Hey everyone! Who is surprised I finally uploaded a chapter? Thank every single one of you that has added me as a Fav; I apologize sooooo much for taking as long as I have to started writing again. I've had a lot of personal issue going on, a divorce for one, moving into Hollywood, for another…and a string of unfortunate events. SO…I am glad to be back on here, I love every single one of you, expect the bitchy girl who said I sucked for having lyrics in my chapters, to her I say "blow me"…I have a few more chapters already written, but I have a bad case of writers block. But I promise to work diligently and start post chapters every week….SO once again thank you for all the added FAVs, as well as you die-hards that have been waiting and pleading for me to continue…Here's the next chapter I hope you love it, if you have ANY ideas, or comments, PLEASE message me, I love to hear from you, it's a HUGE inspiration. Oh and I don't own the characters, except Haley…she's mine! lol
Chapter 11. Home
Weezer "Butterfly"
Yesterday I went outside
with my mama's mason Jar,
Caught a lovely butterfly,
When I woke up today
Looked in on my fairy pet
She had withered all away
No more sighing in her breast/
I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Every time I pin down what I think I want it slips away
The goal slips away/
Smell you on my hands for days
I can't wash away you scent
If I'm a dog then you're a bitch
I guess you're as real as me
Maybe I can live with that
Maybe I need fantasy
Life of chasing butterfly/
I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Every time I pin down what I think I want it slips away
The goal just slips away/
I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I aint never coming back
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Jasper's POV
"You can't leave Jasper, it won't change anything" Alice said as she placed her tiny hand on my shoulder.
I had been standing starring out the window ever since I had read Bella's journal. Though Bella had said that she didn't blame me, and had forgiven me the moment it had happened; I didn't. I never hated myself and what I was, more than I did that night. I loved Bella. She brought peace and happiness into my life. Yes, Alice brought love, joy, and a future to me; but Bella had given my family a fresh breath of air. For once I wasn't burdened with Edward's self hatred, his deep sadness, and his longing. Even the good moments I had with Alice, were always tainted, with his emotions. He wanted what we all had; he wanted love, a life, a partner; and Bella gave him that.
With Bella's arrival, my life changed. I experienced the feelings of "new love" again, and it made me fall deeper in love with my Alice. I found humor, in Edward's emotions on a daily basis; and for once, I truly felt like a brother, and a son. But the monster I am, the monster I had tried to overcome for years couldn't be stifled. And when I was taken outside, and able to breath fresh clean air, I was able to realize, I had in one second, destroyed my family. I could feel, Edward's pain, disgust, and finality, as he came outside to talk to me. As he told me, what happen was to be expected, and that it was not my fault. I tried to leave that night. I thought that without the threat of the "crazed blood hungry Jasper', my family wouldn't have to loose Bella. But Alice stopped me the same way she was trying to stop me now; my heart couldn't bear it. I had caused my Alice, to loose the one real friend she ever had. I had caused Edward to loose the love of his life. I had destroyed my family, and it was time I did something for them; even if leaving the love of my life was that something.
"You will not leave me, Jasper Whitlock" Alice said in a stronger voice.
"This is the one thing I can do, to make up for what I have done" I said sadly, refusing to look at her.
"YOU, have done nothing Jasper…Please don't leave"
"I haven't done anything?…Please Alice! Not only have I destroyed this family, and am the reason for Edward's shattered heart….but I caused Bella, so much pain…I took Edward from her, I'm the reason we left her, and that makes me the reason she didn't have anyone there to protect her when…when…when EVERYTHING happened to her…you can't stand there and ask me to stay Alice…I owe them this much…I owe her this much and so much more" I said through gritted teeth.
"Jasper…It's not your fault, no one blames you…Bella didn't even blame you…Please Jasper, please" Alice pleaded.
"I can't Alice, I just can't" I tried to make her understand.
"Jasper, I need you stay…I can't go through this alone…none of us can…we all need each other right now…you can't go" she continued her pleas
"Alice I have-" I was cut off by a little sad voice that nearly broke my heart, more than it was already.
"Uncle Jaspurrr you can't go by by…" A little Haley said sadly from my side. I glanced down at the most exquisite child I have ever seen. And there she was, her big vivid green eyes, shining with tears, her colorful bouncy curls framing her cherub face, and her popsicle red colored lips quivering, and her desert that she was allowed after she had finished her dinner melting down her arm.
