Oh my lanta! I've been trying to log on ALL day long, but the site kept saying that it wasn't loading or the connection was timed out. I don't know. ANYWAY! I am so sorry that it has taken me literally ALL day to get this to you. I finished it up this morningish and didn't even get it sent to my beta, butterflydance21, because the site was down. I hope you enjoy, and again, I apologize that it wasn't up earlier!

John's POV

I watched as she put a smile on for our kids, but whenever they weren't in the room that smile dropped. It was non-existent around me unless one of the kids was there. She did everything she could to make life as comfortable for Alanna, Noelle, and Nova. She'd end up being the cool mom that every kid talked about, that every parent wanted to be.

Kendall was growing larger ever week it seemed, by now she was nearly six months pregnant, and the other three kids were excited. Alanna and Noelle had wanted to know right away if we were having a boy or a girl, while Nova and I finally agreed on something for the first time in months. We didn't want to know, we wanted it to be a surprise. It was much more fun that way.

"You shouldn't be making dinner," my mom chided as she walked into the kitchen where Kendall and I silently cooking together.

"I'm not doing much, I just like doing this stuff," Kendall shrugged, walking behind me to the fridge to pull something out that she needed.

"John Felix, you shouldn't let her do this. She should be sitting down, propping up her feet," Mom said, throwing a wadded up napkin at my head.

"He still doesn't believe me," Kendall muttered, quietly so my mom wouldn't hear, but not quiet enough for me to miss.

"Really?" I snapped, "How many times are you going to through that in my face?"

"Until it stops hurting," she blurted out, glaring at me before turning back chopping things for the salad.

"Kendall, I really wish you'd stop being so childish. It's been two months since you told me, no I didn't believe you right away. But when I got back from my business trip, it was kind of hard to deny," I admitted.

"See, that's the thing, John. You should have believed me. Name one thing that I have ever lied to you about. Tell me one thing that I have done to give you reason to not believe me. And it's not like this is the first time. It's the second time, you didn't believe me when I told you I was pregnant-"

"Okay, we get it. I didn't believe you the first time because we weren't even talking. And you told Randy before you told me-"

Kendall turned around quickly, "I told Randy because I was actually talking to him. I told him because he was my best friend and I trusted him to not tell anyone. At the time, I couldn't trust you. You hurt me, I thought you were a part of that- Oh, get that look off your face, I know you weren't. But back then I didn't. I would have told Randy before I told you this time too, if he were alive."

"Because you were in love with him," I smirked.

"Don't go there John. That's not even relevant with this conversation," she replied, frowning.

"You loved my dad?" a quiet voice asked from the doorway to the kitchen.

Swearing under her breath, Kendall turned to see all three of our kids standing in the kitchen. From what I could see of the looks on their faces, they'd heard that last part. "Did you love my dad?" Alanna repeated.

"Alanna that was a long, long time ago. But he didn't love me like that, he loved your mom. He met your mom and they fell in love. And I was very happy for them," Kendall said quietly. I couldn't tell if she was so quiet because she didn't want to upset Alanna or if she was trying to keep her voice steady.

"So does that mean you don't love Daddy?" Noelle asked, thoroughly confused.

"No, no, that doesn't mean that at all," was Kendall's quick response.

"Daddy doesn't love Mommy," Nova said angrily, "He be's mean to her and he hurts her."

"Guys, I'll explain it to you when you're all older, but right now you just wouldn't understand," Kendall tried to get them to drop the subject, but Noelle looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

"You don't love Mommy? You hurts Mommy?" she asked before sniffing and turning to run upstairs, followed by Nova and Alanna.

Kendall made a move to go after them, but I grabbed her by the arm and growled, "You're not going to walk away from another argument. We're going to finish this."

"My kids are more important than this argument, John. Their upset," she pleaded, struggling against my arm. When she realized I wasn't going to let go she looked to my mom, "Carol?"

"I'll go check on them," she nodded, speaking for the first time since she basically started this damn argument and quickly fled the room.

"John, let go-"

"Shut the fuck up and listen to me, Kendall, because I am only going to tell you this one time. I'm not sure when you got it in your fucked up little mind that you had any power in my house, and frankly I don't really care," I growled lowly, "Because it stops now. You are going to stop fighting with me on everything and you are going to start listening to me. Do you understand?"

"John, please-"

"Damn it, Kendall. I asked you if you understood, not to whine at me. I'm done listening to your whining, if I hear it anymore, I'm going to punish you and you're not going to like it," I snapped, truly meaning every word I said as I tightened my grip on her arm.

Wincing, she opened her mouth to say something but shut it quickly and shook her head. My eyes narrowed towards her and I pulled her closer to me. "You better give me the answer I want to hear and you better give it to me now."

"You never give me the answer I want to hear," Kendall said, though as soon as it slipped through her lips, she knew she shouldn't have said it. I felt my eyes glaze over and darken at her words.

Dragging her across the kitchen, I brought her to stand by the stove which still held the pans for dinner. The food was long forgotten but pan was still hot as I pressed her left forearm against it. Her scream echoed through the house as she tried to push away from me, she knew it was failed attempt. I was much stronger than she was. And I didn't plan on letting go of her.

Kendall's POV

"John Felix Anthony!"

He finally let go and I dropped to the floor, holding my arm close to me, as I crawled away from him. I was so afraid of him now. I hadn't been this scared of him in a long, long time. A hand touched my shoulder but I shied away from it, I shied away from him. The look in his eyes, the look on his face, the tone of his voice, nothing was my John. He wasn't my John anymore.

"Babe, it's me."

I moved my eyes to see Tasha crouching next to me, concern flashing through her eyes. When I looked back up to John, I saw Sean standing in between us. I could only see his back, but his shoulders were hunched over in a somewhat fighting stance. Whimpering, slightly, I pushed myself even further away; suddenly afraid of what was going to happen.

"Sean, don't," Tasha said softly, "Come help me, please."

Shaking my head, I told them I wanted to go upstairs. I wanted my kids, I wanted to hold them and tell them things were going to be alright. But they weren't seeing it that way.

"You need to go to the hospital," Sean whispered, putting one arm underneath my knees and the other around my back, picking me up effortlessly despite the fact that I was nearly ten pounds heavier than normal. "We need to get your arm checked out."

I shook my head again, "No, I want to see my kids."

"Shut the fuck up Kendall," John growled still standing by the stove, "Sean put her down. She's not a fucking invalid, she can walk."

"I'm not your bitch, John. I'm not going to listen to whatever you tell me to," Sean told him, "If that's what you think then you can forget seeing Tasha and me."

"Then get the fuck out of my house. Leave me and my family alone," John said. But when Sean started to walk away, still holding me, John got even more pissed. "I told you to put her down. She is not leaving my house unless I tell her she can."

"John, you don't own her. She isn't a piece of-"

"Property?" John laughed as Tasha tried to defend me, "Do you remember why she's here in the first place? Of course she's a piece of property. And she's my property, she belongs to me."

"I'm not leaving her here with you. Not when you're acting like this," Tasha said.

"It's not really your decision, Tasha. Unless you've forgotten why you're still here," he shot back at her.

"Will those kids ever be good enough for you John? She gave you what you wanted; she gave you more than you asked for. But it's never been enough for you. Will they ever be good enough in your eyes?" Tasha asked.

"It's not the quality or the quantity of the kids, Tasha. You'll understand that when you have your own," he answered.

"Then what is it?"

"It's the dumb bitch they came from."