Fathers' Day
Chapter 11 – Going Slow
Next morning, as Gibbs approached Abby's lab, he heard the familiar blare of music which for once didn't make him wince but instead, smile at further evidence of a return to normality.
He'd spent the remainder of the previous evening in his basement, working through his thoughts with the help of his almost finished boat... the copy of the photo Abby had given him staring up from the workbench. In between processing the events of the day, he'd been regularly drawn back to the image, and especially to Abby's face as she gazed at him while he talked to Jordan.
It had helped calm his thoughts and determine what to do next. There was no other way to interpret that expression but as one of love and longing.
If he added the photo to all the other things Abby had said yesterday, how she'd looked at him, had clung to him, as well as how their friendship had subtly changed over the years... if this had been evidence in a case, he'd have viewed it as a slam dunk by now.
So by morning, he'd made a decision. Whatever the outcome, he wasn't going to let this opportunity ride. Even if Abby didn't want him as he hoped she might, he had to know... one way or another.
And if she did want him, there was an equally good chance he could lose her if he left it too long. If he let her go on believing he wasn't interested, then there was only so long she'd wait for him. The commitment Abby so wanted in her life she could start to look for from someone else who wouldn't hesitate as he had done.
He'd be a jackass to wait any more.
So today, he strode into her lab filled with resolve.
Abby was on the phone in her office and she waved a greeting to him, a dazzling smile breaking out. He perched on the edge of her desk, content to watch the expressions chase across her lovely features as she talked.
He took in the strong line of her nose and jaw, the delicate curve of her cheekbones and flawless creamy skin. He'd always been captivated by that luscious mouth and a smile that could light up his whole day, but it was those cat-like emerald eyes that he loved the most. Her subtle perfume drifted over to him where he sat and he found himself staring at the spider web on her slender neck, wanting to run his tongue over every line and not for the first time, wondering how her warm skin would taste under his mouth and how long it could take him to find the rest of her tattoos.
If he was right and he didn't screw this up like everything else, he'd be looking at that beautiful face every day for the rest of his life.
Abby was blushing slightly under his intense scrutiny and when she'd finished her call, she sat back in her chair and eyed the drink he'd put on her desk.
"Hey, Gibbs. That for me?" She'd found it very hard to concentrate on what Balboa had been asking her to do just now. The way Gibbs was staring at her, his blue eyes felt almost like a physical caress ghosting over her face.
Gibbs grinned as she grabbed her morning fix and wrapped her lips round the straw... an action that had always played havoc with his blood pressure. "Don't see any other Caf!Pow addict round here."
"Huh, says the guy who oozes coffee out of his pores by now," she shot back, smiling. Abby spied the file under his arm. "What cool goodies you got for me, Gibbs?"
Gibbs explained what he needed from her on the cold case and when they'd finished discussing it, he didn't make a move to leave. Instead, he put out a hand to stop her moving away when she stood to go back into the main lab area.
"How d'ya sleep?" He thought she looked less tired than yesterday, but could still see a trace of dark smudges under her eyes.
"I slept really well... after you left, after I spent some time thinking."
What Abby didn't say was how long she'd spent turning the events of the day over in her mind, trying to decide how she was going to broach the subject today as she'd promised. Or how long she'd spent in the shower imagining her fingers were his as she replayed that almost kiss, still able to feel the warmth of his lips so close to her mouth. But once she'd managed to drop off, she'd slept the dreamless sleep of the exhausted.
"You gotta minute?" Gibbs asked, gesturing with his head towards the ballistics lab.
"Sure." Abby bit her lip as she followed him to the one area of her lab that wasn't covered by cameras or microphones.
Whatever he was up to this morning, she could read from his body language that Gibbs was obviously in one of his 'direct' moods, the hesitation occasionally visible yesterday either masked or gone. She felt a mixture of trepidation and anticipation at the thought that he might be about to resume their conversation from yesterday.
But even if he wasn't prepared to talk about it, she'd come to a decision of her own last night. She had to tell Gibbs how she felt and risk the consequences. If he didn't feel the same way, she'd find a way of moving on... somehow.
Losing her dad had only emphasized how the people she loved could be taken from her without her control, just like that... as Kate had been. She needed to hold onto the things that mattered and not let them slip by.
His deep voice broke into her thoughts as she closed the door behind them. Abby turned to see Gibbs leaning against the wall, looking relaxed... and so vital, so damn alpha male that she felt like purring at the sight.
"Did a lot of thinking too, Abby, last night. About yesterday, among other things. You?" He could skirt round this or he could tackle it head on, and he wasn't a skirt round it kinda guy.
"I had a lot to think about too, Gibbs, as I promised I would." She folded her arms around herself in a reflex action as she always did when she was anxious.
"You make any decisions? You said you'd finish that sentence, answer that question," he prompted gently when she didn't go on. He was calling on all his training to try and squash his nerves, rigidly holding onto his calm exterior.
