Title: Patience Is For Amateurs (sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)
Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks
Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.
A/N: Thank you to knkykty, cleanslate, im2looney, and livinginrhythm for their beta skills, suggestions and mad listening. Also, major appreciation to GoingVintage for making me try harder. Thank you!
"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.
Noah pulled Rachel into a one-armed embrace, the other hand dropped to her abdomen. "I love you so much, babe," he whispered in between quick kisses to her lips. "So much. You know that, right? I don't want you to ever question that."
Rachel laughed as she linked her hand with his. She could tell that the reality of twins was getting a little more "real" since they had told the Gleeks. It was one thing to have the secret to themselves, but it certainly took on a whole new feeling now that their closest friends knew. If she was honest with herself, she was probably a lot more scared that he was but someone had to at least pretend to be confident.
"Noah, you tell me every day you love me," she whispered back. "And you can show me tonight how much you love me."
He gave her a quick squeeze to the ass and a wink. "You can count on that, babe. I plan on collecting on that as soon as our son is asleep, but right now it's time to do some gaming with the guys. You girls gonna catch up on stuff or what do you have planned?"
"I'm not really sure," she mumbled. "Quinn and Finn are arguing so they might be leaving and I'm not sure I can stay awake during another conversation with Brittany."
She sagged into his arms and rested her head on his chest. He held her close until he felt a pat on his back.
"Da. Can we do some gaming now, please?" Asher grinned.
Noah looked from their son to his wife and tried to muster the best puppy dog begging face that he could. As usual, he failed miserably, probably due to the fact that his right eyebrow jutted upward with a naughty curve that had other uses in his marriage.
Rachel laughed as she playfully smacked Noah's arm. "Not because you're begging, but because I need you to stop making that pathetic face. Please! Go do some gaming with your son and friends before I actually fall for that look."
A quick victory dance from father and son just made her laugh harder, but she stopped as they left her eyesight. She realized that she'd have to play hostess to her other girl Gleeks, and for some reason she felt like she did in high school, highly inadequate. Rachel ran her fingers through her hair, smoothed her shirt and walked back into the kitchen. She could do this. She could definitely do this. If she could make it through all the things that she had been made to deal with in the last five years, she could do something easy like talk. Right?
In the living room the guys, minus Kurt, had decided to play one of Asher's cartoon based car racing games. Despite its' childish appearance, they found that the more they played, the more difficult it got. This fact bugged the daylights out of Noah every time Asher advanced in the game while his car kept blowing up.
"Da! You need to watch out for the boulders coming down the mountain. They keep squishing you," Asher cautioned. He was obviously frustrated that his father wasn't paying attention and memorizing the patterns.
Noah desperately looked to his son for suggestions. "Okay, so to get through that part of the track I need to hit left, right, up, down and then the square button?"
Asher bobbed his head affirmatively, "Yeah, Da! You keep pushing the triangle at the end. Push the square!"
Finn and Artie shared a laugh as they elbowed each other; this got a quick glare from Noah. The two men quickly stifled their laughter with a hand to their mouths.
Will just looked away as he patted Noah on the back. "I guess we need to listen to the expert, Puck. Asher seems to have this game memorized. Very impressive Asher."
Asher grinned at Mr. Schue and jumped into his lap. The boy began to explain how to complete the rest of the current level as well as the following three in a very excited voice. The man tried to keep up with the instructions he was being given but got lost after a dozen or so joystick with button combinations. After a few polite head nods and echoing from the teacher Asher took his turn at the game getting through multiple levels before he lost a life. After a quick high five to his father, Asher went back into the kitchen to grab a cookie.
When Emma saw Asher she motioned for him to sit on her lap. He happily climbed up to lay back in her arms. She held him firmly as she began to talk to him. "You looked so excited when you talked about the new babies, honey. Do you want your Mama to have two boys, two girls or one of each?"
Asher thought about the question for a moment before answering. He scratched his head while he looked to his mother.
"I think one boy and one girl. Then Mama could have someone on her team and the boys would still win," he grinned.
