Chapter 11: Nightmares and Do-Overs

I'm standing in the forest. The sunlight streams in through the tree leaves, and I know that I should feel calm and at peace – but instead I sense that something is wrong. It's too perfect, and too perfect…

I spin around and find myself face to face with a pale, blond man who is staring at me hungrily. I shiver in his presence, then am frozen in place. He circles me, trailing an icy finger on my shoulder. He stands at my back, and I don't know what to do as he leans down and poises his mouth at my throat. I hear him inhale and prepare myself for the worst when suddenly, a great object knocks him to the ground. It's Puddles – Collin, here to rescue me from this nightmare. The two contrasting beings roll around on the forest floor, fighting for the kill. But Collin is not doing as well as I'd hoped. And I'm unable to move again, only capable of watching this horror. The Cold One smiles triumphantly before biting Collin's shoulder. Wails rip through the air, full of pain and agony. I try to scream, scream my lungs out, but although my mouth is open wide I cannot make a sound.

Blood smeared around his mouth, he turns to me and grins.

This time my screams are audible.

I wake up and taste blood.

It seems that in the night I bit my cheek excessively. I'm shocked that I didn't wake up screaming though, after what I just saw…

I roll over to check the time and almost fall out of bed.

It's 5:13 am.

As in the morning. I don't think that has happened before – ever. I hate waking up before 11 (and I prefer to sleep in past noon). Mornings are the worst part of the day. Especially with the awful images I just dreamed still fresh in my mind.

I wouldn't be able to bear it if something like that, or remotely close to that, happened to Collin. I was so helpless – I couldn't even scream! (Screaming and shrieking and freaking out (oh my) are what I do best.) I don't want him in danger, not even to save me.

… Although it is kind of nice to know that my prince will come to my rescue.

Gah. I'm falling for fairy tales.

After two hours of running thoughts similar to my nightmare through my head, as well as writing down a few new ideas for my novel (that may or may not include what just happened to me), I head downstairs for breakfast. My parents are sitting at the table (I suppose that's their normal morning routine – I've never witnessed it), pouring cereal which is spilled as soon as I enter the room.

"What – I – huh?" My father rubs his eyes as if to ensure that he's not dreaming.

"Gah. Is it that unbelievable for me to be awake at this hour?"

They give each other a glance. "Yes."

I throw my hands up in defeat, then make myself breakfast. Ugh. Mornings. Why can't the world just skip to the afternoon? I should never have to be conscious at 7 am on a Sunday.

I take a long time in the shower (the water feels colder so early in the morning), constantly thinking about my dream. What if Collin did die trying to protect me? I honestly don't know how I would cope.

Wow. I can't believe how quickly my feelings have turned. Could it possibly have been just a week and a half ago since I started talking to Collin? And yet I'm already devoted to him, as he is to me.

Man, things move fast around here.

I call Penny around 8; naturally, she is already awake. I quickly fill her in on my night. When I finish, the other end of the line is silent, and I know that she is biting her bottom lip.

"Hm." She finally says.

This worries me. How can she possibly be so quiet after hearing what I've told her?

"Come over, okay?" I say, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"No. You come here." Then the line is dead.

I hastily shove my laptop, notebook, pencil case and bio notes into my shoulder bag. In case I stay for long, I figure I should make use of my Sunday. (Wow, look at me, thinking logically. Being prepared. How unusual – gah, I think mornings mess with my brain.)

I shout goodbye to my parents and bike to Penny's house. She opens the door just as I reach for the doorbell and grabs my hand, pulling me up the stairs.

"Pen, what the hell is going on?" I ask, pulling my hand away once we've reached the room that her and Taylor share. [NOTE: Please don't hate me. But I realized that it doesn't make sense for Penny and Taylor to have their own rooms when the twins have to share and the two boys have to share.] Taylor looks up at us for a moment, then goes back to rhythmically throwing a basketball into the air.

"That was your first nightmare, right?"

I nod, then wonder… will there be more?

As if she knows what I was thinking (to be honest, she probably does; Penny is extremely observant), she says, "I have them all the time. I'm always scared that something will happen to Seth, especially when…" She glances at Taylor, then continues, "Things similar to what happened on Thursday occur."

For some reason, I didn't relate my dream to the events of last week. Now I can't understand how I missed the connection. Collin could have died; no, I don't even want to think about it. But I force myself to. What if he did? What if any of the wolves did? What if Seth died? I've never even been to a funeral; I feel more lucky and aware of that now than I ever have before.