"I did, didn't I?" She gazed at him, her stomach fluttering with anxiety but seeing nothing but warmth in his eyes.
"Wanna hear it, Abbs." He watched her start to pace, hands gesturing with half formed signs as she spoke.
"Okay then... well, I said I would think about it and I did." She threw him a quick glance. "I've been thinking about everything a lot lately, y'know, coz I don't wanna ruin anything, not that I think I could ruin our friendship coz we're tight, aren't we?"
"Abbs..."
She held a hand up to stop him, certain if she let him interrupt, she'd never find the courage to continue.
"Just let me get this out while I can, Gibbs, please." When he nodded, she gave him a brief smile and went on, resuming her pacing. "I gotta know one way or another about... things, and then I can move on if I have to and stop, y'know, hankering after something... after someone when I don't know if, er, that someone feels the same. But you gotta realize I'm putting myself out there saying this, Gibbs... making myself vulnerable here. But yeah, I want to... I really, really want to tell you. So let's go for an action replay... a take two on that question."
Preoccupied with her ramble, Abby jumped when her path was suddenly blocked by Gibbs moving in front of her. He gripped her shoulders, the heat from his hands searing through her thin shirt, and she gazed up at him, biting on her lip.
Oh.
It was an expression she'd only rarely seen on his face before.
Unguarded, open and warm, a smile lurked around his mouth and his blue eyes were crinkling at the corners and filled with such affection that she found it hard to tear her gaze away.
"Would it help if I changed the question?"
"It might," she admitted softly, nodding.
Even though by now Gibbs was pretty sure, it was still an effort to get the words out, to put himself on the line too.
"All those things you said you wanted, Abbs... d'ya think you'd want them with me?"
Abby was sure she felt her heart actually stop and then kick start again and didn't know how she stopped herself leaping at him, joy bubbling up inside her. She settled for laying a hand on his chest, whispering, "Yes... just with you, Gibbs. Only with you."
Gibbs couldn't stop the shit-eating grin that spread across his face and he saw her whole face light up in response, a wide smile breaking out as her eyes sparkled.
He brought his hand up to cover hers where it rested against his shirt, relief washing through him. "That's okay then."
And in the end, it was as simple as that.
They stood there gazing at one another, until Gibbs wrapped a hand round the back of her neck and whispered, "C'mere."
He pulled her close into a hug that was as intimate as any they'd shared. It was more of a full body wrap and he wound his arms round her firmly, feeling her own slide inside his jacket and her hands roam slowly up his back to fist into his shirt.
Suddenly, as her emotions rose up to almost overwhelm her, all Abby could do was hang on, feeling the strong muscles of his back flexing slightly under her hands as he rubbed gentle, soothing circles on her own back. She pressed her face into the warm skin of his neck, inhaling deeply as she burrowed into his arms, trying to get as close as possible.
The building could fall down around her and Abby didn't think she'd notice. She was right where she wanted to be, nestled in his strong arms... and didn't intend moving any time soon.
When she succumbed to temptation and let her lips softly brush his neck, the low moan he gave sent a shiver down her spine. His arms tightened further before one large hand came up to cradle the back of her head protectively. His nose was pressed into her hair, almost nuzzling into her as he whispered her name, and she heard his breathing hitch as she snuggled against him.
She'd caused that... turned Gibbs' breathing shallow and unsteady.
His head was spinning with her nearness and her scent, the warm curves molded to his body. He closed his eyes against the intense sensations of want and sheer need that swept through him, grabbing for his control as his body responded to her.
Gibbs felt something settle inside him... as if something long missing had slotted back into place.
After several minutes standing wrapped in each others' arms, oblivious to everything else, Gibbs pulled back gently, hands resting on her neck, his thumbs stroking gently along her jawline. Her eyes were shining with such an expression of love that he had to swallow hard round a sudden lump in his throat.
Abby raised an unsteady hand to his cheek and her knees nearly buckled when Gibbs turned his face to nuzzle into her hand and press a soft kiss to her palm.
"It's always been you," she told him with a voice that had become as shaky as her hand. "But I didn't dare hope you wanted me. "
"Been you too, Abbs. Wanted to tell ya... show ya yesterday but it didn't seem right, not with the day you'd had," he said, honestly. "And it was your dad's day."
As always, she was touched that he'd put her first. That was so him.
"I thought something felt different by the end of the day... and then that near miss kiss as you left. That got me so totally turned on, I could barely think straight," she laughingly told him, enjoying his smirk before she turned serious. "Then I spent the next few hours wondering if it was just wishful thinking, but I made up my mind that I had to know... one way or another."
"Me too," he admitted, and rested his forehead against hers. "Couldn't stop looking at that photo."
