Chapter 11: Christmas eve.
Harry for his part was starting to wonder if this Christmas was a recipe for disaster. If he should just have though things through a bit more. And not act on sheer emotions and his usual recklessness for once in his fucking life. But what was done was done. The owl was send and tomorrow Ron would wake up to make Christmas eve dinner for all of them. But of course the Christmas eve dinner would be nothing compared to going to the burrow to meet absolutely everyone the next day. It was dread full. He was curios to the fact of why Draco seemed more worried about meeting solely with Ron and Hermione than with the rest of the Wesley's on Christmas day. He would latter find out that what worried him most was Ron and how much he hated him (and to be honest harry could not deny it was true) because Ginny was understanding; and if anyone could get what was happening it was her. Gorge well he didn't speak much anymore. And he didn't have the strength to give a single fuck even if he did show up at Christmas witch he normally never did at all. Percy didn't have much reason to hate him more than a casual person would and he was prepared for that. as for bill and fleur. He was slightly more worried, but deep down new they didn't have it in them to hate him as much. Mr and Ms Wesley's would as always be lovely and in fact everyone in the world seemed to be perplexed but their inexhaustible kindness. And new that molly if anyone would also with a mothers love in a motherly way understand. Bill and his boyfriend a fellow co worker; who had also helped bill bring the dragons into the war would most likely sympathise. Teddy was to young still to understand. And Andromeda had been in Draco shoes a long time ago. And so it was Ron left. The major worry was him. And neither harry nor Draco could ignore this fact.
But it was overdue and so Christmas eve rolled around and the dreaded moment came. And Draco and harry knocked on the door harry was greeted with hugs and hellos form and exited and slightly anxious Hermione Draco could tell. And not many kind words where exchanged. Between them. Draco the pulled her aside and as he had planed made things right and tried in his best of power to apologise. To tell her how sorry he was for being so mean to her and treating her so bad. She took the apology to heart but couldn't still forgive him at all. And she probably never would but for Draco that was enough.
In the mean time harry was in the kitchen with Ron. "so is he here" he had said as he crossed the door harry noodled. "I would really appreciate you to be civil please; he is already had quite enough" "I sincerely doubt it" was Ron's reply "please Ron it already hard enough as it it" "well it was already hard enough for you harry back then; and what did he do but only make everything worse" Ron replied letting fully show how not okay he was with this hole situation. "I mean harry; in all sincerity I don't understand you; must you always be the hero. Must you always forgive and pity" "I don't pity him, let that be clear Ron, but yes indeed I must forgive, when where just children Ron" "and so; just let it be known I don't trust him, but If you will and only for you and because Hermione asked me profoundly I will do my best to maintain civility" "and that would be more than enough" harry replied leaving him in the kitchen to join Draco in the living room. Who seemed mesmerised looking at the little toddler playing in front of him.
"I must not lie to you; he its very happy about your presence" harry told Draco sitting next to him. Of Course Draco new this already Harry then left him to help around the house, after a bit Hermione came into the living room and sat opposed to Draco with rose on her lap. Rocking her back and forth. The little girl laughed and exclaimed in joy. Draco couldn't help but smile.
"so how is the job going" she broke the silence.
"it is really amazing if I might say so" he replied "I'm really grateful for the opportunity; I never though I would get any job after well everything" she smiled empathetically; she had emotion drown on her face Draco could quite decipher.
"and your mother; how is she doing"
"better; it hast been easy of course, with Lucius (Draco refused to call him father) being in Azkaban for live and all" Hermione looked at him attentively while still balancing rose on her leg "but I think deep down she is glad to be doing something; I think she would go insane if she wasn't" the though of asking Hermione about her family coursed Draco's mind but he though it was best to keep of the subject for now. Harry came into the room a few seconds later.
"oh harry; I was just talking to Draco about his mother." Hermione said as he walked into the room. "so anyways; will you be spending any of the holidays with her" she inquired insecurely.
"probably new years but I'm not really sure if I want to see her yet and she is currently at the manor and I don't feel ready to go back there" he said.
Harry noticed Draco was uncomfortable so he direct the conversation else where "talking about it; how are your parent doing mione" "o great; actually I don't know if I told you but they are traveling form Australia tonight to join us for Christmas at the burrow tomorrow." "that is great mione I haven't seen them in ages" harry exclaimed. "will you be joining us tomorrow" she said looking at Draco. "yes he will" harry answer for him, Draco couldn't help but notice a sort of concerned frown drew in Hermione features. But she brushed it of as fast as it had appeared. "very well; ill go see if Ron needs anything" she said and stood up putting rose back on the floor"
"well that wasn't half as bad as it could have been" harry sat on the floor in front of rose "indeed it wasn't" Draco said "do you think she is worried ill do anything to her parents tomorrow; because it sure seemed like it" Draco asked after a while "I don't know, I doubt she really is, she is probably just scared a bit; its hard to let go of the constant worrying; but she means no harm to you I'm sure she cant help it that is all" harry comforted him. Draco just sighted.
A few minute where spent in silence before Hermione called them all to dinner. The conversation was mostly carried; by Hermione and harry; Draco and Ron both participating as little as possible. They didn't exchange a single world in the hole lasting of the meal. Harry didn't know if it was for best of for worse.
After dinner, Ron took upon the the task of taking care of rose who was getting increasingly more irritated. By the minute. And so in the mean time harry took up courage and decided it was time to speak to Hermione. So she took her to the side.
