Chapter Eleven:
It was a spur of the moment that possessed me to ask Hyousuke to drive me, but then the courage to help Rei was what made me get into the car. Ella had accepted my lie of stomach discomfort, but I was only ailing of not telling the truth. Of course, if I had told her, then Rei would have been discovered. And so an explanation was due after I returned.
"We're here, M'lady," Hyousuke said, parking the car.
The parking lot was several yards away from the school entrance. Hyousuke led the way up to the main building. In there, we stopped at the administration desk. As I searched for Rei's name on the sign-in sheet, the clerk took our names from Hyousuke. To my apprehension, he decided to use the Ryuko name. I wished to remain a secret, but I pacified myself by believing it was one less lie to give in one day.
After obtaining the directions to the natatorium where the swim team was currently practicing, Hyousuke took the lead for the natatorium. We walked along the campus sidewalk with our visitor passes visible, and curious eyes on our every movement. It wasn't in reality that you could still see a butler in a tailored suit, as I'm sure the whispers of the bystanders consisted of. It was no concern of mine, however, as my mind was enraptured by the environment before me. It was like I were back to the first day of school when Hyousuke accompanied me to class; when I gained the attention of those around me. If I had gone to school at Samezuka Academy, as Grandmother initially suggested for me to do, I wondered how different I would have gotten along. What kind of club would I have joined? What kind of people would I have befriended?
"Hyousuke-san, are we-?"
I looked back at him but froze. He seemed to have vanished while I was lost in thought. The watching bystanders made themselves scarce as I searched for Hyousuke down unknown sidewalks, all the way to the natatorium.
It was there that a group of girls' voices came from the back entrance. To my amazement, I also found Rei and Rin off to the side.
I hid behind the shrubbery to listen further when a familiar voice caught my attention.
"How I wonder why my lady makes company with such uncouth peers."
Hyousuke, shrouded in the tree line, was talking to the girl with sakura waves of hair. She snapped at him as he constrained her against a tree. In a panic, I drew closer, saying, "What is the meaning of this?"
"M'lady, here is the person you have been looking for," Hyousuke said, stepping away from Nanami Mio.
She looked at me with a bewildered irritation, and I did not blame her. I quickly bowed and apologized as much as I could for Hyousuke's behavior, hoping that it didn't ruin my chances of gaining her favor.
"Are you here with that other guy?" she asked, rattled, using her thumb to point to Rei.
"Yes," I answered with the hope that the truth would help. "I knew Rei-kun wasn't sick and...followed him to make sure that he is alright."
"So you're with Iwatobi...on Kasumi's team?"
Her voice indicated some hesitation, more obviously so when she used Kasumi's name. I suspected that she believed I was there on my friend's behalf, and not of my own volition.
"Yes...I wanted to talk with you, as well, ironically."
She then studied me with her scrutinizing, dark brown eyes. Her lips curled in an unsatisfied frown. Because she did not dismiss herself from the conversation, it was clear to me that she was expecting to hear something of her earlier rival, or even my frustrations toward her. But my being there was not at all planned. There were heated words I wished to speak earlier, but when the clouds of anger dispersed from me, I was left with no concern of Nanami Mio than the one Kasumi held. My intentions were solely to watch over Rei, who continued to talk with Rin.
However, the chance to talk with Nanami Mio in person was tempting.
"No offense, but you're better off going back to your school campus without saying anything. I'm not in the mood to hear about Kas...Misuzu's issues with me."
So she does believe that I'll be calling for justice on Kasumi's behalf. She's too hasty to save herself before I get to say anything, I thought.
As she stepped away, I said, "I'm not here to start an argument, even though it was upsetting that your last encounter with Kasumi-chan left her devastated."
My words sparked something in her. She looked at me and said, " 'Devastated'? She's the one who gave up so quickly after the freestyle race!"
Kasumi giving up? I thought. That couldn't be true.
That day, after her race with Nanami, she did stay out of sight, but it wasn't until Nanase and his rival...Oh.
"I can't say for sure, but I have a feeling it was because of her hearing about yours and my teammate's last race," I explained.
