It had been a while since I last checked my emails. It was an avoidance. To avoid Damon and to avoid myself from feeling weak again. But it was time to face the reality. I did not want to squander my life living under impending doom all the time. I still had a life to live.
It was shocking to learn that I had almost 20-30 emails in the last couple of weeks. To my surprise half of these were from Damon.
I hesitated for a moment before clicking open his emails. It was time for me to step right into and through my fear. I would not give in this time and I knew I could handle it whatever happened.
There were a few well wishing mails from him plus a few greeting cards. It was very nice and thoughtful of him. But I had leant my lesson about love. I knew when was the time to walk away. There were no more second thoughts.
Then the next few emails caught my attention. I held my breath when I read through them.
Dear Elena,
I'm not sure what had happened this afternoon. Did I say anything that upset you? I'm sorry if I had said something that upset you.
Hope this email will make you feel better and smile again.
Damon
Dear Elena,
It is very usual for you not replying my emails at all. Are you angry with me? I have tried calling but you are always not around and you never answer your cell phone. Is there some misunderstanding between us?
Friends drift apart as they grow and change. Is that what is happening to us?
Damon
My heart started to ache and I tightened my fist to push away my tears and feelings. I had learnt not to let these feelings to suffocate the life out of me again.
Dear Elena,
I have spoken to Carline at work. Guess it would be the only way that I have to find out what is wrong with you. She must be a good friend as she never says a word!
However I sincerely hope that you will reply my email or give me a call soon. I really want to talk to you.
Damon
I couldn't control my tears anymore. I shut down the PC as I couldn't bear to read further. This friendship was all I had desired and ending it hurt me more than I could describe.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered as I continued to weep.