Title: The Perfect Plan
Author: Makoto Sagara
Archive: The usual suspects; anywhere else, please ask.
Category: AU, Drama
Rating: T+ (back to tame matters)
Pairings: 13x6, 2x5, 3x1, 4+R+4
Warnings: Shonen ai, AU, cross-dressing, OOC, language, angst
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, but I do own my computer. I don't make money from writing this, only the pleasure of having this written and enjoyed by my readers. Suing would be pointless; for all that my wallet holds is receipts for all the manga and anime that I buy.
Author's Notes: No more trying to remember Aztecan names, everyone! Thank goodness! It was confusing, even for me. ;; Now, where are they and what else can I do to make them even more angsty?
Chapter Twelve: Where the Hell Are We Now?
"Ugh, my head," Relena moaned, trying to sit up. Her hand landed somewhere soft and she tried to use it to push herself up, causing one of the men she was with to cry out in pain.
Treize moaned in pain, both from his head and from the assault upon his genitals. There was a mumbling and all the other men seemed to want to help the OZ general stand up. "Dear Lord, what did I ever do to you, Miss Peacecraft?"
"I…" She paused, realizing what she did, and turned beet red. "I am so sorry, General Khushrenada. I didn't know…"
His face settling in a pained grimace, Treize dusted off his… breeches and sighed. "I know you did not mean any harm, Relena. All is forgiven." But it was hardly forgotten, and the oldest of the eight spaced himself away from the girl. "It seems half of us are in breeches and tunics, and Relena, Maxwell, Yuy, and… Zechs are in dresses..."
The other six turned to see the pilot of Wing Gundam in a frilly blue dress, complete with tight bodice and laces in the front. His hair was pulled into a bun-like covering at the nape of his neck the same color as his dress. Duo and Relena were dressed in matching dresses of pure white, embroidered with gold threads and simple gold tiaras and necklaces. Their hair was free and flowing around them. Zechs was in a dress of the deepest purple, with a rather scandalous plunging neckline. His hair was bound in a similar fashion to Heero's, only laced with tiny pearls that matched the ones stitched on his dress.
Wufei was in a white tunic and black breeches, gold threads accentuating his skin tone and offsetting his long hair that was hanging loose. Quatre was dressed in the same colors and style of costume, only his tunic was black and his breeches and hose were white, and he had silver filigree to accent his outfit. Trowa was dressed in green from head to toe, which offset his eyes and made a very fitting sight. Treize was in a red and blue outfit that went extremely well with his coloring. All in all, the eight made a very cutting group to look at; but to hear the exclamations from Duo one would have thought they were of the very lowest classes in society.
"Duo, seeing as how you are dressed as a very proper lady of nobility, probably a princess, I would watch my language," Quatre whispered, secretly glad that it wasn't him in a dress this time.
"Fuck you, Quatre! I'm in a frilly, ruffled dress! I look like a fucking fairy princess," Duo swore, trying to find a way out of the dress.
"These types of dresses button up in the back, Duo. Fighting and clawing will only tear it and you will be in women's underwear, in public," Relena said gently, trying to stop the American from destroying the gorgeous gown he was in.
Relena's comment stopped the fuming boy. His skin blanched to a very unhealthy shade and immediately his hands dropped to his side. The thought of being in women's undergarments, regardless of the era, didn't sit well with the Deathscythe pilot. "I'm really starting to hate this time traveling thing. When can we get back to fighting Romefeller and back to our Gundams?" He heaved a sigh that strained the bodice of his dress. "I never thought I'd say this, but, right now, I'd even rather be back on the slums of L2 than wherever we are now."
"That's quite drastic, Maxwell," Wufei said, cutting his eyes to look at the way the dress hugged the other boy's body in a very unnerving sort of way. He was more than aware that his lover was male; however, the prospect of seeing him in a dress this time was both arousing and disturbing. "I would like to suggest that we do some intelligence gathering before we do anything hasty."