"You mean Rin and his friend Haruka?"
At the mention of their names, the boys' voices raised.
Rei straightened his glasses and said to Rin," I was originally on the track team, but I ended up joining the swim club. Watching Haru swim inspired me. I wanted to swim like him. The practice was challenging at first, but it started to grown on me. Before I realized it, I was having a blast just swimming with them. At district, I swam a medley as part of a team. That was the first time I tried to truly understand the appeal. It stopped being about theories and numbers and became something I enjoyed. It's not a feeling I'll soon forget. We were united as one, we were a real team, but all they could talk about was how great you were. 'Rin'-this-'Rin'-that-constantly!"
"Sounds like your problem!" Rin said.
"Like hell, it's my problem!"
Rei dashed for Rin. In one fell swoop, he grabbed Rin's collar and forced him against the wall. As I gaped at the scene, Hyousuke moved to intervene. But I stopped him right away.
I'd never seen Rei so visibly upset, so hurt that I felt ashamed to see him that way. Even so, Rei was not a violent person. What he needed to say was crucial for both Rin and his sake. Should Rei have bottled his thoughts and feelings any longer, I would much think that it would affect his bond with his teammates, his friends. As a fellow swimmer, it is essential to know your team and that they would stand by your side. And perhaps Rin needed to know that as well, seeing as how he had not the wisdom to see the space he resided in the Iwatobi teams' hearts.
Above it all, Rei's exclusion was a double-edged sword. He and Rin stood at each side, pining to be seen by their friends, yet could not recognize the importance both of them bared for the Iwatobi team.
"Get over yourself and take responsibility for once!" Rei said. "Haru stopped competing because of you!"
After Rei stopped, Rin charged him. Rei was the one to be snatched that time. Rin cursed him, demanding to know what Rei was gaining out of confronting Rin, of telling Rin the truth.
"I want my friends and I to become the best damn team we can be. And I wanna do my part of that team, no more, no less. That's it," Rei said.
Rei and Rin broke apart without anything more to say. But as Rei picked up his backpack, he told Rin, "This means the world to me, Rin. Don't get in the way. If you do, I will never forgive you."
I gaped at Rei's fading outline. It was heartening to see that Rei released the pent-up frustrations, but he threatened something that could immensely recoil on him. The Samezuka and Iwatobi teams could begin an out-of-hand rivalry, or even worse...Rei might leave the club.
Mio looked to me as Rin stomped through the natatorium back door. "What's your name?"
"Michiko Ryuko," I said. "But you won't need to introduce yourself, Mio-san."
"What did you come here to say?"
"Truthfully,...I decided some time ago that whatever issue between you and Kasumi-chan was yours alone. But seeing as how my teammate took some time to come around to swimming, you and I are as bonded to her as a team would be. And if somehow, someway, that you feel connected to her, then please,...watch her swim. If you at least do that, there might be closure for both of you."
"Ryuko-san...thank you-I think? I'm sorry I misunderstood you, even though your...?"
"Butler."
"But-huh?"
I smiled apologetically as a girl's voice called out for Mio. "I'd explain that certain detail, but I believe your teammates are looking for you."
She turned toward the sound of the voice. Hyousuke whisked me out of the brush as Rei was walking farther out of sight, ending my time with the Samezuka swimmer.
Leaving Samezuka, I felt a revelation so tremendous that my heart thundered in my chest. With the boys' relations soured by past events and a stale falling out between Nanami Mio and Kasumi, it wouldn't take long for that attitude to spread throughout Iwatobi's two swim teams. As a member of one of them, I had no way of fighting a fate like that, but to pray. To pray that Mio would watch Kasumi swim at the regional tournament and that Rei would find a way to make peace with his current issue.
And I hoped that that would be enough.
After the next two days, the anticipation for the regional race was so intense that it intoxicated our teams to varying degrees. Samantha tried her best to rally our team on the day we left for the tournament, but both Ella and Kasumi drew quiet. Ella was more irritable of temper that I stayed vigilant of her every movement.
