The party sat in silence for a while, both Gilbert and Feliciano asleep. Soon, Gilbert's breathing quickened, and he grabbed Matthew's hand tightly, face scrunching up. "Nein, nein," he muttered in his sleep, trying to turn over. He was having a nightmare that Ludwig and Feliciano had been shot instead of him. Matthew looked over at Gilbert, and held tight to his hand. "Gilbert?" He said.
Antonio walked over to his friend, and tried to shake him awake gently. Gilbert bolted awake, sitting up. He winced, feeling a sharp pain in his side. Still incoherent, he looked wildly around the room, eyes landing on Ludwig with Feliciano in his lap. "F-fuck. You're mkay, right?" he asked, words slightly slurred. He was convinced that they'd been shot, just like in his dream.
That's when Matthew saw it. The blonde gasped in shock. He hadn't been able to see from Gilbert's previous angle, but now he saw the extent of the damage. Gilbert was missing half of his forearm. Matthew's tears flowed faster down his cheeks, as he shook his head in disbelief.
"Fuck, Mattie, 's wrong?" he asked, worried. He realized that his brother and boyfriend were okay, but Matthew wasn't. He wished he could turn to hug him, but even the slightest movement of his torso caused pain to shoot through him. Being confused from the drugs, Gilbert didn't realize that part of his arm had been amputated, he just thought that he couldn't move it, like Arthur had said. Matthew choked, "What happened to your arm?" The small boy was shaking, and trying desperately to get out of his confines at that point.
Gilbert was confused. He looked down at his arm, only seeing bandages. He didn't understand why Matthew was so worked up. "I got shot. 'S nothin' 's all fixed up," he yawned, moving his remaining hand on top of Matthew's stroking his soft skin. Matthew started. "But Gilbert it's-" Arthur shook his head, cutting Matthew off.
Matthew whimpered, and said, "C-can someone get them to take these things off? I promise I'll be good..." Ludwig went to get a nurse, who grudgingly removed the restraints, telling Ludwig that Matthew had to be watched at all times. Once that had happened, Gilbert beckoned for Matthew to come sit with him, as he felt so far away from Matthew when they were in their own beds. Matthew waited for the nurse to leave before scurrying into Gilbert's bed. He was careful not to upset the IVs and get himself strapped down again. Matthew snuggled Gilbert and winced, as he rotated his wrists.
Gilbert smiled when Matthew was with him, using his hand to stroke Matthew's hair then cup his cheek, teasingly kissing his chin. He only wanted to see Matthew smile again, and he'd do anything to get Matthew to do that, he was so beautiful when he did. Matthew sighed playfully and said, "Boy, you are really bad at this aren't you..." He pecked Gilbert's lips, and smiled slightly. "Those were my lips..."
Just seeing Matthew's smile made Gilbert's day so much better. He kissed his boyfriend again, closing his eyes and tangling his hand in Matthew's hair. "I'm so glad you're okay. I don't know what I would've done without you," Gilbert whispered. Matthew's smile turned to sobs with that one phrase. He wrapped his frail, matchstick arms around Gilbert, and cried into his boyfriends chest. He felt so awful for thinking Gilbert would abandon him. He felt terrible for believing Gilbert would want him dead, and for causing all of the day's events to happen. He felt so terrible for everything, and it finally came pouring out of like flood gates being opened.
"Mattie, don' cry, please don' cry," Gilbert rubbed Matthew's back, knowing that he thought this was his fault. "It's not your fault. This was a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. You had noting to do with it, Roderich did," Ludwig assured Matthew. Feliciano woke up and ran to the pair, gently hugging both of them. "Noooo! Don't cry or you're gonna make me cry!" Tears started to fill up Feliciano's golden eyes.
Lovino had been sleeping soundly up until he heard his brother start to cry. He bolted awake, and said almost instantly, "Which one of you bastards made Felincio cry!" He pointed to Ludwig and said, "Was it you, macho potato Bastardo!?" Antonio sighed and went over to his angry little Italian. "Lovi, Please-" Lovino snapped, "Don't you 'Lovi, please' Me tomato bastard! I want to know why my brother's crying! Who do I have to take care of!?"
"No! Nobody made me cry, I just don't want anyone else to cry!" Feliciano said, wiping away his tears. He hugged Gilbert then saw his arm, face falling. "Gil? What happened to your arm?" he asked, tears filling up in his eyes again. Ludwig looked warningly at him, but Feliciano didn't care. "It-it's gone! You only got shot, I don't understand!" Feliciano started to cry, holding onto Gilbert and looking sadder than he ever had before. Gilbert was just like a brother to him, and he didn't know how hurt he was. Gilbert looked down at his arm, still confused. He tried to lift it, but his arm was bandaged to him so he didn't accidentaly hurt it any more. Matthew's tears ran faster now, as he held onto Gilbert for another reason.
