The sun had set an hour ago, the air adopting the slightest chill as he made his way down the sidewalks of the Lower East Side. Sasuke wasn't in this area often, but he'd needed to see his dentist. His dentist found it prudent to chide him for the umpteenth time regarding his tongue and lip piercings, since he'd seen them damage teeth before. Never mind the fact that Sasuke's teeth were flawless despite him being pierced a decade ago.
Yes, he always took care to inform everyone that their jewelry should fit properly, and it must be in the optimal place to avoid irritation to the gums and teeth. Far too many people wore tongue studs that were far too long. Who did this guy think he was talking to? But Sasuke didn't care enough to debate, especially given that the more frequently he spoke, the longer he'd be in there. He put in his earbuds, listened to some rock music, and tuned it all out.
As Sasuke's teeth were yet again flawless, he was sent on his way. He walked through the borough's trendy shops, catered toward people in their early 20's. Groups flocked to the outdoor seating of the many bars and trendy restaurants, leaving laughter behind as Sasuke passed them. A bohemian vibe pulsed through the neighborhood, and there were plenty of nightclubs that would be open until ungodly parts of the morning. Sasuke wondered why Shikamaru would even live here, given that he could be such an introvert.
A visit was long overdue, so while he was in the area, it made sense to stop by. He wrapped on the red door in a punctuated rhythm. It was an old beat that the two of them had known since childhood.
Several ten seconds passed. Twenty.
"Oi! Get your ass up here!" he shouted.
After much more rustling, a pale, lanky man opened the door, his head sporting a spiky bun. His jeans were a size too big, and he wore a simple black T-shirt. Remarkably, the small, black goatee on his chin was impeccably groomed. A cigarette drooped between his lips.
"Hey Sasuke…" the other man answered.
Both took their hands back, giving each other a horizontal high five followed by a fist bump with perfect fluidity.
"What the fuck, Shika?"
Shikamaru sighed, "I was in the middle of something. And dude, how long's it been? A month? That's bullshit."
Shikamaru had been Sasuke's best friend for no less than twenty years. They'd go months, sometimes almost half a year without seeing each other, but when they did, it was exactly like old times.
"Whose fault is that?" Sasuke asked, rolling his eyes. "Your lazy ass won't come to my house."
Shikamaru wouldn't bother to make excuses. Sasuke would see right through them.
"I don't know why I put up with you."
"I'm constantly lazy," Shikamaru said was a carefree shrug. "You're constantly a pissy little bitch. It evens out."
Shikamaru knew that he was one of, if not possibly the only, person in the world who could get away with speaking to Sasuke like that without losing some blood.
"Whatever…"
Sasuke took a few steps into Shikamaru's apartment. It was good enough. It was a slight bit larger and nicer than Naruto's place, but next to Sasuke's, it looked like a shack. Sasuke kicked an empty pizza box out of the way as he walked towards the dining room table. A steady level of clutter had accumulated throughout the house, and it would do well with a bit of dusting. The apartment smelled of cigarettes.
"How can you live like this?"
"You're so dramatic. This isn't out of the norm for a bachelor," Shikamaru said, taking another hit off of his cigarette. "I'm not that messy. You're just anal."
Truthfully, it was a bit of both.
"Some luck you'll have with Temari, taking her home to this."
"Hey…" Shikamaru mumbled. "We're not dating. We're just friends."
"And you'll be 'just friends' forever if you don't make a move soon. Watching you two together makes me want to vomit."
"I'm biding my time."
Sasuke raised both brows at Shikamaru, as if to ask, "Are you serious right now?" It'd been the same song and dance for almost a year.
"I'm too sober for your bullshit. Hit me with the juice."
Shikamaru chuckled under his breath, taking out some Crown Royal and placing in two small glasses with a few ice cubes. He topped it off with some cherry Cola.
Shikamaru joined Sasuke at the table. An ashtray sat between them, filled with a minimum of twenty cigarette butts. Shikamaru had finished his cigarette, fishing through his pack for another.
"Want a smoke?" Shikamaru asked extending his pack to Sasuke.
"Not today."
He preferred menthol, and he was trying to cut back. Shikamaru nodded and lit his cigarette in a quick motion. There was a moment of silence between them and then, as if synchronized, they both took a sip of their drinks.
"So, what've you been up to?" Sasuke asked, idly looking into his beverage.
Shikamaru shrugged.
"Eh… You know. Got some work over the past few weeks. It was very urgent."
Shikamaru was a freelance hacker. Sasuke didn't know what exactly that entailed, nor did he feel compelled to ask. Whatever Shikamaru chose to reveal was good enough for him. Sasuke trusted him not to do anything reckless.
"I lived in front of my computer, surviving off of pizza deliveries and Big Macs."
