A/N: My new OTP makes its appearance.
Warnings: None except for strong language.
Dean: On my way to try and prevent the apocalypse. Wish me luck
Clint: You don't need luck. You have an angel on your side
Dean: Turns out there are even more on the other side
Clint: What?
Dean: I'll explain later
Clint: Okay. Good luck
Clint puts his phone away and peers over the edge of his roost. Down below, Selvig is still puttering around the Tesseract, and his guards are still standing at attention. This gig is boring, mostly silence except for the occasional whine from the blue cube and the occasional curse from Selvig.
He knows this is serious, that the Tesseract holds the power to defend the Earth against virtually any foe, and that's what keeps him awake and alert, but it doesn't keep him interested. He's playing babysitter to an obsessive scientist and a mystical blue cube of energy.
He'd made a joke about the Animorphs when he first got here, about blue cubes that come from aliens, but no one had even cracked a smile so he'd climbed up to a high perch and settled in for a boring assignment. He alternates between imagining that the cube is Andolite technology that has given Clint the ability to turn into a hawk and texting Dean.
Though Dean's apparently going to take on the Apocalypse so he won't be around to distract Clint from death by boredom. Some people get all the fun.
"I can't believe we're going with your plan," Sam says, for the eighth time as they pull the Impala up in front of a small two story house in the middle of suburbia.
"It worked for Captain America," Dean points out as he gets out of the car. "Knock on the front door and then kill everyone."
"You remember that in the end his ship goes down and he dies, right?"
Dean slams the car door shut and glares at Sam around the windshield. "Do you want to kill Lilith or what?"
Sam shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs. "Of course I want her dead. I'm just worried about you."
Dean rolls his eyes. Sam cannot possibly want to talk right now. They're about to storm Lilith's fortress, okay, her modestly sized house, and kill her. This isn't the time to talk.
"We can hug it out later," Bobby says taking Dean's side. "We're working with the element of surprise and stupid, and if we lose the element of surprise then we're screwed. Come on, time to go knock on the demon's door."
"Who is Captain America?" Cas asks.
"I'll introduce you to superheroes later," Dean says. Dean refuses to believe that Captain America's actually dead. They made a movie about him a year or two ago, and his ship went down, but if you stayed after the credits then there was this brief clip where you saw him resting peacefully in a coffin of ice looking like a Disney Princess, waiting for someone to come and wake him up.
Dean likes to believe that Steve Rogers was a hunter and that's why he was so fixated on tracking down the Tesseract, but Clint says that's just wishful thinking. Dean decides that once they're done stopping the apocalypse he and Cas are going to track down and find Captain America, wherever he might be buried, and they're going to add him to their rag tag group of hunters. Or maybe just drink some beers and talk about the strange shit they've all seen. The world has to take a break from evil after the apocalypse is averted, right?
Dean leads their merry group of four up the porch steps—really, she has a porch, and a rocking chair?—and rings the doorbell. He holds Ruby's knife behind his back, and he can sense Bobby shifting, getting ready to pull the Colt out, and Dean grins. Time to go kick some demon ass.
The door opens and a young boy with Bieber bangs sweeping dramatically across his forehead frowns at them. And then he recognizes who's standing on his front porch, and his mouth drops.
Dean lunges, driving Ruby's knife through his chest before he can react. The demon crackles out and the body drops to the floor at Dean's feet.
Dean steps over it and into the house. "Honey, I'm home!" he calls out.
Several things happen in rapid succession. Dean's thrown against the nearest wall, but he falls to the floor as soon as Cas touches his fingers to the attacking demon's head. Another demon thunders down the stairs only to be met with a bullet to the brain courtesy of the Colt. Two more demons rush them, but between the knife and the Colt they don't get too close.
And then Team Stop the Apocalypse is standing in the foyer with several bodies lying at their feet.
"I didn't expect you so soon," Lilith's lilting voice drifts through the hall, and her footsteps are soft as they round the corner.
She's in a new body from last time, a teenage girl with braces and thick rimmed glasses balanced precariously on her nose. She looks young, innocent, until you see her eyes. They're haunted with worries far deeper than next week's math quiz and this week's crush.
"We're a fan of surprise parties," Dean says, readjusting his grip on Ruby's knife.
Lilith laughs and tosses him against the far wall with a flick of her wrist. The knife clatters uselessly to the floor. "Haven't you learned your lesson? You can't kill me. None of your toys will affect me." A flick of her other wrist sends Bobby crashing into the family portraits that were hanging on the wall. The Colt drops at Cas's feet.
"Weapons are not toys," Cas says.
"Go on," Lilith says nodding at the gun. "Pick it up and try and shoot me. Or, better yet, try and exorcise me angel-boy. See how well you do."
Cas shrugs and leaves the Colt where it is. "I'm not the secret weapon."
