The sound of the machines, the mask over his face or the tubes and needles in Spencer Reid's body wasn't what made Morgan find it hard to breathe as he entered the room. It was the silence and the fragile look of his entire form.

It was hard for Morgan to sit down next to the bed, even harder to touch the cold hand that belonged to the kid of the BAU.

"You look awful, G man" Morgan tried, but his voice cracked and he knew it was useless to try and act normal at that point.

He rarely cried, but the sight of Reid's bruised face an pale skin made his emotions overwhelming. A salty tear hung from his eyelashes and he wiped it away.

"Why's your hand so cold… Are you cold?"

He stood up and pulled the blankets up closer to Reid's chin and gently rubbed his hand with his thumb. He didn't recognize himself, but he didn't want to stop.

His hand moved to gently stroke the brown locks and he was careful not to touch the brusied face. He would never want to cause Reid any pain.

Morgan sat back down again and sighed. He felt useless and guilt washed over him like acid rain.

"Somehow I made you afraid to tell me… And it caused this to happen" he swallowed as a sore lump infected his throat. "I'm so sorry, Spencer…"

It was as if the sound of his name made Reid react. His fingers twitched and Morgan gently touched his hand again. "Reid?"

Long, slim fingers gave Morgan's hand a weak squeeze and he couldn't help but smile.

"It's Morgan, I'm right here"

"De… Derek?" Reid mumbled quietly. Morgan squeezed back.
"I'm right here"

He could see Reid's eyes move under the eyelids.

"You saved me…"

Morgan didn't know what to say. He was happy Reid was awake and talking.

"You're strong, kid" he said and smiled. Reid slowly opened his eyes and looked straight at him.

"No… I staid for months with a man who turned out to be a monster. I let him do whatever he wanted to me because I kept telling myself he loved me… That he didn't mean to hurt me"

Reid swallowed and Morgan remained quiet. He just looked at the genius, listening. "I have seen it so many times in cases, I should have known I was digging my own grave"

Morgan let his thumb stroke along Reid's slim, pale fingers.

"Sometimes love makes you blind"

"I did not expect to hear that from a guy like you" Reid said and Morgan looked down at the floor for a moment.

"I know… I guess I have been both blind and confused…"

There was a tension spreading in the room, like electricityin water. "When… When I talked to Bill he told me it was my fault… That he abused you… That everything was about me when it should have been about him"

Morgan looked up again and noticed Reid's eyes were glazed. The young agent turned his head and stared at the ceiling.
"I'm really tired, Morgan…"

It was like someone stabbed through Morgan's soul. He just stared at Reid for a few seconds before he stood up and slowly walked to the door. He stopped just before he could reach the door.

"Do you know what really hurts?" he turned around, but Reid was still staring up into space, lips pressed tightly together. "That you punish yourself this hard by not telling me the truth. That you so deeply believe I'd judge you and look down on you. I thought you knew me better than that"

As the door closed and Reid was left there all alone again, he felt as broken as he looked.

***

After Prentiss left the room, Bill went mad. He threw his chair into the wall and screamed his lungs out.

"I'm not letting you in there again alone" Hotch told the brunette. She just nodded.

"It's getting to him, though. I think Reid is a sort of key in all this, I'll just have to find what kind of lock the key belongs to"

As Prentiss headed back to the door to the interrogation room, Hotch nodded towards one of the security officers to join her.

"Why are you so angry?" Prentiss asked as she stepped into the roomand looked over at Bill, who was standing in the shadow of the corner, panting, boiling.

"I want to see him" Bill mumbled. Prentiss sat down by the table in the only chair still standing and looked down at her neatly placed hands on the table.

"After what you did to his face, I doubt that"

She knew she was provocing him, and her own words scared her. She hadn't seen Reid yet and she feared it would be just as bad as she was saying.

Bill stepped into the light. His jaw was clenched.

"I know I'm a bad man, a sick man… But I love Spencer and I want to know what's going on"

Prentiss licked her lips and decided to make a dangerous move.

"Are you a murderer, Bill?"

When she looked at him, she could see there was terror written all over his face. Fear and terror. "Maybe you want some time to think about that…"

Again she left the room, wondering if the man had meant any of the words that had escaped his mouth.

***

Detectives Stabler and Benson asked Reid the usual questions… How long? Why? How did you two meet?

Reid was tired and the pain medicine they provided him barely did any good. He was not allowed morphine, due to his old addiction to Dilaudid.

He answered their questions without emotion, like a robot. He just wanted to be alone and deal with the pain his own way.

It hurt him just by thinking of Morgan's words, but he knew it had been true. Just the fact that Morgan knew it all scared Reid and that had been what caused his silence.

The reason to why he had never told Morgan about his feelings was because Morgan was known as a 'ladies man' and his constant teasing about Reid not 'getting any' had made Reid drift away even more, trying to maken his feelings go away.

He had hoped the abuse from Bill would have caused his mind… and heart to give up on love, forget it excisted, but it only made it stronger. It made him wish for comforting words, strong arms just holding him, or just his presence.

He had pushed Morgan away by his own fears, and it made him want to give up everything. For the first time, he really felt useless. His mind meant nothing anymore.

"Doctor Reid, are you okay?" Benson asked. He snapped out of his own thoughts and slowly turned his head to look at her.

"No" he simply replied. She tried to smile, but it came out weak.

"I'm sorry" she said, nodding slowly. "We have what we need so far, you should get some rest"

Reid said nothing as they left. He had nothing to say.

It was like he had used up all of his voice and he wondered why he kept sharing uninteresting and stupid facts with his team. It made his eyes water as he thought about it, and he barely noticed JJ walking into the room.

"Are you in pain?"

She quickly walked over to his bed and looked at him with the purest eyes. She was the only one who would stay by his side no matter what.

"It won't kill me" Reid said and tried to smile, but it only made the corner of his mouth twitch a little.

"Why do I hear disappointment in your voice…?"

It was hard for JJ to be proffessional at that moment. She swallowed.

"I'm just scared, JJ"

She sighed.

"We won't leave you, Spence… Ever"

He swallowed hard and blinked away an annoying tear that made his vision a blur.

"Morgan thinks differently"

They just looked at eachother for a moment and JJ bit her lip as she gently ran her fingers along the unbruised skin on his hand.

"I have to go and see how the team does… You should sleep"

Reid just nodded and felt the loneliness cling to his skin, cold and sticky, as JJ left.