A/N: I am so sorry...
They send Sodapop a birthday card a whole month before his birthday. They also include a three-page letter, a picture of Darry and Betty making out on the porch swing that one of Ponyboy's friends took as a joke, and another picture of Ponyboy holding his acceptance letter to Oklahoma State. But they still don't know if he'll get it in time. God only knows how long it takes to get mail out in the jungle.
They've taped the pictures that Soda sent them to the fridge. Ponyboy thinks that it makes him seem less far away. Darry feels exactly the opposite, but he doesn't say anything. Ponyboy will only be home for a couple more months, and he wants it to go as smoothly as possible. It's not worth starting a fight over.
It hurts every time he goes to the fridge for a beer and has to see the pictures. That should have been enough to get him to cut back on drinking, but all it does is make him drink more liquor.
Sodapop's birthday comes and goes, and they're both very aware that he isn't there. If he's lucky, he's celebrating somewhere in the jungle, but there's a distinct possibility that he's dead, and it's weighing on them more than usual. Ponyboy flunks a pop quiz in math, Darry yells, and then feels guilty. After Ponyboy goes to bed, he drinks more than half a bottle of bourbon over the course of two hours, and then he spends the early hours of the morning hugging the toilet while Betty sits beside him and rubs small circles on his back. He goes to work dehydrated, sleep deprived, and miserable. The smell of the tar is nauseating, and he has to excuse himself multiple times to get sick off the side of the roof. It's a wonder he doesn't fall off, and he's been sent home before the end of his second hour at the job site.
He goes straight to the shower once he's home, turns the water on cold, and lets the icy water pound on his back. There's no one around, but he's still trying as hard as he can not to cry.
There's only one thought running through his head. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
XXX
They get another letter from Sodapop around Christmas. He got their card close to his birthday. It was only a week and a half late. He gushes about how proud he is of Ponyboy for getting into college and getting all his scholarships, and he also says that he won't be surprised at all if Betty is pregnant when he gets back.
He's seen some fighting now, but he doesn't think it counts as real combat. They stumbled on a few Cong while they were out on a patrol, but some of the more experienced guys took them out pretty quick. He doesn't go into much detail about it, and Darry isn't sure if it's because he's so shaken up about it or because he doesn't want to worry them. It's probably a little bit of both.
Things are uneventful other than that. They play cards a lot and try their best to keep cool and dry. He says that he misses them. Only five more months, and then he'll be back. He's hoping that he'll be able to watch Ponyboy graduate.
Darry sits up late that night, looking at the Christmas tree that Betty insisted on putting up, and she and Ponyboy decorated with their mother's old ornaments. He should be happy. Their hard work paid off, and Ponyboy is going to be able to go to college in the fall. Sodapop seems to be in a relatively safe place in Vietnam, and if things keep up, he'll be home in less than six months. Betty isn't showing any signs of being tired of him, and she and Ponyboy haven't said anything about his drinking.
Things are as good as they can be, but he can't shake the gnawing feeling in his gut that something is going to go very wrong, and it's going to happen very soon.
XXX
When Valentine's Day comes, they haven't heard from Soda in two months. Darry wants to ask Betty to marry him, but he chickens out at the last minute. He only has two hundred dollars to his name, and he doesn't want to marry her while he's broke.
XXX
Two more letter exchanges and a telegram later, and Sodapop is going to be home a week after Ponyboy's graduation. They're all disappointed that he won't be there in time to see the ceremony, but they're counting their blessings that he's alive and will be home soon. But Darry is still nervous. Ponyboy and Betty are acting like he's already safe and sound back in Tulsa, but he won't rest easy until Soda is actually home.
XXX
The night before Ponyboy's graduation, Darry can't sleep. Betty is warm and soft next to him, and he wants nothing more than to spend the night holding her. But he can't quiet his mind enough to fall asleep, and staying in bed is just making him restless. He sighs, rolls out of bed, walks into the kitchen, and grabs the bottle.
He's sitting on the couch looking through an old photo album when he hears a door creak open. Footsteps start toward the living room, and then Betty is sitting next to him.
"What's going on, hon?" she asks. "Come to bed."
He shakes his head and takes a swig from the bottle. "Can't sleep."
"What's the matter?"
He sighs. "I don't know. I just have this feeling that something awful is going to happen to Soda before he gets home. It's stupid."
"It's not stupid. It makes perfect sense that you're worried about him. It's gonna be OK."
"I don't know, Betty. I just don't know."
He closes his eyes and leans back against the couch. The room starts slowly tilting from side to side and then starts to spin.
"Drank a bit tonight, huh?" Betty says softly.
She eases the bottle out of his hand, and he lets himself tilt to the side until he's lying down on the couch. Betty mumbles something that sounds like, "oh, honey", and covers him up with a blanket.
She sits beside him on the arm of the couch and holds his hand until he's asleep.
XXX
They're all in good spirits after Ponyboy's graduation. Darry's hangover is mostly gone, Pony has a party to go to later, and Sodapop will be home in a week. He's starting to realize that he was shaken up last night over nothing. Everything is going to be fine.
He turns onto St. Louis, and there's a nice car parked in front of their house.
"Is it Social Services?" Pony askes. "I didn't think Mr. Harris was gonna' come by today. He got a new car."
Darry pulls into the driveway, and his heart stops. There's a strange man on their front porch. He's wearing a military uniform.
His first thought is that he should cover Ponyboy's eyes and drive away. Maybe he hasn't seen yet. But Darry is paralyzed. When he finally is able to turn around to face him, he's sheet white and shaking. He's seen the man on the porch.
They walk to the house in what feels like slow motion. His body feels both hot and cold at the same time. His mind is shut down- a total blank.
He makes eye contact with the stranger, and he says the three words that he was dreading hearing but knew were coming.
"I'm terribly sorry."
This was part of Outsider Fic Jesus's Plan all along. I know, I'm the George R.R. Martin of Outsiders fic.
I am terribly sorry. Tear me a new one.