"You certainly aren't. But really, didn't you learn your lesson last time you tried to ambush me? Nothing you have can kill me."
"We've learned a few things since then," Sam says, reaching a hand out.
Lilith rolls her eyes. "Please, Sam. You don't have the juice to take me out."
"Really?" Dean wheezes, clawing ineffectually at the invisible hand wrapped around his neck. He kicks his feet for good measure but it doesn't help. "And here I thought draining Ruby would be enough."
The first bit of fear flickers in Lilith's eyes. "You killed Ruby?"
Dean grins. "Had a little fun first. You demons scream real pretty when tortured, you know that?"
Lilith hisses and presses the invisible hand tighter into Dean's throat. He chokes, his fingers scrambling against his own neck, trying to release the pressure. Sam better hurry the hell up, because Dean would really like to make it out of this fight alive. He's looking forward to the after party.
"Stop," Sam commands and he starts pulling Lilith out of the girl's body. "Ruby told us everything," he says, his face screwing up in concentration as he pits his will against Lilith's. "We're not going to let you free Lucifer, and I'm sure as hell not going to invite him into my body. We're putting an end to all of this."
Sam drags her out bit by bit, but he's starting to get fatigued, and he's not sure he's going to be able to win this. No, he is. He has to do this. It's hell on Earth if he doesn't. He can feel his pulse pounding in his brain, he can feel something trickling out his nose, but he pushes his discomfort aside and concentrates.
Dean feels Lilith's grip loosening, but Sam's looking like this fight is going to kill him. As soon as Dean drops to the floor he makes a dive for the Colt, and he starts firing off bullets. Lilith's body jerks and convulses, and the demon doesn't burn out, but with one last grunt, Sam yanks her out, and the black smoke sizzles and burns in front of them.
"Shit," Dean says, collapsing on the floor. He can't believe they'd done it. They'd averted the apocalypse. Who needs freaking Captain America when you've got Dean Winchester?
Dean: Screw the Avengers and the Justice League and the X-Men and the Fantastic Four and all those prissy superhero clubs. Three humans and an angel just stopped the apocalypse
Clint: About the Avengers….It's more than just a comic book theory
Dean: What?
Clint: Come on, you follow the news, right? Iron Man's real. The Hulk's real. Captain America's been pulled out of the ice
Dean: WHAT?
Dean looks up from his phone. "Captain America is alive, and I stopped the apocalypse! Best day ever!" He pumps his fist at the ceiling.
Sam shakes his head and wipes the blood from his nose. "I think you hit your head a little too hard against the wall
Clint: Explain later, my boss is here. Congrats on saving the world
The after party had lasted for an entire day. Even Cas made a valiant effort to get wasted though, as usual, that failed.
Dean's recovering from the worst hangover of his life by casually sipping a beer and watching TV, wondering what the hell he's supposed to do now that they've averted the apocalypse. Everything's going to seem so boring now.
He's flipping channels when he sees something weird on the news, and he flips back. Oh yeah, the headlines definitely just said something about aliens. The cameras zoom in on this weird blue portal looking thing that's raised above the Stark Tower, and there are definitely things flying out of it.
"Uh guys," Dean says. "Guys, I think we're needed. There's an alien invasion."
"Would you go see a doctor about your head?" Sam asks.
"I'm serious," Dean says and there's an urgency in his voice that makes everyone leave what they're doing in the kitchen and rush over to him. Dean points needlessly at the TV where the cameras are now showing ugly looking alien dudes shooting at people with blue magic light weapons.
"Shit," Bobby says. He touches his hands to the back of his head. His stitches are barely holding He can't deal with aliens right now.
"I was looking forward to some time off," Sam says.
"I can bring us there are soon as you're ready," Cas says.
Dean finishes his beer. "Let's grab some weapons from the Impala and go." He stands up and his brain hits against the sides of his head. "And some Advil."
Tony's standing in a circle with the rest of the Avengers, and they're all facing out, looking at the swarms of Chi'tauri. Tony has no idea how they're going to win this, but he's determined that they will. There's six of them and who only knows how many of the Chi'tauri, but the Avengers are much better looking and that's half the battle.
"Orders, Cap?" Tony asks.
Steve opens his mouth to speak when there's a crackle of electricity, and everyone turns to Thor, but Thor is pointing to the sky. Ten feet above them, a man in a tan trench coat is slowly descending, each of his arms wrapped around a young man.
Trench coat's feet touch the ground, and he looks at the Avengers, his blue eyes full of seriousness. "Behold, I am Castiel, angel of the Lord."
"I do not have time for this shit," Tony says. "We kill them."
"Dean?" Clint asks once he gets over the fact that holy shit there are guys dropping out of the sky, and what is Dean doing here? And why is Dean wearing shotgun rounds like they're a fashion accessory, and why is he holding a shotgun, and why is he even here?