"That's easy for you to say. You don't look like a marshmallow," Duo muttered, trying his hardest not to tug on any of the garments he had on.
"Judging from the style and materials of our clothing, I would say that we are somewhere in Europe's Renaissance era," Treize said. "Our current surroundings suggest that we are in a large city of some sort as well."
"I think that's a good guess, Treize," Relena replied. "But, where and when exactly are we. If I remember correctly, Italy came out of the Dark Ages first."
"That's right, but I don't think any of the architecture here suggests Italy to me," Quatre said, taking another look around. "I think it's more of the France-Switzerland area, actually."
"Your assessment seems correct, Quatre," Heero said. "I do not think that we are in Paris, or we would recognize something."
"Not necessarily. Most of the things that would be easy for us to signify this as Paris were added in the 1800s," Duo said, tugging on his loose hair. "The Arc de Triumphe was built by Napoleon. The Eiffel Tower was around 1860, I think…. However, we should be able to find Notre Dame near the Seine. But, I don't see anything that would give it away, so your guess is as good as mine."
"It seems your guess that the device not taking us back to our own time was correct, Yuy," Wufei said, trying to stop Duo from pulling his beautiful hair out of his head. "We're not even on the same continent anymore."
"Right now, I would give my left foot to be back on one of the colonies," Duo sighed, wiggling free of Wufei's strong arms.
"Um, excuse me, but we haven't really gone that far into the future, have we?" Relena asked suddenly. "If I remember correctly, the Renaissance occurred during the 16th to 17th centuries AD. We were about the same time in Mexico…"
"You do present a good point, Miss Peacecraft," Treize said, his expression becoming lost in thought.
"So, instead of traveling ahead in time, we've managed to move continents," Quatre asked.
Heero picked up the device where it had dropped and examined it. "It seems as if the teleportation device has sustained no further damage." He opened up the hatch to check the wiring. "All of the gold wiring is still in pristine condition."
"The pink diamond seems to be chipped though," Trowa said, stepping closer to take a good look at the device as well.
"Oh, that's great," Duo muttered. "Don't tell me that we have to try and find a replacement diamond as well. That's gonna take forever!"
"I have to agree with Maxwell. That's going to be a bit problematic," Zechs said finally. "Where in the world would one begin looking for such a stone?"
"Africa," Quatre said offhandedly.
"Yeah, well, Q, that ain't happenin'," Duo said, throwing himself on the ground in a most unbecoming sort of way.
"Hm, I think Quatre is right. I remember seeing a diamond that was a bit smaller than that in a book once. I think the book said it came from the Ivory Coast," Relena added.
"You read?" Duo teased.
"Shut up," she shot back, shoving him playfully.
Treize cleared his throat. "As much as I would love to continue this stimulating conversation between Duo and Relena, I believe we should really start some reconnaissance to figure out where we are exactly."
"I agree," Heero stated. "We should split into pairs and meet back here at 1200 hours."
Duo looked up at the sun. "Well, if I had to guess, it's around 0800, so that gives us four hours of searching." He locked eyes with Wufei and started to move towards him.
"I believe we should split into abnormal pairs," Trowa said, watching the way that Duo was behaving. "I will go with Chang." He started to head east.
"I will go with Heero," Zechs said, heading north.
"I believe I will go with Winner," Treize added, heading west.
"That leaves me with Duo," Relena said unhappily.
"Yeah, don't try to spare my feelings, Little Lady," the Deathscythe pilot said before setting off for directly south, leaving the girl to run to catch up with him.
"I'm sorry, Duo," the girl said breathlessly when she finally did reach him. "I didn't mean to disrespect you or anything. I…" She blushed, causing Duo to cut a suspicious look at her. "I was hoping to spend more time with Quatre, truthfully."
"Oh? Didn't you two spend plenty of time together the last few weeks?"
"What about you? Everyone saw that look you gave Wufei."
