I furiously paced back and forth in the bedroom I was oh-so-politely shown to, passing the contemporary and modern pieces of furniture for the thousandth time. "That was stupid." I growled to myself, itching at the bandage on my arm, the cut still gently throbbing. "He's sixteen. I'm such an idiot." I felt a part of me disagree. A part that, for my own appearance of sanity, I had learned to repress to near silence, but he was becoming louder and louder within the most recent week or so. I found that I didn't even mind that much. After all, Trix always knows what to do.
"You just kissed him." the voice said reasonably... But sometimes, a voice of reason isn't what I want.
"Sure, we only kissed, but it could lead to so much more than that." I cried out to the empty room. "Do I really want to get into a serious relationship with the person hunting down my only friend?"
"Does he mean something to you?" Trix questioned calmly.
"I'll be putting the both of them in even more danger!" I ignored Trix's question. "I don't deserve someone like him, Trix..." I hung my head, cradling my face in my hands. "I just wanted to keep Raven safe." I whispered through my teeth. "Now look what I've done."
"It's not illegal to care for more than one person." Trix added.
"Ha!" I gave a short bark of laughter, but it was a hollow, empty sound. "Interesting choice of words. Like I... Like we haven't done anything illegal before." I mumbled. I have had really only two other conversations with Trix before. It always gave me spitting headaches. It would eventually hurt to the point where I either get extremely dizzy or collapse. Neither of which are very pleasant. Already I could feel the fog of a migraine on the edges of my mind. "Is there any chance?"
"How do you expect me to know? I only know as much as you do." Trix's voice had an undertone of exasperation. "We know she's alive." I nodded in silence. "We know she's working for the Joker." Again, I nodded. "We suspect that she was here and that she stole something... We can also assume that she is whom Robin is chasing after right about... now." I grimaced at the last part, flashes of nightmares flooding my mind.
"You make it sound kind of hopeless." I sighed. "Or is that your way of telling me there's nothing I can do?"
"Depends. But you need to answer my question first." His stern demand made me pause, and for a second a disorienting wave of dizziness made me sway. "Does Dick mean something to you?"
The question was harder than I thought, and yet, not hard at all. It's true, Dick's presence in my life gave me a feeling of... comfort, and his company quickly became something I craved. When I saw him in trouble at the club just a few nights ago, didn't I abandon my search for Raven to ensure his safety? Wasn't he the one for which I feared for in a fight against my old partner? "... Yes." I finally said."... I care for him."
"Then I believe that you should tell him. Everything." I gaped at the nothingness of my own subconscious until a beating pain from my temples snapped me out of it.
"You want me to do what?" I could hardly believe him-myself-whatever! "Tell him? Have you lost your mind?!"
"..."
"Don't answer that." I huffed, taking a seat on the edge of the low bed in the corner of the room, burying my face in my hands again. My head felt as if it was slowly ripping open. "... Tell him everything..." I repeated. The notion sounded so backwards to my instincts. "Wouldn't it be easier to lie and run away with one of Wayne's pretty cars?" I whimpered.
"Is that what you want?" Trix asked me. The tone in his voice sounded like what I always imagined a mother talking to her child would sound.
"... No," I grumbled, "at least, everything except the whole car thing."
... Well, Trix always knows what to do.
I jolted upright when a knock sounded on the door. My brain screamed in protest at the sudden movement. "What?" I called out.
"Young Master Grayson wishes to inform you that he has returned." Alfred's voice flowed from the hallway. "And that he will see you after he... freshens up." I waited until I could no longer hear the butler's footsteps before standing. Yeah right, like I was going to sit here and wait. If I was going to tell Dick anything, it would be now while I have the nerve.
"I'll all work out." Trix lied through his teeth before fading back to the recesses of my mind.
I wish.