"Oh little Darling…I have to go" I said sadly as I reached down and pulled her into an embrace, before standing and clutching her to my side.
"But…but...but….I waited for a weally weally long time for you to come uncle Jaspurrr….Mommy's not awake yet…don't go by by, I don't want you to go…I want you to stay here forever with me….what about jack?" She began to cry and hid her face in my chest as her body wracked with sobs.
"Jack" I repeated softly, as I remembered a passage in Bella's Journal. It was a dream Haley had, one of her dreams where she spent the day with me. I had bought her a pony that she named jack. I had taught her to ride, and rope, 'Like a real cowboy', as Haley had put it. And I don't know if it was the memory of the passage and the imagery I had when I read those passages, or just the crying angel in my arms, begging me not to leave, in between sobs; but I knew at that moment, that I couldn't leave…no, I'd never leave. I needed Haley, as much as she thought she needed me to stay. My family…yes….MY family needed me too; we all needed each other. We needed each others love and support to do the RIGHT thing for Bella, regardless of the consequences. If leaving wasn't an option than I would do whatever it will take to make up for what I had created; I was not ever, going to let Bella down again. And to be honest, I was kidding myself, thinking I could leave in the first place; how could I have ever left this amazing gift, that called me Uncle Jaspurr?
"Your just a big 'ol softy, Uncle Jaspurr" Alice giggled as she wrapped her tiny arms around Haley and I.
"Yeah, Yeah whatever Aunt Awice" I chuckled back, as I held on to the two most important people in life.
"Ok seriously…your hoggin the munchkin, and if I don't get to play with her before she does that napping thing again-" Emmett huffed as he walked down the stairs, but was cut off by Carlisle.
"How may times do I have to remind you she's not a Toy Emmett" I heard Carlisle's voice ring from upstairs.
"Besides, it's 7:00pm, and it's time for a bath and then it's bedtime" Rosalie chimed in, as she flew down the stairs, heading straight for us.
"But I haven't gotten to even hold her yet" Alice said, releasing me and stomping her foot.
"So what, it aint my fault you weren't here" Emmett said indignantly, as he pushed; yes, pushed his wife out of the way.
"Are you freakin kidding me Emmett" Rosalie yelled as she picked herself off the floor and brushed off the imaginary dirt from her pants.
"Rosalie, I get to give Haley a bath, I haven't had any time with her" Alice practically yelled as she walked towards an approaching Emmett, and a Rosalie, slightly behind him.
"Nope, it's my turn" Emmett whined.
"You can't give her a bath, she's a girl" Alice yelled.
"So" Emmett huffed.
"So, you can't bath her…it's just something that…well…you aren't giving her a bath" Rosalie stated in finality.
"Exactly; and since I just spent the last hour decorating her room, its my turn" Alice said while stomping her foot again.
By this time I had swiftly walked past them and almost all the way up the stairs, Haley still sniffling into my shirt. Their bickering continued as I walked towards Haley's newly decorated room. As I reached the door, I noticed her name spelled out in soft pink, creamy white and soft green colored letters. I turned the doorknob and opened the door. It was like walking into an old English garden. At the far wall that had recently been painted a beautiful creamy white color, there were three extremely large windows, framed by creamy white billowing curtains trimmed in a soft pink. There was a large soft pink colored couch, two large fluffy soft green colored chairs and a creamy white ottoman.
The creamy white, left wall of the room had a queen size bed against it, with a large headboard, and dust ruffle that were both creamy white with green polka dots. The sheets a creamy white, the comforter a soft pink, and the mound of pillows all different variations of polka dots and solids of creamy white, soft pink, and soft green. There was a large white crystal chandelier hanging above the bed. On each side of the bed there were creamy white tables, with beautiful soft pink fake roses, in soft green vases.
The right wall of the room was painted a soft green, that was actually a giant chalk board. On the bottom of the wall, stickers of shrubs and flowers were placed, making it look like an Old English garden. Even the door to the large bathroom looked as if it was a picture of a garden. There was a large short creamy white table with four chairs, that was littered with containers full of chalk, makers, crayons, pencils, glue, and various other art related items. There was also a large green ottoman that could have been mistaken for a shrub; I guessed it was some sort of toy box.