"I…" My voice drifts off. I don't know what I should say. Instead of waiting for me to figure something out, though, Penny drags me out of the room and into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. She quiets her voice.

"Being an imprint is more than you might think," she says. "It's not only about being in love. We are just as bound to the pack as the wolves are. We need to be there for them, and we have to stay helpful and strong and courageous even during the worst times, because that is when we'll be needed most. We need to be like the Third Wife."

Confusion settles in my brain. "Who?"

Colour drains from Pen's face. "Oh. Um… you'll understand at the next bonfire."

"Bonfire? What are you talking about?"

She looks at me. "See? There's a lot you still don't know. I'd better get Collin on that." She pulls on my arm one more time, and we re-enter her room. She tries her best to give Taylor a comforting smile, which is ignored by the second party. Thankfully, it seems as though Penny's sister did not hear our conversation.

As if on cue, my phone rings. I glance and the caller ID before answering – it's Collin.

"Hey!" I say, the corners of my mouth turning upwards.

"Hay is for horses," he replies. I can imagine his smirk, and I start to feel giddy.

Me. Giddy.

Yes, I did just say that.

My mind reminds itself that I should ask him about the Third Wife (who I'm beginning to remember from the Quileute legends), as well as resurfacing the image of him lying on the ground, in wolf form, with blood spilling from his back. But he speaks again before I can mention any of what is going through my head.

"So," he starts, and I can hear a hint of hesitation in his voice. "I was hoping that tonight we could go out to dinner. Start fresh. How does that sound to you?"

My smile returns, pushing the thoughts of my nightmare from my head. I tell him that his proposition sounds great. He says he'll pick me up at 6, and assures me that he doesn't have patrol tonight. (Even if he did, I would rather tell Sam off than reschedule.) But this is exactly what I need. A do-over. A new beginning to what will surely turn out to be an incredible relationship.

I can only hope.

Penelope and I spend the day together. Shortly after I hang up the phone, Collin texts me the name of the restaurant he made a reservation for. I look it up and discover that it's a nice but small Italian place in Forks. I allow myself a quick fantasy of eating spaghetti and meatballs 'Lady and the Tramp' style before focusing on the task at hand: figuring out what to wear.

Before she goes to work at 1, we look at Penny's clothes; it's so convenient that we're the same size. She lends me her red silk tank top, which has a cinched waist and a sequined neckline. When I get home I will pair it with my own dark-wash jeans, gladiator sandals, and silver locket. (I ought to put a picture of Collin in that sometime…)

(Which reminds me: I ought to get a picture of Collin.)

Then we bike to the bookstore. I work an hour each on biology, English, and trigonometry. I spend one last hour writing before giving Penny a hug and biking back to my house. Once I'm there, I change into my fuzzy green housecoat and stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. It's time to put on my face.

Ack. I wish Penny was here to help me. (Unfortunately she works until 6 tonight; I think she's even more disappointed than I am at that fact.)

It takes some time, but in the end I have successfully given myself dark brown smoky eyes. My usually plain brown eyes look bright and almost golden. After applying mascara and natural looking pink lipstick, I change and then set to work on my hair. I decide to pull it back into a high ponytail.

Finally I am done. I go back into my room and read over my biology notes. After half an hour, I realize that I haven't absorbed a thing – I've just been reading the same line over and over again. My mind is focused on tonight – I don't want anything to go wrong. And I desperately want to see him again. I need to make sure he's okay – my nightmare has me completely psyched out.

I glance over at my alarm clock; it reads 5:37 pm. GAH! I have to wait twenty-three whole minutes! I really hope that tonight works out… no unpleasant surprises, no crying or yelling or freaking out. I will be on my best behaviour again.

But wait – if he really likes me, won't he accept me for all the crazy that I am?

…

Ack. I think too much.

I'll just be myself. That's not too bad, is it?

… I don't let myself answer that question.

I grab my black purse and go downstairs to the living room, where I pace until I see lights on the street. I check the clock on the wall – it's only 5:52. He's early. Oh my gosh he's early. What do I do?

After frantically pacing for another two minutes, I realize that he's still not at my door. Why hasn't he come to the door? Is he debating coming inside? Is he just going to honk and expect me to get in the car? Because I am not okay with that.

