Author Note – thanks for all the encouraging reviews. This chapter was a bit easier for me to write, hence the quicker update, but I was uming and arhing over Kathy or Kathleen…I'm happy with my choice. Let me know if you are (or aren't).
Reconciliation – chapter eleven
'The fear about losing a loved one is the fear of change itself. Being used to one person, day after day, then to one day wake up all alone, a whole new day. Think of it as a chance to start over, to learn from the past and make a brand new beginning.' Unknown
He could still feel the ghostly touch of her lips on his. She had been quick and he had no time to react before she pulled away. He remembered being slack jawed from shock as Olivia stared back at him, her eyes giving nothing away. Elliot wanted to reach out and pull her to him. He wanted to find out what she tasted like. He wanted…
Kathleen's melodic laugh cut through his thoughts and he was bought back to the present. She mimicked his posture as they leant over the steel barriers at the side of the soccer tournament. Elliot felt the heat rising up his neck when he looked in her direction and saw her knowing smirk and the laughter in her eyes.
"What?" He asked.
She laughed again as she shook her head at his cluelessness. "How's it going with Olivia Dad?"
Elliot schooled his features, trying not to react as he wondered how she knew where his thoughts were. "Things are okay. Why'd you ask?"
Kathleen's eyes sparkled with amusement as she looked back at him. "Because you have your 'Olivia' face on," she said boldly.
Her honesty never ceased to amaze him, paling only in comparison to her confidence to say it. "My 'Olivia' face?" Elliot questioned.
"The one you get when you think about her, or talk about her," Kathleen explained as she shuffled sideways towards him and nudged his shoulder conspiratorially. She appraised him for a moment and her good natured teasing vanished, replaced by shy concern. "Things are good? I mean you haven't really talked about it."
Elliot could hear the apprehension in her voice, doubting whether or not she had made the right decision. After making the initial push for contact between himself and Olivia four months ago, Kathleen hadn't pushed him for details, letting them progress I their own time. "Things are good," he confirmed as he leant in a pressed a quick kiss on her hair line. "Because I have a certain daughter who likes to meddle."
When he withdrew Kathleen rolled her eyes at him. "Somebody had to," she defended. "Somebody had to make that first move."
"I was too scared to make it. Thank you for doing it."
"So I did the right thing?" She double checked.
He nodded, glancing over his shoulder when he heard the crowd start to cheer and saw a player from Eli's team running down the field and score a goal. Elliot smiled as he saw Eli jump in the air, his fist raised towards the sky as he celebrated his team mates' goal. Returning his attention back to Kathleen only to find her still watching him and replied, "You did the right thing."
"How are things going? Really?" Kathleen implored.
Elliot paused as the memory of the brief touch of Olivia's lips came back to him. His lips curved upwards of their own accord.
"That good, huh?" Kathleen's shoulder nudged him again when he didn't reply.
"I'm not talking about this with you," Elliot said self-consciously.
Kathleen faked indignation by holding a hand to her chest. "Oh come on Dad," she smiled. "I should be allowed to know the result of my well-meant meddling."
Elliot let out a throaty laugh at her dramatics. He was proud of the woman Kathleen had become. She was still the most out spoken of his children, but her brazen attitude had mellowed and she had grown up and matured into a wonderful woman. He knew that was partly down to Olivia's intervention, Kathleen never told him what had been done or said and neither had Olivia or his mother but it had worked. And Kathleen felt indebted to Olivia's intervention ever since. Elliot suspected her choice of career had been inspired by Olivia.
The worry Kathleen felt for his former partner and he during the time that Lewis held Olivia almost matched his own. Kathleen had been the only one of his children to reach out to him when he was beating himself up over the guilt he felt for not being there for Olivia. She was the only one brave enough to talk to him about it and sat holding his hand as he watched the investigation and man hunt progress on the news while Olivia was being held by Lewis.
"I need to see that Olivia's okay. Do you want to come with me?"
Elliot had been a coward and Kathleen had been stronger than he was. He was proud that all of his children were brave able to speak up for themselves. Sometimes he wished it wasn't directed at him, because it often serving to fuel his guilt for working long hours when the older ones were growing up. A mistake he was trying not to repeat with Eli.
Kathleen had put herself out there and encouraged him to reunite with Olivia, knowing they were both miserable with the lack of communication. She deserved him to be honest with her.