However, with only the company of my team, I was liberated of Hyousuke and Noritaka. Hyousuke remained by Grandmother's side so that he could drive her to the stadium, and I hoped Noritaka was with Father and not tailing the bus we rode to the faraway city. My stomach fluttered nervously for the independence, and for the time to be spent with my friends; my friends that decided to be still at the end of our trip and were deterred once more after we exited the bus.
With the boys, we used a map to lead us to the hotel reserved prior. I marveled at the lights around us, at each of the stores that beckoned us with fliers in their windows and bright signs above our heads. The sight was fascinating. To know that there were places so unique from the home you know and that others called their own residence, utterly confounded and sounded reasonable to me. In the heat of the moment, I didn't notice the fangs of the city until we made a similar corner from minutes before. My teammates, we feeble, rural prey, became lost as Makoto read through our map. Though arduous, we finally reached our destination, and the crafty beast tamed by confidence and patience.
In the lobby, each of us split into groups of two for our assigned rooms. Ella stole me away, room key in her white-knuckled grasp, and fled to the elevators ahead of everyone else. It wasn't until I set my bags beside one of the beds that I tried to stop her. But she already bolted into the bathroom and locked the door. The walls were thin enough for me to hear the horrible sounds coming from within.
"Ella-chan?" I said, moving to the bathroom door. "Are you alright?"
"'m fine," she answered, and then flushed the toilet.
The door opened, and I found her bending over at the sink faucet to wash her face.
"Ella-chan! You look so pale!" I said.
"Well, gee, thanks for pointing out the obvious," she scoffed.
She moved past me and sat on the closest bed, patting her face dry. I perched beside her and asked, "Did you overeat on the bus here?"
"Are you kidding? I didn't even try to eat breakfast. Not even worth the gagging or-"
She stiffened underneath her towel.
"You...didn't have anything to eat...at all?" I asked.
"You know what? I think I had a granola bar or something on the way here."
That's apparently a lie, I thought. Ella won't even look at me and say it.
"Very well," I said. "I hope your health isn't affected, then-"
"Michiko-chan?"
I looked at her as she did me, concerned by the way that she used my full name. "What do you know?"
"What do you-"
"Don't bull-crap me on this. Ever since you went to my house that one day, you've known something, haven't you?"
"That-was a while ago...but, I don't know what you're implying."
Could it be something to do with what she was about to say? I thought. Ever since that day...
She thought she had been talking to Yumi after I knocked on the door. It was something about medicine...and then she grew sick. In fact, she'd been ill before that day. Sickly, pale, and somewhat thin...
"You do know. Oh...gah..."
Ella stuffed her face into her towel, bending over her knees.
"Ella-chan, will you please explain to me the situation? I'm not sure I fully understand."
Ella shook her head, looking up at me. "Just-whatever you do, just forget this entire conversation. Forget it and don't ask me anymore."
She stormed into the bathroom, but I followed after her.
"Ella-chan, how can you say that? You asking me to forget something without further explanation is not fair in the slightest.
"Please, if you are sick-"
Her fist struck the bathroom counter. My breath was caught in my chest. Ella's eyes lingered on her hand, and then up to her reflection in the mirror.
"I just thought I'd lose weight faster if I did it...All the other girls were doing it. But everything changed. Everything was...different...food didn't taste the same or stay down, and my skin actually bloated at first! And then I moved here. With the new home, I thought that I could change everything, and maybe even beat it, and it kind of worked...then when hanging out with Yumi and the others, she told me that she had something to-to help lose weight easier than-"
She pounded her fists on the counter, and then against her head. I moved to stop her. Ella fought me for a brief moment before I could steady her hands. From her frustrated grunts and choked sobs, she fell to the floor saying, "I'm so stupid! I'm such an idiot!"
I kneeled beside her, waiting, listening to her curse herself. As she curled into her body, sobbing, I couldn't help but think of the first day we had met. Ella was bold and daring when she challenged our teacher, yet there was that glimmer of insecurity when she looked to me for help. Perhaps it was then that I should have seen a similar butterfly trapped in its cocoon instead of the individualistic, blithe soul. How many times had she looked into the mirror and thought something ill-suitable of her appearance? Had she the stomach to even look at her reflection anymore?...What supernatural force denied her the ability to see her real beauty?