"Thought it might have given me away... but it was kinda easier than telling you." She'd replayed the sound of his voice over and over as he'd said her name almost reverently when she'd caught him looking at the photo. Abby pulled back and for a moment they shared soft smiles, as if acknowledging the same mirrored thought. "We're a pair, aren't we?"
He grinned. "Well, yeah, I hope we are... that's kinda the point."
She giggled before abruptly sobering, regret lacing her tone. "All this time hesitating... all this time wasted."
He pressed a finger to her lips. "Ssh, don't think like that, Abbs. Let's not start with regrets, huh?"
She searched his eyes before nodding, smiling at the tenderness in his eyes. "Okay. I can do that. Let's look forwards... think positive thoughts."
Unable to resist touching her again, Gibbs tugged her close and she went willingly into his arms. He pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek, the familiarity of the gesture making Abby smile.
But what he did next made her toes curl.
He continued placing slow, gentle kisses across her cheek until he reached her ear. Nuzzling into it, he whispered, "Wanna take this slow, Abbs."
She huffed a soft laugh as he drew back. "Isn't ten years slow enough?"
"Maybe," he acknowledged wryly, "but every relationship I've had that's gone wrong has started off too fast."
More than anything, Gibbs didn't want to make the same mistakes he'd made so many times before. He wanted this to last... wanted the same commitment Abby did. He didn't want his relationship with Abby to go the same way as his last three marriages or so many other failed relationships.
"You asking to woo me?" she asked softly, finding the thought as endearing as it was... frustrating.
"D'ya wanna be?" he asked, his familiar lop-sided half smile breaking out.
She fought to urge to kiss that smirk off his face, contenting herself with an eye roll. "Breaking news, Gibbs. You already did."
"Don't wanna mess up like I always do... wanna go slow coz you deserve that. That okay with you?" His voice sounded vulnerable and she bit back her teasing.
"I can go slow, if that's what you want, Gibbs," she reassured him, smiling. "And if it means we're together, then yeah, I'm more than okay with it."
Though at least part of his anatomy had disagreed with him, if what she'd felt pressed against her earlier was any indication. But she understand why he might have issues. In her mind, those ex-wives had a lot to answer for. And none of her past relationships had been taken at a slow pace, so maybe that's why so many had gone wrong?
A sudden worrying thought struck her. "As long as that's all it is? It's not that you doubt how I feel, is it?"
"God, no. No doubts." He reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together.
"You do know how much I want you, don't you? And you..." she trailed off, nervously.
"Oh yeah, I want you, Abbs." His low voice was so full of promise, it made her shiver. "Could take ya to bed right now and keep us there all week. It's not that..."
"Okay," she accepted, squeezing his fingers, trying to get her mind off the thought of spending a week in bed with him and suppressing the urge to drag him out of the door and straight home to her apartment. "And I think I understand why, Gibbs and I'm flattered and... yeah, maybe you're right. I'm hardly an expert on what works best when it comes to relationships, am I? So if that's the way you wanna go... I'm not gonna say no."
"Wanna do this right," he admitted, hoping she understood.
She tilted her head on one side, considering. "In fact, I don't think I've ever gone slow before. But I reserve the right to jump your bones if it gets too much for me..." She returned his smile, stepping close again. "You've been turning me on for years, Gibbs, and that's only gonna get worse... or better, depending on your point of view."
He brushed the back of his hand down her cheek. "Sleeping with someone is a lot easier than building something to last. I gotta lot of baggage, Abbs."
"And you think I don't know that already, Gibbs?" she protested, earnestly. "I want all of you... good and bad, strengths and weaknesses, and I want this to last too. I've got a ton of baggage too... an entire luggage set with matching accessories, and you know that better than anyone. So... let's see if we can't muddle through together, shall we?"
"Sounds good." Gibbs grinned, the smile extending to his eyes, making him look years younger.
"So in the spirit of going slow," she couldn't resist teasing him, just a bit. "you wanna grab some dinner later... unless you've other plans?"
He shook his head, biting back a grin. Trust Abby's independent nature to wrest some control back by being the one to ask him out. "Nope, no plans. Got anywhere in mind?"
"Um, there's this new place down at the National Harbour Marina I've been meaning to try," she suggested, brightly. "Carol says it's really cool – nice and casual but the food's good."
"Boats and dinner... how can a guy refuse?" He leaned in to cup her face and pressed a quick kiss to her nose, triggering a soft giggle. "It's a date. Pick ya up at 7.00?"
"Yup, I'll book a table." Abby couldn't prevent a wide smile from spreading across her face, feeling as if she could shout from the rooftops how happy she was at the thought of going out on a date with him. She turned to the door, opening it to shoo him out.
"Now scram, Very Special Agent Gibbs, coz I've got some stuff to finish for Balboa as well as your cold case, and I wanna finish early tonight so I can get ready coz rumour has it that I've got a really, really hot date."
TBC...