Her grip on the doors handle tightened almost painfully as she tried to hold herself together. Why was he here? Was he going to yell at her like Bray? Call her a monster? Tell her he she was a murderer and he never wanted to even set eyes on her again? No. She couldn't deal with this yet. She wasn't ready. He had to leave now. Ebony didn't know how to convince him of her innocence, she needed time to prepare herself, plan her explanation and work up the courage to give him her heart. She could sense her knuckles turning white with the force behind her grip and felt her heart beat quickening. She needed...
'Ermm...' She heard him begin reminding her he was still there, that this was real and she had no idea on how to handle this situation. Out of everything she had faced, she felt more out of her depth in this moment, with this confrontation than she did when facing down a mob on her own. Her eyes flickering to his downwards face that was currently watching his hands fiddling almost tensely with the hem of his shirt, lacking any object to release his nervous energy on. She surprised herself at noticed the small difference in this type of nervous fidgeting from what she had seem before, he seemed much more stressed but then again that's probably how you're meant to feel when facing a monster.
She saw he inhale deeply, lifting his eyes back up to her, no doubt preparing himself to tell her how he really saw her and destroy what little hope she had left.
'Can I err...' He seem to get frustrated at himself looking away quickly before trying again with more force. 'Can I come in?' He get out before adding in a rush, 'please?'
Not expecting that question and extremely confused as to why he'd want to, she stepped back stiffly, hand still holding strong on the door maybe now more for balance as she made room for him to enter. Didn't he think it would be dangerous to be alone in a room with her after everything he thought he knew about her? Did he just not want to get caught by the militia? But despite all these thoughts, as he crossed the threshold of her suit a small bit of hope survived.
He made his way towards her desk, his head turning slightly to the now blank wall ahead of him before hurriedly looking away and opting for admiring her desk instead. Finally releasing the door it banged shut causing Jack to jump slightly, half turning to face her, half facing her desk.
Taking a deep breathe to calm herself, an action she hoped he would not see, Ebony made her way over to Jack though she kept a reasonable amount of distance between them, for both their benefits. She didn't want to scare him but she needed the space to try and get a hold on her emotions. Crossing her arms in what was just a pathetic attempt to try and protect herself from what could be the only expected outcome of his visit.
Jack turned to look her in the eyes and opened his mouth to begin whatever it was he had to say to her and she knew she had to get there first. Had to tell him the truth, now before he had a chance to reject her for being a cold blooded murderer. Maybe she could convince him and if not at least she tried, she couldn't let this go without a fight. She had to tell him everything, confess everything and maybe then she'd stand a chance. She had to get this right.
'Jack...' Ebony tried, the word itself stirring up her emotions and bringing them to the surface. She felt them building up inside her, everything she wanted to tell him; what really happened, her innocence in Spike's death, how she truly felt about him coupled with the pain of his betrayal and the fear of his rejection. All those thoughts froze within her, unable to break free and reveal themselves to him as the fear begun to eat at the little courage she had held onto for this confession. What if this ended the way it had before? What if she gave him her abused heart, and like Bray, her threw it away and crush it beneath his foot? What if...
No! She yelled within her mind, she couldn't give up. If she had any chance to be with Jack she had to trust him with what was most precious to her, she couldn't lock away her heart if she wanted to give it to Jack. She had to take the risk. She had to believe it wouldn't end the same way. He wasn't like the others, he was a true good guy.
'No Ebony.' He begins, interrupting her which surprising her momentarily as he straightens his back, now facing her fully and before she can even prepare herself for what will probably break her he continues taking a deep breath.
'I'm sorry for spying on you Ebony and betraying your trust in me. It was wrong to invade your privacy and I shouldn't have done it and I understand if you don't forgive me for what I did but I need you to know that I don't think you're lying. I don't believe you killed Spike, though after what he did to you I could understand why though I know that you didn't, despite what Bray believes and the body in the pool, which might put you off swimming in there for a while. But the point is I know it wasn't you and I want to help prove it to the other Mallrats.' He sucked in a deep breath after delivering his apology speech at a lightning speed. Jack just looked at her nervously once he'd finished, shuffling his feet slightly.
Ebony didn't know how to react, her mind was working too slow to comprehend Jack's words. This couldn't be happening right? He couldn't have just said that, she must have been hearing things. She couldn't be this lucky that he actually believed her, that he didn't think she was a murder, that maybe he was on her side. Jack was on her side. And strangely something that stuck out to her during Jack's declaration of belief was the fact that not once did he stutter or doubt his words.
'Err Ebony?' He asked, visibly anxious now as he awaited her reaction and she couldn't stop the slightest of smile trying to pull on her lips as she looked at, though nervous of her, Jack that she knew and not Jack who looked at her as if she was a monster.
Her words had failed her before and this time she believed actions would be better suited to convey to Jack how she really felt. He believed that she was innocent and maybe, just maybe he'd believe this too.
Stepping forwarding and eliminating the gap between them Ebony knew it was now or never. Reaching her right hand to the back of Jack's neck while her left hand took a handful of his top, she pulled him down without any resistance. Bringing their faces together, their breathes mingling at their closeness and she gave him the slightest moment to pull away as she drew on her courage. Tilting her head slightly in order to avoid bashing heads and closing her eyes, she pulled him the final length towards her until their lips met.
His lips were smooth against hers as she brushed her lips gently across them before capturing his soft bottom lip between her lips. For a second his didn't respond as she started to suck lightly but soon he relaxed into the kiss, mirroring her actions. Ebony brought their bodies closer, feeling the warmth of his body against her and Jack reacted with his fingers nervously brushing her hips, unsure of where to place them. Releasing her hold on his shirt, she ran her hand down his arm and guided his anxious hands to her hips.
Her lips curled up into a smile as she pulled slowly away from the kiss, only slightly, in order for them both to catch their breaths, which both of them it seemed were lacking. Opening her eyes, she saw Jack doing the same, his goofy grin she liked forming as he looked down at her but then that smile froze.
Realisation of what he has just done entersed his eyes and he quickly stumbled back breaking their contact and taking Ebony smile with him. He hesitated for a moment just staring at Ebony before she heard him utter, 'I can't.'
He's gone before she can try and stop him, rushing out of the room and leaving her standing there alone. When the door clicked shut she turns to it, wishing he'd come back and that he hadn't left in the first place. Squeezing her eyes shut she promised herself she wouldn't cry as she heard the heart she gave to him, hit the floor and shatter.
I'm sorry for the long delay in updates but my old laptop finally give up and died on me, requiring me to get a new one which unfortunately didn't have word or anything equivalent to my writing needs already installed which meant I had to go on the hunt for one. However feedback is always appreciated especially as I felt a little out of depth writing the bit near the end and any advice or constructive criticism is welcome. Thank you to those of you still reading, I hope to update soon.