"mione, can I talk to you" of course she had positively replied and had been a little concerned. So they went into one of the rooms "please don't get upset about what I'm going to tell you" Hermione tried to speak but harry looked at her like telling her to let him finish and so she did " I take it you are smart enough to know what is going on all ready; and I beg you to understand; I know he was mean to you; that he treated you like garbage that he shouldn't be forgiven; but he was just a child as where you and I mione, he dint have a choice as I didn't have" a silent tear rolled down Harry's cheek and his voice stared to crack "but, and I know how stupid he feels, he understands me mione. And I cant help it, I need him" he finally said Hermione didn't say a world she hugged him, confused by her own emotions. Of course she wasn't dumb she had suspected it. An it was over due especially after the spectacle harry played the last summer But she wasn't sure how to feel. Could she ever really forgive him she didn't know, but she resulted that it it helped harry to have him, like it did to her to have Ron and rose, then it didn't matter who she felt about him. Instead she transmitted the reassurance harry needed in that hug. And it was done. Know she new. Harry breathed.
After a few minutes they joined back Draco on the living room who was waiting impatiently. Harry nodded to him. And he smiled. Hermione looked at him. "take care of him will you, he can be a bit of a mess sometimes" she said Draco smiled with relief. " oh trust me I know" Hermione laughed "I don't think you do yet really, but if you get sick of him ill have him back" she said teasingly and left to organise stuff in the kitchen.
One down; the rest of the world to go harry thought to himself as he sat on the floor; Draco sat on the couch behind him and ran his hands though his hair. Harry dint know if he was ready for what had to come next. So in silent agreement he encouraged Draco to make small talk with Ron as he re entered the room. And left to check in with Hermione. Who was in the kitchen. They stood in silence for a while Hermione presumably still processing. " he is not going to like it" she finally said "I know mione I know, but what am I to do" "I don't know harry for one time I don't; don't do it know it is to much let it flow naturally and you will know when the time is right, perhaps never perfect; because it will never be; but the best it can be" she told him reflectively. Harry took does worlds to heart and new she was as always right. And he new today wasn't the night.
They headed back to the living room. But didn't go in. to much of their surprise of both it seemed that they where talking to each other. So they made no sound to not interrupt. And listened. Harry at fist though they where fighting but it didn't seem so. "she hasn't shut up it; and it all your fault" said Ron harry was ready to interrupt when he said "all I've hear is about you coming to the burrow tomorrow you know" harry heard Ron say "why" he hear Draco replied. "I suppose because she doesn't understand why you would" Ron said "she seems sad in a way; you know your family being broken, more broken than our at least" "my family has always been broken" Draco replied " it reminds me of how she acted whit harry before you know" Ron said; seemed to harry with out fully realising it. Then there was silence; a really long awkward silence, harry waited to see if they would say anything else but he didn't. so he and Hermione nodded and entered.
She sat next to Ron. And smirked an whispered something in his ear. He smiled. And kissed her. He seemed to whisper something back; it was a bit awkward but harry was used to it by this point. They seemed to be discussing something.
Hermione finally spoke up. "harry we have something to tell you; we where going to tell everyone tomorrow but; I think you deserve to know first." She said "harry didn't understand "and well I suppose you two since you are here" said Ron dryly he was obviously not to exited about his presence at the moment but Hermione was so happy he didn't care and he loved her so much that was all that mattered. "so anyway" said Hermione ignoring Ron's comment WE ARE HAVING ANOTHER BABY" she finally said harry was really happy for them and his heart filled with glee. He exclaimed and congratulated them. Draco did so a bit lest enthusiastically but still genuinely as he could. The rest of the night involved Hermione talking about it. And about how exited she was to tell everyone tomorrow. And so on an on. After a while harry and Draco left tanked them for everything and went back to Harrys apartment.
Harry, worrying all the time about being seen. Harry was satisfied whit how the evening had gone and so it seemed to him that Draco was too still he couldn't help but wonder if he would ever have what Hermione and Ron had; a home with a child and a normal life; maybe he wasn't cut out for it. It had never been his destiny in any sense. Could he ever achieve not being the boy how lived for once. He new this was why Draco made him feel good; he felt he could scape his persona whit him and Draco felt it too ; but deep down he new it was never the same. Even if he tried. He found Draco also laid awake presumably thinking as he was, harry always though that if he made it through the war, he would just marry Ginny and become an un happy auror committed to a love less marriage to a girl he used to love and a job he hated but everyone though he would be great at. And it would be all right normal. And he would have few kids and maybe a secret problem with alcohol and that would be it. But life wasn't always what you expected. He sighted. "are you awake" he whispered.
Draco rolled over and locked at him mmhh he groaned. "do you think will ever achieve normal" harry said Draco half smiled sleepily "nothing about this is normal nothing about about harry potter is" harry was surprised he was using potter he hadn't in a while "but perhaps it is better like that; wouldn't it be boring if it where" harry though about it "I just want to feel like I have a place in the world, not like I am always above it" he said "or below it" said Draco a few minutes passed " I think this is my place right now" Draco reflected "the only place where I fit in this crazy world is here" he said finally harry reflected upon his worlds for a moment,
perhaps he was right, here and now it felt okay it felt right and over whelming felling took over him as he looked into his eyes. "I love you" he said, the words slipping unconsciously of his lips, like they where eager to scape Draco was caught of guard he could believe his ears. His heart jumped on his chest, and he new in that moment that he loved him to and so he pulled him closed and whispered in his ear "I know you do" classic Draco harry though and yet he knew that what does words really meant he smiled to himself his head buried in Draco's chest felling each others breathing he drifted into peaceful sleep. Draco laid awake for while after that. he felt harry falling asleep so peace full so quiet, he looked so young so at peace. And he knew it was right he felt it. He too searched for a sense of normality. And hadn't ever found it until then, he laid awake letting himself indulge in the warm felling in his chest. In the sound of his breathing and in the softens of his hair. Not believing his scenes for one second. Harry potter had told him he loved him. He feel asleep a while later, with the cheerful though that he would get to tease him forever. After all he had said it first.