Chapter 11
It was snowing.
In the distance you could see a figure of a young woman. She ran hastily. Carelessly thrown a scarf over her milky white neck, flapped behind her in the wind. She tried to catch her breath, but the cold air hit her lungs.
I will be late. - she thought. She remembered clearly how Todd had promised her that he would come after her. Fitting were prolonged. The director doesn't not come. She was sure that something came up him. Anyway, if he could came - he would have to wait so long...
Sandy told her with a pleasure how she saw her movie character and what inspired her to design that kind of clothing for Therese. Rooney spent a really pleasant, although a busy day with the company of Sandy's team and make-up artists team too.
She tried with all of her might to focus on work. Despite this, her thoughts flowed into those incredible, elder woman. She remembered clearly that when the meeting was came to the end - Cate dropped her only a "See you later, sweetheart!" and ran out of the room.
"Sweetheart" - said in a lower voice, full of suppressed emotions. "Sweetheart" from which she felt shivers on her own back and from which it was hard to free thougts.
During the working, she missed Cate. She missed Her smile, long, piercing look of blue eyes. It scared her, frighten her. When she understood the meaning of her thoughts, she stopped, breathing loudly. Raggedly. The cold air did not help her at all. She felt how her stomach clench.
She did not want to call it. Define it. Somewhere, deep under her own skin, she felt that she should not. Hysterical gulp of cold air, pierced her lungs. She closed her eyes. All happens too fast. Cate is a mature woman. She has a husband. Her own problems. Three lovely, sons. Theater, film, and somewhere, in the middle - she appeared - Patricia Rooney Mara. This is a bloody nonsense for Cate to threw everything for someone like her. Oh, Rooney do not be selfish. It is not only a childish crush and you're aware of that. For sure, this crush it was not in this kiss. When your mouth looked for her soft, desirous lips. When you fondled her slender body. You did not think about anything else, then just about Cate. About Cate and desire. About Cate ... and making love. Love. What did you feel emotionally? Closeness, excitment, a slight of anxiety. I wanted to penetrate her soul and remove all sorrows. Cate is attractive and ...She's attracted to you. You wanted to comfort her. Love? It's not like you felt before. You felt ever. Even with Charlie.
This is a different kind of excitement. You understand her more. She is to you, somehow emotionally close. Certainly not like the men, where he has his own world and you're not always able to understand it. And here ... One look ... No, no, it's too fast. Far too quickly. But even you do not know her well.
Love? Love for the other woman? No it is not possible.
-No, no, no - she said loudly, and with a vengeance ran into a large hall.
She did not like large crowds of people. She looked around, feeling hit hot on her own cheeks. She was breathing quickly.
-Well, there she is. Our Therese - Rooney Mara. - Todd said into the microphone. The actress felt as all eyes turned toward her. She nodded her head, and going forward. She walked quickly to the director.
-Todd, I'm sorry, but with Sandy ... - she whispered in confusion.
-I know. She could call me back. We had problem with the sound system - so we're late definitely. For not long - we will start. - he said, touching her arm. She looked at all of the faces. She was looking for the one glance of blue, piercing eyes, but Cate was not there. She felt on her face a questioning glance of Todd.
The door slammed.
Accelerated clatter of heels.
The young actress suddenly felt a strong touch of hand on her own shoulder. She shuddered.
-Here I am. - she heard the low Australian accent, next to her. She felt like a woman's slender fingers, gripped tight firmly on her arm.
-I guess, I do not need to present, Cate. For anyone. - said Todd to the microphone.
Cate laughed and added.
-Well, Todd - you should not treat me like a Queen ... - she paused, adding after a moment -I mean still a Queen of England.
Loud laughter filled the room. Cate advantage the opportunity, leaned over and whispered directly into the Rooney's ear.
-I miss you.
Rooney felt a piercing gaze on her back.
Focus, Patricia. It's like, that not so long ago, the woman about whom you thought for the most of the day, tells you she misses you and squeezes your arm firmly. It's nothing. Focus on work. You have to show up your's best side. It's hard to catch a breath.
She played one of the first scenes with Jack Lacy - her movie boyfriend - Richard.
-You come for your girlfriend Therese on a bike. You call her intercom. Therese looks out the window and says:
- "I like your scribbles." - she replied loudly with a slight laugh in her voice.
-You look after the children's chalk drawings on the sidewalk. Then you look up and see her through the window. You should look at her in awe. She had just got out of bed, not wearing any makeup on. The enchantment has to be felt in your voice.
-I've got it, Todd. - said a young boy and smiled.
-So are you ready?. - Todd added. -Action!
Rooney waited a while. She saw how Jack played that he came on the bike. He rang into the door entry phone with a smile and leaned against standing next to the table. In response, the girl opened the window.
- "I like your scribbles" - she shouted back with a laugh in her voice.