"Guilty as charged," Duo said with a shrug. "But, I never claimed to be pure of thought."
"True," Relena said through giggles. She stopped laughing to give her companion a long look. "You know, I never did thank you for saving me from being shot by Heero."
"I seem to remember you yelling at me for doing that."
"I, um, er, yes…" She blushed again, this time in self-disgust as well as embarrassment. "I apologize for that. And thank you."
"Think nothing of it, 'Lena. It's the price of doing business in this war." He nudged the girl with his elbow. "Just glad to know that there's one less person planning my funeral, though."
"I have a confession to make."
"This should be interesting. Go ahead."
"I disliked you after that time because of how close you were to Heero, even though you shot him. You were an obstacle, in my mind, to my ultimate goal."
Duo laughed so hard that he had to stop and put his head between his knees in a very un-ladylike position. "Oh, please, tell me another one. I still have my spleen."
--
"I don't know whether to kill you or thank you for that move, Barton," Wufei said calmly as the two boys surveyed the land as well as they could with no tools.
"Thank me. We do not know where we are, and Maxwell's look promised that the two of you would not be much help in finding any clue," the European responded.
"Evidently, you missed the look you were giving Yuy's rear end."
"Ah, that is where you are incorrect." An uncharacteristic smile appeared on the taller boy's face for a fleeting moment before disintegrating. "I know perfectly well what look I was giving at that moment. Heero looks interesting in a dress." The corners of Trowa's mouth twitched upwards again. "Duo doesn't look so bad either."
"No, he doesn't," Wufei said distantly. "What?" The indignant and jealous tone in his voice wasn't lost on Trowa, who had been hoping for that reaction. The slight chuckle from the European was a bit disturbing for Wufei, but it wasn't altogether unpleasant. With a slight frown, the Chinese pilot walked in a different direction, under the guise of recon.
--
"So, um, Treize, how are you feeling now?" Quatre asked after many long minutes of silence between himself and the older man.
"Well, Mr. Winner, I can finally walk properly again," was the snide remark.
"Uh, well, that's good."
After more painful quiet, Treize sighed in acquiesce. "Pardon me, Quatre. I did not mean to take it out on you because Relena nearly castrated me. It was an accident."
"Yeah, no offense, but I'm just glad that it wasn't me. I have enough issues with her without something like that." The blonde flashed a sheepish smile that was accompanied by a slight blush.
"Yes, I can imagine it. A Peacecraft is a very problematic lover once taken," Treize answered, running a hand through his ginger hair. His attire seemed to fit him almost to a tee, and he seemed extremely comfortable in the period clothing. It was then that Quatre remembered seeming the general in a disturbingly similar outfit – his military uniform.
"I have a question, Treize. Are the military's uniforms modeled after this time period's clothing?"
"Hm, I believe this is a little more 'outdated' than my usual uniform. I would say that the uniform is styled after Louis XV style, without the pumps and wigs, mercifully."
"I would have thought that those details would be right up Dermail's alley, as the saying goes."
"Oh, I'm sure they would, along with the rouge and ribboned stockings, but those are not something that everyone would like to wear." The general frowned at the thought of looking like an 18th century Frenchman. "Definitely not."
"That makes me glad to have been born to an Arab family. I don't think I could handle your uniforms," the blond said, his face taking on an extremely thoughtful look before speaking again. "Relena and I aren't… lovers."
"I'm sorry," Treize said, sounding embarrassed at his previous remark. "I just assumed that you two were from the way that you have been behaving lately."
"I'm not sure what we are, actually." Quatre shook his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be dragging you into my problems with her."
"Not at all. You're fine, Quatre. However, I do suggest you figure out where the two of you stand."
"Why is that?"
"Because I believe that until we leave here, you two will be extremely close. As will Misters Maxwell and Chang."
"Hm, you may be right," Quatre said, stopping as he spotted a large villa. "I think we've found the nearest residence, Treize."
TBC