"Ella-chan. You don't have to be alone through all of this."
She looked up at me. "W-What?"
"May I tell you something?"
Ella gave no gesture for me to continue, but I spoke nevertheless. I told her about my family's traditions, of the diets I was ordered to commit when I gained weight from stress. I explained the feeling of hating the curves I had when I was raised to be slim. And then I told her of the strength I obtained when I was with my best friend. Ella would always teach me to be one step closer to freedom, to have one more word to say before I was silenced. She and I bonded through our interest in swimming, in our opposing natures. But we could also share strength through our pain.
"So...please, Ella-chan, don't shut me out anymore. Let me help you."
Her lip quivered, and then she gave a solemn nod. When her arms opened up to me, I crawled next to her. We held onto each other for a multitudinous time, one that I didn't count with seconds, but with each sob that departed her. When Ella calmed some, she looked up and asked me, "You-You really think you can help me?"
"I can try with all of my might...am I correct in assuming that no one knows about this?"
"I think Sam and Nagisa-kun might know something, but no one else should."
"Alright. Unfortunately, we don't have the material necessary to research the issue. What we can do is take this one step at a time, and for you to distract yourself with the race tomorrow."
"Ugh...Please don't remind me..."
After leaving the bathroom, and sitting on our beds, I turned and asked her, "Does your stomach easily upset when you're anxious?"
"Yeah. And it doesn't help the other thing, either..."
I moved to retrieve medicine from my duffel bag. "I have a small first-aid kit with tablets that I have for soothing my anxiety. Remember from the district tournament?"
"That stuff that tastes like sewage?"
Ella shivered at the reminder.
I raised the medicine's box up to view. "I'm sorry that it isn't pleasant-tasting, but if you need it, help yourself to it in my bag here."
"Thanks...Michi-chan...You're a good friend."
She smiled in a way I'd never seen before; shyly, tearfully. Seeing another side of her, I felt so grateful. Not only did she allow me to help her, but she also understood and accepted my similar insecurity. And I wasn't going to fail her. Having a friend like her...it was something I wasn't bound to forget.
A knock came from the door. "Hey, girls, did you wanna get take-out or something?"
Before we answered, I looked to Ella.
"Are you willing to eat something now?" I asked her.
"I...think so."
I nodded, and then called to Samantha." Yes! Give us just a moment!"
The two of us scrambled out of our team uniforms into something comfortable before opening the door for Samantha and Kasumi.
"So I saw a place on the way here that has pizza?" Samantha said, moving inside. "Oof, wait, that's not good before a competition. Umm..."
"What about some American food? Like chicken nuggets?" Kasumi asked.
"Isn't that a bit...childish?" Ella teased. Kasumi hid her shameful blush behind her hands.
"What about something light?" I said. "Perhaps a ramen shop?"
While my curiosity was piqued by the restaurant I've never frequented before, Ella's stomach was sure to handle something light as soup. It was better to start with small foods before aiming for solid ones, as I presumed.
"That sounds good. How about it, everyone?"
"Sure!"
"Ramen! Yes!"
We then walked to the nearest ramen shop where Samantha treated us. All of us laughed and chatted over nonsense. Ella even improved as she secretly switched her bowl with Kasumi's. Our captain scolded her when Kasumi squealed at the taste of spices. And when it came time to leave, and we exited the shop, all of us stopped and stared at the boys' team across the street, leaving another restaurant similar to ours. Everyone burst into laughter, myself included.
After everything, wonderful and atrocious, I laid in bed thinking how blessed I was to have a group of friends and teammates. They challenged me, worried me, accepted me. Through trial and treasure, I was unsure of myself, of what I was able to offer. All I could do was watch as Rei argued with Rin; I could only promise to help my best friend through her darkest hours. If merely I had the power to erase their problems. A small person like myself couldn't do something so magnificent. But should they need me, I'd be there at their side. We all had a bond, a connection that started with the love of swimming. Nothing would dampen that love or our determination to race. Not while we had each other.