"We are adjusting to our relationship being different," he admitted quietly.
Kathleen sobered with his statement, contemplating it for a long moment before responding. "Things are never gonna be the same as they were before Dad," she said thoughtfully. "But that's a good thing, because you and Olivia can be more than you were before."
"You'd be okay with that?" Elliot questioned. All of the children supported the divorce, assuring both he and Kathy they wanted them to be happy even if it meant they were separated. But Elliot was aware of their suspicions about his relationship with Olivia, obviously over hearing Kathy's not so veiled comments that would often be thrown in the heat of an argument. Their approval wouldn't change the way he felt, but he would prefer to have it.
A soft smile graced Kathleen's face. "Of course I would. We'd all be okay with it, even Mom," she assured him. "I gotta admit that I thought something happened…before."
"I never cheated on your Mom," Elliot replied. There was no point getting angry at the accusation, he knew she hadn't been the only one of his children to think that about his relationship with Olivia. Kathleen was talking to him calmly and honestly, she deserved to be treated the same way.
"I know that Dad," she told him. This time when Kathleen leant against him she was offering support rather than teasing. "I figured that out when I realised you cared about Olivia too much to make her the other woman."
Her words stirred him. He was thankful she saw past his physical attraction and realised Olivia meant more to him. Resisting his feelings for her over the years hadn't just been about respecting his vows, Olivia deserved more than being treated that way.
"We're, uh, trying to figure some stuff out," Elliot said. He had no idea how to describe the current state of their relationship after how he and Olivia had parted that morning. The kiss was fresh in his mind, a promise Olivia had given him, a sign that she wasn't running from him. Her courage never ceased to amaze him. Thoughts about kissing her weren't new to him; he often quelled them before the fantasy went too far. But in his mind it usually lasted longer than a few seconds.
"Figure stuff out?" Kathleen questioned. "Come on Dad, I deserve more than vague cryptic explanations."
"We've known each other for a long time. There were rules we had to abide by. It takes time to adjust to them not being there anymore. Not to mention the fact that we haven't been in each other's lives for nearly four years," he averted his eyes guiltily.
Kathleen shook her head. "Everyone makes mistakes Dad. I'm pretty sure Olivia understands. She wouldn't still be talking to you after four months if she didn't."
Elliot shot her a sideways glance, and seeing her piercing gaze fixed on him he gave her a small nod. "We're trying to get to know one another again."
Kathleen's approval shone on her face. "Good. As more than you were before?" She questioned with a hopeful glint in her eye.
Elliot felt the flush return to his neck and he expelled a breath before nodding once quickly. "That's what we need to figure out."
"Wow," she said as her eyes widened with a mixture of excitement and shock.
"What? I thought you approved."
"I do," she rushed to reassure him, placing a hand lightly on his forearm. "It's just I never thought you would admit it. I thought that one day we would probably have a family dinner and Olivia would just be there."
"And that would have been okay?" Elliot asked doubtfully.
"Actually, yeah it would. Eli may be the only one you would need to say anything to. He doesn't remember Olivia like the rest of us do," she said as she glanced at the little boy in question. "I told you we all understand Dad and we want you to be happy. I know you could make each other happy if you just let her in."
At a loss for words, he leant and placed a feather light kiss on her brow. Kathleen tucked her arm around his, and leant her head on his shoulder as they turned their attention to the soccer game. Neither of them knew who was winning, but it was almost over. A few minutes later the referee blew the whistle and the players began to move off the pitch.
Eli was all smiles as he bounded over to Elliot and Kathleen. He stepped onto the bottom of the barrier to look over it. "We won Dad," he said excitedly as he held his arms up so Elliot could lift him over the barrier.
"I saw," he replied as he hooked his hands under Eli's arms and lifted him. Elliot glanced at the score board to see his team had won two to one. "Congratulations buddy."
Once Eli was set on the ground he looked up at his dad, squinting at the sun. "But I didn't score Dad," he replied.
"There's always next time Eli," Kathleen said as she hooked an arm around Eli's shoulders to pull him to her in a side hug. She glanced at Elliot meaningfully. "There's always gonna be another chance, isn't there Dad?"
Elliot nodded at her not so subtle implication before looking at Eli. "Of course there is, you just got to grab hold of it."
Eli scrunched his face in confusion. "But it's soccer Dad, I can't use my hands."