The occupants around the kitchen table sighed and smiled at Rachel as she grabbed her son off Emma's lap to snuggle him close. She knew that there would be a time in the next few months when she couldn't hold him like that for lack of space or what is because of the extra space she would be taking up? Either way she knew she needed to do this as much as possible for both of them, probably more for her. Rachel stoked his hair until he started mumbling.
"Mama, not my hair. Please." Asher swatted her hands away from his head.
She quickly stopped her movements and turned him to face her. "I apologize, Bug. Can I give you a kiss instead?"
Rachel was soon peppered with kisses on both cheeks from her laughing son. He squished her cheeks and over-dramatically kissed her nose before he jumped down and ran back into the living room.
"So what's the deal with Hudson, Quinn? I was sure you two would be married by now, or at least engaged."
Quinn clenched her jaw as she glared at Santana. In high school, she was the captain of the Cheerios, the president of the Chastity Club, the girlfriend of the quarterback - she was going to get back that control.
"What about you, Lopez? No prospects in Chicago? Or is that why you to came back to Lima, to try to take Finn from me again?" she snarled, once again reminded of Finn's contradictory feelings due to Santana's prodding.
Brittany just extended her left arm with her fingers stretched out. The engagement ring on her finger was incredibly obvious to everyone but she still found it necessary to wiggle her fingers. She smiled broadly as she held Santana's hand. "She just asked me this weekend so we haven't had time to tell anyone. We're planning on a summer wedding. Can Asher be our ring bearer?"
After what seemed like a very long time of everyone in the kitchen looking at each other and trying to pick their jaws up off the floor, Kurt finally spoke. "So how did you pop the question Santana? Or the better question when did you two become a couple?" he grinned.
Santana's face went red when she realized that she had been called out. She was obviously thrown off by the shift in the conversation and was fumbling over words. Everyone in the room waited for a reply from the dark-haired girl but instead Brittany answered the question.
"First, Santana asked my parents last week, then she took me to the park and we sat and watched the ducks. After about an hour of just sitting there she got down on one knee and proposed. It was very romantic!" she gushed, one hand still linked with the brunette's. She dropped a quick peck on the other girl's cheek then winked as she continued, "As for the rest of it, that would be none of your beeswax so don't bother trying to get it out of me, Kurt."
When the guys didn't hear any sound coming from the kitchen they started to get concerned. It was always a bad sign when the girls were quiet, in their opinion - that meant they were either plotting against them or fighting amongst themselves. Since the girls hadn't been in the same room since Mr. Schue's wedding they were betting on a fight, most likely started between Quinn and Santana.
Noah decided he'd go into the kitchen under the pretences that they needed something to drink and he was being a good host. He knew Rachel wouldn't buy it, but his curiosity was getting the better of him.
He cautiously entered the kitchen to see everyone around the table staring at Brittany's ring while they congratulated both girls. It took him a minute to figure out exactly had happened, so when Santana saw the huge grin on his face, she stood up to ready herself for the barrage of questions.
"Congrats, San. I'm glad you finally grew a pair and owned up. About fuckin' time, Lopez." He clapped her on the back and then leaned over to give Brittany a hug. He turned back around to see the brunette with her jaw open, astounded that he had passed up a chance to give her grief.
Rachel just smiled at Noah, immensely proud of her husband. She would have to show him how much she appreciated him later, maybe even debut the new lingerie she had bought a few weeks ago.
"Babe, I'm just gonna grab some pop for the guys and some juice for Asher then I'll get out of your hair." He returned her smile as he noted the look in her eyes. Score!
Rachel watched as her husband walked out of the kitchen enjoying the view, then her eyes went to Quinn, whose eyes were starting to well up. For a day that had begun with two fantastic announcements then segued to a surprise revelation, it didn't seem to have much hope for ending as well. She wondered if this is what being an adult was about, trying to pick yourself up and put yourself back together when the universe knocked you to pieces? It was definitely part of it, but the love she had in her life was what she focused on.
The sad blonde walked over and slumped in the seat next to Rachel. She looked unusually small and defeated as she sat there trying to stifle a sob, trying being the operative word.