- "Yeah - I've been busy! - he said and grinned to her -I do not know how you do it? You look a million bucks, first thing in the morning. "- he said with awe in his voice, improving an imaginary hat.
- "I will be a minute." - she replied, pretending that closes the window. She saw a Todd's smile. It was everything on what she needs to focus on.
The next scene. A pair rode a bicycle through Central Park.
- "So I got the schedules. In the mail. You listening to me? "- asked Jack
- "I'm listening! You got the schedules. "- said Rooney, trying to empathize with how she is sleepy from the morning and has since the beginning of the day to work at full capacity.
- "And there are two sailings to France in June, one in July." - continued the man.
- "Wow." - she managed to squeeze out of herself, when her eyes met with the blue eyes of an elder woman. Her heart beat faster. She closed her eyes. Almost she did not hear the question asked by Jack.
- "So Whaddya think?"
Rooney sighed loudly. For her, this pause, lasted like an eternity. "I can not think straight." After that night, I'm sure of it...
- "I think ... I think it's so cold I can not think straight.". - she shouted back, unable to look into the eyes of men.
-Woah, Rooney. That was so awesome! Jack you're great too! We'll go to the next scene.
It was very late.
Rooney was in the shower. Hot water ran down on her milky skin.
"I miss you." She felt hot Cate's lips touching her ear, when she whispered these words in a low, trembling voice. Cate presented in a phenomenal way. She was dressed in cloth trousers and a black shirt. She pretended, as if nothing had happened, but the young woman could read from her blue eyes. She was sure that tsomething happened. She sighed loudly, reaching for the shampoo.
Something certainly must have happened.
They were played today a lunch scene. Cate's phenomenal husky voice with a touch of the 50's accent, sounded in the hall.
"Would you like to come out this Sunday?"
It could be so hard to say anything other, than agree to her proposal. She smiled widely, looking into blue eyes of the woman sitting in front of her.
"Flung out of space." - Emotions in her voice, the gleam in her eye. Rooney absorbed every detail. Every shaking of the lips. Every smile, and sparkle in her eyes. She just lost herself into Cate Blanchett completely.
"Flung out of space." - This night with Cate ... She closed her eyes, feeling the uncontrollable tremor running along the spine.
She stepped out of the shower, tying her wet hair with a small towel. She wiped her body and put a soft, dark green bathrobe. She remembered, how Charlie gave her that bathrobe on their first anniversary.
-This day was intense. - she thought. She liked it, but in her hotel room after a productive work, she felt the best. It was just she and her own thoughts. Thoughts and ... Or rather thoughts about this woman. She looked at the schedule. Tomorrow morning have lessons with the piano, then voice emission, and then Sandy and makeup team, break for lunch and scenes with Jack. You will not be able to see with Cate. I think it could be possible just in the evening ...
Suddenly a soft knock at the door, interrupted the silence . The girl froze and looked at the small clock. It was 1:30 pm.
The girl quickly slid the towel from her wet hair.
-Yes? - she asked.
-It's me. Cate. - she heard. Rooney jumped to the door and she opened them.
She noticed the blonde in a dressing gown, without any makeup.
-Sorry,I know it's late, but ...
Rooney interrupted her.
-Don't be. I was not going to bed yet. I just took a shower. - She added, but rolled her eyes. It sounded very silly, after all - this is obvious. Wet drops from her hair, dripped on her neck.
Cate just smiled and slipped her slender fingers between the wet strands of dark hair.
-You can not lay down with a wet hair. - said with a soft voice. Her blue eyes sparkled with some care.
Rooney shook, feeling Cate's fingers.
-Come in. - she choked and stepped back, letting a late night visitor into the room.
Cate sat down at a small table, opposite the bed.
-Would you like to drink something? - the younger actress asked, watching her closely. -I have wine or water? All in all, nothing special. - she said, blushing.
-Wine will be perfect. - the blonde replied.
Rooney brought two glasses and the bottle of wine. After a while, she's pouring alcohol into a glasses.
Silence.
Followers eyes of elder woman, stopped at dark hair head.
-Maybe, can I help you? - Cate said, smiling slightly. Only by the corners of the lips. Rooney blushed even more.
-If you want to. - she replied quietly. -You wanted to talk about something? - Rooney added after a moment, feeling how Cate's slender fingers brushed away a wet, dark hair from her tiny neck.
-I talked with my mother today. - she said quietly, with lower voice. After a moment, Rooney felt like Cate moves the brush through her hair. She was very delicate. -My boys already slept. However, bothered me, that my husband doesn't talk to me. He also don't talk with boys. It's a strange thing. - she paused, continue combing the dark hair. -You have a really nice, healthy hair. - Cate added quietly.
Rooney's heart beat faster. If only she could turned, she could find herself face to face with a woman, which she thought all day.
Cate moved her hands over her already parted hair. She smiled to herself.