"Sooner or later, your body's going to shit out on you from that alone, not even mentioning your three packs a day."
Shikamaru sighed. Sasuke hadn't been the first person to chide him about this, but he was one of the most persistent.
"I'm almost down to two."
Sasuke clucked his tongue.
"I'm going to backhand you when you get lung cancer."
"How sweet of you."
"You think I don't mean it?" Sasuke contended, raising his brows.
Shikamaru chuckled, shaking his head.
"I know damned well you mean it. So, what's up with you?"
Sasuke took a sip of his drink, exhaling and peering down through the dark amber-colored liquid.
"Work."
"Mn…"
They sat together in silence for a few seconds, both of them entirely comfortable with it. Shikamaru rested his head on his hand, elbow on the table.
"No highlights, huh?" Shikamaru asked, tilting his head. Appearing to remember something, Shikamaru gave a mild chuckle. "Oh, what about that Marine who fainted in the parlor? Any antics from him?"
Shikamaru had remembered that? He'd only spoken about Naruto casually and hadn't even mentioned his name. When he'd last spoken to Shikamaru, he'd only taken Naruto out to lunch once, right after he passed out.
"Ah…"
Shikamaru was like a fucking hawk, and Sasuke hated him for this sometimes. It took only the slightest bit of hesitation before Shikamaru's cigarette stilled. Sasuke took a sip of his drink, because Shikamaru's stare was downright creepy. Shikamaru's eyes widened.
"Wait… You're… Oh god, are you two fucking?"
Sasuke choked on his drink, feeling it almost go up his nose. How the hell had Shikamaru come to that conclusion? Not that it was necessarily surprising… There was a reason that people called him a genius.
Sasuke slapped his fist against his chest, coughing before his drink went down. Sasuke's nose was burning, and Shikamaru was shaking his head and laughing. What a dick.
"Man… With a customer? How dangerous."
God, he hated it when Shikamaru pulled stuff like this.
"It just...evolved."
"Yeah, I hate it when that happens," Shikamaru sighed. "One minute it's all business, then all of the sudden your clothing evaporates into thin air, and you're somehow balls deep in the guy. Happens all the time."
Sasuke huffed, rolling his eyes and looking off to the side.
"Fuck off."
Shikamaru laughed again.
"Can't believe you got with the guy who fainted in your parlor. How did he redeem himself from that?"
Sasuke simply shrugged.
"I was bored."
"You're not usually so daring."
This was true. Sasuke had fucked around plenty. Throughout his adulthood, his interest in the scene had waxed and waned. He'd had more than a few play partners, though they were generally nothing more than acquaintances. He met them through munches, friends, dungeons... As long as he was attracted to them, they pleased him, and they practiced safe sex, that was good enough for him.
He'd once engaged in a committed relationship in at the age of thirteen. It was driven, largely, by hormones. He was inexperienced, and the idea of an open relationship had never occurred to him. Sticking to a single person seemed to be the way it was done, at least by everyone he knew. He stuck with the formula, and it failed within months. It was nothing worth remembering; he emerged unscathed but with a few hassles to contend with. Other than the sex, Sasuke found no redeeming aspects in that troublesome endeavor.
As an adult, he shunned committed relationships. His play partners knew that Sasuke cared about them hardly more than he'd care about a stranger, and in most cases, that disregard was reciprocated. Sasuke never had to buy flowers or remember Valentine's Day. There were no hurt feelings when Sasuke wouldn't call for months on end. No one expected him to make himself vulnerable. He depended on no one, and no one depended on him. It was simple, and everything was played by ear.
And each new partner allowed him to push his limits farther than the last. Each came with their own kinks, with a new tolerance for pain. With unique potentials for both masochism and sadism.
There was nothing wrong with this. Sure, sex could make endorphins range like waterfalls; given the kind of sex Sasuke was accustomed to, it would more accurately be compared to a tidal wave. Blindfolds, welted skin, cuffs, blood, angry red scratches down his back, sex swings, suspension, electricity, dripping wax… The list went on. But that did not, in itself, bring intimacy. That was prescribed by society, and Sasuke had never been one to fear moving against the grain.
But Shikamaru was right; doing this with a customer was new entirely to Sasuke. It was reckless. He also wasn't used to all of this vanilla sex. It was nostalgic, almost. Before meeting Naruto, he would have thought that this would bore him, after all of the things he'd tried and how daring his appetite was. He'd toned himself down for Naruto's sake. Despite all of that, he enjoyed it just as much, if not more. The way this satisfied him was just...different, in a way he couldn't fully explain.
And if the vanilla sex hadn't been enough to put him on snooze, what of all their talking? Their long conversations? For Christ's sake, they'd only had penetrative sex once, yet Sasuke looked forward to every time he'd see Naruto. It was uncharacteristic on his part, and clearly Shikamaru had realized this.
