Chapter Eleven
Disclaimer: I own zilch! Except the lovely ideas that float about in my head and those I can't be 100% sure are entirely my own anyways.
Notes: I've wanted to dip my toes into the R&I writing world for a while now but I had to wait until the black vortex of doom that I call my final year of undergraduate school spit me back out. Thankfully, it did last week and after coming home from completing my last exam, I started writing. The idea came to me a while back when I did a season one rewatch and the wheels started churning on what would it have been like had Jane and Maura met at BCU had Jane accepted and gone. Set in present day so none of that late 70s-80s vibe for our gals. I hope you enjoy.
Summary: The conclusion of the first date.
A/N: It seems, as usual, this story has begun to write itself. I generally always like to have a good sense of where I am going with a story but sometimes, that's out of the writer's hands. You'd think that being the author gives you sole control over the outcome but I learnt early on in my writing adventures that this isn't necessarily the case. With that said, I do know the ultimate path I want this story. How I am going to get there isn't so clear.
So, all that to say, please bare with me as I write off the cuff and if the time between updates begins to get longer, I apologize. I am trying to get updates up at least every two days. I hate to have any of you waiting.
Anyways, thank you for your continuing reviews. I appreciate them and I hope you continue to leave them and continue to enjoy this story.
"Are you sure I can't help?" Jane asked midway to settling herself down on Maura's couch before stopping herself, noticing the small table in the kitchen, big enough for just two. Maura looked over her shoulder as she deftly scooped a mixture of noodles from various cartons onto two plates.
"No, no. You sit," she replied before turning around and walking over to Jane who had quickly sat herself at the table. Maura smiled and handed her a plate.
"Chopsticks or fork?" she asked with a tilt of her head, holding out both in front of her. Jane reached out for the chopsticks,
"Chopsticks are fine, thanks."
Jane shifted a little in her seat, getting comfortable as she waited for Maura to join her. Maura placed her plate down on the table, opposite of Jane, before asking,
"Would you like anything to drink?"
She wandered over to her fridge, opening the door and peeking inside.
"I have water, wine, red and white, beer?"
Jane perked up at the mention of beer. Jane knew very well that beer was usually not something that Maura kept stocked in the fridge. She raised a curious brow as the blonde waited patiently at the refrigerator for an answer.
"Beer… but since when do you have beer, Maur?"
Jane began to push around some noodles with her chopsticks as Maura pulled out a bottle of beer and a bottle of white wine, placing the latter on the counter. She rummaged through one of the kitchen drawers for a bottle opener and once she had found it, cracked open the beer bottle before placing it on the table next to Jane. She offered a slight shrug of her shoulders as she returned to the counter to pour herself a glass of wine.
"I just thought it would be considerate…"
She returned the bottle of wine to the fridge, picked up both wine glass and plate, before sliding into her seat in front of Jane. Jane fingered the beer bottle, rotating it, a smile growing on her lips as she recognized the label. It was her beer. When had Maura even taken the time to notice? They'd only ever gone to a pub once or twice. She took a slow swig from the cold malt and smiled,
"Thank you."
Maura brought the wine glass to her lips, pausing for a moment to enjoy the scent of the liquid before sipping it. In reply, she offered Jane a warm smile and the brunette needed no words to know what Maura was 'saying'.
Maura picked up her chopsticks, balancing them between her thumb and fingers before beginning to eat. She paused after savouring her first few bites of food before stating,
"Did you know that the earliest pair of chopsticks to have been excavated was made of bronze? They were found at the Ruins of Yin and it is said they date back to one thousand two-hundred BCE."
Jane looked up from her plate.
"BCE?"
"Before the common era."
"Of course."
Undeterred by the hint of sarcasm Maura picked up from Jane, she continued,
"Chopsticks started surfacing during the Hang Dynasty but it wasn't until the Ming Dynasty that they were commonly used as both serving and eating utensils."
Jane looked down at the chopsticks she held in her hand before smiling up at Maura,
"I wonder what took them so long to figure out how useful two little pieces of wood could be."
"Jane…" Maura sighed. Her name rang like music to Jane's ears. She ignored the hazel eyes drilling into her from across the table and scooped a few bites of noodle into her mouth, washing it all down with a sip of beer. Eventually, chestnut eyes locked onto hazel ones. Jane was always surprised by the various colours she would find in Maura's eyes depending on the day, her mood, the shades of the shirt she wore. Tonight, the ring of gold around her irises was strongly prominent, muting the green that flecked out further from the center. The very green that came to life whenever Maura's emotions flared. Whether she was bubbling with happiness or saddened, the green always seemed at its most intense whenever her emotions were at either end of the spectrum.
"You are stunning. You know that, right? I love that you know something about pretty much everything," Jane expressed with a candor that shook Maura. Maura fumbled for the appropriate response but came up empty. Thank you didn't encompass what she wished to convey. Maura knew how intimidating academics and overly knowledgeable individuals were to Jane and the fact that Jane found these very traits within Maura stunning left her speechless.
