Authors Note:

Hello again my lovelies. :) Thank you so much again for the reviews, I can't believe how many of you are still reading! :D

Right a quick warning about this chapter. I did consider changing this to a M but I personally don't think that it's that bad. However if any of you think that it should be changed then let me know! I read a lot of M fics and so may have just become a bit insensitive to it. :P

Also I have only just finished it and although I have edited it please be aware that it is half past eleven at night where I am. :P I HOPE that I've kept them in character and that there aren't any spelling and gramatical mistakes, but I'm making no promises.

There's a lot more that I wanted to say but I'll let you all just get on with reading this haha. ;)

Hope you all enjoy. x

Hermione couldn't believe that she was actually going to get an answer. Not even to just one, but to both of her questions. She couldn't see how McGonagall had gone from refusing point blank to answer to suddenly being so willing.

The head of Gryffindor - who'd just gone into the kitchen to get herself a Firewhiskey and Hermione hot chocolate - felt the same way. Why was it that she couldn't say no to Hermione? Except she had! She had said no to Hermione, for all of ten minutes anyway. The problem wasn't saying no, the problem was sticking to her convictions; or more to the point, wanting to.

When she returned to the living area Hermione was sitting somewhat nervously and McGonagall asked herself again what she was doing. The young witch was her student; she shouldn't be telling her something so personal, so private. Yet there seemed little point in fighting it as it wasn't like it had been working so far which was the reason they were in this position in the first place.

Hermione sensed how uncomfortable the older woman was as she handed her the hot chocolate. "You don't have to tell me." As much as Hermione wanted to know she also didn't want to see the woman she cared for looking so anxious.

McGonagall shook her head and said, a little more briskly than she had intended. "Miss Granger I wouldn't tell you if I didn't want to."

Hermione was a little taken back both by the renewed use of her surname and also by the strict tone that she'd just been spoken to in and so didn't respond. Instead she just sat and had a sip of hot chocolate, refusing to look up at McGonagall and feeling a little hurt.

McGonagall took one look at Hermione's face and felt dreadful. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I appreciate your concern I'm just... finding this very difficult. That, however, is not your fault, so I am genuinely very sorry. What I said though is true; please don't feel that you are making me do anything. If I hadn't wanted to tell you I could have left it. I... I don't understand why but I'm finding myself wanting to confide these details of my life to you. It's just that these are aspects of my personal life that I have never allowed anyone to know about and so I am at a bit of a loss. Not helped I'll admit by the fact that I cannot help but berate myself for being so unprofessional. These are not matters that you should be burdened with."

"If I felt that they would be a burden to me then I wouldn't have asked you" Hermione replied having finally found her voice again.

McGonagall nodded.

"So, if you're ready...?" Hermione knew that she needed to lead the older witch a little.

"When I was at school I met a man, boy really."

Hermione raised her eyebrows.

"No not Albus, someone else. I was the year older than he was, we were in different houses and, if I'm honest, we hated one another. At least we did until in my fifth year when we ended up having a particularly bad argument which resulted in a kiss."

Hermione couldn't help but grin a little.

McGonagall couldn't stop herself smiling back a little. "Yes when it started it was very... passionate." At this point Hermione couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing. McGonagall tried to be stern but failed as she said "Miss Granger that was not what I meant, I was sixteen at the time but he was about a month from fifteen." She tried to ignore Hermione's smirk and continue, but she was still smiling as she went on. "For a while it was good, very good. He was a perfect gentleman despite what I'd expected of him. Most of the teachers knew and were pleased, we were, if you'll excuse my lack of modesty, two of the best students they'd seen in many years and so seemed to everyone an obvious pairing - house differences aside. They were all pleased that was, other than Albus."

Hermione waited for a moment wondering where this was going. McGonagall had stopped to have a sip of her Firewhiskey and Hermione suspected that up until now she'd only really been introducing the story.