"From the moment I met him, his infatuation was painfully obvious. He wasn't too bad himself. He offered to teach me how to play the guitar, which… It doesn't take a genius to predict how that would end."
"How romantic," Shikamaru mocked.
Sasuke sighed.
"He wasn't half bad at it actually. If it were anyone else, I would've thought the whole thing was an attempt to get in my pants."
"Anyone else?"
Sasuke could read his friend far too easily. Sasuke knew exactly what he was doing, but even that wasn't enough to stop Shikamaru. Sasuke would give him an answer regardless.
"Yeah, he's old-fashioned. A romantic run by his heart."
In fact, Sasuke thought, Naruto would do well to let his brain take the helm sometimes.
"I see," Shikamaru said, tilting his head. "Sounds problematic. What are you going to do?"
Sasuke read into Shikamaru's words perfectly. Sasuke hadn't been on what would call a "date" in years. Sasuke never wanted for sexual contact. He hadn't expected this to become something else.
"Nothing," Sasuke answered, frowning. "His unit is deploying to Afghanistan in a couple weeks. So much for that."
Shikamaru said nothing. Sasuke could feel his eyes study him. It made Sasuke want to slap him.
"You seem bummed. He must have been awfully fun."
Sasuke simply shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. Was his disappointment so obvious?
Naruto had been fun. But it wasn't just about fun anymore.
"He's...really set on me. He hasn't said it, but I think he's in love."
Shikamaru rested his cigarette in the ashtray, widening his eyes as he pulled his head back for a moment.
"Wow."
Even speaking about this was uncomfortable. Sasuke treated most everything with dexterity and grace, but intimacy was a new frontier for him. And when he did become close with others, it was a slow process that took years and trial by fire.
If Shikamaru had not been there for Sasuke so many times throughout his life, their bond would have never been possible. Even his staff at the Grip had barely made it past his periphery.
Yet Naruto tried to move so quickly. The worst part about this was that even if only a little, it was working.
"Yeah…" Sasuke answered, shifting in his seat. "He wants to wait for me."
"How do you feel about this whole thing?"
Sasuke took his time before responding, and even then, he only looked at his glass.
"It's unrealistic. We're going to be apart for months, maybe even years. He keeps saying that he just knows that he's right about me."
"He sounds like your polar opposite."
Sasuke found himself growing more animated. He hadn't spoken to anyone about this, but the entire thing was ludicrous.
But if it was so ludicrous, why did he find himself caring so much?
"That's what I was thinking. We get along well, but a couple can be married for thirty years and still divorce. How can he be so sure when we've known each other for barely a month? He acts like a naive teenager. I don't understand him."
Sasuke felt Shikamaru's eyes analyze him. It made him feel uncomfortable.
"Stop looking at me."
"Sort of difficult to avoid when you're talking to me."
"You know what I mean."
Shikamaru knew exactly what he meant. Sasuke could practically hear the gears turning in his brain. Shikamaru's stare felt like an invasion of privacy. It had been a while since Shikamaru had looked at him that way.
"So, what now?"
Sasuke sighed.
"He says he's going to wait for me, but he doesn't expect me to wait for him. He's been clear that he doesn't expect me to commit. When he gets back, I suppose we'll play it by ear."
"What a delicate position he's put himself in."
Sasuke didn't bother to frown. He knew this too well. He related to Naruto. He even felt his pain, and empathy was never Sasuke's strong suit. He knew which of his smiles were real, and which were fake. And the brilliancy of Naruto's most genuine smiles warmed Sasuke to his core.
Sasuke didn't worry about himself. Cutting ties was one of the things Sasuke did best. But Naruto… Naruto was the type to never let go. He was earnest, honorable, wholesome, and far too naive. When he loved, he did so without restraint, as if he'd never been hurt, despite the obstacles that stood in the way.
It was foolish.
"I get the feeling that doing things that will get him more invested would only be cruel. I wouldn't move farther away. But I also don't think I should be getting closer given that we're about to separate."
"Would this be for his sake? Or for yours?"
"His. I'm bulletproof, and I like hanging with him. I'm fine with whatever. But he's about to go into something really grueling, with way too much time to think. The last thing he needs is to obsess over me."
That stare again.
"Do you believe he's weak?"
"No," Sasuke answered without an instant's hesitation.
In fact, Naruto seemed to be the opposite.
"Then don't hold back and do what feels right. Naruto can make his own decisions. He knows what he needs, both here and over there, and he knows the risks. Don't take that agency away from him."
Sasuke frowned.
And when shit gets rough, it's that desire, that hope that keeps you moving, step after step. And when I'm over there, it'll be that hope that gets me through.