Dean stops gaping at the people they've dropped in on because holy shit that's the Avengers, and he grins at Clint. "Turned on the news and saw you had a problem." He loads and cocks his shotgun. "We specialize in handling problems."
"These are friends of yours?" Steve asks turning to Clint.
Clint matches Dean's grin. "We're still waiting for our orders, Cap. I don't think the Chi'tauri are going to give us much time to plan."
Steve snaps back to attention. Mission. Duty. People to protect. He starts issuing orders, and the Avengers begin following. He hesitates a moment as he looks at the newcomers before deciding, what the hell. He'll take allies where he can get them.
"Dean, I want you on ground duty clearing the area around Stark Tower. Kid with the Colt," Steve pauses and a completely inappropriate smile lights up his face, "hey, that gun's older than me." Steve shakes himself and refocuses. "I want you with Natasha. And Castiel, I have no idea what you're capable of so just kill things."
Castiel gives a solemn bow. "I will do as you have ordered."
"You brought civilians to help?" Tony demands through the comm. system as they take their positions. "Are you serious, Clint?"
Clint tell whether Tony's actually worried about them or pissed that there are people here to take away some of his glory. "I didn't invite them. They just have a knack for finding trouble."
"I can't babysit them," Tony says. "I have actual work to do."
"Holy shit," Natasha breathes. "By the bank, trench coat guy is about to bite it."
Everyone's attention turns to where Castiel is now standing on the nose of a space whale. He reaches out and touches the alien between its eyes, and it begins to dissolve beneath his feet. He teleports away before he goes plummeting to the ground.
"Holy something," Steve says reverence in his tone.
"I take it back," Tony says and even he sounds shaken. "Clint, you have awesome friends."
Clint grins and puts an arrow through a Chi'tauri.
It takes Dean less than five minutes to lose his gun so he does the rational thing. He jumps one of the ugly aliens and wraps his shotgun round belt around its neck and yanks until it drops to the ground.
He picks up the weird blue stick-gun thing. He points at another one of the aliens, and it fires, and the recoil almost sends Dean flying into a busted up car.
Dean grins and twirls the weapon in his hands. This fight just got fun.
At the end of the fight, the Avengers, the Winchesters, and Cas end up in the Avengers Tower looking down at Loki. Everyone is looking threatening except Cas who is dusting ash off his trench coat.
"I don't think he's going anywhere," Tony says after a long moment. Loki smiles brightly at him. Just to be safe, Thor puts his hammer on Loki's chest to weigh him down.
"Oh hey," Sam says, pointing to Thor. "We almost killed him."
Thor looks over at the puny humans and laughs. "You could've tried."
"They were going to burn down every tree in Scandinavia to do it," Clint says. "I'm glad we're all on the same side."
"Wait," Natasha says, getting a good look at Sam and Dean for the first time. "These are the Winchester brothers."
Dean gives Sam a 'we're famous' grin. Sam gives him a 'we're so screwed' frown.
"Should I know them?" Tony asks. "Why do you know them?"
"I thought they were dead," Natasha says, ignoring Tony. The question is directed at Clint, but he just sits down on the stairs, starting to feel how much of a beating his body had taken now that the adrenaline is wearing off.
Dean flashes her a smile. "We get that a lot. So you guys are the Avengers, huh? I have to say, I'm kind of disappointed."
Clint groans as he leans back. "You never know when to keep your mouth shut, do you?"
Dean grins and waggles his eyebrows. Clint picks up a piece of rubble and chucks it at him.
"Eww, would you two stop flirting?" Sam asks. "I'm right here! Cas will you take me home? Or them somewhere else?"
Sam turns to see Cas two inches from Captain America. Cas is almost an entire head shorter than him, but he reaches up to traces the wings on the Captain's mask.
"You have wings," Cas says before moving to trace the A on Steve's forehead. "Do you fight for the angels?"
Steve's eyes widen. "Do I—do I what?"
"Okay," Tony says reaching out to pull Cas out of Steve's personal space, because only he's allowed to make Steve look that terrified and uncomfortable. His fingers don't even touch the man in the trench coat—he's still hesitant to call him an angel—before Tony is flying toward the other end of the Tower.
Cas ignores the fact that he's just sent Iron Man flying and that all the Avengers have weapons trained on him. He simply presses his hand over Steve's wound.
"You are an honorable and virtuous man," Cas says, the skin healing beneath his touch. "I am," Cas pauses, tilts his head to the side, "I am proud to protect humanity when it produces people such as yourself."
Sam nudges Dean and whispers quietly, "Is Cas flirting?"
"I'm not sure whether I should be horrified or proud," Dean whispers back.
Steve doesn't know whether to smile or thank him or hug him or drop to his knees. He's never met an angel before, never thought he'd meet an angel until he died, and he doesn't know what to do so he just stares.