"The reasons that we'd hated one another are difficult to explain, not least because there was no specific reason for it. Like Albus I just had a very bad feeling about him, I could tell that beneath his good manners and the fact he was very charismatic there was... something else. A darker side shall we say. Unfortunately however, it was probably partly that that drew my teenage self to him."

Hermione wasn't smiling anymore. She didn't know where this story was going but she could tell now, even more than when McGonagall had started, that it was not somewhere good.

For her part McGonagall was starting to struggle. It had been easy enough to start with. Well not easy as such as she'd felt utterly embarrassed talking about her relationship at that age, but that was still preferable to the rest of the story. However now she had started there was nothing for it; she was going to have to continue.

"Anyway in my sixth year, as you know, I started doing the same course as you are now. Albus, as the only professor that had done it, was left in charge of teaching me. We became very close, much as we are now I would say. Anyway the long and short of it was that after a very long time of putting up with many things that I shouldn't have, in the middle of my seventh year I ended my current relationship. It was... not the easiest of break ups and I turned a lot to Albus for comfort."

McGonagall was now feeling thoroughly awkward and yet she knew the worse was still to come. Whilst she had been talking Hermione had slid down the sofa so that they were now sitting directly next to one another. Part of her didn't like the invasion of her space; but the other part appreciated the silent gesture of support.

"I slowly began to fall for him" McGonagall could feel herself becoming increasingly embarrassed and picked up the pace of her story as to get it over with as soon as possible. "Once I had nearly finished my seventh year I finally admitted it and we became a couple, then following the end of my formal education at Hogwarts I decided to remain on as a teacher. At the same time Grindelwald, I'm sure you're aware of him?"

Hermione nodded; her mental state being presently somewhere between confusion and shock.

"He was beginning to rise up at a worrying speed and Albus was being pestered by the Ministry to do something about it. However for a couple of reasons, unknown to me at the time, he was very reluctant to do so. One of them is a personal matter relating to Albus and is irrelevant to this story. The other..." McGonagall hesitated, this was harder than she'd ever imagined it would be, however although struggling a little to speak she continued.

"Albus eventually caved in to the pressure and went after Grindelwald. I was young, foolish and in love and so followed him. There was a battle and I managed to nearly get myself killed. Thankfully Albus managed to overpower him and won the duel. Not wanting anyone to know what I'd done I begged Albus to keep my presence at the battle between us, and as far as I'm aware he's been as good as his word."

Hermione had so many questions at that point but not wanting to interrupt simply nodded.

"When we returned however Albus' behaviour with me became very strange. He... Well we'd gone from having a very passionate relationship to one where we were not intimate at all. Eventually I decided I could stand it no longer, found him alone in his classroom and practically threw myself at him." McGonagall was well aware that she was now a deep shade of red but hurriedly continued. "He rejected my advances to begin with but eventually gave in. It was only when he took my robes off and saw the scars that were now etched along my left side and part of my back that he stopped."

The room was deadly silent as McGonagall continued.

"He... He turned away from me and then... He told me that the reason that he hadn't wanted to go after Grindelwald, well one of the reasons, had been that..." McGonagall couldn't say it. She was now shaking a little and Hermione prized the Firewhiskey out of her hand before it got spilt.

"You can stop..." Hermione began but McGonagall quickly shook her head at her and then tried to compose herself.

"He told me that he'd been in love with Grindelwald and that he still was. Seeing him had reminded him of that. I'd been nothing but a last ditch attempt to convince himself that he could have a relationship with a woman but that he couldn't do it to either of us anymore. He ended our relationship there and then while we lay half dressed on his desk."

Tears were now spilling from McGonagall eyes and Hermione quickly put her arms around the older witch. "I... I'm so sorry."

McGonagall nodded, pulled a handkerchief from the pocket of her dressing gown, and blew her nose. "I'm sorry I'm being foolish."