"Makes me wonder what size your brain is to retain all that information," Jane smirked, falling back on humour as she noticed the red creep across Maura's cheeks.
"Approximately three pounds… eleven hundred and thirty cubic centimeters. I assure you, it's no bigger than yours."
Jane chuckled as she shook her head and hummed 'mmhmm' as she returned to her food. They silently continued eating, occasionally casting a glance at each other. Jane had never been a fan of silences because they had always been awkward, a sign of repressed anger, or unspoken truths, or hidden feelings. Silences had a negative connotation for her. Silence was rarely found in the Rizzoli household. Yet she found herself taking pleasure in this silence. She was able to enjoy it for what it was – a comfortable silence between two contented individuals. She was reassured with the knowledge that on her part, there were no unspoken truths bubbling beneath the surface or any repressed emotions.
They had done this before, shared a meal, sat in silence over food or coffee. In some ways, it was as if they had been dating without either of them acknowledging it. Jane smiled with the memory of a few of those moments flashing in her mind as she watched Maura adeptly capture a small piece of broccoli between her chopsticks and quickly bringing it to her mouth. She shifted in her seat as she delicately placed her chopsticks across her plate and crossed her legs. In doing so, she accidentally brushed her foot up Jane's leg. They both stiffened and stopped mid-motion, eyes slowly seeking out the other. A simple, innocent and accidental touch brought the pleasant silence to a halt as Jane cleared her throat.
"So…"
She sipped her beer, gently returning the bottle back to the table top without a sound. She started to move her thumb over the edge of the label which had begun to peel back due to the condensation on the exterior of the glass. She looked up to Maura who had a pleased look on her face and Jane couldn't quite grasp why. Was she content with the meal? With the innocent contact? With Jane?
"Yes, Jane?"
Jane didn't have anything to say. She had just needed a distraction from the warm unintentional touch under the table. What do two people who've spent so much time together of the past few months discuss? Everything seemed so trivial to Jane. The weather was definitely not a topic she'd ever fall back on. She couldn't discuss sports because she knew that Maura didn't follow them. School was completely off topic. What was left? Jane went down the checklist in her head and landed on the one topic that she knew needed to be avoided at this point. She was burning to ask the questions, to dig further, to really understand Maura and her past but it wasn't appropriate dinner conversation, especially on the first date. She didn't want to come off as an overly eager, and a potentially jealous woman.
"This is usually when I'd turn on the Rizzoli charm and try to get you to reveal something about yourself but… I feel as though, at this point, I have a firm grasp as to who Maura Isles is," Jane blurted out without any thought as she continued to meticulously peel the label off the bottle, leaving no trace of any adhesive or paper.
"Rizzoli charm?"
Maura's eyes were fixated on Jane as she rolled the stem of her wine glass between her index and thumb. The way in which she spoke caused Jane to feel warm all over. She felt Maura's toes wiggle against her leg and attempted to casually push back from the table to stand, not wanting for her sudden withdrawal to come off as unwanted physical contact. She picked up her own plate before motioning to Maura's to ensure she was also finished. Maura offered a small dip of her chin as she finished her wine. Jane stepped out from behind the table, eliminated the space between them as she bent over to pick up the plate, an unnecessary gesture, and whispered in Maura's ear.
"On second thought… I don't think you're ready for it."
Maura followed the tall brunette with her eyes as she walked to the sink and placed the dishes down with a light clang.
"Is that so?" she asked in a dreamlike haze that escaped her as she took stock of Jane's figure. She hadn't granted herself the opportunity to really soak in the chosen pieces of clothing earlier but now, in the privacy of her own home, she allowed herself to wordlessly undress the other woman with her eyes. Beneath the soft grey cotton t-shirt that hugged Jane in all the right places, Maura could trace the outline of smooth strong shoulders, the toned biceps and triceps of her upper arms, the soft curve of her lower back. Maura was all too well accustomed with Jane's body. She often scrutinized individual's posture and structure subconsciously when meeting them. It was never something she consciously chose to take note of and she rarely admitted to it either.
"Maur?"
Unless she was caught staring that is.
"Earth to Maur!" Jane waved her hand in front of her and watched as Maura blinked out of her daze, leaning back slightly in her chair before pulling herself upright.
"What were you thinking about?"
Maura went to sip her wine only to realize that she'd already finished it off and frowned at the empty glass. She looked back to Jane and admitted flatly,
"I was admiring your musculature."
"Oh…"
That was certainly not the answer Jane had expected. Anything but a comment about her musculature. Coming from Maura, however, she learnt early on that compliments were usually wrapped in an scientific blanket and she had to unravel them to truly value them. Maura stood up and brought her empty glass to the counter before reaching out and gently touching the back of Jane's shoulder, trailing her fingers to each muscle as she spoke,
"Your trapezii and deltoids…"
Nimble fingers wrapped around her upper arm,
"And your triceps and biceps."
