB wasn't a megalomaniac he was L's spurned and neglected lover. Clearly the jam was just the aftershock of being forced into sex with someone that looked vaguely like a crack head. And she had prevented him from burning himself alive, if she had to have sex with L she might have tried to burn herself alive to. Naomi noted to herself that perhaps it was a good time to go to L.A.'s prison and apologize to that poor madman.

Suicide looked preferable to being handcuffed to the man that resembled the anorexic carcass of a panda that had been picked apart by vultures.

"But that's disgusting!" Well it was nice to know the blonde whore had a decent grasp of the obvious.

"Amane-san, do I look as if I am enjoying myself?" L asked the blonde she-witch. Naomi supposed that it was meant to be rhetorical, but from the look on L's face, yes he was enjoying himself immensely.

Everyone eyed the chain between L and Light dubiously, except for Misa who looked ready to throw a hissy fit at the mere thought of L putting his hands on Light's body. Naomi wasn't sure whether to be jealous or disgusted, she decided to go with both.

She was going to have horrific nightmares about this; she was certain of it.

I'm not sure to describe how I feel

I could say that whenever I see you I hear music

Or that I see a thousand rainbows in your eyes

Or something corny, and romantic, and all together not my style

I'll tell you the truth because unlike Misa Amane you can handle it

You give me migraines

Yes, staring at you has given me an indefinite headache

Being near you makes my body feel as if it had been run over by a dozen semi trucks

And afterwards, when you're out of sight,

I think 'Dear God, why do I keep seeing this woman?'

The answer is simple

I'm addicted to you

Screw being accustomed to your face

I am addicted to the migraines you give me however painful they might be

If you have the antidote, or can find a way for me to suddenly go cold turkey, please share

If you don't I'll mount your head on a wall.

I will

I seriously will

I am considering this

There's a great possibility…

Post Script

Go to Hell

Author's Note: Well as for the score for the comma contest goes the scores are the same as last chapter, but as I might have mentioned once or twice how this fic is unbelievably long and keeps getting longer I believe you have lots of time to come up with a metaphor. Anyway, you know how I've been updating every three days or something to that effect? Well that's going to stop, for about two weeks then I'll be back on the updating bandwagon. So don't complain, this is unbelievably fast for me. I mean look at SOT when was the last time I updated that?

Reviews would be nice, even if it's someone berating me on my descriptions of L, go ahead I'm prepared.

Disclaimer: I'm not arrogant enough to believe I own the glory that is Death Note