That's what Naruto had told him, just days ago.
That's a risk I'm willing to take. The good things in life don't come from playing it safe. You know that.
Christ… Was Shikamaru right about this? If Sasuke walled himself off for Naruto's sake, it would be like taking Naruto's decision away from him. As unrealistic as Sasuke found Naruto's expectations to be, those words stuck with him.
"Could you ever imagine yourself being in a relationship with him?"
"I couldn't imagine myself being in a relationship with anyone."
In all honesty, it was not the way he operated. He did like Naruto. He was the only person who'd made Sasuke even consider such an arrangement, but Sasuke knew himself better than anyone else did. He was not a good person. There were things that he just wasn't capable of; he was fine with that. He'd gotten this far without it.
"If he forgot about you while he was gone, and you never saw him again, would you be okay with that?"
Sasuke adjusted himself in his seat, sucking on his lip piercing.
"I'd be fine."
"Hm…" Shikamaru muttered, resting his chin on his interlocked hands. Sasuke glared at Shikamaru as their eyes met. "Before he leaves, I'd like to meet him."
"What?" Sasuke asked, somewhat disbelieving. "Why?"
Shikamaru was the reclusive sort. He'd never shown any interest in meeting Sasuke's friends before, unless he viewed them as a threat for some reason.
"It could be my last chance for a long time."
Sasuke would've thought that Shikamaru wanted to size Naruto up, but Shikamaru knew Sasuke well enough to know that he could take care of himself.
"You're acting suspicious. You've never asked to meet any of my friends or lovers before."
Was Shikamaru sizing Naruto up? How unnecessary.
"You're the one acting suspicious. Why do you care?"
"I don't care. But your sudden interest doesn't sit well with me."
"Jesus, Sasuke," Shikamaru sighed, resting his face in his hand. "It really is not that complicated. This guy might be sticking around. So let's grab lunch together or something."
Sasuke cast Shikamaru one of the most skeptical glares he was capable of, his arms crossed.
"Fine, but we're not coming to your house. Unlike you, he doesn't live in a pigsty."
"Alright. Deal."
"And please, try not to be too embarrassing."
"So, two more sessions?"
Naruto was manning the register, while Kiba shouted over the coffee grinder as he prepared what could have easily been his hundredth cup for the day. Both of them were wearing branded aprons.
"I'll have a vanilla latte," the woman in front of him spoke.
"You got it, miss! One vanilla latte, comin' up!" Naruto said with a huge grin.
Naruto hated the way his eyes looked, with dark circles so deep. Sleep hadn't come easily to him lately. Naruto was fine with hurting; he just didn't like to show it. To compensate, he tried to make his smile more convincing.
He'd get back to Kiba now.
"Yeah, two more."
"Two espressos please."
Their shift was almost up. It could not come soon enough.
"Hey, where's my frappé?" an older woman asked him.
"It'll be out in just a couple minutes. Thanks for being so patient!"
That smile of his made the tips rain down. The woman's cross expression neutralized.
"Five more minutes, man," Kiba shouted out, his voice carrying a heavy Brooklyn accent.
They were almost free.
"That'll be $4.25, ma'am."
The woman fished through her wallet for her credit card.
Naruto endured the next several minutes, in the heat of the lunchtime rush. After what was five minutes too many, both of them were called off of duty. Luckily, the staff for the next shift was on time.
"Phew…" Kiba said, lifting his arms up and stretching them. "Shit, these lunch rushes never get easier. I've had to piss for two hours!"
"Dude, that sucks!"
"Yeah! Like the last ten minutes I was crossin' my legs, listening to the coffee slowly trickle into the cup. Drip. Drip. Drip."
Naruto laughed.
"Why'd you feel the need to tell me this?"
"Dude, you're the king of TMI. Shut up. I'm gonna go piss," Kiba said, cocking his head over to the restroom at the back of the shop. "When's your appointment?"
"I have to leave in ten minutes."
"Good, then I better see your ass out there when I'm done."
"Don't fall in."
Naruto sighed as he rested against the wall, trying not to allow his mind to wander. In what couldn't have been any longer than forty seconds, Naruto saw Kiba walk towards him. In that time, they'd both taken off their aprons.
"Hey again."
"That was fast," Naruto said, perking his brow.
"Yeah, well… When ya gotta go, ya gotta go."
"Jesus Christ. Like a racehorse."
"Yeah, I'm a regular champion," Kiba said, scratching behind his ear and taking a seat.
Naruto sat across from him, allowing his body to slump just slightly. He'd worked alongside Kiba for three years now at Mugs. He'd been the one to train him. The guy was loud, and never did more than an hour pass without Kiba trying to make Naruto the butt of a joke. Still, he could make the hours fly.