Gilbert looked over to Antonio, confused. "Toni, what happened to my arm?" he asked, wiping tears from Matthew's cheeks, gently shushing him. Antonio sighed and said, "The fabric you tied around your arm, to stop the bleeding... You tied it too tight, and it cut off circulation... The doctors did your side first so they didn't realize how bad it was, but your cells died..."
It took a few moments of shocked silence for this to settle in. Gilbert's mouth dropped open and he looked at his arm, then at Antonio, then back at his arm, eyes filling with tears. So this was what everyone was keeping quiet about? He'd lost his fucking arm! This meant that Gilbert could never join the army. He could never properly hug Matthew again, and he couldn't hold things with that hand. He was ready to murder Roderich, this was all his fault. A few months before, Gilbert would have given an arm and a leg to get Roderich to come back to him. Now, he'd given his arm, and for what? "Fuck, Oh fuck," Gilbert sobbed, holding tightly onto Matthew. He wasn't as concerned with how he looked as he was to what this had done to him. Matthew rubbed Gilbert's back and cried with his boyfriend.
Lovino nodded determinedly and said, "Does anybody have a quarter?" Ludwig got a quarter out of his pocket, handing it to Lovino. Lovino got up and began to make his way to the door, when Antonio called, "Lovi, where are you going?"
Lovino said, "I'm going down the street to the payphone... I need to make a call that can't be traced to me..." The Vergaz family was notorious throughout Italy for being one of the larger Mafia families, but that was what the brothers' father moved them to America to get away from. Lovino had been caught by his brother the year before still working for an american branch of the Mafia. Felincio was extremely suspicious of him now, as he made Lovino swear not to work for them again. Lovino kept that promise to an extent: he wasn't working for anyone anymore, he was running the show. What Roderick did, by starting that riot, was war in Mafia terms, and Lovino had much more experience in that field then Roderick. Lovino had experience, youth, numbers, weapons, resources, money, and motivation. Of corse none of those factors win wars, but they sure do help.
Gilbert felt empty, and he'd never be able to do any of those things that mattered so much to him. He couldn't help Matthew back up when he fell, he couldn't cup Matthew's face in his hands and kiss his perfect lips, he couldn't hold Matthew's hands and look into his eyes. He looked down at Matthew, tears turning him into a blurry mess. Gilbert buried his face in Matthew's chest, tears soaking through his flimsy hospital gown. Matthew shushed Gilbert softly, and pet his soft hair, as he watched them wheel in the last member of their group, who was also missing something. Kiku had been burnt so badly on his legs that doctors were forced to amputate them.
Gilbert sobbed even more when he saw what had happened to Kiku. "I fucking hate Roderick, I fucking hate him!" he screamed, burying his face in Matthew's chest. This was all Roderick's fault. All he'd lost was his voice and the ability to play piano, and that wasn't even permanent, while the members of their group had all been hurt in unspeakable ways.
Lovino saw Kiku and nodded to himself even more determined. "Don't worry..." He said to the group as a whole, "I won't let them get away with this... This is war now!" Lovino turned and ran out of their word.
Matthew watched Lovino run out, and began to rock Gilbert gently back and forth, in an attempt to calm him down, and give him some comfort. Matthew said, "Gilbert, it'll be okay... I promise..."
"No! It'll never be okay! Look what happened to Kiku, look what happened to Alfred, look what happened to me for god's sake!" Gilbert sobbed, holding even tighter onto his boyfriend. He just wanted the day to start all over, he just wanted to have come to school on time and held Matthew and let him know just how special he was.
Matthew began to cry harder, and he choked, "I-I'm so sorry... This is all my fault... How could I have been so selfish!?" He broke down into tears again. He couldn't help but feel like things would have been so much better if he had never been born.
"Don't you dare say that. This is Roderich's fault and you know it," Gilbert said angrily, causing Matthew to flinch. Gilbert gave Matthew a tearful kiss, playing with his hair. Matthew still felt as though it was his fault, but he figured he was just the trigger. The ammo was running through his and Gilbert's very veins.
Gilbert held on to Matthew, tears still streaming down his cheeks. Ludwig, meanwhile, was looking very angry. "I texted dad, and he said he couldn't come until four months from now. What the fuck?" he asked, glaring at his phone.
Matthew looked at Ludwig sympathetically. "I'm sorry..." He said, with a hint of sadness in his voice. He'd received no word from his own family, but more likely then not his father wanted nothing to do with his suicidal son. "The last thing I said to my father, was a promise to drag him to hell with me, should I find myself there... I don't regret it... But I'll probably never see my parents again..."
"What do you mean?" Ludwig asked, worried, Gilbert silently rubbed Matthew's back, kissing his boyfriends head. "If you 'n Alfred ever need to, you can stay with us," Gilbert said, looking over at Alfred. Matthew nodded, and said, "Our father's a drunken wife beater... I told him in my suicide message that if I were to find myself there, I would crawl back to Earth and drag him back to Hell with me..."
"He belongs in hell, along with Roderick," Gilbert growled menacingly. How could anybody beat so kind and frail as Akahana? He held tighter onto Matthew, whispering soothingly to him.