Cas stares back.
Tony clears his throat having made his way back to where the rest were. "So, uh, obviously you did some pretty impressive shit back there, but I'm still not believing you're an angel. Supposedly these guys," Tony jerks his thumb towards Thor and Loki, "are gods, but they're not. Just aliens. So, what realm are you from?"
Cas turns away from Steve to fix Tony with the most unnerving stare Tony has ever been on the receiving end of. "I am an angel of the Lord. I do not understand why humans have such a difficult time believing."
"What are you an angel of anyways?" Tony asks. "Tax accountants?"
Everyone but Cas cracks a smile. "Thursdays," Cas says completely serious.
"You do not mean Thorsday," Thor says standing up. He towers over Cas. "That is my day."
Cas meets Thor's stare unflinchingly. "I am the angel of Thursday. I do not lie."
Thor growls and lightning sparks from his fingertips. Cas reaches out and touches Thor's forehead. He collapses to the ground and immediately Natasha empties her gun into Cas's heart.
Cas looks down at the holes in his clothes. "I will have to replace these now."
"What he means to say," Sam says hurriedly before the Avengers try and kill an angel, "is that Thor's fine. He put him to sleep, because he doesn't understand how to interact with human beings."
"He's only been on Earth for six months," Dean explains. "He hasn't quite gotten down how not to be a giant dick."
"A man out of time," Tony says. "We've got ourselves one of those." He looks over at Steve whose eyes are flicking between Thor and Cas, a look of awe on his face. "Apparently ours is a fan of yours."
"He's a buzz kill," Dean says. "Can't get drunk, tries to analyze porn, and, believe it or not, is a righteous pain in the ass."
Tony looks back at Cas and Steve with something akin to fear. "Maybe we shouldn't let them hang out. They'll make each other worse." Tony sticks out a hand. "I'm Tony Stark."
"Dean Winchester." Dean shakes his hand. "Nice suit."
The lights in Tower flicker, and when they're bright again, there's someone standing over Loki looking murderous.
"Trickster?" Sam and Dean ask.
"Gabriel?" Castiel asks.
Gabriel turns around and sighs when he sees the Winchesters and Cas. "Of course you'd be here. Yes, hello to you, I'm not here for you, surprise world doesn't revolve around you."
"You're here for Loki?" Thor asks groggily. Apparently angel sleep doesn't last long against Norse gods.
"Loki," Gabriel's lips twist into a sneer. "I'm here for the one who claims to be Loki. I've spent centuries cultivating the perfect persona. I'm mischievous but not malevolent and that's a fine line to walk and then this guy," Gabriel jabs his finger at Loki's chest, "goes and blows all that hard work in a couple days."
"Claims?" Loki splutters speaking for the first time since his capture. He tries to wriggle out from beneath Thor's hammer. "I am Loki, you fool."
Gabriel's face freezes for a moment. "Truth?" He touches his hand to Loki's forehead, and when he pulls back his eyes are wide. "You are. I suppose I owe you an apology then. Seems that I have been impersonating you."
Loki glowers. "No one can impersonate me."
"Oh really?" Gabriel taps his fingers against his chin. "Let's see. I have an absent father who could care less about me, I have an older brother obsessed with his destiny, the golden child that everyone adores, and how am I doing so far? We sound similar?"
Loki glares as best he can, pinned by his enemies with his brother's hammer.
"Yes, yes," Gabriel says with a wave of his hand. "Be as angry as you want. Why don't I make it up to you? We can take a vacation, talk out our brother issues, maybe even our daddy issues if we get drunk enough. Terrorize a few towns, have some fun. Now that there's not going to be an apocalypse, my schedule's free."
"You can't kidnap our prisoner," Tony says.
Gabriel gives him a patronizing smile. "Actually I can, but I'm not a total dick so I'll give you a consolation prize."
He grins and disappears with Loki, leaving the hammer resting on the ground, and Agent Coulson standing where Gabriel had been.
"Holy shit you're alive," Clint says before throwing himself at Coulson.
The Avengers descend on the agent and Sam and Dean turn on Cas.
"The trickster is an angel?" Sam hisses.
Cas looks at them with his usual blank expression but this one seems to say 'you're both idiots'. "He is the archangel Gabriel."
"Talk about abuse of power," Dean mutters.
"It is a plea for attention," Cas says. "He is directly related to Michael, Raphael, and Lucifer. With those three as brothers, it is easy to be overlooked."
"I can't handle angel drama right now," Sam says. "We prevented the apocalypse and then saved the world from aliens. I think we deserve a break. A real break this time."
"Agreed," Dean says. "Cas, you ready to head to the hospital to check on Bobby? He's going to be pissed that he missed this."
"Hey," Tony shouts as the Winchesters pick their weapons up off the ground. "Where do you think you're going? We just saved the freaking world. We're partying tonight."