"So, you're seeing Mr. No Strings Attached after this?"
Plopping his head on the table, Naruto emitted a theatrical groan.
Naruto had told Kiba, in a very matter-of-fact way, that he wouldn't be at Mugs come a couple weeks. He hadn't expected Kiba to silence the way he did when Naruto told him the reason why. He didn't expect Kiba to pick up on the way his hands trembled, didn't expect him to take Naruto on a walk to calm his thoughts. Sure, they'd gone to bars together, acted as each other's wingman, and shared an uncountable number of joints; they were friends. But this was different.
Kiba followed through. He calmed Naruto down before he broke the news to Sasuke, and they hung out again the day after. Naruto hadn't expected to tell Kiba about Sasuke either, but one thing led to another. Besides, he'd always had Sakura to vent to before. Someone had to hear his rantings.
"Hey, you got this far with him, right? He even let you call him your boyfriend."
"Yeah…" Naruto said. "But Sasuke doesn't care about labels. It's intimacy that makes him nervous."
Kiba shrugged, leaning back in his chair.
"I don't know about him…" he sighed. "He could be telling you the truth when he says he thinks he can't maintain a relationship. If he hasn't had what he calls a 'real relationship' yet, there could be a reason why."
"I don't think he's making an excuse," Naruto said. "I think he really believes that."
"And you're trying to tell me that you know him better than he knows himself? That's bold."
"I know it sounds crazy," Naruto sighed. "But haven't you heard of couples who get married after knowing each other for like two months then stay together for the rest of their lives? It's rare, but it happens."
"Yeah, I know. Just don't get your hopes too high, and don't come on too strong. It might creep him out."
Naruto nodded, frowning.
"I was pretty clear that I don't expect commitment from him, but...I did come on strong. He seemed confused, but I don't think I scared him away either. Maybe I should say something to reassure him?"
Sasuke had seemed downright uncomfortable, actually.
"Couldn't hurt," Kiba said.
"I know this might not work out… But I really like him. And while I'm over there, I'm going to need all the hope I can get. Hope's...gotten me through a lot."
There was a pause for a few seconds. No, Kiba didn't know everything about Naruto's past. Naruto didn't want to talk about such depressing things with his friend. But for whatever reason, telling Sasuke seemed like second nature.
"I still can't believe you're leaving…" Kiba mumbled.
"Ha! You don't even know what to do with yourself without me, huh? Don't go lookin' like someone died or something. I'll be back in no time!"
Naruto didn't believe his own smile, but he felt it was necessary.
"I know this is askin' a lot because you don't have much between the ears, but…" Kiba trailed off, staring down at the table. "Be careful."
"Yeeeah, yeah," Naruto answered. "Save the lecture, Pops."
Kiba rolled his eyes.
"Welp, it's time. See ya tomorrow, man."
Naruto waved as he got up and walked away.
"Later!"
The instant he parted with Kiba, his mind switched tracks to Sasuke. He was glad to be going to The Grip, glad to be seeing him. Maybe it would stir up the emotions in him, make it so that not everything felt so gray. His friends helped, but Sasuke had a unique power over him.
He descended into a subway station, just barely catching the train before it left for its next stop. He now stood before the parlor. With a tingle of excitement and longing, he entered.
"Hey! Naruto!" Suigetsu called out immediately. He was tattooing a young man who couldn't have been any older than nineteen.
"Welcome back," Juugo said with a smile. He was manning the front desk.
"Hey guys!" Naruto replied, matching their enthusiasm. "It's been a while! How was the party?"
"Ohhh…" Suigetsu said with a grin on his face. "I wish Karin were out here to answer that."
"Huh?" Naruto gawked, his jaw slack. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Juugo merely snickered.
"Not a conversation for here. Maybe I'll tell you later."
Had Sasuke told the others that he was leaving? Sasuke had said that he'd never been in a "real" relationship. Was it out of the norm for Sasuke to invite his lover, if Naruto could call himself that, to hang out with his group? Would they ask where he was after he left for Afghanistan?
Was their friendliness an attempt to cheer him up? Did they feel sorry for him? Or had he become just a little closer to fitting into their group after he'd hung out with them a few nights ago?
He really hoped it was the latter.
Meanwhile, Sasuke sat in the back, silently watching Naruto with his arms crossed, sucking his lip piercing. Naruto approached him, a wide grin on his face. Naruto hadn't told Sasuke that he wanted a private room this time. That went without saying.
"Be back later," Sasuke said to the others, taking Naruto into the back door and closing it behind them.
Sasuke turned around to look at Naruto directly, whose smile had dulled considerably. A silent moment passed as they stood in front of each other. They hadn't seen each other since the day Naruto had given him the news. They'd both had time to think on it.
