•~MARIE~•

Walking around the perimeter of the motel did little to clear my head. As I strolled around, I rubbed my eyes under my glasses. Thankfully, they were not broken during my quality time with the dumpster.

It wasn't until I arrived at the murky motel pool and sat on one of the plastic chairs that perched by the water's edge did I finally let my scattered thoughts converge in my mind.

Maybe I was a little hard on Sam and Dean, but how could I not be? Adam was my brother after all, and I still cared about him deeply. To know that he was a demon now...it broke my heart.

However; what Adam said about Sam and Dean still played through my mind over and over:

"I wouldn't trust these two. They seem to be focused on only saving each other; even at the expense of other family."

But that wasn't completely true was it? Sam said he sacrificed himself to save the world, and from what I could tell, Dean went along with his plan. The way they explained it, Adam was merely caught in the crossfire. He was basically forced to say yes
to Michael and when Michael took possession of his body, Adam had no control when he decided to try and pull Sam back from the edge of the pit, causing both of them to tumble in.

Maybe the reason I was so angry with Sam and Dean was because apart of me didn't want to blame myself for what happened to Adam. When I left him all alone almost three years ago, it never even occurred to me that it would have any major repercussions
in his life that could be harmful. But as fate would have it, soon after I left the ghouls came knocking. What Adam said was right: if I had been there during the attack, it was possible his death might have never even happened. Now don't get me wrong,
I'm not stupid enough to think I could have stopped what the angels had planned for him, but I could have prevented him from experiencing at least one horrible death.

With these thoughts eating away at me, I lingered around for another hour before returning to the motel room. When I opened the door I was met with darkness. The boys must have been asleep. It wasn't until I completely stepped into the room did I notice
a faint light coming from Sam's bed. I could just make out his silhouette that was illuminated by his computer that rested on his lap.

"You still awake?" I asked incredulously once my vision adjusted to the dark. It was after two AM. I glanced over at Dean who was sound asleep in the recliner, snoring softly. I peered at the bedside table beside him and didn't miss the outlines of beer
cans strewn about on its surface. I shifted my eyes away just when Sam glanced up from his computer with tired eyes.

"Yeah, I uh...I couldn't sleep. Thought I'd research a little bit."

"Oh, what are you researching?" I questioned as I sat on the unoccupied bed, facing Sam. I was hoping to avoid the topic of Demon Adam for the time being, not wanting to bring it up again at the moment. Turns out this was the wrong question to ask.

"I'm trying to figure out what kind of demon has blue-grey eyes. So far I've found nothing."

Sam regarded me wearily when he said this and when he saw my expression he gave me a sympathetic look. He set his computer aside and sat up on the bed with his elbows on his knees so that he was facing me. I studied my hands, not meeting his gaze. I had
a feeling of what he would say next.

"I'm sorry about Adam. I know I've already said it, but I want you to know that Dean and I feel the guilt for what happened to him. You're not alone in this. We'll help you get him back...somehow."

I looked at him and responded truthfully, "Thank you, but it's hard to feel grateful when my brother is walking around as some kind of otherworldly demon that we know nothing about."

Sam looked like he was about to say something else, but thought better of it.

Sensing that our short conversation was over, I got ready for bed. The gleam from Sam's laptop caught my eye again and when I glanced over at him he was once again stretched out on the bed, his computer laying on his lap.

"Why don't you try and sleep again? Who knows what tomorrow will bring," I suggested.

"Yeah, I will...as soon as I uh, finish reading this web page," he murmured, gesturing toward the screen.

I could tell he was avoiding something, but I was too tired to bring up another conversation.

"Alright then. Good night, Sam."

"Good night, Marie."

I laid in bed trying to calm my mind. It was difficult, considering the events of the day. It was a good hour before I actually fell asleep to the sound of Dean's snoring and the rattle of the motel air conditioner. The glow from Sam's laptop never once
faded out.

I wasn't asleep for long when an awfully vivid dream played out in my head of the night I ran out on my family nearly three years ago:

I threw a couch pillow across the living room in anger. It hit a lamp and they both crashed to the ground. The lamp shade rolled across the floor.

"Marie!" Shouted my mother. She picked up the pillow and flung it back onto the couch. The lamp was all but forgotten. "You need to calm down! Why can't we just have a normal conversation without you getting all worked up?"

"Why can't you just let me do what I want?" I retorted. My mother closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She hated it when I answered her questions with my own.

"Because, what you want is dangerous and you could get yourself killed."

"You don't know that! I could be as good a hunter as Dad."

My mother glanced around the house as if she were wary of who was listening in on our argument, but I had already made sure Adam wasn't at the house before I mentioned anything of what Dad did for a living. My mother looked back at me with an even gaze.

"Even John got hurt, Marie. Every hunter gets hurt. There are no exceptions."

"So? Just because there's a possibility of me getting hurt doesn't mean I shouldn't do what I think is right."

I was so far up on my high horse that her next words hit me like a ton of bricks.

"You don't know what's right! The only way hunters come to be is if something supernatural comes and destroys their life. Wrecks it so much that they become hell-bent on revenge for the rest of their lives!"

I stared at her with an astonished expression,"How do you know?"

My mother's eyes softened a little bit. It occurred to me that she might be recalling something from her past with John.

"Your father told me as much," she paused for a moment and then continued, "If what you want to do is save people, go to school and become a doctor like Adam is...or even become a cop, I don't care. Just please, don't go out and do anything you'll regret. Hunting is not a game, Marie."

"Don't you think I know that? I'm not some stupid child that needs someone to look out for me my whole life."

"I know that, Marie. You've always been very independent."

"Then why? Why are you so against me following in Dad's footsteps? And I want the truth this time, not the same crap I've heard every time I bring it up."