At 5:57, I hear footsteps on the stairs outside. But still no ring from the doorbell. What is he waiting for?

Finally at 5:59, I slip on my sandals and open the door myself. His eyes are wide in shock, and his left hand, balled in a fist, almost hits my face.

"Hi?" I say after jumping backwards.

His cheeks are bright red, and I can feel the heat coming off of him.

"I just – I was about to – knock," he finishes, staring at the 'welcome' mat. He sounds defeated.

I have the urge to pull him into a hug, but I resist. Instead I shout goodbye to my parents, lock the door, and walk down the stairs. He opens the passenger side door of the car before I have the chance to, and I give him a smile before getting in.

Once he is in the car as well, he puts his hands on the wheel, looks down and says, "I didn't want to be too early."

How cute is he?

I lean over and give him a peck on the cheek. Then I tell him to go; I don't want to be late for our 6:30 reservation.

A few minutes after he starts driving, spots appear on the windshield. A second after that, the sprinkle of rain turns into downpour, and I start freaking out. Can the universe not be on my side just this once? I am pretty sure it's working against me. Its goal is to piss me off.

And it's succeeding.

"UGH!" I grunt. (How attractive of me; I almost forgot that my date is sitting less than two feet away.) "This is awful! Why? Why does the weather hate me? I can't believe it! Our night is going to be ruined!"

Collin gives me a quick glance before pulling over. Thankfully the road is deserted; the way he did it, forgetting to signal, probably would've earned us the finger from the hypothetical driver he would have cut off.

He turns on the interior light, takes my hands in his, and looks into my eyes. "As far as I'm concerned, this night will be great. All I need is for you to be here." Aw! "If you really want, we can turn around and try this again another time… But personally, I'd like you to give it a chance."

I sigh and give his hands a squeeze. They're calloused and large and strong-feeling. I imagine them cupping my face and pulling me in, running through my hair and down my back…

I gulp and return to reality.

"… I guess I can deal with a little rain…"

His eyes light up and he gives me a huge smile. "Perfect. I'm sure it will turn out better than you expected." And with that, he turns off the light and returns to driving.

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape?"

I smile. This ought to be good. "I don't know, what?"

"Breathe idiot, BREATHE!"

I burst out laughing. I wonder if I'll become the purple grape; I can hardly stop long enough to inhale.

I love this idiot's jokes. And what's more, he's my idiot. *Sigh.*

"You look incredible," he adds after my laughter has subsided. I'm glad that he's open about how awesome I look now. It's quite a confidence booster.

"Thanks." I smile and pray that I'm not blushing. (I think I look awful when I blush.)

Collin's POV

My remark made her blush.

She's so cute when she blushes.

Really. She looks beautiful. (Well, she always looks beautiful, but I can't help thinking that when her cheeks turn a rosy pink, her eyes look bright but won't meet mine, and her smile is small but reaches her eyes, her beauty is magnified a thousand times.) It's rare to see her in such a vulnerable state; she consistently maintains a strong, get-out-of-my-face-or-I'll-hurt-you attitude.

But I know that she's more than that.

I tell a few more jokes and watch her smile widen. I love her laugh; her voice is even more enchanting than when she's yelling at me.

The rain starts to let up to my excitement. I pull into the parking lot of the restaurant and get out of the vehicle. The falling water cools down my skin, and I feel refreshed. I take Adrienne's hand just before she slides out gracefully. I continue to hold it as we walk into the restaurant, earning another blush from her.

Oh God. Oh God, what if my hands get clammy?

Please don't get clammy hands, please don't get clammy hands…

Adrienne's POV

I'm hoping to God that my hand isn't sweaty.

The hostess (thankfully this lady is wearing more clothes than Suzi the slut) asks us if we'd like to sit on the patio. Despite the fact that is just rained, Collin says "Sure! That sounds great!" and follows the woman outside (dragging me along).

We end up sitting under a large awning that must have shielded our table from the rain. We both order salads to start, but I ask for water and lasagna while he gets a Coke and a small pizza.

I know that he's going to eat it all.

When our salads arrive, Collin tells me another joke: "Why was the tomato red? Because it saw the salad dressing!"

I laugh, but mentally apologize to the cherry tomatoes as I eat them.

(I am not crazy. I am not crazy.)

(I'm not.)

(…I should get tested.)