Naruto reached out and put his palm to Sasuke's cheek.
"May I?"
In response, Sasuke leaned forward, kissing him gently. Their tongues lazily connected, Sasuke's stud making the slightest clacking noise as it slid over Naruto's tongue and teeth. Somehow, a warmth made its way through the kiss and blunted the chill Naruto felt in his body these days.
Naruto felt awkward as he felt a soft moan escape from him, but Sasuke showed no hesitation. Naruto wrapped his arm around Sasuke's back, his fingers playing with the blue-tipped spikes on the back of his head. This was a warm and pure kiss, not born from lust.
When they parted, Sasuke showed no difficulty in looking into Naruto's eyes.
"How have you been?"
Sasuke's affection was a good sign. No, he hadn't scared him off.
"Ah…" Naruto laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "I've been trying to pretend that nothing major is different. My friends and I ate at a steakhouse the other night. We're not exactly made of cash, but... "
Naruto wanted to do these things while he still could. Sasuke seemed to understand.
"Was it worth it?"
"Yeah…" Naruto said, a slight smile on his face. "I don't get to treat myself much, so when I do, I really enjoy it. That steak was out of this world."
Naruto was fighting the urge to talk to Sasuke about that night. Kiba had a point. If he hit Sasuke with too much at once, it could put him on guard.
"You like steak?"
"Hah! Yeah," Naruto answered, grinning. "Certified carnivore."
Sasuke tsk'd.
"You seem like the sort to skip your vegetables."
"Aahhh," Naruto said sheepishly. "I can't argue with that."
"Okay, take your shirt off and lie down."
"Well, if you insist," Naruto answered, waggling his brows at Sasuke.
In one fluid motion, Naruto removed his shirt. Sasuke had everything set up for Naruto. He lay down, getting comfortable. In what seemed like no time, Naruto heard the buzz of the irons again. The pain, though slight, only reassured him now. It reminded him of his lover, and that made him feel safe.
It was a pain he hoped to remember in his dreams, as he fought on the other side of the planet.
"If you like steak so much, I can cook you one."
"Seriously?" Naruto answered, his enthusiasm shining through. "I'd love to eat your cooking! But you have to do it before I leave."
"Of course," Sasuke answered. "Might torture you while you're there though. You'll think of my steak more than you'll think of me."
Don't make a joke about missing the sausage. Do not make a joke about the sausage.
"This whole arrangement was an elaborate ploy to get you to feed me, by the way. You have those snooty-good-cook vibes. And you know how I feel about free food."
"Free food should be a religion."
Naruto laughed.
"As a little kid, I didn't get treated to buffets much, but when I did, I would always bring a bag and jam all sorts of shit in there. Pizza, breadsticks in my pocket… And of course, I'd walk out with an ice cream cone."
"You put breadsticks in your pants?" Sasuke asked, pausing his work for a moment. "You were a weird kid. Must've smelled like garlic."
"C'mon, you can't tell me you didn't do at least something like that."
"Pft," Sasuke answered with a snicker. "I went to my first sit down restaurant when I was twelve. We never went to a buffet. We couldn't afford that shit."
"Really? What about McDonalds?"
"If a meal cost more than $2 out the door, it was out of the question."
"I always thought my families were poor. Especially Tsunade."
And they had been what your standard person would consider poor. Sasuke just seemed to be on another level.
"Tsunade?"
"Yeah, she's the only one I stayed in touch with. She was my family out in California. She was having money troubles and had to give me up."
"Ah, I see."
"Yeah…" Naruto trailed off. "I mean, her jobs didn't pay well, and on top of that there was her gambling addiction."
Sasuke smirked.
"Sounds like some grade A parenting."
"She could be irresponsible," Naruto admitted. "But she cared, which was cool. I felt really safe and...ya know, wanted there."
"Sounds nice, despite it all."
Naruto paused. Not many would have called his childhood "nice" in any way. He did find himself missing Tsunade, sometimes. They'd call each other for birthdays and Christmases. He wished he could've visited her when he was out in California for Mojave Viper, but it left no room for anything but business.
"Yeah, that part wasn't so bad. Granny even cried when I left, though she tried not to show it."
"Granny?"
"Yeah. I called her Granny, because it got under her skin. She was the oldest one of all my foster parents."
"What a brat."
"Can't argue there," Naruto answered, grinning.
"So how about you?" Naruto asked.
"What about me?" Sasuke teased.
"What about your parents? Do you still talk?"
Sasuke paused for a moment.
"I'm fine with my mom. My father and I...aren't on speaking terms."
Naruto swallowed hard. He was a little surprised that Sasuke gave him an answer. He hoped that he hadn't been too pushy.
"Ah…" Naruto answered. "I'm sorry."