My mother looked me dead in the eyes and said the words that deep down I knew she always thought were true.

"You're not strong enough, and you never will be."

I stared at her with my mouth agape.

Was she serious?

"What do you mean I'm not strong enough? I was on almost every sports team my high school had to offer! I was at the top of my class in just about every subject! I think I'm plenty strong enough."

"Not physically or mentally strong enough, I'm talking about emotionally-"

I put my hands on my hips, my anger had finally reached its boiling point, "What the hell does that mean?"

My mother regarded me with the most earnest expression that I have ever seen her give, "John's told me plenty of stories about his time hunting... Marie, what these hunters go through and experience on a day to day basis is something I would never want for my children."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I spit out my next words before I could stop myself, "Well, if it was something you never wanted for your children, maybe you shouldn't have gotten knocked up by a hunter in the first place!"

I immediately regretted what I just said. Whenever I lost my temper, I could barely control what came out of my mouth. I should have known better than to bring up this particular topic of conversation. It was always a touchy subject for her, one we usually avoided at all costs, no matter how heated our arguments became. It just goes to show that this argument was one that we both wouldn't be able to walk away from.

My mother stared at me with a hurt look on her face. The pain that resided on her face soon morphed into a different emotion: Anger. It was an expression I was used to seeing upon my mother's face when arguing with her, but not to such an extent that I was actually scared of what was about to come out of her mouth next. Turns out it was the words that seemed to decide all of our fates.

"You know what? Fine, If that's how you want to throw away your life, go ahead. But I'm just letting you know: If you step out that door, don't you ever come back."

I glared at her in disbelief, "How could you say that?"

"Because I don't want Adam dragged into this mess you plan to make for yourself."

I laughed, "Oh yeah, I forgot that Adam was your favorite."

I knew I was being childish, but at this point I didn't care. Plus, on some level, I knew what I said was right. Before my mother could come up with a response, I said with my voice dripping with contempt, "I'll just pack my bags and get out of your hair then."

I turned my back on my mother and ran up the stairs to my room.

My mother and I never saw eye to eye. When she wanted to go left, I wanted to go right, it was as simple as that. But something about this argument was different. It was as if all of our frustrations toward each other had finally come to a head.

Once I stuffed the majority of my clothes inside my duffle bag, I made my way back down stairs.

"Marie hold on a second-" My mother started, obviously regretting her spoken words just as much as I did. But I was too angry to think rationally about anything my mother had to say as I made my way towards the front door.

"No mom, I'm leaving just like you want me to."

"And where do you plan to go?"

"I'll find Dad..." I trailed off, already knowing what my mother's response would be.

"He'd never take you in. There was a reason why he kept what he did a secret. He doesn't want anyone he cares about to be swept into the life."

I stopped in my tracks and spun around to face my mother, unable to resist the urge to come up with some kind of retort. I had never been one to walk away from an argument.

"Well then I'll just find somewhere else to go," I put one hand on my hip and rested my index finger on my chin while closing my eyes, as if I were in deep thought, "I hear Florida's nice this time of year."

"Marie, be serious," my mother reprimanded. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them, she had a knowing look on her face, "I didn't want to bring this topic up but...has it ever occurred to you that your father might not be alive?"

I dropped my hand from my face and looked at my mother apprehensively.

"What do you mean?"

"He hasn't visited or called in years. There has been absolutely no sign of him. I think maybe something finally got him."

"No, that's not possible."

"I don't want to believe it either but I think that it's very possible. See what I mean? No hunter is invincible, not even one like John."

"Dad isn't dead. I won't believe it until I see some proof. I'm sorry Mom, but my mind has already been made up. I'm leaving."

I stomped my way to the front door and stuck out my hand in an attempt to grab the knob and throw it open. Before I could get my hand on the handle, the door flew inwards and Adam stood in the doorway. We stared at each other for a long moment and then he glanced down at the bag I held in my hand. A confused look flashed in his blue eyes.

"What's going on?" He asked.

I backed out of the doorway in order to let him through but once he was out of the way I took ahold of the door handle; my intent was to leave without another word.

"Marie?"

Hearing his voice stopped me from taking another foot out the door. I turned around and looked him in the eye, not even giving my mother a glance.

"I'm leaving Adam. I'm sorry, but I just can't live in this house any longer."

"Why?" The confusion on my brother's face only deepened. He was never around for most of the fights my mother and I had. Mostly because they involved what our father did for a living and how I wanted to do the same.

"Because...I just can't okay. It's not because of you."

I started walking out the door to my truck, Adam following right behind me.

"Then what's the reason?"

"I-I can't tell you."

"Well then that's a load of bull!" He yelled, his temper flaring. I climbed in my truck and shut the door. The window was rolled down so I looked at my brother and continued our conversation.

"Look, I'm sorry Adam. But I need to leave. You've already found your place in the world, now it's time I found mine. I know you'll become a great doctor, but that's not me."

"You don't have to be a doctor! You can become anything you want!"

"I know that. That's why I'm leaving. Goodbye Adam, feel free to call me anytime. I'll do the same. I'll miss you bro."

Adam stepped away from the window with a look of betrayal on his face. I rolled up my window with the manual crank that rested on the inside bottom of the car door. I started my truck and it sputtered and roared to life. As I backed out of the drive way, I looked again at my house. My mother and brother were nowhere to be seen. I forced myself to keep my eyes on the road and off my house that was fading away in the distance.

I would always remember the feeling that crept through my body when my home was no longer in sight. It was one of horrible foreboding and terrible things to come. And I, of course, was too stupid to turn my ass around and drive the other way.

A/N: So another flashback, yay! I thought it would be fun to draw some similarities between the night Sam ran away to college and the night Marie ran away to become a hunter, but still with some major differences of course. I hope you enjoyed!