"It's really upsetting you, isn't it Quinn? I wish there was something I could do to help you." Rachel said quietly.
Quinn snorted a little, "Could you ask your husband to talk to Finn? Maybe he can explain why it's so important for a girl who marry the boy she loves. I mean, you get up in front of all your friends to promise that you'll love them forever. Isn't that what everyone wants?"
"Just explain things to Finn! I'm sure if you explained your perspective he'd understand your disappointment." She paused a moment. "So when you talk to him about marriage what does he say?"
"Um," Quinn stared at her hands instead of at her friend. "He says it's not time yet. It's always something about how we need to wait, just a little longer. I honestly don't get it, Rachel. We'll be graduating this summer so I keep hoping he'll propose by then."
"It just sounds like you might be right, Quinn. Maybe once you two graduate he might feel like he's ready, I can't even hazard a guess with Finn. I can usually figure out what Noah or Asher is plotting but that is the extent of my abilities."
Quinn laughed at her friend. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to figure out what Finn is up to, honestly. I think that's what keeps me trying so hard. I love him and he drives me crazy. Is that what keeps you and Noah together?"
In the living room Finn was getting his butt kicked at video games by a kindergartner and being laughed at by his friends but all he could think of was Quinn. A smack to his shoulder from Noah brought him out of his thoughts and back to the room.
"Hudson! What is the problem? You're getting slayed by my five year old and all you can do is sigh dramatically," Noah groaned.
"Uh, sorry, Puck. I was just thinking." Finn just half-grinned and shrugged. "About Quinn. And stuff."
Artie did a quick roll of his eyes. "Finn, just propose! It insanely obvious you want to, so why haven't you yet?"
"Seriously, dude! It's so obvious even I can see it." Puck laughed. "Just ask her, Hudson. I'll bet you a bar tab that Quinn is in there spilling her guts to Rachel as we speak."
"Puck! Quit it," he sighed loudly. " And I am ready to propose. I just need to make two more payments, that's it. I can have the ring by Christmas break, easy."
"Uncle Finn? You should talk to Mama. When I have a problem and I make that thinking face like you did she helps me." Asher suggested.
Finn ginned at the boy. "Thanks, Ash. She is pretty smart."
A few seconds later all the heads in the room whipped around when they actually heard Rachel speak. Noah was pretty sure Finn, Artie and Mr. Schue flinched audibly when she seemingly materialized after being mentioned.
She smiled as she walked in the room, waving at Asher as he beat Finn another time. "Noah, may I speak to you for a moment?"
She quickly grabbed his hand to pull him into the hallway just slightly out of earshot of the two groups.
"What's up, babe? Are you okay?" he panicked.
She linked their fingers together and put them to her belly to reassure him. "I'm fine. The babies are fine. What I'm concerned about, or rather whom, is Quinn and Finn." she whispered.
"Rachel!" he snapped, "Don't scare the shit out of me like that! Damn. I thought we both agreed there had been enough drama this week, babe?"
She pulled away from him, turned and crossed her arms. "I apologize but a friend of mine is miserable because of a friend of yours and I think we can help."
He knew he was in trouble when he could barely hear her voice so when her shoulders started to bob up and down, he was sure he was toast. He quickly put a hand to her back as he could hear her choke back a small sob.
"Quinn is so sad, Noah. She loves Finn and just wants to marry him and be with him so badly." A ragged inhale escaped her lips. "It just breaks my heart because I want them to be as happy as we are."
She turned around and it was her husband's turn to have his heart broken. Her eyes were pink, splotchy and there were big tears rolling down her cheeks. The part that really hurt was the fact that her bottom lip quivered along with her chin.
He pulled her into a hug as he tried to console her. He remembered there had been some rough spots in their relationship when she was pregnant with Asher, the whole shitfest because of Santana came to mind, then the drama of having to live with his mother for a while.
Rachel felt him tense up and looked up into his eyes. "What, Noah?"