On the creamy white wall that contained the door to the closet and the door I had just walked through, was a very large soft pink book shelf, that was actually a structure of cubbies/square shelves. Some shelves held creamy white or soft green fabric baskets, some where filled with picture frames all different variations of polka dots and solids of creamy white, soft pink, and soft green. Some where left empty and some were filled with various books. Scattered throughout the whole room were large rugs, that looked like circular patches of grass. The room in one world was fairytale.
My insane family was still bickering as I muttered "Good job Alice" under my breath, as I took in the room.
"What Uncle Jaspurr?" Haley sniffled as she lifted her head from my chest. Her breath caught and her sniffles instantly disappeared.
"Do you like you new room Haley" I whispered, as I watched her eyes roam the room.
"It's mine?" She asked quietly.
"Yup, all yours…Aunt Alice made it for you" I whispered, as I sat her down on her feet. And I watched her run around the room touching everything, in complete awe. She kept muttering "so pretty", and I softy chuckled each time. As I walked to her closet and grabbed a pair of her pajamas that of course matched her room, I heard my family realize Haley and I were no longer downstairs. I walked over to her bed and placed her Pj's at the foot of it, then took a seat in the creamy white and soft pink rocking chair, next to the bed. Haley ran to me and hopped onto my lap, and turned those huge green eyes on me.
"Your not going away are you uncle Jaspurr?" She asked sadly.
"No Darling, I'm not, I couldn't leave you if I wanted to" I whispered to her softly as I tapped the tip of her nose with my finger.
"Good" She said replicating my signature Texas grin; which just made me fall in love with her even more.
"Well I see you like your room" Alice said softly as she walked into her masterpiece of a bedroom.
"It's so big and pretty" Haley said happily.
"Well thank you…I was pretty sure you'd like it" Alice trilled as she bounced onto the bed.
"It is lovely Alice" Esme said as she entered the room, everyone nodding agreeing and following behind her.
"I dunno….its pretty girly" Emmett murmured.
"She a girl you ass" Rosalie said as she reach up and slapped Emmett on the back of the head twice.
"What was that for?" Emmett whined
"One was for you being an idiot, the other was for pushing me earlier" Rosalie said as she crossed her arms and dared Emmett to challenge her.
"Rosalie Hale! Watch your language" Esme scolded.
"But I-" Rosalie countered
"Yup see…she's a bad influence, and that's why I, should get the munchkin" Emmett snipped.
"Oh you got to be kidding me Emmett-" Alice jumped up her hands balled up in fist and her foot stomping at the injustice.
"Enough everyone" Carlisle's voice rang with authority. "Thank you…well Haley my little precious girl…it's a sad day when your aunts and uncles can't act like adults, so grandpa Carlisle has devised a plan" Carlisle said walking towards Haley's art table and grabbing a piece of pink chalk.
I think I heard Emmett cough 'looser' into his hand about the same time, Haley asked, " Deveyesssd?"
"Ummm, right…I made up a plan." Carlisle smile
"Ohhh" Haley said slowly.
" I made up a plan, so you get to spend lots of time with everyone, and don't get stuck in the middle of their bickering…You see everyday is a different person's day, and each morning and night, a different girl gets to bath and dress you…it's all fair and equal…now if you decide Haley that you want to do something with someone else other than the person who's day it is, that is ok and the rotation with stop and restart the next day with whoever's day it had been…" Carlisle said proud of himself and his quick charting skills.
"Huh?" Haley giggled, causing all of us to laugh.
"She's 4 Carlisle" Emmett said irritated, which made us all laugh harder.
"Oh right…well, precious you don't really need to know the logistics of it…just Alice will start the Bathing rotation, and Emmett spent the most time with you so he gets to tuck you in bed as he started the first day rotation"
"So I have to wait a whole 5 days to play again?" Emmett whined.
"Unless Haley decided she wants to play with you" Carlisle chuckled.
"Don't worry Uncle Whenmet, I'll play with you" Haley said softly from my lap.
"Awwww, isn't that sweet, she feels sorry for you" Rosalie chuckled.
"Ok ok, enough lets, give Alice and Haley some privacy, Emmett Alice will come get you, so you can read Haley a bedtime story…come on now" Esme's motherly voice rang out with soft authority, as she stood and shooed everyone out of the room.
" I love you precious, have fun with your Aunt Alice" I said softly as I kissed the top of her head, and breathed in her scent, it was a mixture sun warmed freesia and gardenia, with a splash of orange blossom. If there had been and undertone of Magnolia, she would've smelled like my childhood in the summer; at least what I remember of it, either way, she smelled like HOME.