Sasuke just snickered.
"You think I give a flying fuck about him? Please."
Naruto felt his stomach drop. Something about the situation seemed so...sad. Sasuke was never reluctant to admit that if people weren't in his select circle, he didn't care in the slightest what they thought about him. But this was his father. Was that really all there was to it?
"Moving on to topics of actual importance…" Sasuke continued. "The fox is almost finished. One more session, and you'll be done."
Naruto didn't bother to hide his pout.
"Don't sulk. You have plenty of room for more."
Naruto was still frowning. He hadn't imagined any other tattoos he'd want. For the time being, the fox etched onto his back had but five tails. He'd add more as he faced life's obstacles, a sign of his resiliency and endurance. Each tail was earned through experience. But that wasn't what he was so upset about.
"Or do you just like the way it feels?"
Naruto went silent for a moment. Yes, he loved the way it felt. He loved the pain, he loved who it reminded him of, he loved thinking of the ink Sasuke left on his body. How no matter what happened, that would be with him until the day he died.
"I do."
"Hm…" Sasuke murmured. "I've worked on hundreds of people before. No, thousands. But I don't recall anyone looking so beautiful underneath me."
Naruto could've sworn he'd gone as red as a tomato.
That was...quite a compliment, especially coming from Sasuke. His ego must've doubled in size. But the spin Sasuke had put on it was lethal.
"Sasuke, if you keep talking like that, I'm going to get a boner in your chair again. I swear to god."
"Again?" Sasuke asked devilishly.
"Oh, come on, don't play stupid. Weren't you the one going on about how you could tell I was crushing on you from the start? And if you're wondering, it's the 'underneath me' part that makes me horny, not the 'beautiful' part. And don't you dare pretend that your phrasing was an accident!"
"You talk a lot when you're flustered, don't you?"
"Fuck you, Sasuke!" Naruto was trying to stay still, and that was quite a challenge for him. "You come in here and say some corny shit like that and expect me not to react to it?"
"It's a simple truth that you're beautiful," Sasuke said calmly, continuing to mark Naruto's skin. "And your fox is almost finished. I think it's some of my best work."
Naruto smiled, distracted for the moment.
"I love it. It's everything I expected and more."
And god, he did. It was so brilliant, so skillfully etched. The line work was amazing, the colors brilliant, the shading...he'd never seen shading like that. He had to say that his favorite part about it was the look on the fox's face, one of resilience and defiance in the face of all obstacles. It did, and probably always would, remind him of Sasuke.
"If...you really do want to remember me while you're gone, like you said… It shouldn't be difficult."
Naruto chuckled.
"I'm pretty sure I'll remember you forever," Naruto hummed, his mind wandering. "Unless I got dementia or something. Why is there a fox on my back? When did this happen? Oh my god, it's the Illuminati!"
When he heard Sasuke laugh, even if quietly and under his breath, it felt like an enormous accomplishment.
"You're so weird."
"You're a little weird too then," Naruto laughed. "For liking a weirdo like me."
Sasuke just groaned. Finally, silence fell between them.
"Do the guys at the shop… Do they know…"
Sasuke took the reins from him, reading Naruto perfectly.
"They asked if you were going to hang out with us more. I told them the truth. I hope you don't mind."
"Of course I don't mind," Naruto said. "How did they react?"
"They're disappointed."
Naruto felt guilty for his happiness at that remark.
"So… Do you think they liked me?"
Naruto could practically hear Sasuke roll his eyes.
"If they didn't like you, trust me, you'd know."
Naruto was beaming now. Even if he was just about to leave, the fact that the rest of the staff would miss him meant a lot.
"Hey, I…" Naruto started off. "I hope I didn't scare you with everything I said the other night. I promise not to make things weird if…"
"I'm not so easily scared, Naruto," Sasuke answered, relieving the burden from Naruto.
Naruto felt like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. Sasuke's confidence in addressing this came as a relief.
"I mean if things don't work out, I'm not gonna go all Fatal Attraction on you. I'm taking risks here, and I realize that it's not your fault if I get hurt."
"Good to know you're not a fan of boiling pet rabbits."
"Uuggh," Naruto grimaced. "I don't like to think about that scene."
Naruto stared off at the wall opposite to them as Sasuke worked on his back.
"You take large risks."
Sasuke still didn't see eye to eye with him on this, but Sasuke had nothing to lose here. It was Naruto who was making himself vulnerable.
"I'm strong enough to handle whatever happens. Don't be afraid of hurting me. I want to get close. Before I leave, I want to get to know you as much as I can. If I'm going to take this risk, I'm not half-assing it."
Sasuke nodded.
"Ya know, I feel kind of dumb, but…"
Naruto strengthened his resolve to continue. Everything Sasuke had done so far had reassured him.
