Ch. 11
"Beck I am not going to school today, I know it's Friday and you thought the end of the week would be a good day for me to start going back. But after hearing the news I know other people have probably heard it. I can't handle this right now-if you don't mind I would prefer a tutor come to the house in the afternoons. Preferably Sicowitz. I know I am the star in the play but I want Cat to have my role; she is my under study and I won't be able to focus on anything Beck…"
"Tori you're fine-I understand." Beck says quietly while stroking my hair. "We will get to the bottom of this whole thing." "No Beck you don't understand if Andre didn't rape me if it was his brother this whole time-then perhaps I owe it to him to go back out with him."
"TORI ARE YOU SERIOUS? You're with me? Tori?" Beck couldn't form words and was speechless. But if it was Andrew Harris and not Andre-then I owed it to him to be a faithful woman and return to his side. "This was a mistake Beck… I'm sorry I shouldn't have made you a part of my life. Oh Andre I am so sorry"
"Tori you don't mean that you can't just leave. You don't even know yet. Wait for the trial to be over Tori. Please just stay with me. I gave you my virginity-you don't know what that means for me."
I didn't say anything I began to cry-this whole situation just blew up in my face. Beck really does love me and I know that. But if Andre was set up-doesn't he at least deserve to be heard out by me. And then I remember that Andre has an identical twin-they look like clones. That tragic event would be written on both their faces. If I looked at Andre I would remember what it felt like to be under that mighty wave of force. If it was Andrew I still felt the same way about him. I would be terrified in front of both of them. In a way both of them raped me.
"Beck I can't be with you anymore. This news has damaged me. I am going to pack up my things and I am going to leave for good this time. I can't be in this town-where everyone knows me."
"Let's move away together and move to Canada when the school year is out. But please don't leave me. I hate it when you threaten to leave it breaks my heart Tori" As he said this tears find their way to his eyes. And Beck begins to weep-he cares for me so much and I am starting to realize how rash my actions are. How hell can turn me into an irrational bitch.
"Beck we can move to Canada but I am NOT RETURNING to that school for any reason. I love Hollywood Arts and you know that but it has been ruined for me. Please get a tutor to come here. I am not leaving your trailer for any reason. I want to know who raped me Beck. I?" I begin to cry a little in front of Beck. But I know he cares about me. He rushes over to me and puts his arms around me to comfort me.
"Take your time sweetie; I know you need time to heal. You need to give yourself that time Tori. Your behavior is off the charts." He stares into my eyes with those baby browns the ones I fell in love with. Then I remember how he made me feel-how he gave me his virginity-how he makes me feel like I am free.
"Beck, I love you I am sorry…I am so…hurt!" Crying is in my throat like a frog. "Tori we will graduate soon and I promise we can move to Canada. I can tell you need to get out of this town for your mental health. We can move to Stratford, Canada in Ontario they have acting schools and universities all over there. I am sure you could apply to one of the schools and get in easily" said Beck. He is such a sweet guy and I can tell he wants to move with me to Canada.
"Beck can Cat move with us? When we go to Canada? She might want to come and she deserves the opportunity and frankly I could use her for moral support." "Sure Tori we can discuss this later. I am headed off to school and I will ask them if you can have a tutor come to the house."
Once again I know he loves me and I know I am safe with him. Perhaps moving to Canada would be the best option and I am certain that getting away from Hollywood, my family, and nosy neighbors would do me some good. I head to the couch and pop in a Big Bang Theory box set. Only Sheldon Copper's character can make me feel better about my current situation and I feel less pathetic as I watch him fail on television.