Our date goes extremely well. I am less fazed by the rain than I was before, probably to Collin's relief. We talk and talk and talk – but it's not a one-sided conversation. I'm actually listening, and it's great. We tell funny stories from our childhood and more bad jokes (such as "Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents."). I'm not worried that I'll say something wrong; I'm comfortable. But not bored. You know? I just – gah. It's hard to explain. But… I'm smiling, and happy, and I love it. I love who I am when I'm with him. I feel like I'm finding the real me. And it's worth dealing with a little rain.

It's worth standing in a hurricane.

For dessert we both get strawberry gelato – it's amazing, just like the rest of the food. After we pay (I refuse to let him take the entire bill, so we each pay for our own – but I let him cover the tip), we head back to the car. He points to the sky in awe, and I look up to see a majestic rainbow arching across the sky. I smile; maybe I should give rain another chance. Maybe it's just like Collin and me; it starts out rough and angry, but ends with a miracle.

Daw. I love ooey-gooey romantic stuff.

The drive home goes too quickly. Before I know it, we're standing on the sidewalk, holding hands and swaying slightly, talking about how bright the moon is…

"Will I hear the wolves howling tonight?" I ask. I can see the moon in his dark brown eyes.

"I'm sure I can arrange a visit from Puddles," he says with a smirk. I roll my eyes but smile, thankful that I'll get to see him again. Gah. I hope I don't become addicted. Then again, if I do, who cares? I'll be happy, he'll be happy, and Penny can surely survive with just Seth…

I flop down on the grass. I am suddenly exhausted, and I lie down on my back, taking a deep breath in. My dad must have cut it while I was out; the smell of grass screaming for help is intoxicating in a delicious way. (Yup, I need to get tested to see if I am insane.)

After a moment of hesitation, Collin joins me on the grass. I trace my index finger across the palm of his hand, finding every bump and crevice, and finally resorting to simple circles.

I take another deep breath. "I'm sorry for getting in such a tizzy earlier; I'll admit, I'm a piece of work, but… it means a lot to me that you haven't… you know. Run away or anything. So… thanks."

He looks at me for a minute, and I think he's about to say something sweet when he bursts out laughing. He's clutching his stomach! What the hell did I do this time?

"A tizzy?" He gasps in between fits of laughter.

That's what he's laughing about?

I 'hmph'. "Yes, a tizzy. What's wrong with that?"

My glare does not affect him. He continues to laugh, and I can feel the heat rising to my face – and not from embarrassment this time.

"Don't make me get into another one."

He wipes a tear from his eye and straightens up. "Alright, alright… I'll do my best not to anger you, at risk of witnessing another…"

He looks at me. "Tizzy."

Annnnnnd he's off again.

I roll my eyes and shake my head. This round takes another minute to wear off. Then he gets up off the grass. He takes my hand and pulls me up, then pulls me in close. I breathe him in; his normal woodsy smell is now mixed with the smell of freshly mowed lawn. I intake a quick breath before his lips crash into mine. I do my best not to gasp; it's amazing. I could kiss him forever.

But clearly my parents won't let that happen, because I can see flashes of light behind my closed eyes. Reluctantly, I pull away and watch the front lights going crazy; surely my father is behind this. (More accurately, behind the door, watching us with wide eyes and flicking the switch on and off.)

I look up at Collin and say, "I guess I have to go."

He leans down for one more kiss and, after squeezing my hand and whispering goodbye, gets into the car and drives away before my dad can attack him.

I walk up the front steps, still in a blissful state. I'm glad I didn't make him turn the car around. I'm glad that he can get me out of a mood. And I'm extremely glad that he's such a good kisser.

I am going to have a little chat with my father about privacy tonight.

Once I'm up in my room, changed into pyjama shorts and an oversized midnight blue t-shirt featuring a wolf's head, I open the window and look out into the night. Then I turn my gaze down to the forest; as I had hoped, my wolf is there, staring up at me patiently. I won't go out tonight, but I look back at him for a while. "I love you," I whisper. I think I'm glad that he's not close enough to hear me.

Hello! I hope that you liked it! I'm kind of struggling with NaNo right now; I still have nearly 5000 words to write before the end of the month. Yikes. Anyways, please read and review! Also: I have to change the age of the triplets in order for my next story to work. I want them to be finishing grade 8. Americans, help me: if their birthday is in June, how old would they be turning?
Thanks guys! Again, I love to read your reviews, so please post them! They encourage me!

3 :D :)

Seeweed.