-Finished. Help you to dry them? - the blonde asked right into her ear. Rooney turned immediately. Their faces were divided b millimeters. She felt hot breath on her lips. Do not do anything stupid, Patricia. - she thought. She felt like hear little heart could be able to jumped out of her own chest. Cate moved her fingers down Rooney's cheek. -Unless you prefer to dry them without hair-dryer? - she asked even lower. Rooney noticed that Cate's voice trembling.
-You don't come here, just to tell me, that you talked with your mother, am I right? - Rooney asked, looking into the blue eyes of elder woman. However, she can't wait too long. She pulled Cate tightly to her own body. They landed on the bed. Cate was at the top of her. In response, she laughed softly.
-I don't plan this. I really don't plan this. - she said with a laugh, feeling on her cheek Rooney's fingers. They shared by milimentry. -You do not know, how I missed you today. Well... I looked at my schedule too, and we don't have any of exercises together.- Cate added in lower voice. She kissed her on the cheek.
Rooney sighed loudly.
-I missed you too. - she replied, looking straight into his blue eyes.
This tension.
Silence.
In the room, you could hear only the rapid breathing.
Cate moved gently and laid next to her. She sighed loudly and after a while she continued.
-I talked with Todd too. For a very long time. I had a panic attack today. Everything suddenly overwhelmed me ... - Cate pointed questioning glint of green eyes. -Andrew will be a new producer of the movie. I found out this today. I was very scared. I could not calm down ... I had to talk with Todd. You know very well Rooney, how he is. He loves women, understand them in some inexplicable way. He can also advice very well in some point..
-If he...? - younger woman asked, looking at the face of a woman. lying next to her.
-He knew. I had to tell him. He is a director ... I also know that he is very discreet.
Cate noticed, how dark girl closes her eyes and breathes deeply.
-It's better for us and for the film too. - she replied quietly. She was completely disoriented. She did not know if she should ask Cate directly. She bit her lower lip and raised on the bed. -Did you forget about wine? - she asked with a laugh, handing her a glass.
Cate sat down and drank. Their eyes met.
-I adored you today, when you played together with Jack. I could feel your emotions, immediately. You were nervy too, Patricia. - she added playfully and gently squeezed her shoulder. -But I think that probably only I could noticed it. - she winked at her significantly and took another sip.
-Thank you! - Rooney said, blushing even more. -Cate, I ... I do not know if ... - she paused and fixed her eyes on the floor. She drank the whole glass at once, feeling how Cate's hands moved from her arm to the back of neck. -I do not know, if I can ask you ...
-Ask Me things ... Please. - blonde answered her in a husky voice. In a strange way she liked abashment girls. Patricia was incredibly sweet and charming. On the other hand, also she felt that without resistance could tell her everything. -Do not be afraid. - Cate said, pulling closer to her. She felt how under her hand thin shoulders trembling.
-Do You and Andrew ...
Cate sighed and looked straight into her green eyes.
-I need to talk with him, seriously. Not over the phone, but when we'll be meet. What worries me the most it the one thing - he don't talk with my lovely boys. But everything in it's time, Patricia. Do not worry about it - so much. One thing I know - I do not want him back. I can't be with him anymore. Does that answer is enough for you? - Cate said coquettishly, brushing a strand of wet hair. from the girl's face.
She saw, how younger actress smiled.
-I think so. - she replied. She noticed how Cate gets up and pours the wine for themselves. Her heart was beating wildly. She had finally squeeze it out. -Cate, maybe it's stupid, and I'm too childish for you, but ... This is not a childish crush.
She paused, blushing. Cate leaned against the wall and raised her eyebrow. The corners of her mouth twitched. Could she felt something similar? - She thought.
-I ... I ... You're very close to me and I can not determine what I feel for you. This is a completely different feeling. Emotionally you are, the closest person for me. I understand you very well. This is a completely different feeling than what I felt for Charlie or other men. Here is no comparison. I'm a little confused too. I want you to be happy. - Rooney managed in one breath and quickly drank the contents of her glass. Cate noticed how Patricia's hands are shaking. Her heart was beating wildly.
-Oh, Patricia. - Cate whispered with trembling voice, approaching fast to a younger woman. She pulled her up and hugged tightly. -Let me hug you. - her fingers slid into the dark, wet hair. She could smell her. -Oh, my Dearest. You're so special and rare for me. I feel for you something similar. - blonde said, nuzzling at her. She could feel trembling arms of the younger actresses. She heard a quiet sob.
-Please my Dearest, let me stay for the night. - Cate said softly, lifting the girl's face and kissed her gently on the forehead.
She did not mean anything sexual. She felt how the thin ice cracked. She is falling down, like in the rollercoaster. She just can't stop.
Emotional fulfillment.
She wanted to just snuggle in these small arms and feel inside of her soul - that she is alive again.
She was reborn again.