"I need to apologize first. I don't want you to think that I'm angry. Shit, no." He paused to take his index finger to push her hair over her shoulder. "You scared me when you yanked me into this fuckin' hallway and started whispering. I'm not a man to beg, but for fuck's sake, Rach, don't do that unless I need to panic, got it?"
She covered her mouth to laugh as she buried her head into his chest.
"I love you, Noah. Don't worry about me getting the word out that you're really a nice guy at heart, okay? I'll continue to let them live under the illusion that you're still a badass," she giggled.
He narrowed his eyes at his wife, "Tell no one and you shall be greatly rewarded for your silence."
Rachel got up on her tiptoes to plant an overly loud kiss to Noah's lips. He groaned loudly when he heard the whistles from the guys in the living room.
"Okay, so what's the deal with Quinn and Finn? How is the fact that he's got her ring almost paid off equal to making her miserable?" he asked.
Rachel spluttered a few times before she spoke, "Huh? Wha.."
Noah quickly whipped out his cellphone from his back pocket to take a picture of the speechless, stunned woman with her jaw dropped. He paused to look at his phone and then reset his wallpaper to the new addition.
"Noah Asher Puckerman, senior!" she punched his arm with a scowl on her face. "Delete that picture immediately. I look like a cartoon character gone wrong!"
Noah smirked, "What? How many times in my life have I been able to see you so at a loss for words? I thought I'd like to remember what it looked like."
"You do realize that this is going on your permanent record, right?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, fine." He clicked a few buttons to appease her. "So let's get back to your meddling."
"It's not meddling!" she protested. "Quinn didn't get the whole story. She has no clue that Finn has a ring at all, he just keeps telling her that it's not time yet. Which of course makes total sense now after hearing that he actually has a ring but he's just waiting to pay it off."
She clapped her hands excitedly as she started to hatch a plan. Her husband saw the look in her eyes and started to panic.
"Whatever it is, Rach, no. Just no. Hell no. Fuck no." He grabbed both of her arms to emphasize his point, "Don't do it, babe. Whatever shit you're cooking up in that big brain of yours, please just quit."
"Noah, I merely want to assure Quinn that the man she adores, as well as wants to spend the rest of her life with, is equally committed to her."
Noah rolled his eyes. "As absolutely hot as your big words are, I really don't think we should get into other people's shit. Seriously."
"Well, what if we loaned Finn the money?" she wondered out loud. "Yes! We need to loan him the money so he can propose to her."
Noah narrowed his eyes at his wife. "Rach. No. This is between Hudson and Quinn. You don't poke your nose into another guy's shit. I might as well just kick him in the junk and then it would be our fault that they couldn't have kids. Do you want that guilt on your conscience?"
"Fine. You find out how much he owes using your verbal ninja skills and I'll give the money to Quinn and tell her that you owed Finn some money." she paused for a moment until a smirk crawled across her face, "Don't you still owe him for some hockey pool thingamajig?"
He was not amused at being reminded of the debt, "You do realize this is going down on your permanent record, right?"
"Let's try again, Noah." she curved one eyebrow up, "I just bought a new ensemble that will rock your little world and the only way you're going to see it is if you open up your wallet and show our good friend Finn what an honorable man you are and pay your debt. Got it, Puckerman?"
"Fuck. Me."
Rachel stretched up to kiss the tip of his nose, "Only if you're lucky, sweet cheeks."
Noah gave her a sideways look as he grabbed his wallet from his back pocket. He opened it to remove a few bills to cover what he owed his friend. With a few steps he crossed the room to slip the money discreetly into Finn's hand accompanied by a wink and a shoulder bump. As the taller man realized what Noah had done his eyes lit up and he ran into the kitchen to find Quinn.
The blonde got pulled outside to the Berry's porch looking quite confused. All the Gleeks rushed into the kitchen to watch the pair through the sliding glass door. The girls started to scream and the guys started to high five each other when they saw the former football captain go down on one knee, the blonde covering her mouth as she bawled.
"You're a good man, Noah Puckerman," Rachel whispered. "A very good man."
A/N: Please take the time to comment or review. It's what writers live on!