This Jane immediately recognized as Maura's odd yet unexplainably efficient flirting. It granted her an excuse to run her hands over Jane's body and to draw in closer. If Jane knew more about anatomy, she would definitely attempt it herself considering how effective it was on her.
"You could probably read Gray's Anatomy and I'd be Jell-o in your palm," Jane confessed before she could stop herself. Verbal diarrhea. There it was again. It was the low, soft timbre to Maura's voice whenever she did that which reduced Jane's insides to putty. Maura lightly laughed, leaning in to place a warm, lingering kiss to Jane's jaw.
"Thank you."
Before Jane had the chance to say or do anything, Maura had disappeared from her side and had curled up on the couch. Jane picked up her beer from the table looking over to Maura,
"Would you like more wine?"
"That would be lovely."
Jane rested her beer on the counter as she reached into the refrigerator, pulling out the wine. As she went about the business of re-opening and pouring some wine, it occurred to her that Maura had picked her up and they had come straight from the brewery. She placed the wine back into the fridge and joined Maura on the couch. She was about to hand Maura her wine but at the last minute, pulled it away, just far enough where the blonde couldn't reach.
"How am I getting back?"
Maura attempted to reach for the glass one more time before playfully looking at Jane,
"Who said you are going back home tonight?"
Jane's brows knotted as she allowed the statement to sink in.
"I don't have anything to sleep in… or clothes for tomorrow… or a toothbrush."
Maura straightened up and was finally able to retrieve the wine glass from Jane's hand. She took a sip and smiled against the rim of the glass,
"Bedroom."
Maura watched as Jane looked over to her bedroom door.
"What about it?"
Jane had tried her hardest to not even think about the bedroom. Up until that very moment, the bedroom was non-existent. As far as she was concerned, Maura slept on this very couch. She had to stop her mind from wandering to the room that Maura had just verbally acknowledged did indeed exist.
"Go look," Maura encouraged with a nod towards the room.
Jane rapidly retrieved a coaster and squarely placed her beer on top of it before quickly covering the distance from the couch to the bedroom in a few strides. Looking in, she found one of her gym bags on the floor at the end of the bed. She shot a glance over her shoulder at Maura who was happily sipping her wine.
"Is that…?"
When she wasn't given any answer, she crouched down next to the bag, unzipped it and found a pair of her pajama boxers, an old softball t-shirt from a few years ago that she had since started sleeping in, and some fresh day clothes. She straightened up and walked back into the living room, pointing to the inside of the room.
"That's my stuff in that bag. How did you…"
And it dawned on her.
"My mother!"
Maura kept her eyes on a spot on the couch as she delicately fingered the stem of her wine glass. Yes, she'd contacted Angela in order to ask whether she could put together some of Jane's belongings and Maura had willingly explained that it was in case she spent the night. Angela had politely accepted as much information as Maura would dilvuge and prodded no further. Maura had been hesitant about it as Jane's reaction could go either way but she had decided to go through with it. She wanted to ensure that if Jane were to entertain the idea of spending the night, she'd have her own clothes. Little comforts.
"Is it too much?" Maura asked, her eyes flitting to Jane and searching for any indication. "It's too much, isn't it?" she exclaimed, placing her wine glass down on the coffee table in front of her as she stood to face Jane.
"I'm sorry… boundaries when it comes to privacy are blurred."
Jane stood in awe. She wasn't mad, or shocked. She was in awe because the individual who stood in front of her had claimed to not know the first thing about being in a relationship beyond the physical realms and yet she'd orchestrated a first date that demonstrated the complete opposite. She reached out and grabbed Maura's hands.
"Maur, it's fine. I'm just… I don't know. You sure you've never done this before?" Jane joked, not quite sure how to cope with all the overwhelming feelings surfacing. All at once, she wanted to laugh, to run, to hug Maura, to cry even.
"Unless my memories have somehow been repressed, yes, I'm quite sure. Are you sure it's all right? I didn't want to seem overbearing… but I wanted the option to be there if you considered staying over which seems rather confident of me in retrospect. I'm sorry, Jane."
Jane took a moment to mentally step back from the situation which allowed for her to process what she was trying to make sense of in her mind. Had anyone else pulled something like this on the first date, she'd be long gone. She would have bolted. But this was Maura and Jane knew her thanks to the painful three months of unrequited foreplay they would both look back upon and always refer to as their friendship. Jane knew that despite coming off cold to others when it came to those that she allowed inside, Maura could be extremely warm and compassionate. Jane was seeing this side of her now. Maura had gone out of her way to ensure that Jane's needs were met, and that if she were to spend the night, she'd be comfortable. This whole afternoon and evening was Maura's subtle way of showing to Jane that she could think of others, that in this relationship, she could weigh the importance of what mattered to Jane.
As Jane allowed for that realization to wash over her, both hands reached out and gently cupped Maura's face. Pulling her close, her lips found Maura's in a tender embrace.
"Don't ever be sorry… not for that," she mumbled against Maura's lips.