"I've hung out with a lot of people since we talked last. It's only been four days, but no matter what I do, I've really been missing you."
"That's not dumb, Naruto," Sasuke answered, his voice soft as he continued to mark Naruto's skin.
"Am I alone? Do you ever miss me...even if just a little?"
Sasuke paused. He remembered Shikamaru's words. The sudden lull led Naruto to turn around. Sasuke's features were relaxed, a pensive expression on his face.
"I...wondered if it would have been better if I kept us as we are, if moving closer would be cruel. I've already told you that I doubt that we'll work out as a committed couple, because I don't do that sort of thing. I needed some time, but I respect your decision. I won't hold back."
Sasuke's doubts were nothing new to Naruto. He respected that Sasuke needed time. Sasuke was right that they hadn't been dating for long, hadn't even known each other for long. There were so many things they needed to learn about each other. For whatever reason, Sasuke doubted his ability to be Naruto's lover. Naruto still had no idea why.
"So yes, I did miss you."
Naruto couldn't help the smile that emerged on his face. Sasuke had missed him. He meant something to Sasuke.
"Thanks for telling me that. I don't feel so stupid now."
"No matter what happens…" Sasuke began. "I hope that we can hang out again when you get back."
Naruto had already accepted that Sasuke wouldn't be committing himself to Naruto, so this… Naruto felt like he was glowing.
"Yes, god. Even if we're only friends, that would be enough for me. I just...don't want you to slip away."
"I won't. As long as you promise not to 'go all Fatal Attraction' on me, as you put it."
He laughed at Sasuke's reference. He had confidence in his ability to keep things amicable, should the romantic portion of their relationship end.
"Yeah, I won't make it weird."
Sasuke had lived in Manhattan almost his entire life, and he seemed to shun committed relationships like the plague. If this was true, when Naruto got back… There was a good chance that he could pick up where they left off.
He'd never given up. Not for a second. But it seemed so real to him now.
"While you're gone…" Sasuke continued. He stopped his work. "Maybe we could talk every few weeks, if they allow that. I don't know the procedure."
Sasuke offered this, because he knew that Naruto would have never done it himself. He was being respectful of Sasuke, trying not to push him. But whether Sasuke liked it or not, he cared about Naruto. There was something special about him that drew him in, even in this limited time that they'd known each other. He didn't want to lose Naruto either.
Naruto couldn't help his reaction. He felt embarrassed as his eyes watered. If he could hear Sasuke's voice while he was away… It would give him such strength, such happiness.
"Of course! It's not tough. We have satellite phones to get around the shitty reception. We could easily talk that much, even more."
His hands were shaking. God, how embarrassing.
"I'm sorry, Sasuke. I… I hope I'm not creeping you out, reacting like this, but… I'm going to be stuck out in the middle of the desert. It's going to be…so lonely, and I'm going to see some things I'd rather not see… Just to hear your voice, to know you're still thinking about me…"
"Naruto, sit up."
Naruto glanced back at Sasuke questioningly, his eyes glassy. Sasuke set his irons to the side, sitting on his chair right next to Naruto. Taking care not to bump his tattoo, Naruto pivoted his body to face Sasuke. In a matter of seconds Sasuke leaned forward, kissing Naruto deeply and slowly.
Sasuke rested his large palm over Naruto's trembling digits, and Naruto clenched Sasuke's hand in his own. Sasuke gave him a tight squeeze back. Naruto remembered the way Sasuke's hand had flinched away when he'd reached out to it, after they'd slept together.
That flinch made anxiety bubble up in his stomach. And god, it had hurt so badly when Sasuke had told Naruto to forget about him.
"Thank you, Sasuke," Naruto said, kissing Sasuke's forehead. "Thank you…" Naruto kissed his neck.
He rested his forehead against Sasuke's, their breath mingling together.
"I want these ten days with you to be something I can look back on while I'm gone. Something that will make me happy and give me hope, ya know?"
Sasuke nodded.
"If you'll allow it," Naruto said tentatively. "I want to see you a lot."
"I want that too."
A pause.
"No matter what happens, I'm in your ring, okay?"
Naruto wasn't sure why, but Sasuke's eyes seemed brighter than they ordinarily did. Naruto squeezed Sasuke's hand tighter, resting his head on Sasuke's chest. Sasuke reached around and perched his gloved hand on Naruto's head.
"Naruto, I'm going to miss you."
Naruto could feel the warmth of Sasuke's body against his face, could hear his heartbeat… His head moved ever so slightly with Sasuke's breath, his ribs moving in and out.
"I'll miss you too, Sasuke…" Naruto said, moving his face up and pecking Sasuke on the lips. "You don't know the half of it."