"You're not at all; no wonder your relationship with Professor Dumbledore is strained... Though there's one thing I don't understand?"

"Go on" McGonagall's voice was barely above a whisper.

"The reason that... It had nothing to do with your scars."

McGonagall found herself smiling gently at Hermione. "I'm sure it certainly didn't help. But I haven't yet finished my story which may answer your question a little better."

Hermione smiled softly back and took hold of McGonagall's hand with her free one, squeezing it tightly. Given strength by this small show of affection McGonagall began again.

"I left Hogwarts and didn't return until around five years later. When I returned nothing was said about what had happened previously and we returned to having the very close friendship we'd had previous to our romantic affair. However I do admit I was a little cautious, afraid that if we became too close some of my former feelings would return. However despite that, as I said, we became very close. Then the first war happened... If anything it made us closer and despite my apprehension about the scars I had got in previous battles when I became injured Albus was the first person that I went to. However by then we had Pomfrey and so she quickly took over my care. Albus was rather disappointed I think, he's always loved to be the hero."

Hermione smiled, amused to hear Professor Dumbledore spoken about in this way, forgetting in that moment, the rest of the story that she'd just heard. After pausing for a second to chuckle to herself about her old friend McGonagall continued.

"Anyway the battle continued and you more than most are aware of what happened next. He who should not be named went after Harry and as a result he was, for the time being, defeated. I was there in fact when Harry was brought by Hagrid to his Aunt and Uncle's house. Afterwards I went back to Hogwarts and Albus... Actually I'm not sure where Albus went. However it wasn't all that long before he too returned to Hogwarts." McGonagall hesitated here. This was where all of this had been leading and yet now she was here it felt... wrong almost.

"Hermione before I continue I... I need to know that what I am about to tell you must not leave this room, but more than that I do not want it to colour your opinion of him. Albus is a great wizard and a great man."

Hermione gave a quick nod and McGonagall went on.

"I had never seen him as he had been that night when he returned. I do not know what had taken place in the time since I had last seen him but... He came to find me in my office and before I knew what had happened I was against the wall and he was kissing me as he hadn't done in... A very long time." Her voice was shaking now and Hermione squeezed down on her hand again. "He started pulling at my robes, tearing the front of them to get them off me. I... I was trying to stop him but without a wand..."

Hermione was hardly breathing. "He..." She couldn't even say it.

McGonagall could no longer look at Hermione; tears were freely flowing down her face as she shook her head. "No, and he never would have done. I think, although we've never spoken about it, that he was just trying to prove a point to himself, prove that it was women that he wanted. But on realising how difficult it would be to get my robe off any other way he had started trying to pull it up instead..."

By this point she was unreservedly crying, forgetting that she'd been trying to hold it together, not wanting to fall apart in front of Hermione; no longer caring. After years of not talking about everything that had happened suddenly recalling it had emotionally broken her. Unable to finish her story vocally she carefully pulled her dressing gown and nightdress up to the top of her leg on her left side, revealing a mass of scars over her outer left thigh.

It was that moment that everything became clear. Hermione, acting again on instinct, lifted McGonagall's chin with her hand no longer caring about boundaries. When she spoke it was gentle. "And that was when he stopped..."

"Yes"

Both of them fell silent, and it was a very long time before either of them would speak again that evening.

I can honestly say that was the hardest chapter to write so far. I didn't want to have McGonagall too out of character but at the same time she was talking about something that she'd never spoken about before so she was going to find it very very difficult. I just hope I did it justice...

Please guys KEEP REVIEWING. :P Honestly I want to see my gmail inbox EXPLODE. ;) Tell me I'm wonderful, tell me you hate me, tell me to stop leaving you on cliff hangers, tell me what you think my new name should be, just talk to me. ;) :P

On that note I'm going to try and get some more written before bed and you might (but I'm not making any promises :P) get another part at some point tomorrow morning. :P

Love to you all! :)

Chelsey x