...I'm awake...stirring under my blankets...
Groggily, I open my eyes and sit up in bed, immediately sensing that something is wrong.
In the dim light of the bedroom, I can make out the vague outlines of each of the other Emotions asleep in their beds. Joy lays cuddled up to the stuffed bear she'd taken as a souvenir from Imagination Land. Anger fights in his sleep to keep the blankets flat across his bare feet, and Disgust's head is hidden beneath the pillow, and he snores peacefully into his bed sheets. And of course, Fear's bed is still cold and empty. It seems as though no one else has caught onto the disruption that drew me out of my sleep. What's going on?
I tiptoe to the end of the bedroom and quietly open the door to make my exit. The instant I'm out in the main hub of Headquarters at the top of the stairs, I am hit with the awful, wicked collection of sounds that can only mean the Alarm is going off.
June's heartbeat thunders so loudly that I barely hear my own helpless shudder. Her breaths are shallow and rash. A piercing, ringing tone plays non-stop in my ears. I wince and look out to the console, seeing that Fear is madly striking buttons and thrusting levers and twisting knobs, eyes fastened to the View, where June seems to be looking into the dark, non-distinguishable faces of several doctors at the hospital. Justice is behind them in a a hospital bed, and somehow, I know at first glance that he's dead.
"You're brother's gone, June," a doctor says, confirming my thoughts, and my heart plummets. He leans in close to the View…close to us. His eyes are appalling and abstract, burning like furnaces, distorting his skull. I can't bare to look. Fear can't look away. "You won't see him anymore."
"And cancer is hereditary," says another doctor as horrifying as the last. "That means you'll be gone next."
"NO!" Fear shouts over the din, "Enough of this, enough. It's a dream, it's just a dream, it's JUST A DREAM."
And he's right.
The Alarm's light bulb is dark, the hushed nighttime lights of Headquarters are still on, and the rumbling which usually accompanies its activation is not present. The Alarm is currently dormant.
June is having a nightmare.
"Wake up, June!" Fear throttles the edges of the console as though he has someone by the shoulders. "You have to wake up!"
I run down the ramp toward his position, uselessly calling his name through the terrifying sounds of June's nightmare. Down here, armed with the knowledge that June is asleep, I am able to see the sheer amount of Worry Orbs that have been sent up into the air. The Alarm isn't on yet, but too many of these can and will set it off. I have to calm him down.
In the View, a doctor is pulling a latex glove over his hand, his awful eyes staring directly at us. Fear hesitates over the console, eyes wide and filling with dread as they lock into those of the dream figure. His entire body heaves for breath as he watches the eerie movements of the doctor's hand.
There is a blinding flash of light, and suddenly the hand rakes outward to snatch us, its fingers and palm coated and dripping with Justice's unsightly blood, coming for ours.
Fear screams and slams both of his hand downs on a button on the console, and with a shriek of her own, June bursts awake. At once, though I can still hear her gasping for breath, the ringing in her ears and the pounding of her heart stops.
Fear is gasping and gritting his teeth, bracing himself on the edge of the console. His entire body is shaking and he drips clear, glittering sweat onto the console. I reach to put my hand on his back and expect him to startle, but he doesn't so much as flinch. Like he's catatonic before me.
June starts to curl into herself, her hands clamped tightly over her ears. Fear's violet memories begin to roll down the rails, knocking into each other in rapid succession, one immediately after another. The Worry Orbs split and divide, doubling in their numbers.
"Fear," I whisper desperately, "Fear, it's over...It was just a dream."
"No, no, no…I forgot, how could I have let myself forget, it's today, it's today, we're going to see the doctors today." His eyes pan onto me as his fingers curl and dig into the edge of the console. "We, w-we were dreaming about being in school again, we were playing in a park, and Justice was there. I thought about him in the hospital, and that's when I remembered, a-and suddenly the whole dream twisted into a horrible mess because of me. I shouldn't have let my guard down, I can't believe I fell asleep on the job and let myself get so absorbed in those happy memories - I'm not supposed to feel happy, I need to worry about Justice. I should have known better. This is my fault, this is all my fault."
June begins to rock herself back and forth in bed.
I listen as the others begin to emerge from the bedroom and make their way down a level.
"Ugh, what the hell happened?" asks Anger.
"Was it a nightmare?" asks Joy.
Disgust gasps. "Look at all of these things, they're everywhere. We've got to get them out of here." A Transfer Tube descends at his command. I hear as he attempts to burst and collect the Worry Orbs as they float about the room. "Try to gather them up and we'll send them to – I don't know - the Subconscious."
"Good thinking," Anger says. "They'll float right out of the Dump. Come on."
The Anger and Disgust make this their jobs, while Joy arrives at our position and sets a hand upon Fear's shoulder.
"It'll be okay," she says soothingly.
Fear chews aggressively on his fingers beneath her hand, and in turn, so does June. "No," he says. "No, it won't be. "
"Yes it will. You'll see."
He finally looks up to face her. His bloodshot eyes are giant globes of panic. "You don't know that! You don't know what can happen between now and then, you can't possibly know. There are only guesses, guesses and guesses and guesses upon guesses. The outcomes are endless. And I don't know where to keep putting them all, Joy. I'm running out of space in my head."
"Fear-"
"What if it isn't okay? What will we do? What good will your beautiful, happy memories be if the worst comes to worst? And it can - it always can, the worst can always find away. Nothing is stopping things from turning out badly. What if it isn't okay?!"
Joy is so desperate to help Fear rationalize, when his nature is irrationality. Her voice cracks while they continue to argue. I look up to the View, and then back to them.
I just let them argue. I look back to June's dark bedroom, to her bare toes curled tight against her feet, and close my eyes, sensing the heartache in June's chest. A frown darkens my face. All of a sudden, while Fear and Joy continue to beg one another to understand, I'm driving the console.
June draws a sharp, startling breath and sobs into her hands. I am dimly aware that the voices and activity behind me have stopped, that everyone is staring at me and my work. I pay them no mind. I'm here for June. I belong to June.
And I just drive.
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's Inside Out. Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.
Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply
***UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. (Fic formerly titled Wound Tight.)*** ~KQSimply